Summary: <br> In this episode of the 5 Leadership Questions podcast, Todd Adkins and Ben Mandrell are joined by Carey and Toni Nieuwhof, author of Before You Split. They discuss the following questions:<br> <br> <br> <br> * An overview of your background* How did being in the pastorate affect your marriage and this book?* What was the transition like going from being lawyers to being in the ministry?* What was your viewpoint like as Carey's spouse?* What tips do you have on starting to attack this problem instead of watching it wither?<br> <br> <br> <br> BEST QUOTES<br> <br> <br> <br> "Leading up to my burnout there was a lot of strife in our marriage." - Carey Nieuwhof"There were times where our personal struggle was so intense that it was hard to be at church on Sundays - for both of us." - Toni Nieuwhof"At the end of the day, emotional maturity is spiritual maturity and emotional immaturity is spiritual immaturity." - Carey Nieuwhof"It was a real bone of contention between us that there was so much success outside of our home but so much tension between us." - Toni Nieuwhof"If you are winning at work, but you are losing at home, you are losing." - Carey Nieuwhof"I want the people closest to me to be the people most grateful for me." - Carey Nieuwhof"One of the problems that I've seen is the natural human tendency to be blinded by a victim narrative." - Toni Nieuwhof"The problem with the victim narrative is that it allows us to take ourselves off the hook." - Toni Nieuwhof"Leadership is so hard, our marriage was hard, and what I would do was look for the one thing I could control." - Carey Nieuwhof"Whatever you can do to bring down the conflict level and take some of the intensity out of what is going on between you relationally is a great first focus, but that's something you may need a counselor's help with." - Toni Nieuwhof"Your spouse cannot bear the weight of being your only friend." - Toni Nieuwhof<br> <br> <br> <br> RECOMMENDED RESOURCES<br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://leadership.lifeway.com/podcasts/">Lifeway Leadership Podcast Network</a><br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/coronavirus">Lifeway.com/CoronaVirus</a><br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/before-you-split-P008013305">Before You Split by Toni Nieuwhof</a><br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/didn-t-see-it-coming-P006196557">Didn't See It Coming by Carey Nieuwhof</a><br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/the-emotionally-healthy-church-updated-and-expanded-edition-P005756165">The Emotionally Healthy Church by Pete Scazzero</a><br> <br> <br> <br> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/smart-family-podcast/id1497316466">Smart Family Podcast</a><br>
