Summary: Greetings, Crossroadies! The TXR crew is back from hiatus all refreshed and ready to kick off a new season of learning and improvement. We have been listening to your feedback and are making a conscious effort, henceforth, to keep things shorter. On today's episode our full team of hosts is on board to talk about assertiveness. Andrew and Yannis seek out the help of Yuki and Sam with their struggles with being assertive. We are also announcing the book that will be discussed on this month's book club. For more info, head to the show notes below.OpeningWelcome back!Very short (15 sec) what we’ve been up toYuki: Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, JapanSam: monthlong Japan Trip for wedding, old friends, hitchhiking experimentYannis:Yannis: Quick announcement about new time formatWeekly share: Yannis: TED Talk - Guy Winch, the case for emotional hygieneAssertiveness segueSam dealing with Chinese subways againTheme: ASSERTIVENESS!What is it?Sam: Definition: “confident and direct in claiming one's rights or putting forward one's views; given to making assertions or bold demands; dogmatic or aggressive.”Sam’s definition: “Having boundaries”Yannis: a middle point between passive and aggressive communicationYuki: Standing your ground and being firmAndrew: Making the first moveYannis: Contrast with aggressionSubmissive -- Assertive -- Aggressive spectrumWhy would you want it?Sam: Assertiveness helps you get what you want, and avoid what you don’t.Specifically, it helps you take responsibility for things that are within your control.You can’t “assertive” away a hurricane, but you can show others you aren’t willing to be pushed around, and hold your position.Yuki: Agree with Sam. Also establishes and demands respect, especially as a woman.Are you assertive? How did you get there, or why aren’t you there yet?Yannis: Working on it after realising personal frustrations when communicating with othersYuki:Yes, influenced by my mom. I used to be passive and was tired of not standing up for myself (bullying story?)Andrew: Sam: Yes. Always had inconsistent, innate confidence. Realized in Japan that nobody really cares about me, and I was free to do as I like. The world isn’t going to save me, but it’s also not trying to beat me down, so there’s no risk in standing up for myself.Assertiveness clinic!Yannis’ problem: With family, often times I feel that saying “no” or just simply disagreeing on certain views is harder than with othersYuki’s response:Sam’s response: It can be very hard to say no to people you care about. Additionally, what might be a normal “disagreement” has emotional history and charge with family. It’s important to hold your line or make your points in a way that places the focus on “you,” as opposed to “not them.” You’re not disagreeing with them; you’re agreeing with yourself.Weekly ChallengeNext time you’re in a discussion where you disagree with someone, respectfully but firmly hold your position.Weekly Call to Action (Challenge/Recommendation)Book club! Start reading The Art of Thinking Clearly, by Rolf DobelliEndingWhat’s your view on assertiveness? Are you assertive? Do you struggle with it? Let us know via e-mail, twitter, facebook, smoke signals….“Thanks for listening, and see you at the next crossroads.”Where to find usTXR Podcaste-mail us at txrpodcast@gmail.comtweet @TXRPodcastjoin the community at facebook.com/txrpodcastYukitweet @YukiPhnxinstagram @YukiPhnxAndrewBear Honey ComicSamPromises to get twitter soon(TM)Yannistweet @YannisVatisGoogle+ Yannis Vatis
