Better Sex

Sex in the elder yearsIn today's episode, we look at sex and sexuality in the elderly. It is a common misconception that people are no longer sexually active as they grow older and Dr. Flores will be sharing her thoughts on this with us so enjoy the insights!Is sex (and sexuality) common in the elderly?Dr. Flores shares her findings that elderly people are still sexually active after 75. She reveals her statistics about masturbation even as they experience lifestyle changes.Tune in to hear about what men and women experience sexually as their bodies and needs change. She shares ways to work with changing sexual needs as people get older.With the flood of sexual stereotypes being sown in society, Dr. Flores points out the unrealistic expectations this creates for both young and old alike and highlights the reality that the elderly still have a sexual appetite and need despite what is commonly believed.Join in to hear what some of Dr. Flores’s findings are with sexually transmitted diseases and their frequency among the elderly, this may surprise you!Privacy challenges for older people in nursing homesThe question of privacy in nursing homes is brought up. Dr. Flores tackles this candidly with a few interesting examples of why this is a problem. In her examples, dementia and Alzheimers come up and a few key issues are raised.She believes that individual homes are slowly moving in the direction of revisiting policies so that the elderly can someday freely engage in consensual sex but it is not being addressed on a national level.The fine line between protection and freedom for the elderly is brought up within this discussion so you can examine the challenges brought up with and without privacy.Some advice from Dr. Flores is to find out what nursing facilities policies are around sexuality to ensure that you choose the right one for your loved one.About Dr. FloresRenee Flores, M.D., is a board-certified physician in the field of geriatrics and internal medicine with 10 years of clinical experience. She provides comprehensive care for primarily older adults, as well as internal medicine patients.Recognizing that sexual health and emotional health are a salient part of comprehensive health care, she has expanded her role as an educator and sexuality and intimacy counselor. She works in collaboration with patients to address sexual desire, pain, performance, intimacy and relationship challenges.Dr. Flores’ work includes clinical interaction, individual and couples counseling, as well as education. She is actively involved in teaching medical students, residents, physicians, and people in the community. She is devoted to life-long learning and has an endless passion to continue education and training in the field of sexual health medicine.How to reach Dr. FloresVisit her at her Sexual Health clinic in Texas or Houston andhttps://www.utphysicians.com/provider/renee-j-flores/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at

Sex in the elder yearsIn today's episode, we look at sex and sexuality in the elderly. It is a common misconception that people are no longer sexually active as they grow older and Dr. Flores will be sharing her thoughts on this with us so enjoy the insights!Is sex (and sexuality) common in the elderly?Dr. Flores shares her findings that elderly people are still sexually active after 75. She reveals her statistics about masturbation even as they experience lifestyle changes.Tune in to hear about what men and women experience sexually as their bodies and needs change. She shares ways to work with changing sexual needs as people get older.With the flood of sexual stereotypes being sown in society, Dr. Flores points out the unrealistic expectations this creates for both young and old alike and highlights the reality that the elderly still have a sexual appetite and need despite what is commonly believed.Join in to hear what some of Dr. Flores’s findings are with sexually transmitted diseases and their frequency among the elderly, this may surprise you!Privacy challenges for older people in nursing homesThe question of privacy in nursing homes is brought up. Dr. Flores tackles this candidly with a few interesting examples of why this is a problem. In her examples, dementia and Alzheimers come up and a few key issues are raised.She believes that individual homes are slowly moving in the direction of revisiting policies so that the elderly can someday freely engage in consensual sex but it is not being addressed on a national level.The fine line between protection and freedom for the elderly is brought up within this discussion so you can examine the challenges brought up with and without privacy.Some advice from Dr. Flores is to find out what nursing facilities policies are around sexuality to ensure that you choose the right one for your loved one.About Dr. FloresRenee Flores, M.D., is a board-certified physician in the field of geriatrics and internal medicine with 10 years of clinical experience. She provides comprehensive care for primarily older adults, as well as internal medicine patients.Recognizing that sexual health and emotional health are a salient part of comprehensive health care, she has expanded her role as an educator and sexuality and intimacy counselor. She works in collaboration with patients to address sexual desire, pain, performance, intimacy and relationship challenges.Dr. Flores’ work includes clinical interaction, individual and couples counseling, as well as education. She is actively involved in teaching medical students, residents, physicians, and people in the community. She is devoted to life-long learning and has an endless passion to continue education and training in the field of sexual health medicine.How to reach Dr. FloresVisit her at her Sexual Health clinic in Texas or Houston andhttps://www.utphysicians.com/provider/renee-j-flores/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at

Frank was raised in a conservative home that placed a noose of fear and shame around sex. After a decade of fantasizing about sex, Frank married in his late 20’s and recalls the awkwardness about it. Sexuality was a very taboo topic in Frank's life and this carried into both his marriages.Nancy had issues of her own as well. Being a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 5, Nancy felt dirty and ashamed as a child. Her first sexual experience made this worse and led to her having a reputation for being a tease and mastering manipulation to maintain her power.Being PartnersNancy eventually shared her sexual history with Frank and things began to make sense in context for him. He then understood what Nancy went through and together they made an effort to make their relationship a safe place for them to be intimate.They believe they were the perfect storm but share that their commitment was what kept them together. Join us to hear Frank's opinion on the main tool that molded their broken relationship into a healthy one.The EffortNancy shares Franks total commitment to her even when she pushed him away and the meticulous detail he put into making her comfortable. Her endearing reference to him as her coach describes her feelings for him.Frank shares his experience at Nancy’s side as she persisted to try and improve their intimacy. He emphasizes the factors of the positive environment he believed, that set Nancy free.SetbacksAfter a painful pelvic surgery, Nancy had to endure a six month recovery period which meant that sex was off the table. The couple, however, tells us about how they made lemonade out of the lemons of life’s curve balls yet again.EmancipationTune in to hear Frank's personal struggles and the guilt that he carried for over twenty years. He reveals his journey to becoming comfortable with Nancy about taboo topics like porn and the emancipation they both experienced when he was finally able to share his sexuality with his lifetime companion.This milestone for Frank was a welcome surprise for Nancy who felt a sense of familiarity after watching other women in their most vulnerable moments.TodayFrank and Nancy have shared a 30-year journey together. They tell us about what their sex life is like today, after years of diligent effort. Listen in to hear how their love for each other has evolved and matured to offer them a deeper connection.Their valuable advice to couples is to hang in there, talk a lot and listen with an open heart.More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Frank was raised in a conservative home that placed a noose of fear and shame around sex. After a decade of fantasizing about sex, Frank married in his late 20’s and recalls the awkwardness about it. Sexuality was a very taboo topic in Frank's life and this carried into both his marriages.Nancy had issues of her own as well. Being a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 5, Nancy felt dirty and ashamed as a child. Her first sexual experience made this worse and led to her having a reputation for being a tease and mastering manipulation to maintain her power.Being PartnersNancy eventually shared her sexual history with Frank and things began to make sense in context for him. He then understood what Nancy went through and together they made an effort to make their relationship a safe place for them to be intimate.They believe they were the perfect storm but share that their commitment was what kept them together. Join us to hear Frank's opinion on the main tool that molded their broken relationship into a healthy one.The EffortNancy shares Franks total commitment to her even when she pushed him away and the meticulous detail he put into making her comfortable. Her endearing reference to him as her coach describes her feelings for him.Frank shares his experience at Nancy’s side as she persisted to try and improve their intimacy. He emphasizes the factors of the positive environment he believed, that set Nancy free.SetbacksAfter a painful pelvic surgery, Nancy had to endure a six month recovery period which meant that sex was off the table. The couple, however, tells us about how they made lemonade out of the lemons of life’s curve balls yet again.EmancipationTune in to hear Frank's personal struggles and the guilt that he carried for over twenty years. He reveals his journey to becoming comfortable with Nancy about taboo topics like porn and the emancipation they both experienced when he was finally able to share his sexuality with his lifetime companion.This milestone for Frank was a welcome surprise for Nancy who felt a sense of familiarity after watching other women in their most vulnerable moments.TodayFrank and Nancy have shared a 30-year journey together. They tell us about what their sex life is like today, after years of diligent effort. Listen in to hear how their love for each other has evolved and matured to offer them a deeper connection.Their valuable advice to couples is to hang in there, talk a lot and listen with an open heart.More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Social Media is making sex obsolete.Dr. Stephen Snyder shares a shocking statistic that reveals the drop in the sexual interaction between people. He unpacks his very interesting theory on why this is. In this episode, you will hear about why people have sex and the influence of social media and technology on their motivation to engage sexually.He talks about ‘Healthy Narcissism” as children and its return during sex, both of which he describes as normal. Listen in to hear him connect the dots between what social media offers and celebrity narcissism- “What we used to get from sex, we now get it from lots of places.” When describing how we interact with devices, he refers to an Infantile Narcissistic State that wants everything but gives nothing.How long should sex last?Listen in to find out what Dr. Snyder considers the appropriate length for sexual engagement. He touches on porn and its influence on what people perceive as perfect. Again, technology affects what we come to expect.Sex: Technique versus FeelingsDr. Snyder compares the variety of advice available to couples about technique and technical know-how as opposed to psychological signs. He shares the signs of arousal (this is not actually what you think it is!!). This candid list is something you won’t want to miss out on as it brings much clarity to what we experience.Dr. Snyder unwraps the effect of sex on your mental faculties, returning to an infantile state and validation. Tune in to hear his advice for experiencing the most out of arousal to validate and connect us in relationships.How does good communication ruin great sex?We move on to even more unusual beliefs with Dr. Snyder. Join in to hear his shocking view on what communication can do to your relationship and encounter his playful analogies around this. He shares his experiences about couples he consults and makes sense of why he believes communication curbs the passion in relationships.Is it ok to be Selfish?Join in to find out about the role selfishness plays in relationships and sex. We cover orgasms and who is responsible for them despite what is commonly believed. Dr. Snyder draws parallels between childlike selfishness and its connection with sex. Very interesting to hear!But I’m not in the moodDr. Snyder covers a method called the Two- Step. He discusses the secret of this method as the ‘experiencing mode.’ While every couple does things a little differently together, Dr. Snyder says it should move naturally to the second step. We share a playground analogy that opens up our views about what is expected and not expected for connecting with your partner.Men and women experience things differently.In this episode, Dr. Snyder visits the evolution of men’s understanding of women. He shares his insights on how men have lost their primal instincts in an attempt to better understand women and what the impact of this is in relationships today. He shares his advice on embracing your desires.When Dr. Snyder assesses women today, he focuses on women not understanding that men want happy partners. He presents men’s fears about having unhappy partners and the fear of disappointment. In his assessment, he draws on the male experience with a mother and the themes carried from that into adult relationships.About our guestStephen Snyder, M.D. is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine and an AASECT-certified sex therapist in full-time private practice in New York City.He is Chairman of the Consumer Book Award Committee of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), as well as one of America’s most trusted authorities on sex and relationships.Dr. Snyder’s articles about eros in the modern world have gained over a million views online. He is a...

Social Media is making sex obsolete.Dr. Stephen Snyder shares a shocking statistic that reveals the drop in the sexual interaction between people. He unpacks his very interesting theory on why this is. In this episode, you will hear about why people have sex and the influence of social media and technology on their motivation to engage sexually.He talks about ‘Healthy Narcissism” as children and its return during sex, both of which he describes as normal. Listen in to hear him connect the dots between what social media offers and celebrity narcissism- “What we used to get from sex, we now get it from lots of places.” When describing how we interact with devices, he refers to an Infantile Narcissistic State that wants everything but gives nothing.How long should sex last?Listen in to find out what Dr. Snyder considers the appropriate length for sexual engagement. He touches on porn and its influence on what people perceive as perfect. Again, technology affects what we come to expect.Sex: Technique versus FeelingsDr. Snyder compares the variety of advice available to couples about technique and technical know-how as opposed to psychological signs. He shares the signs of arousal (this is not actually what you think it is!!). This candid list is something you won’t want to miss out on as it brings much clarity to what we experience.Dr. Snyder unwraps the effect of sex on your mental faculties, returning to an infantile state and validation. Tune in to hear his advice for experiencing the most out of arousal to validate and connect us in relationships.How does good communication ruin great sex?We move on to even more unusual beliefs with Dr. Snyder. Join in to hear his shocking view on what communication can do to your relationship and encounter his playful analogies around this. He shares his experiences about couples he consults and makes sense of why he believes communication curbs the passion in relationships.Is it ok to be Selfish?Join in to find out about the role selfishness plays in relationships and sex. We cover orgasms and who is responsible for them despite what is commonly believed. Dr. Snyder draws parallels between childlike selfishness and its connection with sex. Very interesting to hear!But I’m not in the moodDr. Snyder covers a method called the Two- Step. He discusses the secret of this method as the ‘experiencing mode.’ While every couple does things a little differently together, Dr. Snyder says it should move naturally to the second step. We share a playground analogy that opens up our views about what is expected and not expected for connecting with your partner.Men and women experience things differently.In this episode, Dr. Snyder visits the evolution of men’s understanding of women. He shares his insights on how men have lost their primal instincts in an attempt to better understand women and what the impact of this is in relationships today. He shares his advice on embracing your desires.When Dr. Snyder assesses women today, he focuses on women not understanding that men want happy partners. He presents men’s fears about having unhappy partners and the fear of disappointment. In his assessment, he draws on the male experience with a mother and the themes carried from that into adult relationships.About our guestStephen Snyder, M.D. is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine and an AASECT-certified sex therapist in full-time private practice in New York City.He is Chairman of the Consumer Book Award Committee of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), as well as one of America’s most trusted authorities on sex and relationships.Dr. Snyder’s articles about eros in the modern world have gained over a million views online. He is a...

How do you talk to kids about sex?In today’s episode, Robin LaCross and I discuss talking about sex to kids. Robin shares the childhood experiences that drew her to her purpose. She reveals the impact of a book about natural family planning, that raised many questions for her.Her curiosity led her to find out more about fertility and the female body. Robin tells us about how she shared this info and what led her to the realization that she needed to be talking to moms as the gatekeepers to these conversations with kids.Cover the basics of sex with your kidsTune in to hear what Robin suggests as the basic topics to cover with your kids. She suggests that these conversations are underpinned by your family values. This is a critical piece of the messages parents share with their kids.She refers to a checklist she recommends as a roadmap to help you as a parent with these messages. Robin brings up culture and it’s often unhealthy impact on perceptions kids grow up with about sex and relationship roles.Join in to hear about what Robin thinks about honesty and its value in a child’s life. She follows its weight throughout a lifetime and it’s reflection in relationships.How do you introduce the topic of sex?Robin shares a few great ideas on how to broach the subject with your kids. Listen in to hear how to incorporate animals, pregnancy, and content on television. Robin recommends a book that can help introduce the topic ( find it below in the links).She covers the need for boundaries and helping kids understand them. Listen in to learn what Robin thinks about teaching kids about their bodies and what the appropriate age is to start discussing changes in bodies.On this episode, you will hear how to help teenagers learn about sex in a healthy way and why that is important for their future relationships.Sex Ed and its fear-based approach are discussed. Join in to hear what Robin thinks about this type of approach and what the long-term effects are for sex in adulthood.The ChecklistRobin gives us highlights of her checklist (which you can find on her website below). Tune in to hear the range from anatomy (younger kids) to the truth about porn (teenagers). She covers talking to girls especially because they can face the onset of periods early.She advises parents to talk to their kids even if they don’t ask questions and she explains why this is important for creating healthy adults.How can Parents prepare themselves for the ‘Talk’?Robin shares a few great options for parents to prepare themselves even if it is unfamiliar territory for you. She offers real and practical ways to gain confidence and clarity for this moment with your child.We learn that persistence is a key thread for sex-related talks, despite kids reactions to it. Robin tackles societies twisted influence on sex and the unhealthy habits it creates for kids that are not taught otherwise. She believes that kids should know that it is a safe topic to raise with their parents.“I want to shift the way our society talks about sex. That starts with families.”About RobinRobin LaCross is a holistic health practitioner and sex educator. She has been teaching natural birth control methods for over 25 years because she is passionate about making sure every young woman grows up knowing and understanding her body and cycle. Mothers hire her to help them raise empowered daughters because most are projecting their own fears on to their daughters and lack the knowledge and skill to successfully communicate the information their daughters need to make smart choices around sexuality, resist peer pressure and live an empowered life.Links and How to Contact Robinwww.raisingempowereddaughters.com...

How do you talk to kids about sex?In today’s episode, Robin LaCross and I discuss talking about sex to kids. Robin shares the childhood experiences that drew her to her purpose. She reveals the impact of a book about natural family planning, that raised many questions for her.Her curiosity led her to find out more about fertility and the female body. Robin tells us about how she shared this info and what led her to the realization that she needed to be talking to moms as the gatekeepers to these conversations with kids.Cover the basics of sex with your kidsTune in to hear what Robin suggests as the basic topics to cover with your kids. She suggests that these conversations are underpinned by your family values. This is a critical piece of the messages parents share with their kids.She refers to a checklist she recommends as a roadmap to help you as a parent with these messages. Robin brings up culture and it’s often unhealthy impact on perceptions kids grow up with about sex and relationship roles.Join in to hear about what Robin thinks about honesty and its value in a child’s life. She follows its weight throughout a lifetime and it’s reflection in relationships.How do you introduce the topic of sex?Robin shares a few great ideas on how to broach the subject with your kids. Listen in to hear how to incorporate animals, pregnancy, and content on television. Robin recommends a book that can help introduce the topic ( find it below in the links).She covers the need for boundaries and helping kids understand them. Listen in to learn what Robin thinks about teaching kids about their bodies and what the appropriate age is to start discussing changes in bodies.On this episode, you will hear how to help teenagers learn about sex in a healthy way and why that is important for their future relationships.Sex Ed and its fear-based approach are discussed. Join in to hear what Robin thinks about this type of approach and what the long-term effects are for sex in adulthood.The ChecklistRobin gives us highlights of her checklist (which you can find on her website below). Tune in to hear the range from anatomy (younger kids) to the truth about porn (teenagers). She covers talking to girls especially because they can face the onset of periods early.She advises parents to talk to their kids even if they don’t ask questions and she explains why this is important for creating healthy adults.How can Parents prepare themselves for the ‘Talk’?Robin shares a few great options for parents to prepare themselves even if it is unfamiliar territory for you. She offers real and practical ways to gain confidence and clarity for this moment with your child.We learn that persistence is a key thread for sex-related talks, despite kids reactions to it. Robin tackles societies twisted influence on sex and the unhealthy habits it creates for kids that are not taught otherwise. She believes that kids should know that it is a safe topic to raise with their parents.“I want to shift the way our society talks about sex. That starts with families.”About RobinRobin LaCross is a holistic health practitioner and sex educator. She has been teaching natural birth control methods for over 25 years because she is passionate about making sure every young woman grows up knowing and understanding her body and cycle. Mothers hire her to help them raise empowered daughters because most are projecting their own fears on to their daughters and lack the knowledge and skill to successfully communicate the information their daughters need to make smart choices around sexuality, resist peer pressure and live an empowered life.Links and How to Contact Robinwww.raisingempowereddaughters.com...

How important is passion?The place of Love across culturesIn this episode of Better Sex, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh unwraps her theory of love in two categories: submergent and emergent. She describes the difference between the two and how cultures have different expectations about love and passion. She dissects each journey and love cycle as people typically experience it. She shares an interesting find about successful couples having the foundation right, then letting the love emerge.The question of love from friendship comes up. Tune in to learn what Dr. Sara thinks about this and what the defining factors are for a harmonious relationship.The Sharp Orange ColorWe chat about the yearning people have for each other (playfully labeled as the Sharp orange color by Dr. Sara). She shares the impact of a healthy foundation once the orange color phase has passed. Her beautiful description for this is a rainbow kind of love.Join in to hear the secret of a rainbow relationship, it’s ingredients and why it works.Differences in cultureAfter discussing her thoughts on arranged marriages, Dr. Sara outlines the different competencies that rank as priorities in different social or cultural contexts.The different perceptions of relationships are brought up for western cultures as we discuss the fantasies people adopt as ‘normal.’Daily findings and adviceDr. Sara offers some advice for submergent types of relationships that want to try and build an emergent type of love.“Language is the least effective way to communicate with someone” - a belief Dr. Saras shares before she dives into analyzing what couples do when they ‘spend’ time together.She has an interesting way of re-branding relationships once couples walk through her door. She touches on the questions couples bring up, the hurt and the past and shares her method around that to ensure couples still move forward.Sex across culturesYou won’t want to miss Dr. Sara's findings on sex and its reflection of power as well as its weight in relationships. She opens our eyes to the sexual confusion found in submergent relationships versus healthier emergent relationships.About our guestDr. Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D. is a Social Psychologist and a thought leader in the fields of Cultural Literacy, Sexual Health, and Relationships. She is an award-winning author and a sought-after speaker and educator. As a former member of the International Federation of Journalists, Dr. Sara is the host of a BBC World Service program on sexuality and relationship issues, which received the BBC’s Innovation of the Year Award in 2007. This program is still ongoing and reaches millions of Farsi-speaking audience across the globe. Dr. Nasserzadeh has been consulted as a senior cultural advisor by governments, international NGOs, professional organizations and private sector across 37 countries.In 2007, her international work in the area of human development and sexuality education received the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) runner-up award for Excellence and Innovation. In 2011, she was a winner for the Pfizer Inc. Innovation of the Year Award for designing an integrative strategic plan to make customers the priory for the enterprise. In 2014, Dr. Nasserzadeh was awarded by the People of Distinction Humanitarian Award in New York City for her humanitarian work around the globe. Dr. Nasserzadeh has been a contributor to numerous books, journals, and white papers. She is highly regarded by her peers and serves on the Board of various professional organizations including the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) and the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).Dr. Sara was named as one of the Best Love Doctors by Harpers Bazaar, and one of the Women in the Know...

How important is passion?The place of Love across culturesIn this episode of Better Sex, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh unwraps her theory of love in two categories: submergent and emergent. She describes the difference between the two and how cultures have different expectations about love and passion. She dissects each journey and love cycle as people typically experience it. She shares an interesting find about successful couples having the foundation right, then letting the love emerge.The question of love from friendship comes up. Tune in to learn what Dr. Sara thinks about this and what the defining factors are for a harmonious relationship.The Sharp Orange ColorWe chat about the yearning people have for each other (playfully labeled as the Sharp orange color by Dr. Sara). She shares the impact of a healthy foundation once the orange color phase has passed. Her beautiful description for this is a rainbow kind of love.Join in to hear the secret of a rainbow relationship, it’s ingredients and why it works.Differences in cultureAfter discussing her thoughts on arranged marriages, Dr. Sara outlines the different competencies that rank as priorities in different social or cultural contexts.The different perceptions of relationships are brought up for western cultures as we discuss the fantasies people adopt as ‘normal.’Daily findings and adviceDr. Sara offers some advice for submergent types of relationships that want to try and build an emergent type of love.“Language is the least effective way to communicate with someone” - a belief Dr. Saras shares before she dives into analyzing what couples do when they ‘spend’ time together.She has an interesting way of re-branding relationships once couples walk through her door. She touches on the questions couples bring up, the hurt and the past and shares her method around that to ensure couples still move forward.Sex across culturesYou won’t want to miss Dr. Sara's findings on sex and its reflection of power as well as its weight in relationships. She opens our eyes to the sexual confusion found in submergent relationships versus healthier emergent relationships.About our guestDr. Sara Nasserzadeh, Ph.D. is a Social Psychologist and a thought leader in the fields of Cultural Literacy, Sexual Health, and Relationships. She is an award-winning author and a sought-after speaker and educator. As a former member of the International Federation of Journalists, Dr. Sara is the host of a BBC World Service program on sexuality and relationship issues, which received the BBC’s Innovation of the Year Award in 2007. This program is still ongoing and reaches millions of Farsi-speaking audience across the globe. Dr. Nasserzadeh has been consulted as a senior cultural advisor by governments, international NGOs, professional organizations and private sector across 37 countries.In 2007, her international work in the area of human development and sexuality education received the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) runner-up award for Excellence and Innovation. In 2011, she was a winner for the Pfizer Inc. Innovation of the Year Award for designing an integrative strategic plan to make customers the priory for the enterprise. In 2014, Dr. Nasserzadeh was awarded by the People of Distinction Humanitarian Award in New York City for her humanitarian work around the globe. Dr. Nasserzadeh has been a contributor to numerous books, journals, and white papers. She is highly regarded by her peers and serves on the Board of various professional organizations including the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) and the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).Dr. Sara was named as one of the Best Love Doctors by Harpers Bazaar, and one of the Women in the Know...

Men's sexual health concerns often stem from the pressure of expectationsIn today’s episode, Jessa and Jennifer Valli talk about men’s sexual health concerns and dysfunctions ( men being defined as people who have been raised male and who have a penis) and approaches to make sex easier and stress-free.Reasons Men go to Sex TherapyJennifer discusses the most common reasons that men go to sex therapy and the compounding pressure they face from society to behave in a predefined manner. She highlights the underlying social habits men are raised to practice and the effect it has on intimacy.The question of penis size is raised and some shocking statistics revealed from Google searches.ExpectationsJennifer covers initiation of sex and the role men are expected to play there as well as the desired sexual response that is burdened on them. She shares her thoughts on how this came to be, by looking at partners past experiences and the historical decline of testosterone.Tips for menJennifer covers specific tips about premature ejaculation and recommends a great book called ‘Coping with Premature Ejaculation’ by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy coupled with an SSRI.Tune in as she shares her Sex Club Rules, adapted from the movie, Fight Club:Rule #1Don’t panic.Rule #2Don’t panic.Rule #3Men may need both fiction and friction to get erect (touch and fantasy).Rule #4Engage with a semi-rigid or moderately rigid penis–don’t wait to be 100% rigid.Rule #5Men don’t need an erection to experience an orgasm.Rule #6Expect waxing and waning erections. This is more common for older men or men with dysfunction.Rule #7Men can still experience orgasm even if they don’t ejaculate from the penis (prostate surgeries or TURP surgeries, for example, can cause retrograde ejaculation where the ejaculate goes back up into the bladder but the man can still feel the orgasm).Rule #8Don’t apologize and turn it into a humiliating catastrophe. Instead, proceed to Rule #9.Rule #9Make eye contact with your partner and transition to being sexual a different way (which Jennifer shares suggestions on)Performance anxietyJennifer tells us about an interesting experiment around this topic and comes to the conclusion that lack of erotic focus causes performance anxiety. She explains how the brain works leading up to and during an orgasm.The topic of learning how to receive comes up and Jennifer shares how men can learn to do this without it feeling unnatural.Jennifer covers loss of an erection, the role of the mind, the partner and ways to tune in and engage as a couple with perspective on the matter. Delayed ejaculation is covered and Jennifer shares what to do with this, so you will be in safe hands!I ask if erectile dysfunction is physical or mental and Jennifer shares her thoughts on this with another interesting experiment you probably didn’t know about. Listen in to find out if they are linked or not and why.Where to from here?For men who have stayed away from sexual encounters and want to try and experience this again, she discusses how men can start having sex by “scaffolding in physical intimacy”. Listen in as she takes us on a step by step guide to slowly build up to a comfortable place with your partner.About JenniferJennifer Valli is a seasoned therapist and draws on 25 years of post-master’s clinical experience in psychiatry. She is a licensed psychotherapist in Tennessee and Certified Sex Therapist through AASECT, the American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors and Therapists.Valli completed some of this training in the area of fetishes and paraphilias with faculty through...

Men's sexual health concerns often stem from the pressure of expectationsIn today’s episode, Jessa and Jennifer Valli talk about men’s sexual health concerns and dysfunctions ( men being defined as people who have been raised male and who have a penis) and approaches to make sex easier and stress-free.Reasons Men go to Sex TherapyJennifer discusses the most common reasons that men go to sex therapy and the compounding pressure they face from society to behave in a predefined manner. She highlights the underlying social habits men are raised to practice and the effect it has on intimacy.The question of penis size is raised and some shocking statistics revealed from Google searches.ExpectationsJennifer covers initiation of sex and the role men are expected to play there as well as the desired sexual response that is burdened on them. She shares her thoughts on how this came to be, by looking at partners past experiences and the historical decline of testosterone.Tips for menJennifer covers specific tips about premature ejaculation and recommends a great book called ‘Coping with Premature Ejaculation’ by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy coupled with an SSRI.Tune in as she shares her Sex Club Rules, adapted from the movie, Fight Club:Rule #1Don’t panic.Rule #2Don’t panic.Rule #3Men may need both fiction and friction to get erect (touch and fantasy).Rule #4Engage with a semi-rigid or moderately rigid penis–don’t wait to be 100% rigid.Rule #5Men don’t need an erection to experience an orgasm.Rule #6Expect waxing and waning erections. This is more common for older men or men with dysfunction.Rule #7Men can still experience orgasm even if they don’t ejaculate from the penis (prostate surgeries or TURP surgeries, for example, can cause retrograde ejaculation where the ejaculate goes back up into the bladder but the man can still feel the orgasm).Rule #8Don’t apologize and turn it into a humiliating catastrophe. Instead, proceed to Rule #9.Rule #9Make eye contact with your partner and transition to being sexual a different way (which Jennifer shares suggestions on)Performance anxietyJennifer tells us about an interesting experiment around this topic and comes to the conclusion that lack of erotic focus causes performance anxiety. She explains how the brain works leading up to and during an orgasm.The topic of learning how to receive comes up and Jennifer shares how men can learn to do this without it feeling unnatural.Jennifer covers loss of an erection, the role of the mind, the partner and ways to tune in and engage as a couple with perspective on the matter. Delayed ejaculation is covered and Jennifer shares what to do with this, so you will be in safe hands!I ask if erectile dysfunction is physical or mental and Jennifer shares her thoughts on this with another interesting experiment you probably didn’t know about. Listen in to find out if they are linked or not and why.Where to from here?For men who have stayed away from sexual encounters and want to try and experience this again, she discusses how men can start having sex by “scaffolding in physical intimacy”. Listen in as she takes us on a step by step guide to slowly build up to a comfortable place with your partner.About JenniferJennifer Valli is a seasoned therapist and draws on 25 years of post-master’s clinical experience in psychiatry. She is a licensed psychotherapist in Tennessee and Certified Sex Therapist through AASECT, the American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors and Therapists.Valli completed some of this training in the area of fetishes and paraphilias with faculty through...

Vino & Vulvas - A community conversation about sexToday I am delighted to have Heather Edwards, who has been a pelvic physical therapist for 14 years and is currently completing the University of Michigan’s Certificate Program in Sex Counseling and Education.In 2015 she founded Vino & Vulvas, an inclusive, public, monthly event that connects sexual health providers with community members through educational panel discussions about sexuality.How did Vino and Vulvas come about?Tune in to hear the hilarious story of how Heather went from an impromptu chat with two guys at a bar about topics from sexual repression to vaginal discharge, to launching Vino and Vulvas.It was that captive audience at the bar that, “made me realize we didn't need to be just talking to women, but we needed to talk to everyone!” Heather explains the atmosphere she was looking for as sitting in a living room, chatting with friends with a glass of wine or a cup of coffee - not your usual workshop.Join us to find out how Vino and Vulvas creates a safe environment where everyone is included and unnecessary confrontation is avoided.This removes the fear factor and the potential for next day regrets, something that Heather refers to as a “vulnerability hangover”What do we talk about?“I like to lean into discomfort and create a safe place where we can dig into things,” Heather admits, “I'm constantly having to dig into places that are uncomfortable.”Press play to hear about some of the topics that have been discussed and those that are planned in the near future.Future PlansHeather hopes to spread the idea of a “sex-positive community” to other cities and is hoping to encourage people to join her in this challenge.Listen in to find out what it takes to be a host or a panelist at a Vino and Vulva event. The website link below makes it painfully easy to just fill in a questionnaire and start this conversation.Heather is a fierce ally of transgender health and emphasizes the importance of being aware of challenging our assumptions regarding sexuality and gender, to ensure an all-inclusive approach.Where to go?If you have something you want to talk about but can't get to a Vino and Vulvas event, Heather advises “breaking down the barriers with friends”, you may find they have had, or know someone with, similar experiences.If you want to find out what a Vino and Vulvas event looks like then listen in to this episode. More information can be found by checking out her website below.ResourcesVino & Vulvas Website – See what it's all about - http://www.vinoandvulvas.com/Facebook Page – Check out events - https://web.facebook.com/vinoandvulvas/Patreon:If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Vino & Vulvas - A community conversation about sexToday I am delighted to have Heather Edwards, who has been a pelvic physical therapist for 14 years and is currently completing the University of Michigan’s Certificate Program in Sex Counseling and Education.In 2015 she founded Vino & Vulvas, an inclusive, public, monthly event that connects sexual health providers with community members through educational panel discussions about sexuality.How did Vino and Vulvas come about?Tune in to hear the hilarious story of how Heather went from an impromptu chat with two guys at a bar about topics from sexual repression to vaginal discharge, to launching Vino and Vulvas.It was that captive audience at the bar that, “made me realize we didn't need to be just talking to women, but we needed to talk to everyone!” Heather explains the atmosphere she was looking for as sitting in a living room, chatting with friends with a glass of wine or a cup of coffee - not your usual workshop.Join us to find out how Vino and Vulvas creates a safe environment where everyone is included and unnecessary confrontation is avoided.This removes the fear factor and the potential for next day regrets, something that Heather refers to as a “vulnerability hangover”What do we talk about?“I like to lean into discomfort and create a safe place where we can dig into things,” Heather admits, “I'm constantly having to dig into places that are uncomfortable.”Press play to hear about some of the topics that have been discussed and those that are planned in the near future.Future PlansHeather hopes to spread the idea of a “sex-positive community” to other cities and is hoping to encourage people to join her in this challenge.Listen in to find out what it takes to be a host or a panelist at a Vino and Vulva event. The website link below makes it painfully easy to just fill in a questionnaire and start this conversation.Heather is a fierce ally of transgender health and emphasizes the importance of being aware of challenging our assumptions regarding sexuality and gender, to ensure an all-inclusive approach.Where to go?If you have something you want to talk about but can't get to a Vino and Vulvas event, Heather advises “breaking down the barriers with friends”, you may find they have had, or know someone with, similar experiences.If you want to find out what a Vino and Vulvas event looks like then listen in to this episode. More information can be found by checking out her website below.ResourcesVino & Vulvas Website – See what it's all about - http://www.vinoandvulvas.com/Facebook Page – Check out events - https://web.facebook.com/vinoandvulvas/Patreon:If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Triumph after sexual traumaThis is the first in a new series of episodes where I will be talking to real people sharing real stories.On this episode, I am joined by Alli, a recovering overachiever who has learned to let go of society's expectations and step into alignment with her true self.Her passion is helping others to do the same through her podcast and her one-on-one coaching programs. In this episode, I talk to her about her amazing journey of transformation.Alli became a victim of rape at the age of 22 and has battled conflicts with her spirituality, but she has rebuilt her life and shares some of her achievements: hiking two of the tallest peaks, graduating at 24 with a Masters, and traveling 6 continents!The Shame of SexListen in as Alli shares the trauma of being raped by someone she was dating, the confusion this stirred within herself and those close to her, as well as the biblical lines crossed from being raised as a Christian.She admits to struggling to define what had actually happened, but that it just, 'Didn't feel right' and that the 'shame was overwhelming'.It was not until years later when talking to a therapist, that she was able to label this event as rape and begin her journey of recovery.“It felt really good!” she recalls, “I could take the shame off me and put the blame on the perpetrator.”Getting HelpFor most of Alli's life, she had categorized her worth through, at first her virginity and then, through her achievements.“I didn't feel worthy of a true connection so I would just hook up with people,” she confesses. Join us as she talks about how she met her now husband, Matt, with whom she could openly communicate and how this helped her to look at what had happened and to seek help.“Him respecting me, empowered me to heal. I am finally at a place where I understand my worthiness as an individual.”You are Not AloneThis is truly an inspirational story that you will not want to miss. As the Me Too Movement encourages conversations around the true meaning of consent, Alli also hopes to be able to help others feel empowered and inspired to take back their power and share their stories too.“I hope this will breed change in society,” she exclaims, something this big can't be solved by sitting by yourself and trying to work it out. Alli’s advice is to “find someone you can trust and share.”Guest AppearanceIf you can relate to Alli's story or if you have faced your own sexual challenges and transformations that you would be willing to share with others, please get in touch.I would love to talk to you and help you to inspire others as Alli has done.Fill out this form: https://bettersexpodcast.com/guest-inquiry/Patreon:If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/