Summary: If you've ever wondered what things you can do to improve your child's behavior, you need to listen to this episode. Therapist, Mike Fitch teaches the techniques that EVERY parent needs to know. These tips work for sassy, spirited, or strong-willed children.<br> <br> Here's an overview of today's episode:<br> <br> <br> Simple Techniques to Improve Your Child's Behavior<br> or<br> Cornerstones of a Happy and Healthy Home:<br> Cornerstone One: Consistency<br> *Note: If you listened to or read the section on consistency in Episode 004, skip to the next cornerstone.<br> <br> Consistency from all who parent your child(ren) in YOUR home.<br> <br> Inconsistency among parents is EXTREMELY common. Parents often revert back to the way they were parented when they themselves become parents. Even if you didn’t like the way you were parented, it's what was modeled for you. Additionally, one parent will often be more lenient and one more strict. The longer this goes on, the more extreme each parent will be in an effort to compensate for the other parents strictness/permissiveness.<br> <br> How to become consistent in your approach.<br> <br> First, take five minutes to brainstorm a list of(not shooting down comments in this brain storm session) what you see your overall goals for your children being. It may look something like this:<br> <br> WHAT WE HOPE FOR OUR CHILDREN<br> <br> That they become happy, healthy adults<br> That they become contributing members of society<br> That they are independent people who have developed the necessary skills to move out on their own when they’re eighteen<br> Have self-confidence<br> Know that making mistakes is OK<br> <br> After your brainstorming session, circle what is most important to you. Hopefully, you will be on the same page and have a clearer vision when you are done. This is critical because, when you can see your destination, it’s easier find out how to get there.<br> <br> Consistent with your approach and with follow through<br> <br> Being consistent will teach you kids that you mean what you say and that you will follow through. It teaches them that they can't get away with things if they just keep pushing and pushing. It teaches them that you are indeed the alpha in your home, not them.<br> <br> Consistent for an extended period of time<br> “Many parents have good ideas, but try it for a week then give up. They just need to give it more time.” -Mike Fitch CMHC<br> Research shows it takes up to a month of consistency to start to see changes.. You are retraining your family. They are used to behaving a certain way and for you to be behaving a certain way.<br> Cornerstone Two: Choose a Good Parenting Curriculum to be Consistent With<br> There are so many parenting books, classes, etc. out there, it can be overwhelming! How do you know which parenting curricula are good and which are garbage?<br> <br> Here are three questions to help you select one that will be best for your family.<br> <br> Does this curriculum match the healthiest parenting style? (Read all about the healthiest parenting style here.)<br> Is this parenting curriculum free of shaming techniques?<br> <br> Shaming destroys self-esteem and has no place in the home.<br> Shame does not motivate us to do better, rather it makes us feel like we can't because WE are the problem, not our actions.<br> <br> <br> If my boss were to use the techniques I'm learning about on me, would I want to behave better?<br> <br> Here's an example:One recent parenting book recommended drawing a mark on your child's arm every time the child made a mistake. If your boss were to draw on you every time you screwed up, how would you feel and would you want to improve your behavior? You'd likely feel awful and wouldn't want to improve.<br> <br> <br> <br>
