That Sucks

Sports suck! Why would you wants to run around like an idiot? I mean, yeah, the women and the fitness and the money. Okay

All your clothes suck! Actually, clothes suck in general. Can't we just go naked everywhere

It's bad enough that you have to share your living space. But sharing it with slobs? And open-door pooers? And GHOSTS? An apartment full of suck, that you're locked into for a year.

What's worse than awkward family holiday dinners? Nothing. Well, genocide. But, after that, nothing.

Dude. No matter how hot your bod is, it's still gross. All those sounds. All those smells. Like it or not, your body sucks. At least you're not alone.

Half-assed vegetarians, grownups choking down kid food, and absurdist microwaves? Chew on that.

Wax on, wax off, wax up, down, sideways...whatever. Fighting still sucks. When you're losing.

Oh man. What happened last night? All you remember is taking 19 body shots off of a Ukranian foreign exchange student with itty bitty hairy titties. And it totally sucked.

Vegans, politicians, hipsters, Octomom...you all suck. And so does the rest of the world. The moral of this story? Don’t hold doors open for anyone, ever. And don’t feed the bears. Really.

Your boss is an a-hole, your co-workers are too chatty, and you’re way underpaid. Sound familiar? The worst part of hating your sweaty nad-sack of a job is that you can’t quit, or you’re screwed. Hooray, economy!

Who isn’t ready to throw in the dating towel after an endless stream of mediocre dinners with losers who still live at home with their parents and spend the entire night whining about their exes? And yes; it was obvious.

Never mind concentrating on pithy issues like war or healthcare or upcoming elections. What the world really needs is for people to focus on heralding the minutia of every second of every moment of every day of their lives, 140 characters at a time.