Beware The “All-Knowing, All-Seeing” Mentor With The Sparkling Smile

Summary: I’ve been thinking about mentors lately. Because I’m moving into teaching more and more, I’ve been reflecting on the incredible responsibility I’m taking on. And, I’ll be honest, it’s giving me the jitters. Because when others trust you to mentor them, you open them up to your “mental map”. Beliefs. Values. And so on. I know – as a mentor – I’ll hold huge influence over people. I don’t necessarily want it to be that way. But it’s the nature of mentoring. I’ve had mentors all my life. Some good mentors. Some great mentors - mentors that truly changed my life. And looking back over my life, I’ve realised on one level every mentor has been helpful. But on another level, some have been not so helpful. Let’s take copywriting as an example. It’s a subject I know well. And I know many people reading this have an interest in it. I’ve studied thousands of books on copywriting… sales… persuasion and so on. I’ve had dozens of copywriting mentors. All the big names in my industry. You name them. I’ve probably got their material. Anyway, about three years ago I was fortunate enough to be accepted into a copywriting mastermind. This mastermind is truly the pinnacle for my field. It doesn’t get any more elite than this. So it was a real honour. At the time I joined the group, I thought I was pretty hot $#$%. After all, I had scores of highly successful campaigns under my belt. I thought I’d sail through. I was wrong! Dead wrong. I struggled. Really struggled. I vividly remember the first assigned project. What a nightmare. It took 11 rewrites! I think I struggled more than anyone else in the group. It took me a while to work out why. Why I Struggled As you probably have experienced yourself, when you learn something new, you’re an empty vessel. The glass is empty. Then, via exposure to the mentor, that glass steadily gets filled with knowledge. Until it starts to reach near – but never reaching - the top. Then, if you apply the mentor’s teachings, you experience outcomes - your learnings should yield positive results. Soon those results shape your self-image. This is a double edged sword. Because once that self-image takes shape, it begins to set. For most people, it usually stays set – as solid as concrete. And they shut their mind to new experiences. To new learnings. They close their mind to the notion of doing something badly… and then using the feedback from that experience to do better next time. If this has ever happened to you, you know what I mean. But please don’t blame yourself. Or even be disappointed with yourself. Because it’s not your fault – at least not entirely. As humans we’re born with a mind that forms neurological patterns. And it takes only one emotional experience for a new pattern to form. Once it’s formed it’s so darn easy to get caught up in a loop of thoughts. Like a hamster on a wheel, round and round we go. Until it becomes habit. Know what I mean? Back to my mastermind. I discovered that I became one of those people who let their self-image set. That had formed patterns i.e. beliefs about how sales copy should be written. So I struggled and struggled. But then, once I identified my resistance, I slowly opened to the idea that I have much more to learn. I became comfortable with the notion that learning is a lifelong process. Not as an ideal. But as a living, breathing, daily practice. The Lesson So be careful whom you choose as a mentor. Your mind will fill with their “mental map of reality” through association. Whether you like it or not, you will get influenced. And that, my friend, is where the real value of a world-class mentor lies. Because with a world-class mentor you’ll understand how they think. You get insights into the questions the mentor asks to overcome challenges. The perceptions the mentor uses to filter newfound opportunities.