What Latter-day Saint Youth Leaders Need to Understand About LGBT Youth | An Interview with Brittany Ellis

Summary: Interview transcript is available below Brittany Ellis grew up in Riverside, California, and realized as a young woman that she experiences same-sex attraction. She lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband of ten years and their two children and is in school studying American Sign Language interpretation. In this interview, Brittany and Kurt talk about her journey as an SSA woman and how youth leaders can better approach the subject and work with SSA youth. Highlights 10:10 Brittany’s experience realizing she is attracted to women 11:45 Buried her feelings and decided to focus on being a strong member of the Church 12:00 At age 15, admitted it to her best friends and tried talking to her bishop 13:25 Her bishop’s response did not help 14:10 Dated a lot and eventually met her husband 16:10 Experience dating her husband 17:00 Wanted to turn to her bishop for support as a youth but figured it would be useless so she tried to deal with it on her own 17:55 Loving her husband made him attractive 19:00 Didn’t talk about her SSA as a couple for seven years of marriage but eventually worked on it together and individually with the help of a therapist 20:05 The rollercoaster ride is still there but no longer includes shame 20:55 She journals and uses humor to make it easier and to manage her feelings 21:35 Her husband’s desire to learn and understand has made him a good listener and partner 23:05 We all have a void but the gospel helps fill it 24:35 Like many others, she thought she was the only woman married to a man and dealing with SSA 25:25 Her involvement with North Star International 26:00 Terrified to go to the first conference 26:55 North Star has helped her make many friends and the workshops at the conferences have been a great, always-positive resource 28:15 North Star is now doing regional activities throughout the year 30:00 Discussion of LGBT youth in the Church: 30:20 Poem she wrote at age 15 32:00 Just saying it out loud makes it real 33:25 Vulnerability hangover: it’s freeing to talk about it, but then fearful thoughts come and are overwhelming 34:40 We need to have these hard conversations at church so that we can support the youth 35:20 The vulnerability hangover still happens as an adult 37:10 Leaders need to understand that SSA is not a sin 38:10 No reason these youth cannot participate in activities in the Church and even serve a mission 38:45 As leaders, our job is to help the youth feel the Spirit, which won’t happen if they aren’t there 39:35 Important that the youth can take the lead and establish communication, and for leaders to do it if the youth aren’t ready for that 41:50 Ask them what they need from you and follow their lead 43:50 The youth don’t have a problem with their gay peers. It’s the adults who are concerned. 45:15 Experiencing SSA doesn’t mean they are perverted or attracted to everyone 47:00 Building barriers actually gives the issue power 47:45 Example of leaders and parents overreacting, but the youth weren’t uncomfortable at all 49:05 It’s good to have a connection and include the youth instead of excluding them 50:15 Example of an SSA youth with a girlfriend: establish the rules but don’t prevent them from being there and feeling the Spirit 51:45 Love them even if they aren’t making the best choices. Make the boundaries universal for all youth, not just SSA youth. 53:05 Loving the youth and being inclusive isn’t condoning. Have the awkward conversations. 55:00 It's okay to love your gay child who marries a same-sex partner. If we don’t stay connected to them, who will invite the Spirit into their life? 57:10 Easier to leave the door open for them as a youth than waiting until they are adults a...

What Latter-day Saint Youth Leaders Need to Understand About LGBT Youth | An Interview with Brittany Ellis

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