Summary: Synopsis Today's podcast was inspired by a conversation that Dr. Misner had with a trainer at the Referral Institute. The topic was how to handle it when you don't seem to be getting much back from your referral marketing efforts, even though you're giving a lot. The fact is, that when you are networking, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find Prince Charming. How do you avoid kissing more frogs than you have to? The GAINS Exchange takes you through Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills. Make sure you go through all of these with your potential referral sources, but there are two more questions that make it work. Do you have the time to invest in another professional relationship? Anyone who doesn't have time is not Prince Charming. Do you like what I do, and from what you know so far, can you envision the two of us having a referral relationship? A person who doesn't like what you do is not Prince Charming, and neither is someone who isn't willing to help. Without those two questions, you may have an interesting conversation, but you won't have a commitment. Brought to you by The Global Networking Show. Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 389 - Priscilla: Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by the globalnetworkingshow.com which is a monthly Google Hangout show hosted by Andy Lopata and Dr. Ivan Misner. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you? Ivan: I am in California today. Just finished up the Directors’ Orientation Training at headquarters. I am headed up to northern California. One of our strategic alliance partners for BNI is the Referral Institute, and I will be visiting that BNI region and the Referral Institute’s conference in the Bay area. That is important because the podcast I have today actually comes from a conversation that I had some time ago with a trainer from the Referral Institute, which is, as I said, a strategic alliance partner with BNI. It’s an unusual title, isn’t it? Kissing frogs. Priscilla: Yeah. What is that supposed to mean? Ivan: I was speaking to a Referral Institute trainer a few years ago and she told me that she often comes across people who are good at giving to others but they don’t always get an equitable return from their relationships. A lot of people want to know how to discern whether a potential referral source is a good match and what they can do to increase the likelihood that their time and their efforts are being invested in relationships that will actually harvest a positive return. So the trainer shared with me what I think is a great metaphor in what she uses to refer to referral sources that don’t pan out. She said, “When we are looking for a good relationship in life, we sometimes need to kiss some frogs to find our prince. People are searching to avoid this slippery, sloppy drawn out kisses which prolong over months, sometimes years, only to discover that the frog never really turns into a handsome prince.” How do we avoid those empty, disappointing referral relationships that turn out to be slimy frogs instead of princes. I think that some of the ways we came up with can definitely help qualify a potential referral source or alliance partner sooner rather than later. The first five questions are things that BNI members should be aware of because in BNI, we do share and we train on the GAINS Exchange. So I am going to talk about that very briefly and then there are some additional questions that make it all work, so when you are doing the GAINS Exchange, you have to wrap it up with these two additional questions, which I think will really help to determine whether somebody is serious about helping you or not. GAINS is an acronym. It stands for goals, accomplishments, interests,
