True Willpower: How to Create Change through Self-Acceptance, Desire, and the Present Moment with Kelly McGonigal

Summary: This episode’s guest is Dr. Kelly McGonigal. Kelly is a health psychologist and award-winning lecturer at Stanford University.<br> <br> A leading expert on the mind-body relationship, her work integrates the latest findings of psychology, neuroscience, and medicine with contemplative practices of mindfulness and compassion from the traditions of Buddhism and yoga. She is the author of The Willpower Instinct and Yoga for Pain Relief.<br> <br> In this episode, Kelly McGonigal and I speak about:<br> <br> Willpower<br> How to create the desire for change<br> Acceptance of the present moment versus a desire for change<br> Curiosity being a key ingredient for science as well as intuition<br> The over-masculinization of science<br> Kelly shared how she overcame a debilitating fear in her life<br> <br>  <br> <br> Tune in to listen to my conversation "True Willpower" with Dr. Kelly McGonigal.<br> Subscribe to the Emerging Women podcast on iTunes.<br> Transcript:<br> <br> Chantal Pierrat Welcome, Kelly!<br> <br> Kelly McGonigal: Hi, how are you doing?<br> <br> CP: Great! It’s so great to have you today. I’m excited about our conversation.<br> <br> KM: I am too, I’m looking forward to this.<br> <br> CP: Well, I thought we’d just launch into the concept [that] is the subject of your work, your latest book being The Willpower Instinct. The term “willpower” is just such a trigger. It’s edgy. And I was wondering if you could start by telling us what you mean by “willpower.”<br> <br> KM: I want to first even just acknowledge how edgy that word is, because it seems to imply a kind of judgment. When most of us talk about our own willpower, it’s almost always in the context of not having any. And it can almost point to a sense of lack or inadequacy, like, “I just don’t have what it takes to meet the challenges in my life or to reach my goals.” I wanted to reverse that sense that we have. I actually like using the word “willpower” now, even though it often triggers this immediate sense of, “Oh God, that’s something I don’t have. Please don’t remind me how little self-control I have.”<br> <br> When I was working as a health psychologist and a health educator, the Stanford School of Medicine would send me around to help people make behavior [changes] and talk about stress management and healthy choices. And everywhere I went, people told me they already knew what they were supposed to do and they didn’t think they could do it. In fact, they said they couldn’t do it. They couldn’t make the changes. They felt like failures at the whole self-improvement game.<br> <br> I thought, “This is something we need to radically rethink.” So many people felt like they simply did not have the inner resources to do what matters most to them, to improve their health and to find greater meaning and joy in their careers and in their family. So I’m re-staking a claim for willpower and define it as the ability to do what matters most—even when it’s difficult, even when you have self-doubt, even when you are exhausted—and to actually choose the thing that is most meaningful and important, and [access] all the resources that allow us to make that choice.<br> <br> CP: Right. Here’s a question I have: What do you think is necessary to actually create change? It’s one thing to say, “Oh, I know these things, these are good for me. I need to make this change,” and yet we don’t do it. What is that ingredient that first kicks off the action and the habits? How do we cultivate that desire for change?<br> <br> KM: I talk about four sets of strengths that support willpower. The first one is what I call “wantpower.” And it’s different than what you just said. You said, “Oh, I know this would be good for me.” How motivating does that sound? “This would be good for me.” It almost sounds like somebody else is telling you what you should do. Wantpower,