Summary: Welcome back to Six Minute Sex Ed, the podcast that helps families talk about sex and relationships. My name’s Kim Cavill. I’m a sex education teacher and I’m so glad you’re listening. I make this podcast for busy families to listen to together. Listen together, then use my conversation starters to talk about it. It's sex ed made simple. For more info about me, check out my website: https://www.teaandintimacy.com/ This episode is level two, perfect for families with teenagers, and it's all about figuring out our sexual limits. Most of us get a lot of sex from porn, movies, TV, the internet, and the people around us. Unfortunately, most of those messages aren't about negotiating sexual limits and desires, which is a fundamental part of all sexual relationships. When it comes to messages about sexual negotiations, it's mostly just silence. It's easy to make assumptions about other people when we aren’t communicating, and that’s especially true in sexual relationships. In order to communicate our limits to other people, we have to know what they are, first. I've got a great activity to help you figure that out. I’m going to list a bunch of different intimate behaviors and I want you to label each one as green light, yellow light, or red light, either out loud or in writing. Click here to follow along with me, or print out the list at home: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQVuU6zvelY1sKWWCYEouFTJRDnTT66RGiPQk0Fd4BfzcfxbTtboNYgfxbYPt3P1r7x3UsSNlRTZ5GG/pub Green light = things you want to do with a prospective partner Yellow light - things you're not sure if you want to do with a prospective partner Red light = things you definitely do not want to do with a prospective partner. Once you've gone through the list, you'll have a better understanding of your limits. The green light represent things you're comfortable doing. The yellow lights represent your "soft limits", e.g. the things you may need do to more research on, or things you need to talk through with prospective partners before going ahead. Red lights represent your "hard limits", or things that you don't want to do and aren't up for negotiation. It's important to remember that these limits can change over time. What is comfortable now may not be comfortable in the future and vice versa. Sometimes, people figure out their sexual limits when they're in the moment: what they thought they were comfortable doing feels really uncomfortable in the moment and they want to stop. That's OK. Consent can be revoked for any activity at any time with the expectation that the revocation be respected. This article is a great place to read more about sexual negotiation in long-term relationships: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/sexual_negotiation_for_the_long_haul Conversation starters: practice communicating with an imaginary partner about one of the behaviors you labeled as a yellow light or red light. Thanks for listening! Remember, if you like the podcast, support the podcast. Share it with a friend! Rate/review on iTunes and support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexpositiveparent
