A Beautiful Mess

A Beautiful Mess - Catlin Allen: The Power of Story in Transforming Our Lives Today I got to sit down with my dear friend Catlin for his second appearance on ABM. Catlin has been my friend, mentor and teacher in so many aspects of my life, and since meeting him when I was 12, he’s truly transformed my life for the better. I can’t wait for you all to hear his wisdom, and our dialogue on how Stories shape us, how iron sharpens iron, and how language truly matters in communicating beliefs. But even beyond what we agreed on, I’m excited for you all to listen to us sit in the space of having differing opinions and views on certain subjects, and navigating those moments with an open mind and willingness to be wrong. I learned a lot from this conversation and I’m so glad I get the privilege of sharing it with you. I hope you all enjoy, and as always thank you so much for listening. I have recently come to the realization that being on Instagram has in the last year, become more negative than positive for me, and so after a year of mulling it over, I’ve come to the realization that for now, I need to step away from my @happyandhealthy96 instagram account. Many of you know that I’m going back to school and that my focus is going to be directed there moving forwards, so it’s what made the most sense and felt the most natural for me. There are definitely aspects of connecting over instagram that I miss but by and large, I’ve felt much more connected to the people in my life, and much more at peace and present. Thank you all for your continued support over these years, I’m truly so grateful, and who knows maybe I’ll run into some of you in real life one day and get to give you a big hug. Anyways… that’s all for now! If you want to connect with Catlin which I definitely recommend you do, you can find him on instagram @catlinallen. And I’ll talk to you all in the next episode! XX

Today I’m joined by the incredible Kate Horseman. I’ve admired her from a far for so long and she’s inspired me in my own journey of self care endlessly. I sat down with her at her Downtown office for an incredible conversation about recovery, what comes after recovery, her own personal story, shame, and so much more. I loved hearing her thoughts and I’m so excited to share her wisdom with you all. I apologize for the mediocre audio, my mic was set on the wrong setting, but hopefully it doesn’t bother you guys too much. (I promise it’ll be better next episode!) I hope you all enjoy this episode and Kates words, and if you have any questions please message me on instagram @happyandhealthy96. If you’re loving Kate and what she’s all about definitely follow her on instagram @katehorsemannutrition or find her at her website katehorseman.com As always, thank you for listening. Much Love, Steph. X

Today I’m joined by my amazing friend Kristen, and she shares her story of struggling with disordered eating, orthorexia, obsessive exercise and so much more. I’m so excited to be sharing this conversation with you all. Kristen was so brave in being open and honest, and sharing her most vulnerable self with me and all of us, and I personally gained so much from listening to her experiences and sharing my own thoughts on these topics. This topic is so near and dear to my heart, because I know how much of my life, and how much joy disordered eating has stolen from me. But I’m also painfully aware of how common an unhealthy relationship with food and our bodies is in our world today. It really is a life mission of mine to devote my energy into doing all I can to push back against the cultural norms around beauty and worth that are propagated in our society. I hope the thoughts and sentiments we share in this episode can remind those of you who are struggling with food or accepting your bodies, of how worthy and enough you really are, but that also you are NOT alone. So so many of us have and do struggle just like you, and for me the work of self love, self care and self acceptance is something I wrestle with everyday, but everyday I become more resilient and more comfortable in my own skin. I truly hope you enjoy, and if you have any questions please message me on instagram @happyandhealthy96. Also a HUGE thank you to Kristen for sharing her heart with all of us. Find her on instagram at @kristenmara. As always, thank you for listening. Much Love, Steph. X

Life Update: I'm going back to school. That's really all that needed to be said, but apparently when I turn on the mic and just let myself talk, what happens is a ramble for an hour, tell you my story of doing magic mushrooms and go on a zillion different tangents. This episode is 100% unedited raw audio, so if you're not into long pauses, coughing fits, and me getting lost in my own confusing trains of thought, maybe skip this one. All in all, so glad to be back in the recording studio, aka my laundry room. Much love, Steph.

Hi Dad, I know we've had our difficulties and misunderstandings, but I love you, and I'm so grateful for you. --- Hope you guys enjoyed this episode, it was a little different from what I usually post, but I really felt like this conversation was a long time coming, and I know that many of you can relate to the difficulties I've had with my dad, so hopefully sharing this can help just one another person relate with their family members. Much Love, Steph. PS if you have any questions DM me @happyandhealthy96

A Beautiful Mess- On Being Sad I’ve been feeling sad the last few days, so naturally I thought I’d turn on my mic and chat about with you all ahah. I hope you all enjoy! If you have any questions send me a message on instagram @happyandhealthy96 And as always, thanks for listening. This is a piece I wrote on being sad for instagram, thought I’d share it here as well. I have a naturally sunny, happy disposition, so though I often move through life with a smile, I, like most people experience times of sadness. I’ve been feeling kind of sad the last few days so I just want to chat about it with you all. Sadness is one of our 6 basic emotions (fear, happiness, surprise, disgust, anger & sadness) & they all serve a valuable purpose both evolutionarily speaking & in our ability to live a meaningful life. Feeling all these emotions is a natural part of life & being human. The etymology of the word emotions comes from the latin term EMOVERE which means moving or movement. And it’s such a great way of understanding our emotions as dynamic & in flux. They come & go like waves, so holding onto one particular emotion or trying to avoid another is futile. We’ve been taught by society that certain emotions are better than others & that we should try to avoid the “negative” emotions. But in doing so we rob ourselves of a beautiful part of life. The contrasts & polarities that exist are what give this life greater meaning. Our times of sadness are what give our joy more richness & depth, our experience of unease give our moments of peace that much more magic. In Buddhist philosophy life is suffering & it’s Inevitable that we feel pain, get hurt, rejected, experience loss, heartache etc. And looming over us constantly is this existential angst of understanding the meaning of life & why we’re here. But though it’s tempting to want to close ourselves off from feeling pain, there’s no selective numbing that allows us to only choose certain emotions. when we numb ourselves to pain, sadness, suffering, We end up losing touch with our ability to truly feel joy, love & wonder. The greatest purpose these different emotions have served in my life is that they bring more colour, shape, texture, & meaning to my experience of life. They give context & provide a greater understanding for mine & other peoples feelings. And when we can let ourselves surrender to what we’re feeling in an honest manner, let that emotion move through us, and allow ourselves to feel without needing to justify our necessarily understand why - it can be like a wave, that reaches its peak, then washes over us- eventually dissolves into the sand. Leaving us open to learning from it, growing, & feeling grounded & balanced within ourselves. In the case of sadness, I personally think it motivates us to take stock and reflect on our lives, and oftentimes move forward with renewed goals, clarified direction and better understanding of ourselves and what matters to us. Sadness communicate to me what I’ve been neglecting, what I really love and helps me prioritize what will bring me fulfillment. And by understanding and accepting our internal experience of sadness, we are validating ourselves. This self-validation is almost like a huge sigh of relief to me. It helps me feel accepted by myself (we are often our harshest critics) and that I’m fine just the way I am, and not in need of being “fixed.” It helps me feel at peace with knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be, and that everything is- eventually- going to be okay.

A Beautiful Mess - Pastor Dean on Self Worth, Radicle Love & The Power of Prayer My wonderful friend and Pastor, Dean makes a return to the Podcast for an incredible conversation on Love, the Divine, Embracing Change, Prayer, and so much more. Hope you all enjoy! And if you have any questions please message me on instagram @happyandhealthy96. You can also find Dean on instagram @deaner. As always, thank you for listening. Much Love, Steph. X

If you haven't listened to my podcast episode with Akeem, you can listen to it here. Akeem from episode 7 returns to the podcast for a casual but very inspiring conversation. We just turned on the mic, started asking each other questions, exploring emotional weight, how we deal with bad days, and so much more. Leave a review of the podcast if you’re enjoying it. And as always thank you for listening. If you have any questions message me on Instagram @happyandhealthy96 xo

Todays conversation is a deep dive into Hillary McBride’s world of work as a Therapist, Researcher, Author & Speaker specializing in the field of Embodiment, body image, mother-daughter relationships, and how to live a more full life. We explore Eating disorders, the process and concept of loving ourselves and our bodies, the process of healing, and really at the end of the day - what it means to be human. This is one of my favourite conversations of all time and Hillary has quickly become one of my biggest mentors and inspirations in my life. If you’re interested in learning more about Hillary definitely check out her website and blog at http://hillarylmcbride.com/. And if you’re interested in reading her book, you can find it on Amazon here: Mothers Daughters, and Body Image.

Zach and I got to sit down with the incredible Lauren Toyota from Hot For Food for an impromptu therapy session aha and to discuss her new (INCREDIBLE) cookbook Vegan Comfort Classics. It was such a pleasure talking to and getting to know Lauren, I truly just admire her so much for her honesty and audacity. Check out her book here: https://www.hotforfoodblog.com/cookbook/ https://www.hotforfoodblog.com/ And as always, if you have any questions DM me on Instagram @happyandhealthy96. Thanks so much for listening, and talk to you guys soon, Steph. XX

A Beautiful Mess - Faith, Vulnerability & Spirituality Without Borders (with Dean Morris & Zach Berman) This week I’m joined again by my impromptu informal co-host Zach Berman (my episode with Zach if you haven't listened to it yet is here ) and our mutual friend Dean Morris. Strictly going by job labels and societal identification, Dean is a pastor, but it’s clear to me as he’s sitting across from Zach and I as a man in his mid 30’s with two daughters in a forest green sweater, Lululemon pants, and a Patagonia toque that he’s not your average pastor.  This was indefinitely a conversation about faith. But not faith in the conventional term. I’m the first to say that I am a spiritual seeker who’s always learning and growing and eager to find the message of love and mystery anywhere in any form it appears. And today with Dean, we explore the Bible and the life of Christ. For anyone out there who might cringe just by hearing the word Jesus, Christianity or even just religion, please just listen to the end and stay open minded. I’m personally not religious, but I took so much away from this conversation with Dean and learnt so much about the true pure origins of Christianity and can now whole heartedly say I think Jesus was an incredible enlightened inspiring human, and modelling a life based on how he lived is something that I think we could all benefit from. My co host Zach summed up this conversation beautifully, not only is this just three people talking about life and what it means to be human, it’s primarily a dialogue about “love, peace, vulnerability and spirituality with our borders.” Alright, hope you all enjoy and dont forget if you have any questions to send me a message @happyandhealthy96 on instagram. And as always, thank you for listening. If you missed my episode with my co-host Zach Berman you can listen here: http://stephyu.com/podcast/2017/11/2/a-beautiful-mess-zach-berman-co-owner-of-juice-truck-on-travel-community-gratitude-more And check out Dean on Instagram @deaner

A Beautiful Mess- Letting go of Shame & Knowing our Worth with Katie McKenzie This conversation is about as raw and unfiltered as it gets, and it truly left me so inspired and excited to share it with you all. Katie is truly a powerhouse of vulnerability and had me crying more than once during the episode. We covered so many topics from shame/guilt, to mental health in general, body image, relationships/love, self-love, knowing our own inherent worth, and the illusion of needing to do our passion for our work. But at the end of the day, it was just an honest and open conversation between two individuals on their own personal experiences living and struggling through this beautifully messy life. I'm just so blown away by the humility, strength and love that Katie embodies and I can't wait for you all to get to know her too. Also just as a side note, I was extremely stuffed up while recording this so I apologize for the nasally voice and constant sniffling, ahah. Hope you all enjoy regardless, and as always I love hearing your feedback so message me on instagram @happyandhealthy96 with any questions or comments. And to keep up with Katie's adventures, find her on instagram @ktcakes03 Thanks so much for listening, Much Love, Steph. XX

I’m so excited to share this episode with you guys, it’s one that’s been a while in the making and something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Today I’m joined with two of my best friends Anna and Zack to dive deep into the connection and the conversation around spirituality and being vegan we explore the disconnect that can often exist between people in the spiritual community and eating a vegan diet. But at the end the day we really just have an honest dialogue on how we can all be more kind, more patient, more present & more loving in our every day lives. We really had fun and let the conversation flow and go wherever it wanted to go and at the end the day we covered far more than I had planned. We talked about parenting and the spirituality of being a parent, we talked about how we practice mindfulness and we talked about how it’s always a practice and there’s never an end destination to strive for. Some thing that I think sums it up perfectly is: practice makes practice there is no such thing as practice makes perfect because there’s always more to learn more to improve and more to practice. I truly hope you guys enjoy this episode and let me know if you have any questions or any opinions that you want to share, and if there are differing opinions I’d love to hear them I’m always open to constructive criticism and hearing different perspective so shoot me a direct message on Instagram if you’d like to chat. thanks as always for listening and talk to guys soon. And if you guys wanna learn more about Anna, she’s a mother of two an animal rights lawyer and activis,t and just a truly kind human being, but for more on Anna here’s a link to her site. And if you missed my podcast episode with Zach, it’s episode #16. And to follow both of them on social media their handles on Instagram are at @zacktuck and @easyanimalfree. Much love, and as always thank you for listening, Steph. XX

This episode is all around being imperfect, flawed, messy human beings, and around accepting the Mystery that is - Life. I hope you all enjoy and get something out of it! Thank you all so much for listening, and as always, let me know your feedback by sending me a message on instagram @happyandhealthy96, or leaving a review on Itunes. Much Love, Steph.

I go in depth in this episode on my recent 10 Day Vipassana Meditation Course Experience. I hope you all enjoy! If you have any other questions surrounding my experience DM me on instagram @happyandhealthy96! Thanks so much for listening XO The song referenced in the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJVnqjCaMsk