Summary: <p><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084412/" target="_blank">Night Shift</a>: Edible paper! You Eat it, it’s Gone…Eat it, it’s Outta There!</p><br><p>Welcome to our first (and hopefully regular) menage a quad! <strong>*term trademarked by Adam Brown*</strong></p><br><p>#Hindsighters (as Katie has aptly labeled you), it’s hoes before bros on Part 1 of this brand-new type of episode. <a href="https://twitter.com/darth_jader_" target="_blank">Darth</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kate_a_em_/" target="_blank">Katie</a> challenge <a href="https://www.instagram.com/northfoggy/" target="_blank">Jason</a> and Adam Brown in a cinematic battle of the sexes!</p><br><p>Imagine a world where Batman and alternate-universe, lackluster Fonzie open a brothel to become chivalrous hustlers in their local morgue; oh, and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z57OW0gDJA" target="_blank">Batman</a> has a mental disorder where he can only sing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tT3rAo2s4s" target="_blank">Jumpin’ Jack Flash</a>.</p><br><p>This film is a classic case of cheering for an underdog. After all, what everyman doesn’t get ahead by becoming a pimp? Oh! Sorry about that. We meant to say “love broker”. </p><br><p>According to Miss Manners, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=476e_ck5H-M" target="_blank">“whore”</a> is a rude term to apply to people in the sex trade. However, a whore who <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra7z21ZTVRc" target="_blank">cooks partially naked</a> for your man is not to be trusted, especially if she was recently busted out of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUltrX-ICew" target="_blank">Night Court</a>. Here’s a pro tip from us to you, #Hindsighters: If a man refuses to pay you for services rendered, bite him on the ass. You’ll land your own ass in Night Court, but it’s totally worth it.</p><br><p>Speaking of which, Belinda might be a whore with a heart of gold, but Julia Roberts is the Disney Princess of hookers. However, Night Shift and Pretty Woman do share the important similarity that is the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA0n8nv2aUc" target="_blank">classic 80s montage</a>. During the Night Shift montage, the love brokering ladies acquire fancy clothes while Fonzie stuffs money into a coffee can. The lesson here? We all celebrate differently.</p><p>We learned some other lessons from this movie:</p><p><br></p><ol> <li>It’s okay to acquire money illegally so long as you spend your ill-gotten gains in an honorable fashion. Chuck might have pimped out some 80s ladies, but he did it to buy his dad a truly pimpin’ headstone. #Tombstonemoment</li> <li>Hooking is high-risk and generally low-reward; invest your money wisely, establish a 401K, and BOUNCE straight out of that profession before a John breaks your arm.</li> </ol><p><br></p><p>We’ve all experienced that awkward moment when underwhelming Fonzie and hooker Diane are having relationship troubles while mentally stunted <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aR5N6WCAYs" target="_blank">Batman</a> is stuck in the middle … this is just the kind of problem that can be solved by <a href="https://www.variantbrewing.com/home" target="_blank">Variant Brewing</a>, so long as you pair your beer with the correct Brendan Fraser movie.</p><br><p>Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of the Battle Royale, where we finally determine if the guys or the girls emerge victorious on a scale of Alf to Seinfeld. In the meantime, we’ll leave you with this final uplifting thought. Every time we mention <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lemon%20biter" target="_blank">autoerotic asphyxiation</a>, an <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfUV-F9jFro" target="_blank">Australian takes a shot</a>.</p><p><br></p><br><hr><p style="color: grey; font-size: 0.75em;"> See <a style="color: grey;" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://acast.com/privacy">acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.</p>
