Summary: Mark Goulston: Talking to Crazy<br> Mark Goulston is a Founding Member of the Newsweek Expert Forum and a Marshall Goldsmith MG100 Coach, who works with founders, entrepreneurs and CEOs in dealing with and overcoming psychological and interpersonal obstacles to realizing their full potential.<br> <br> He is the host of the My Wakeup Call podcast and was a UCLA professor of psychiatry for more than twenty years and is also a former FBI hostage negotiation trainer. One of his many bestselling books is Talking to 'Crazy': How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life*.<br> <br> In this conversation, Mark and I discuss some of the key principles that are effective in diffusing difficult or irrational behavioral. When that behavior is coming from someone who seems to be a know-it-all, we explore three steps that will help you guide them towards better behavior.<br> Key Points<br> In his book, Mark writes about know-it-alls:<br> They don’t say, “People think I’m a jerk, and I need to change my behavior.” Instead, they say, “People dislike me because they’re stupid and incompetent.” This convinces the know-it-alls that they need to double down on quashing the spirits of their victims.<br> <br> If you treat people like they are nuts are you are not, they will just bite down deeper on their thinking. Lean into their irrationality to change the dynamic.<br> Most people react to know-it-alls by becoming defensive or sullen. You’re better to take to opposite approach.<br> Start by genuinely recognizing the talents and know-it-all brings to the workplace.<br> Lead a conversation about behavior change with them by first leading with a genuine compliment about their talents.<br> Once that is established, describe how their actions are self-defeating in a way that reinforces the strength you’ve highlighted.<br> <br> Resources Mentioned<br> <br> Talking to 'Crazy': How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life* by Mark Goulston<br> My Wakeup Call podcast with Mark Goulston<br> <br> Interview Notes<br> Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).<br> Related Episodes<br> <br> How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston (episode 91)<br> How to Manage Abrasive Leaders, with Sharone Bar-David (episode 290)<br> Where You May Be Provoking Anxiety, with Erica Dhawan (episode 528)<br> <br> Discover More<br> Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
