Summary: We talk about how we handle first dates, how online dating has changed the definition of a first date, and what seems to have become the default first date, meeting at a cafe. Lara discusses "the best" first date location in Halifax according to The Best Of article in The Coast and we have an in depth question in listener email about staying friends after dating. - Direct MP3 Download - iTunes Subscription - RSS Feed Tweet Show Notes for episode 7 below… DDP Ep. 007 Show Notes On DDP episode numero siete we talk about… We’re both so busy, time’s flying as usual. Joel was waiting around for maintenance guys half the day and they showed up as he was getting ready to pack up and record this episode. Of course. It has been raining a bit and the fall weather is not nice right now. Today's topic is first dates. Do they cause anxiety? Are they the most fun time you’ve ever had? Joel says he doesn’t get too nervous when meeting someone from the online world, but maybe is a little more nervous if he has already met the person face to face, like at a party. So what’s the difference between meeting someone for the first time if you’ve only interacted online, or meeting up with someone you share acquaintances with? If you’ve met someone in person and you decide to go out, you already know there’s some mutual attraction. But if you meet someone you’ve only interacted with online, it’s more of a first meeting, and less of a first date. So where do you go on a first date? A cafe is an easy afternoon location, and it can turn into a walk after or a longer chat, if it’s going well. But it’s also easy to cut things short if you’re not enjoying yourself. If you’ve committed to dinner, you’re kind of stuck and it can be harder to make your escape if things aren’t going well! Lara feels like going to dinner is just too much, and a movie is a really bad idea. Leave some space for getting to know each other, but also the opportunity to get going if you’re not enjoying the encounter. Joel prefers a late afternoon coffee meeting for the first time when it’s still light out and things are casual. It’s important to feel safe and comfortable. Lara asks Joel if he would usually make a plan for a second date right away if things are going well during that first meeting. So we talk a bit about how we plan a next encounter... or let this first meeting stretch on into dinner if it’s going well! LINKS DU JOUR Lara was reading about “the Best Of” annual awards this week in The Coast, our local source for info about what’s going on around town, entertainment, music, all that good stuff. One of the categories was best place for a first date! We talk about how the winning locale is a large, generally crowded central casual rabbit warren of a restaurant/bar with poor service and bad lighting, so we’re not convinced about being able to find someone for the first time in there. Second place went to a more upscale martini bar in town, which is definitely nicer for a fancy drink, but not a great spot for dinner because they have a lot of low tables. Leaning over your food with your face down doesn’t exactly enable great conversation! Lara would have put the third place finisher, the waterfront, at that top of the list, because it’s just such a great place to wander for a chat. Not good for an entire first date, but a nice part of it perhaps in good weather. Another piece that caught Lara’s eye this week was a link via @Slate’s Twitter feed about speed dating. It summarizes a recently released 45 page study about how likely it is that you’ll get involved with or sleep with someone you meet in a speed dating setting! Neither of us has been to a speed dating event, but the research, published in the European Journal of Personality (PDF link), is kind of thought-provoking. Have you ever been speed dating? We’d love to hear about your experiences! We also play an intro to another podcast about dating,
