Summary: You will by now have had some practice at quietening the mind and will be better able to listen to your patients, family, friends +/- partner. Another way we can change the way we relate to people is changing the way we see them. We can change the way we physically see people, eg we can see more of their beauty, and we can change the way we figuratively see people eg "seeing" their strength and generosity. Again this involves taking our attention away from any distracting thoughts and turning our attention from negative ideas we have about the patient and focusing on the positives. It is often useful to consider the person in front of you and consider their history. How did they end up here? What is their social history? When I was in general practice I got to know a lot of families intimately. I saw cycles being repeated out of ignorance - the children unable to see there is a "better" way to live. I eventually became quite despondent looking at these beautiful children and thinking "They don't have a chance." I also looked at the parents and thought "If I had the same life as you, I would have ended up very similar to you." That's not to say people can't and don't break cycles - but it gave me more understanding of why some people are as they are. I looked at their lives and thought "No one would choose to live this way if they had the choice" So be generous as you look at, and listen to, your patients. Have compassion. Then consciously look for the beauty and goodness in people. Become aware they are doing the best they know how to in their circumstances. No one consciously chooses to be fat, lazy, to smoke, or drink or even abuse their children - or any of the things we look down on patients for. If they were aware they had the choice they would all be vivacious, energetic, loving, caring people. That's what all humans want. And just under the surface they are vivacious, energetic, loving, caring people. Allow yourself to see that. So start off consciously looking for the good in people, finding the fun in them, have a laugh with them. Look at how they are caring for their kids, their neighbour or their cat the best they know how to. Notice how they are trying to stay positive despite all that is going on. Keep looking for these positives with every patient encounter. They are there. Very quickly it becomes automatic to see the positives in your patients, and you become more aware of the goodness in everybody. Tell your patients what you can see, tell them about their good points. At first it will seem awkward, but quickly it becomes very easy. As you reflect this goodness back to the patient, they beome more aware of the goodness in themselves, they feel more positive about themselves and become more empowered. As they feel better about themselves they start tuning into the positiveness around them. They start reflecting that goodness back to those around them. Then they tell two friends, and they tell two friends .... Very quickly you will be having much more fun in your work, enjoying your interactions with your patients and colleagues, seeing the positive in each other, laughing and feeling you have accomplished something really good. And you have. Download audio
