Stay Happily Married

Is there a way to gain respect from your stepchildren without turning into an evil stepmonster? We’ve all heard the famous stepmonster horror stories… like that of the workings of Lady Tremaine, Cinderella’s wicked stepmother. And they don’t turn out well… for the stepmoms, that is. Luckily it doesn’t have to be that way in […]

Is there a right way and a wrong way to argue? The answer is yes. And the secret’s out. There is a right way and a wrong way to argue. Oftentimes when couples fight, it becomes husband versus wife, him against her. The issue with that, however, is that the entire sense of the “team” […]

Are you and your partner thinking outside the box when it comes to your relationship? Say you’ve been married for 20 years… Or maybe even just two years… Is the relationship still fun and fresh? Are you and your partner getting the most out of your marriage? Sometimes couples that have been together for many […]

We had our wedding, we had our honeymoon… Now what? Think about your wedding day. Whether you’ve had it, or it hasn’t happened yet… Oftentimes, and especially in a society like ours, there’s a lot of pressure to make the wedding day perfect. To make sure everything is in order, to make sure the dresses […]

Are your sleeping habits affecting your marriage? We all know sleep is important for our health. But how many of us really take into consideration the effects that a lack of sleep can have on not only our physical health, but our mental and emotional health as well? The sleeping habits that we enlist (or […]

Can you and your partner communicate without saying a word? For couples dealing with relationship problems, in many ways, actions speak louder than words. Partners often want more attention and affection from each other, and a lack of such can make them feel misunderstood or neglected. Many couples will argue about the little things because they don't know how to communicate the deeper issues. Oftentimes, relationship partners don't realize that there can be a sacred level of communication between them that comes without saying a word. When it comes to the verbal side of things, some couples get caught up on what they intended to say and the words they used, rather than understanding the impact of their non-verbal cues, like body language and tone of voice, and their actions. Sometimes frustration finds a way to creep into these situations, and especially when couples feel that they've said everything they can to make a point. Today's guest, Dr. Susan Orenstein, says there is a way to quell the anger and frustration that builds up. As a licensed psychologist and the director of Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, Susan sees a wide variety of these communication problems and strives to help couples improve their relationship without saying a word. To find out more about Susan and her practice, you can visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment.

How much time do you dedicate to your marriage? Are you taking good care of it? With busy schedules and work and family responsibilities, it becomes common for couples to focus their time on things other than the marriage. Many different factors will often effect how we end up prioritizing our time, and it's easy for a once-stable relationship to experience rockiness when it gets put on the back burner. People are surprised when their marriages collapse and die from starvation, but what they don't consider is the fact that starving a marriage takes a long time-- it does not happen overnight. Though it seems like a no-brainer, it's easy to make excuses for why there just isn't enough time to feed the marriage on a regular basis. Today's guest is Dr. Don Azevedo, a clinical psychologist with 3-C Family Services in Cary, NC. After helping couples and families for years, Don has seen it all-- including too many marriages being starved. He's here to discuss the importance of feeding and taking care of your marriage on a daily basis, as well as developing relationship growth goals that can take your marriage to a whole new level. To find out more about Don and his practice, you can visit their website or call (919) 677-0101 to schedule an appointment.

If you had all the necessary tools to improve your relationship, would you use them? Imagine you were asked to fix a leaky shower. Now, maybe you have all the proper tools and equipment but how could you possibly use them successfully if you don't have the knowledge or the skills to actually do so? What you might not realize is that you do, in fact, possess the necessary tools to improve your relationship but you just need to hone the skills required. One of the biggest relationship blunders many couples encounter is the inability to communicate effectively with each other. When communication and interaction become issues within a relationship, most of the time, the partners have a hard time expressing their individual needs clearly to the other. And when negative communication interactions and patterns develop over time, couples may begin to feel a sense of hopelessness or loss. While it might seem a little challenging at times, there are skills you can develop and work on to improve your relationship. Today's guest is licensed professional counselor Dr. KaRae Carey from Cary, NC. She helps couples and families gain an understanding of the importance of communication while providing tips and tools to begin improvement. According to KaRae, with 5 simple skills, your relationship can also improve and start to thrive. To find out more about KaRae and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 454-7857 to schedule an appointment.

Trying to avoid the same old Valentine's Day of flowers, cards, and chocolate? Look no further! Here we'll share some fun and unique ideas. As Valentine's Day rolls around, many people begin to feel pressure to make the day special for their significant other. With life being so busy, however, a lot of couples end up defaulting to something nice, yes, but predictable- a nice romantic card, dinner out, maybe some flowers and of course, chocolate. And while a night out like that is perfectly acceptable, it tends to be a bit been there, done that. The news is you can have a really fun and fulfilling Valentine's Day that is unique and fresh without breaking the bank or going crazy trying to plan something. If you're feeling frustrated or anxious about creating the perfect Valentine's Day, take some time to join us today and check out some of our great ideas for your date night. Dr. Tina Lepage from Lepage Associates is our guest, and she's sharing some new, exciting ideas for making the day enjoyable and stress-free. Local Events: February 14, 4-8pm - Capital Area Transit invites you to join the "Love Bus" event to celebrate the R-Line's 2nd anniversary. Take your date around downtown on the R-Line to receive free gifts like candy and flowers and coupons to local restaurants. Riders will also enjoy the tunes of local singing groups serenading them along the way. All attendees will be entered to win gift cards from local businesses that will be raffled off throughout the night. February 11, 12, 13&14 - The Varsity Theatre will again be hosting a special showing of 'Gone with the Wind." Tickets- $20 February 2-20 - The 11th annual NC Comedy Arts Festival January 29- March 6 - PlayMakers brings Tony Kushner's 'Angels in America,' a two-part performance February 12, 18&19 (8pm) and February 13&20 (4pm) - Cary Players presents 'Love Bits & Bites: The Sixth Sense.' Bring your sweetheart or best friend to the Page-Walker Arts & History Center in Cary, NC for a hefty serving of entertainment and sweet treats at intermission. Tickets- $17 To find out more about Tina and her practice, Lepage Associates, visit their website or call (919) 572-0000 to make an appointment.            

Do you have what it takes to create and maintain a passionate relationship? In the midst of keeping up with the demands of modern life like paying bills, maintaining a household and career and raising a family, it's easy for a couple to let go and lose sight of their once intense and deeply satisfying connection. When that goes on for too long though, it becomes harder for the couple to stay in it for the long haul. And when the spark goes out, which it is bound to do at some point, many couples settle into a functioning relationship instead of working to create and maintain a passionate relationship. In the beginning, couples make long-term commitments to each other in hopes of experiencing deeper levels of connection and passionate engagement. What they often forget, and sometimes ignore, however, is the importance of nurturing the relationship and keeping the passion alive on a daily basis and for the remainder of their lives. Today our guest is Dr. David Aspenson, a licensed psychologist who practices in Chapel Hill, NC. David is a big believer in creating and maintaining an enduring passionate relationship, and he's here to discuss some of the challenges that are associated with preserving the passion. While it seems like a no-brainer, David says it certainly is not for the faint of heart because it takes much effort. Sound intimidating? Worry not. It is, in fact, possible for all of us. To find out more about David and his practice, visit his website or call (919) 402-9212 to schedule an appointment.

It's that time of year again... What are your New Year's Resolutions? What about your relationship resolutions? At the start of a new year, many people try to set goals for themselves, their relationships, and their families. With the highest of hopes, they plan for the best and most positive possible outcomes. The problem, however, is that some people sometimes set their expectations a little too high and then become frustrated and overwhelmed when they don't accomplish everything exactly as they had planned. And then some things, like relationship resolutions, are given up on altogether. The reality is that couples and families can sometimes be overcome with all of the little things life has in store- work, kids, taking care of other family members, and other pesky responsibilities. In many cases, couples don't cherish and nurture their relationship and end up taking it for granted. They don't realize it's an entity that needs cultivating and developing just like anything else. Today, our guest, Dr. Susan Orenstein of Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC will be discussing how couples can use the New Year as a way to motivate themselves to set goals as a team. As a licensed psychologist and the director of Orenstein Solutions, Susan says it's the perfect time for couples to take stock of their relationships, clarify their goals as a pair, and come up with a good action plan for 2013. To find out more about Susan and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment. Check out Susan's Pairs Workshops here, and be sure to find out more about the PAIRS App for your iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad.

Take a second to stop and think... Are you maintaining mindfulness today? You might ask, well what does that mean exactly? The idea of mindfulness is to be present to ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually and literally in the moment. Being mindful involves focusing on your breathing and thoughts rather than projecting yourself into the future with worries and anxiety. Even though it's natural to look to the future and worry about what might happen or what could happen, it's not the best tactic for your mind. Doing so can often lead you to forget about, or concentrate less on the current moment. The moment you're living in. When life is plagued with disconnection and stress, things can get tough. Oftentimes the first things to suffer are relationships and family ties… which is why mindfulness can be so important. If couples and families learn to develop these critical skills, their communication, expression and intimacy abilities can flourish. Instead of thinking and worrying about the next fight in your relationship or the next big trip or next month's bills, take a second to stop, breath, and focus on mindfulness. Our guest today, Dr. Roz Heiko of Pediatric & Family Psychology P.A. in Cary, NC, is here to discuss some of her healing and coaching techniques. In helping people get back to a positive place in their lives and relationships, Roz encourages and teaches a level of discipline and mindful awareness. To find out more about Roz and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 858-9692 to schedule an appointment.

What's the secret to having a happy husband? What have you done for ME lately? Does that sound familiar? Chances are, that question does sound familiar. And it's often right out of the mouth of wives who also might ask- why should I be nice to you if you're not nice to me? But maybe those are the wrong questions to be asking. Sometimes, a big part of having a happy marriage is having a happy husband. More often than not, kids and careers take priority over the marriage, and husbands and wives end up becoming more like roommates instead of best friends and lovers. When couples get overwhelmed with daily life tasks and the little things turn into big things, they might feel like they have no time to nurture their marriage and each other. Sometimes they even feel hopeless about rekindling their original flame. If you are feeling like your marriage is becoming more disconnected, tense, and unhappy altogether, perhaps the first step is changing your attitude toward your husband. Today's guest is author and public speaker, Arlene Pellicane. She's been featured on shows like The Hour of Power, The 700 Club, and TLC's Home Made Simple. We'll be talking about Arlene's book, 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and she'll give us all a few pointers and tips on improving marriages that are just going through the motions. To find out more about Arlene, her books and her speaking events, visit her website here.  

How can you tell when your partner drinks too much? When does drinking become a problem? Imagine meeting someone new. You start going out on romantic dates- dates that maybe include a bottle of wine, candles, roses, the whole nine yards. Initially, the alcohol acts as an intimacy and romance enhancer. It helps you both loosen up, relax, and enjoy yourselves. But what happens when down the road the alcohol becomes toxic? Sometimes stress and tension build up and eventually it's one partner who drinks too much, too frequently. When one partner begins to develop a drinking problem, the other might start to feel like the alcohol has taken top priority in the relationship. Any little bit of consumption could start to be a bid deal, and the partners could begin to withdraw from each other, creating an even bigger issue. With communication mishaps and increased fighting, oftentimes married partners don't know how to go back and fix the issue. Today, Dr. Julia Messer is talking with us about how to handle this issue if and when it arises. As a licensed psychologist with Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, she helps couples and individuals develop practical coping solutions for many different challenging situations. To find out more about Julia and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to make an appointment.

If you were the reason for the fighting in your marriage, would you be able to admit you were the "I" in the storm? One of the biggest challenges facing couples today is their inability to truly hear one another and recognize the unhealthy communication patterns that develop over time. In many cases it starts with one partner, the "I" in the storm. This partner becomes a force in the relationship that is somewhat like the "eye" of a hurricane- the area surrounded by the most severe conditions. When negative communication patterns develop or have already been developed, the strength of the marriage can take a hit. And oftentimes it results in distance and contempt between partners. The majority of the time, all each partner really wants is for the other to understand them. But in the midst of arguing over a point, compassion and understanding can sometimes fly out the window. Leslie Petruk is a child and family therapist who joins us to discuss the the biggest predictors of divorce, but also the key to resolving communication problems within a marriage. At her practice SteppingStones Counseling and Consulting in Charlotte, NC, Leslie works to help individuals and couples build more connected and mindful lives. To find out more about Leslie and her practice, visit their website, or call (704) 335-6100 to make an appointment. Stressed out with parenting duties? Check out Leslie's website that offers tips and resources for when you're feeling overwhelmed.