Summary: <p><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101821/" target="_blank">Ernest Scared Stupid</a>: “I Sure Hope You’re From Keebler!”</p><br><p>On this delightful episode, <a href="https://twitter.com/darth_jader_" target="_blank">Darth’s</a> friend <a href="https://letterboxd.com/spectrumefp/?fbclid=IwAR2081e-CrQAPpZrTcxL4h9PDLcakn_rHNNMQZLXro6Uk2q80XHu1JMH4ok" target="_blank">Jeremy</a> (whose headstone will read “Ernest Scared Stupid ‘Expert’ #TombstoneMoment”) joins in for some Halloween fun in the studio to discuss a staple of all our childhoods, <a href="http://mentalfloss.com/article/507888/hey-vern-its-ernest-p-worrell-story" target="_blank">Ernest P. Worrell</a>.</p><br><p>For most of us, <a href="https://www.memphisflyer.com/memphis/memphis-twins-produce-jim-varney-documentary/Content?oid=20986442" target="_blank">Ernest</a> was such a constant presence in our lives that we may forget his <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Importance-Being-Ernest-Varney-doesnt/dp/1492746312/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=R3P77MJ0DM4CK2G34ZZG" target="_blank">origin story</a> from this film, which doomed him to dim-wittedness and garbage truck antics.</p><br><p>In spite of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-87t0mhZPtw" target="_blank">Ernest’s simple qualities</a>, Darth wants to vacation in the Ernest multiverse, where the rules make way more sense than in the Stephen King universe. Pennywise is all-powerful, but his powers are surprisingly random and limited. Deal with IT, Young Adam. Though <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS-RB-goZqk" target="_blank">Ernest</a> never defeated <a href="https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/51505" target="_blank">Sasquatch,</a> he and the Ninja Turtles were the only heroes cool enough to attack their enemies with pizzas.</p><br><p>For real though, <a href="https://www.nashvillescene.com/news/article/13003817/the-importance-of-being-ernest" target="_blank">Jim Varney</a> was someone that this world simply did not deserve. Thank goodness we still have Matt Smith, a.k.a the last <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSFoVTmVJlI" target="_blank">Doctor</a> that both Darth and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thebadmodeller/" target="_blank">Jason</a> mutually adore and respect. Your beloved podcasters also respect the costumers of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8124I94cwM" target="_blank">Ernest Scared Stupid</a>, who clearly made more of an effort than those of Halloweentown.</p><br><p>Naturally, we have questions about this episode and its correlating movie:</p><p><br></p><ol> <li>Why does the town sheriff have any sort of jurisdiction over the sanitation department?</li> <li>Why can’t Jason tell the difference between <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez6Xdf_p7Yg" target="_blank">The Office</a> and Golden Girls?</li> <li>Why do we even <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw2B9knw58U" target="_blank">HAVE that lever</a>?!?</li> </ol><p><br></p><p>Let us stop asking questions before the weight of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd5yB9Vmd6I" target="_blank">logic</a> crushes us beneath the shield of the paper thin plot of this movie. This won’t stop us, however, from professing our crossover theory.</p><br><p>Stick with us: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Its-Ernest-Worrell-Book-Knawledge/dp/0934319006" target="_blank">Ernest</a> is a supernatural being who was placed in this story…oh nevermind, that’s some utter nonsense that Jason would think up.</p><br><p>What we ultimately learn from this film is that <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hindsight-is-horrifying/id1451333158?mt=2&app=podcast&fbclid=IwAR0R51m7m5yEEKg48KyuodyOq7hQgxeCJ-nALBsZ6ycwFHsE3ZyetGbVBHg" target="_blank">trolls</a> are weaker than milk (powdered or otherwise), and are utterly susceptible to Ernest’s tender dancing skills. Trolls are especially weaker than the pure love and memory of <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1989-07-08-8902150724-story.html" target="_blank">Jim Varney</a>, our collective pal and beloved childhood friend. You know what we mean, Vern.</p><br><hr><p style="color: grey; font-size: 0.75em;"> See <a style="color: grey;" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://acast.com/privacy">acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.</p>
