Digital Porridge

In this show we're  talking about sniffing each other's bums,  being a missionary for another culture, various dreams we've had (as in, what we do while we sleep), bad laundry habits, swearing in front of our mothers, The Most Awesome Address in the World, and a reminder of our Exclusive Listener Ultimatum! Download Episode 15 right here!   Not sure what the hell 'dubstep' is? It's one of the latest mainstream trends in electronic dance music, and it goes a little somethin' like this: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKriBNF_2tI&feature=channel] This sort of music works the best if you can blast it at 5,000 watts from a car looking like this or better yet, this As for Mat's 'fear of being naked in front of a group of peers', this is what 'plimsoll shoes' look like: These are what kids use during their PE lessons. There are grown-up versions like this one with Run-DMC branding: Find out all about the various Gropecunt Lanes of Ye Olde Englande on Wikipedia! Or take a tour of England's more lecherous street names like Love Lane, Butt Hole Road, Dumb Woman's Lane, Mincing Lane, Crotch Crescent...but our favorite has to be (Let's not forget our runners-up Titty Ho, Back Passage, Pennycomequick Hill, Fine Bush Lane and Minge Lane!) Finally, we'd like to remind all of our listeners that the only thing we ask of our listeners is that we get some feedback: whether it's right here on the blog, on iTunes or even Facebook - OR ELSE! Listen to this episode right here!   When you’re done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Tell your friends about us, and encourage them to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley : Catch Up! : Get the Episodes 1-10 Archive

We kick off Episode 14 talking about pedophiles (paedophiles if you're a Brit), religion, battered women, famine, getting chased by nutters, charities, and finally our exclusive sponsorship deal with BMW! So it's all sunshine and light in this one! Download Episode 14 right here!   Here's that billionaire song that Mat attempted to sing...not sure how Mat would do on any of the Idol Factory type shows, but clearly this guy is a winner: What is it with Top 40 music these days? It's utter crap, innit?! So here's a joke interlude: In a deeply rural part of the country, a gas/petrol station is struggling to sell fuel, so the owner has a sign that says 'FREE SEX with fill-up'. A customer pulls in, fills up and goes inside to ask for his free sex. The owner says 'Pick a number, and if you guess right you get the free sex.' The customer says, 'OK...seven!' The owner says, 'Sorry, the number was five, you'll have to try next time.' A couple of weeks later, the same customer drives up with a friend in the car, fills up and goes inside. The owner tells him the same thing, and this time the customer guesses three. 'Nope, sorry, the number was four today - just one number off!' The customer goes back to his car and tells his friend, 'You know what? That free sex offer is rigged, there's no way that guy gives away free sex.' The man's friend says, 'No, that's not true actually - my wife won free sex twice last week!' We've shortened it a bit from the original place we found it on Reddit.com   Listen to this episode right here!   When you’re done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Tell your friends about us, and encourage them to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley : Catch Up! : Get the Episodes 1-10 Archive

Oh, this was a tough one, Porridge fans! As the Germans say it was a difficult birth, this episode. With various planets aligning against us, we had to  improvise...quite a bit...just to get this week's episode out before hittin' da clubs on the weekend. So excuse the sound quality and any weirdness in this one, but we still liked it and, well, we spent quite a while editing the damn thing so you're going to sit down, listen to it and enjoy it, alright!? Download Episode 13 of the Digital Porridge podcast here!   The first big news in this episode is our new sponsor, wanting to tout their upcoming electric car! How Mat is going to fit his kids Tristan Nigel and Orson Quadrillius in this on the school run we're not quite sure yet, but imagine what it'll look like with massive DP stickers all over it! As Frank talks about his goals, he mentions that he wants to complete a marathon, so of course Mat asks if Frank will be wearing his homemade sandals made in the style of the 'running Indians of Mexico': Your guess is literally as good as ours.  (Seriously, there are native Indian guys in Mexico that run ultramarathons in these) For anyone unfamiliar with the C. Thomas Howell comedy/rom-com classic 'Soul Man', check out the IMDb info for it here. It's one of the most recent movies you can say 'they would never make that these days'. Classy, innit? Finishing up with the goals we've got, Mat's Twitter account is @MatMcCallum and Frank's is @krushgroove, and Frank's blog/site can be found at sheepfrenzy.com if you can stand to actually READ a website :P   Listen to this episode right here!   When you’re done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Tell your friends about us, and encourage them to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley : Catch Up! : Get the Episodes 1-10 Archive

That 'One' is spelled out not to be pretentious, but to just be posh. Is there any difference, though? We're not sure. This is the first of the much-anticipated DP Films series, which is going to show how Mat and Frank work on ideas for a short film (from 5-15 minutes or so). It's not a movie review show, it just kind of tracks the DP Films progress in the making of 'film shorts', as 'we in the business' calm them. So this one is a bit windy with plenty of banter, but it is about us making movies, basically. Download Episode 1 of the DP Films podcast here!   It's a long one (just over 50 minutes) but it is the first in the series and there's a lot of challenging stuff to get through! As for that director that didn't want to have his name on a famous movie...that guy is named Walter Hill and the movie is Supernova, which Francis Ford Coppola was brought in to save. Then he was involved in writing and producing the third and fourth Alien movies, a series of which Frank is a big fan of...until it was screwed up by this guy. Anyway, check it out on Wikipedia, the last 2 paragraphs. And here's that said bastard who is the fan of the Japanese electropop girl trio Perfume, doing his now-infamous 'Happy Birthday Kashiyuka !!' video [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UpGBaeFxigk#t=95s] (somehow I don't think the recently re-uploaded video with notes on the bottom will wipe the craziness clean!) Unfortunately this guy uses the pseudonym 'Frank Evins', which is just terrible because all the strangest people on TV are called 'Frank'...but we'll roll with it. Want to know more? Check out the story on Know Your Meme. Eventually, Mat and Frank get down to business and read the outline for what might be the first-ever DP script... Just a warning! It is dark. And we mean Dark with a capital 'D'. Like...DARK. Is it too much? Is it too dark? Is it just a few steps beyond? We're not really sure. You guys tell us!   Listen to this episode right here!   When you’re done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Please tell your friends about us, and encourage them to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley : Catch Up! : Get the Episodes 1-10 Archive Just a final note: We LOVE gays! We don't like pedos! ('paedo' in the UK) And we like these 'Sassy Gay Friend' videos from Second City!

We're spending the night at Mat's house in this show! We get started with some cider and a bitter, then get the ball rolling with Japanese showers, then we move on to Mat's cat, other less-living cats, Mat's kids, child abuse and other insignificant matters. Download Episode 12 right here!   Frank's drink of choice: full pints of pear cider, he likes his drinks sweet! Mat is the taller pear As for Mat's choice, John Smith's Yorkshire Bitter...well it's all about plain speaking, as you can see below The original TV ads The much more recent Peter Kay ads And finally here's  Mat's home address in Google Street View   Listen to the show right here! Let us know what you think of this episode! Seriously, we really, honestly, truthfully do want to hear from you!

We've got a special New Year's welcome to all of the Porridgistas out there! To kick things off for 2011, we've got discussions about dead relatives, diseases we'd like to get, cricket (that strange British game that's about as boring and pointless as baseball), Mat rants about sports, Frank shares a story about getting pegged in the head with a baseball, and finally we get into our brand-new-for-2011 Recommendations portion of the show! We're also celebrating the fixing of our downloads for iTunes and RSS subscribers, which is actually a very good thing for us. To help us celebrate, you  can now download the first ten episodes of Digital Porridge in a handy single file (a ZIP file with episodes one through ten...duh!), so grab them and give copies to your friends! Download Episode 11 right here!   Want to know more about gout, goiters, scurvy, jaundice and ringworm? Just...uh, click the links that you just read in the above sentence. Curious about cricket? Well, if you're British you're either fanatical about it, or you just couldn't care any less about it whatsoever. Here's the stupid Ashes cup that literally tens of people go crazy for:   Listen to this episode right here!   Let us know what you think of our first episode of the year! We really do want to hear from you! Post a comment on our blog, tweet at us on Twitter, post on our Facebook fan page or email Mat or Frank. You can even send us a voice or musical message! When you’re done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Please tell your friends about us, and encourage them to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley

It's all about Christmas in the Digital Porridge household! Mat tells us a heart-warming tale of crackhead carolers, Santa kills himself in his reindeer garage, New Year's Eve anarchy antics, family 'what we did this year' letters, Duplicate Pasta Problems, the House of 1000 Penises, and finally we advise our loyal listeners to not do things we wouldn't do. Download Episode 10 right here!   Here's a video of the game of Tetris played on a building: Want to read about the origin of Santa Claus? (think about it, in comic book terms, as Santa Claus #0: The Origin!) Check it out here. And here is the info about the 'black Santa' that Mat was thinking of - there's a couple of different versions...Krampus comes to haunt the naughty kids! Woooooo! Listen to the podcast right here on the website! Let us know what you think of this episode! What's your reaction? What do you have to say? Post a comment on our blog, tweet at us on Twitter, post on our Facebook fan page or email Mat or Frank. You can even send us a voice or musical message! When you're done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Please tell your friends to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley

In this show, Mat starts us off with a tale of ritual childhood hazing, then the conversation goes into a discussion of garage use in the US vs Britain, suicide hotlines, a lengthy discussion of that asshole alien in the movie Starman, and a bit more. Download Episode 9 right here!   The inside of a Scotch egg: ...and it turns out there's a Scotch Egg Appreciation Society on Facebook. Of course. If you're curious about Scotch eggs and want to learn more about them from Youtube, check this out: Here's the scene in Starman that convinced Mat that Starman is a total jerk: Listen to the podcast right here on the website! Let us know what you think of this episode! What's your reaction? What do you have to say? Post a comment on our blog, tweet at us on Twitter, post on our Facebook fan page or email Mat or Frank. You can even send us a voice or musical message! When you're done listening, please rate us on iTunes or Podcast Alley Please tell your friends to subscribe either on iTunes or with the RSS feed. Get in touch : the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! : Subscribe : iTunes | RSS feed : Rate us : iTunes | Podcast Alley

Digital Porridge Episode 8: The Sick Show!   Mat is back from his sick days, and he is not much better than he was last week, but at least he can talk and give you Porridgistas your dose of the Porridge. This time around, we talk about cough medicines, toad urine, stag nights/bachelor parties, iTunes (which we now feature on!), acupuncture and the reaction we've received to our musical choices.   Don't know what Covonia is? Maybe this will help you understand what we're talking about in this episode. And here's the Ricola lozenges Frank goes on about. (Finally, to correct Frank, we're up to *eleven* subscribers as this is typed, but there's room for plenty more, so don't forget to subscribe!) Get in touch: the DP blog | Facebook | Twitter | email Mat | email Frank | send us a voice or musical message! Subscribe: iTunes | RSS feed Rate us: iTunes | Podcast Alley

Digital Porridge Episode 7: Secret Agent Road Trip!   Join us, Mat and Frank, as we take a trip by automobile to the secret agent garage to fit out the car with crazy Inspector Gadget, well, gadgets! On the way, we discuss the proper way to fill up your car, the American holiday of Thanksgiving (Happy Turkey Day, by the way!), pronounciation and more in this ride on the road to madness.   Get in touch with us! Give us a shout out on Twitter or drop us an email: frank.digitalporridge AT gmail.com or mat.digitalporridge AT gmail.com! To make it easier to get the podcast, it's easy to subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. There's even an  iTunes link! Also, please vote for us on Podcast Alley! It's free to sign up and any votes will help bump us up in the New Podcast ratings :)

Digital Porridge Episode 6: Shabba Franks and DJ M and M   Well here it is! Episode number six, and it could be called a doozy! Well, sort of. Actually, maybe it is wrong to call it a doozy, because who knows what that is, really? Anyway, the guys talk about cows, owls, high school hijackings, maybe another gig and more in this one. The new music we decided on was supposed to be used in this show, but a technical glitch forces us to start using it in the next episode. The technical glitch is that the files were left on another computer. Want to see Frank's picture from the rally he mentions in this show? Click here! And scope out his orange velour tracksuit here, don'tchaknow!   Let us know in the comments or on Twitter what you think! To make it easier to get the podcast, it's easy to subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. There's even an  iTunes link! Also, please vote for us on Podcast Alley! It's free to sign up and any votes will help bump us up in the New Podcast ratings :)

Digital Porridge Episode 5: Double on-ton-dray   Here is our musical episode! Although Frank feels totally like crap, now is the  time to get down to the business of choosing some theme music for the The song choices we liked the most during the episode were: Fifth Avenue Stroll Road Trip (this is the one Mat really liked, Frank likes it too because it reminds him of the Ren and Stimpy theme) If you think these suck, feel free to send us some music we can use!   Let us know in the comments or on Twitter what you think! To make it easier to get the podcast, subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. An  iTunes link is provided also! Also, vote for us on Podcast Alley! It's free to sign up and any votes will help bump us up in the New Podcast ratings :)

Whooo, Episode 4!   We are catching up on the Halloween vibe! Is it too late? Of course not! After a sponsor announcement from singlemuslim.com, Frank and Mat go over their Halloween activities and more importantly how they spent the evening. Giving out candy or cowering in fright? We also cover scary movies, cool Halloween stories and we try to get to the bottom of Mat's evil hamster. We also celebrate the addition of our awesome new LOGO, courtesy of our good friend Paul from Ozzel.com! We think it looks fantastic, and it is already on our Twitter account and we'll be adding it to the blog very soon. Follow Paul @porlzilla, he also paints and creates custom figure sculptures!   Let us know in the comments or on Twitter what you think! To make it easier to get the podcast, subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. An  iTunes link is provided also! Also, vote for us on Podcast Alley!

Digital Porridge Podcast Episode 3: apologies for the delay Digital Porridge Episode 3 [Powerpress] Delays, birthday trips, cows and cats, is there any we do not talk about in this one?   Let us know in the comments or on Twitter what you think! To make it easier to get the podcast, subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. An  iTunes link is provided also! Also, vote for us on Podcast Alley!

** updated with correct download link now! Digital Porridge Episode 2   From children crapping in the streets to childhood photos, and birthday stories to handy priests, we cover it all in this episode!   Let us know in the comments or on Twitter what you think! To make it easier to get the podcast, subscribe to our RSS feed using Google Reader or whatever news reader you use to get the latest blog and podcast updates direct to your web browser, phone or media player. An  iTunes link is provided also!