Summary: <p><a href="https://movies.disney.com/hocus-pocus" target="_blank">Hocus Pocus</a>: “Hang Him on a Hook and Let Me Play With Him!”</p><br><p>Welcome to the <a href="http://www.pbs.org/food/shows/great-british-baking-show/" target="_blank">Great British Baking Show</a>: Witch Edition! If the <a href="https://www.brostrick.com/celebrity-news/movies-reviews/best-hocus-pocus-movie-quotes-evere/" target="_blank">Sanderson Sisters</a> don’t become immortal on Halloween night, they will turn into dust! But don’t worry. According to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebadmodeler/" target="_blank">Jason</a>’s cook book, if you don’t have farm fresh witch dust, you can use non-dairy creamer, and no one will know the difference. #BareFootHotMessa</p><br><p>Regardless of the ingredients in your recipe, don’t let the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFfVaDFjeAM" target="_blank">Kurgan</a> lick the bowl; he’ll make it weird. Also, make absolutely sure that none of your lemons come from <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hindsight-is-horrifying/id1451333158?mt=2&app=podcast&fbclid=IwAR2BWe1-Pg9nIAhTq9SQwVbUkNvbuGuR3R7Jop2IHu3eXy-JmW6EJmgpfQk" target="_blank">trolls</a>, especially those who hate the sultry tones of <a href="https://twitter.com/darth_jader_" target="_blank">Darth</a> Jader.</p><br><p>Have you ever seen a <a href="https://cinemacats.com/hocus-pocus-1993/" target="_blank">cat</a> inflate after being destroyed by a city bus? More to the point, are you even living if you haven’t? Luckily, our biggest fangirl, Katie, has returned to the studio to help us answer such questions! </p><br><p>As children, we thought that <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/g23572971/hocus-pocus-cast-then-now/" target="_blank">Hocus Pocus</a> was a movie about witches. We were so naïve. This particular movie is naught but a fable to ward children against talking black cats, mouth-stitched corpses, and ANYONE who happens to be a virgin. </p><br><p>Most importantly, Hocus Pocus helps us to reiterate this lesson: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQi86oXMFkU" target="_blank">STOP READING ALOUD FROM CREEPY BOOKS</a>. </p><br><p>Despite the Sanderson Sisters being the 3 Stooges of witches, Hocus Pocus teaches us that: </p><p><br></p><ol> <li>Only <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bougie" target="_blank">bougie</a> people drink apple cider and pumpkin spice ANYTHING.</li> <li>Vacuums SUCK as flying transport.</li> <li>Passing the Man Bar is far easier than passing than actual <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohqFI8hhVaU" target="_blank">bar exam</a>. Just ask Jason. </li> </ol><p><br></p><p>Ultimately, we want to watch Bette Midler take on Emperor Palpatine in a lightening fight. Disney? *clap clap* Make it so. If you make this happen, we’ll “forget” about this “children’s movie” that focused so heavily on dead cats and sweet yabbos. We “promise”…</p><br><hr><p style="color: grey; font-size: 0.75em;"> See <a style="color: grey;" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://acast.com/privacy">acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.</p>
