Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Summary: Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard Ostler (twitter: @papaostler) and am a native of Salt Lake City. I have degrees from the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (business). I married my best friend and eternal companion Sheila Juergens of Houston, Texas in 1990 and we are the parents of six children and two grandchildren and live near Cottonwood High School in Salt Lake City. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. The name ‘Papa Ostler’ resulting from being introduced to Twitter by my High School age son Matt in 2010. I wanted the high school age youth to know I wasn’t their age as I interacted with them … hence the name Papa Ostler. I served as a YSA Bishop in the West Valley City/Magna area of Salt Lake (released in 2016) and met some of the finest people I will ever know. In addition to meeting with wonderful active members of my Ward, I reached out and connected via social media (mostly via the private messaging features of FB and Twitter) with many of our inactive members and their non-member friends. Over time, many felt comfortable meeting with me and sharing their stories. Through hundreds of interviews and ‘listening to understand’, I was able to ‘see’ the church from the eyes of those on the outside. Many feel the church is their ‘spiritual home’ but feel uncomfortable attending for a variety of reasons such as work-in-progress testimonies, concerns about church history, feeling unworthy because of past or current sin, don't fit the cultural mold, role of women, are LGBTQ and/or feel God's LGBTQ childen should be more welcomed in our congregations, etc. This podcast is designed to 'Have a Conversation' about some of the more complicated issues in our church to help all of us 'listen, learn and love' so we can minister in a more effective way to all of Heavenly Father’s children. Most podcasts will be from our LDS LGBTQ friends to give them voice so we can better understand their road, touch their cross, learn from them, and minister to them as directed by President M. Russell Ballard when he said 'Mormon leaders, along with the rank and file, need to listen to and understand what LGBT members are feeling and experiencing (Nov 2017 BYU Devotional).' Some podcasts will be from LGBTQ allies sharing their experiences and how to be helpful. Other podcasts will be from guests talking about other complicated topics such as mental health, returning from a mission early, overcoming sin, and faith challenges. Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening. With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤ email@example.com *I respond to your e-mails. Check your spam folder*
My friend Daniel joins me in Philadelphia to share his journey converting to the Church and then serving a mission. Daniel’s emotional health deteriorated on his mission leading to thoughts of suicide and self-harm. Daniel returned to Philadelphia after 9 months. During the next nine months , Daniel’s emotional health further deteriorated with constants thoughts on suicide and self-harm. Daniel is doing much better and shares how he was able to ‘walk out of this desert’ because of therapy, medication, great friends and local leaders. If you are suicidal or want to help someone, please listen as Daniel bravely shares his story. Daniel also shares why he stays a committed member of the Church. Thanks for being on the podcast Daniel. You are one of my personal heroes. You have a great life ahead of you!
My friends Kyle and Reece Jacobsen (RMs from Moscow Russia and Ventura California, respectively) share their journey as gay Latter-day Saints. They eventually felt their path was a same-sex marriage and stepped away from the Church. They are respectful of the Church and are please it works for others. They share how their active LDS families navigated this road and the great support they had at their wedding and going forward. They are both close with their families which is consistent with Church teachings to keep the family circle together. Great job to Kyle’s parents Hugh and Margaret and Reece’s parents Kent and Marilyn. Thanks for being on the podcast Kyle and Reece and your contributions to society. You are good men who are worthy of our support and friendship as you make your way forward.
My friend Mayor Jon Pike shares his thoughts about our LGBTQ friends including a former missionary companion and a cousin. As mayor of St. George, Jon shares his desire to ‘be the Mayor for everyone’. With that charge, he shares learning about LGBTQ member of his community and what he and his team is doing to meet their needs. He talks about allowing pride flags during this summer pride festival and the community discussion that followed. Jon shared some thoughts in his FB post on Sept 17th: https://www.facebook.com/jon.pike.988/posts/10214245372195049 Thanks for being on the podcast Mayor Pike and all the good you are doing in our community to create a feeling of love, respect and inclusiveness.
My friend Stephen Lambert shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Stephen got married and together they raised 5 children. Stephen came out to his former wife 6 years ago and their marriage ended. Stephen no longer participates/believes in the Church but is respectful and glad it works for others. Stephen has great insights on mixed-orientations marriages (many do work) our single members considering a mixed-orientation marriage. Stephen also has helpful insights into how to better minister to our LGBTQ members. As Director of Pride of Southern Utah, Stephen manages the St. George Pride Festival (3rd week of September) in its 4th year with over 3,000 attending. Stephen talks about this ‘family friendly’ event and how it is helping to bring the community together and help our LGBTQ community members. Thanks for being on the podcast Stephen and all the great work you are doing.
My friend Dr. Tim Hollingshead shares his story of being a YSA Bishop (St George area) helping the YSAs overcome porn. Tim went on a deep dive realizing that he lacked all the tools needed to meet his YSA needs. After Tim was released he started freein13.com to help people escape the trap of pornography. If you are working to solve porn or are trying to help others, please listen to this podcast and go to freein13.com. This is an inspired program to help solve this challenge. I wish I had these resources during my YSA assignment. Thanks for being on the podcast Tim and all your great work to help and bless others.
My friends David (Psychology major at BYU) and Jordyn (Dental Hygienist major at UVU) share their journey with scrupulosity. Since they are walking this road, they have great insights to help others. The have started an Instagram account about their story @scrupcrew (please follow to learn more). Thanks for being on the podcast and bravely sharing your story. You two are awesome and are helping so many!
My friends John and Jenny Dye share their work with the #LightTheWorld initiative (including the new elements announced for 2019), John’s work on the Mormon and Gay web site (https://mormonandgay.churchofjesuschrist.org/) and Jenny’s great podcast called Mormon News Report (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mormon-news-report-podcast/id1258689254). Wonderful efforts to help us Come unto Christ through our restored Church. Thanks for being on the podcast John and Jenny. You two are awesome!
My friend Marian Bergin, age 84 in December, shares her insights of being a parent of two gay sons and a grandmother of a gay grandchild. Marian (who was a social worker) has great insights into how being LGBTQ is not a choice and what LDS parents can do to ensure healthy choices for their LGBTQ children. Marian expresses her wish for an event that she believes could improve the culture of our Church for our LGBTQ members and what we can do to improve the culture of the Church for our LGBTQ members. Thanks for being on the podcast, Marian. It was an honor to hear your story and your multiple decade perspective on this topic. Thanks for all the ways you service to help our Church and society do better. You are one of my new heroes.
My friends Brett and Becky Barney, who drove from Nebraska, share their experiences related to Brett's same-sex attraction. Both in their 50’s and married for 32 years, Brett shares why he decided to come out to Becky about 3.5 years ago and how their marriage is stronger than ever. It is a beautiful love story. Brett (EQ President) and Becky (RS Presidency) talk about why they publicly share their story in their Stake and with friends and their deep commitment to our restored Church. You will enjoy this podcast as Brett and Becky have great insights into successful marriages, role of loving Heavenly Parents and the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and talking about sensitive subjects in a faithful way. Thanks for being on the podcast. You two are awesome. Brett can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and Becky at email@example.com
My friend Kyle Friant bravely shares his story growing up in central Utah, serving a mission in Bulgaria (coming home after 8 months), being home, going back out and serving in Pittsburg (coming home after 3 months), confronting being gay, and almost leaving the church. Kyle, who wrote 20 resignation letters but never sent them in, takes about why he decided to come back to Church and is now a committed member. It’s a remarkable story. Thanks for being on the podcast Kyle. You are one of my new heroes. You have a great life ahead of you and will do so much good in our church and society to help others.
My friends Tim and Aubrey Chaves (parents of 4 children) talk about their faith crisis/transition and why they stay active LDS. It’s a beautiful story. They also share creating a feeling of belonging at church, their role with Faith Matters (check out https://faithmatters.org/), wonderful gifts of a faith crisis and conclude with Tim’s journey with scrupulosity. If you are in a faith crisis and want to stay in the Church (or are helping others stay), please listen to this podcast. Tim and Aubrey have incredible insights and a wonderful testimony of our beautiful restored doctrine. You can read from Tim at https://timchaves.com/. Thanks for being on the podcast, Tim and Aubrey. You two are awesome and give me hope for the future of our Church and society. Thanks for all you are doing to bless and help others.
My friend, Dillan Conrad, active LDS, straight LGBTQ ally, and married father of two boys, bravely shares his personal story of being a man who has never enjoyed "typical male things" and who has spent many years coming to terms with his negative self body image. Dillan also shares about serving as a full time missionary in Houston, TX. He tells of “rescuing the one” with Catharine who he stayed in contact with after his mission and spoke at her funeral. Thanks for being on the podcast Dillan. Our church is better off with you as a member. Best wishes to you, your wife and your family.
My friend Mike Ramsey, married father of 4, joins us to talk about his new book published by Cedar Fort called ‘My Dad’s a Muslim, My Mom’s a Lesbian, and I’m a Latter-day Saint’. You can purchase the book at: https://mikeramsey.org/book-my-dads-a-muslim-my-moms-a-lesbian-and-im-a-latter-day-saint/. It will also be purchased as Deseret Book, Seagull Book or Amazon. Mike shares growing up without a father in his life and a lesbian mother. Mike became active in the Church, served a mission, and along with his life Hilary, are raising a family. Mike shares staying close to his mother Janet and her life partner Tina. It’s a beautiful love story of navigating complicated family dynamics to keep the family circle together. If you have LGBTQ people in your life, would like to minister to them, or are LGBTQ, I encourage you to read Mike’s book. Wonderful insights and gospel principals.
My friend Sister Ganel-Lyn Condie (author of 7 books and over 800 speaking engagements) joins us to talk about her ‘Come Follow Me’ YouTube series (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa4odUWX7xWihiuGD4OujAQ), ‘Why I Stay’ (in the Church, Marriage and Body), her new podcast call ‘The Reconnect Podcast’ (https://www.facebook.com/thereconnectpodcast/) and insights in our millennial members. Thanks for being on the podcast Ganel-Lyn and all your great work to bring hope to some many through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
My friend Annette Tidball joins us to talk about her new book ‘Fly Again’ (on Amazon) about the tragic death of her husband Brian in their mid-30’s following 10 years of marriage with 4 kids at home. Check out her book at: https://www.amazon.ca/FLY-AGAIN-Want-You-Live-ebook/dp/B07ZPSWPMT/ Annette has wonderful insights to help others dealing with a tragic death and what we can do to minister to those on this road. Annette also talks about why she decided to write this book which I encourage our listeners to read. Thanks for being on the podcast Annette for bravely sharing your journey. We appreciate your courage, faith, and example.