Summary: <p>Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills<br> Interpersonal Effectiveness<br> Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes<br> Executive Director, AllCEUs<br> Objectives<br> ~ Define interpersonal effectiveness<br> ~ Identify barriers to interpersonal effectiveness<br> ~ Examine the goals of interpersonal effectiveness<br> ~ Review techniques for improving interpersonal effectiveness</p> <p>Definition and Goals<br> ~ Interpersonal effectiveness is the ability to ask for what you want and say no to unwanted requests<br> ~ Goals<br> ~ Get others to do things you want them to do<br> ~ Get others to take you seriously<br> ~ Effectively say no to unwanted requests<br> ~ Strengthen current relationships<br> ~ Find and build new relationships<br> ~ End hopeless relationships<br> ~ Create and maintain balance<br> ~ Balance acceptance and change<br> Barriers<br> ~ Lack of effective communication skills<br> ~ Lack of clarity about what you want from others<br> ~ Difficulty balancing your needs and the other person’s needs<br> ~ Emotions get in the way<br> ~ You sacrifice long term goals for short term relief/urges<br> ~ Other people get in the way<br> ~ Other people are more powerful than you<br> ~ Need for external validation<br> ~ Beliefs that you don’t deserve what you want</p> <p>Techniques<br> ~ Clarify priorities…How important is<br> ~ Getting what you want<br> ~ What, exactly, do you want, and how can the other person provide this.<br> ~ Feel better<br> ~ Fix it<br> ~ Know you will never leave<br> ~ Keeping the relationship<br> ~ Maintaining your self-respect</p> <p>DEAR MAN<br> ~ Describe in specific, objective terms<br> ~ Express feelings and opinions using “I” statements<br> ~ Assert<br> ~ Ask for what you want<br> ~ Don’t expect mind reading<br> ~ Reinforce by explaining the benefits to the other person ahead of time<br> DEAR MAN<br> ~ Mindfulness<br> ~ Stay focused on your goal<br> ~ Ignore diversion techniques-blaming, magnification, justification or switching topics<br> ~ Appear confident in verbal and nonverbal behavior<br> ~ Negotiate<br> ~ Offer and ask for other solutions<br> ~ Compromise<br> ~ Say no but offer alternatives<br> Keeping Relationships- GIVE<br> ~ Gentle—No attacks, threats, manipulation, judging (should, shouldn’t, moralizing), no sneering, smirking, eye rolling, name calling<br> ~ Interested<br> ~ Listen<br> ~ Pay attention to nonverbals (yours and theirs)<br> ~ Maintain eye contact<br> ~ Try to unhook from your emotions</p> <p>Keeping Relationships- GIVE<br> ~ Validate<br> ~ Pay attention<br> ~ Reflect back<br> ~ Pay attention to what is not being said<br> ~ Understand how the other person’s reactions and thoughts make sense based on their past and present<br> ~ Acknowledge the valid<br> ~ Show equality treating the other person as an equal not as fragile, incompetent or domineering<br> ~ Easy manner<br> Keeping Self-Respect– FAST<br> ~ Fair to yourself and the other person (validate both of your feelings)<br> ~ Apologies<br> ~ Don’t apologize for your feelings or opinions<br> ~ Don’t invalidate the valid<br> ~ Stick to your values<br> ~ Truthfulness<br> ~ Don’t lie, exaggerate or make up excuses<br> Asking for Something or Saying No<br> Asking for Something or Saying No<br> ~ Points to Consider<br> ~ Capability of either person to deliver<br> ~ Does it relate to a high or low priority goal?<br> ~ How will it impact your self respect to say or take no?<br> ~ What are each person’s rights and values in the situation?<br> ~ What type of relationship do you have with the person<br> ~ What is the effect of your action on your long-te</p>
