Better Sex

Triumph after sexual traumaThis is the first in a new series of episodes where I will be talking to real people sharing real stories.On this episode, I am joined by Alli, a recovering overachiever who has learned to let go of society's expectations and step into alignment with her true self.Her passion is helping others to do the same through her podcast and her one-on-one coaching programs. In this episode, I talk to her about her amazing journey of transformation.Alli became a victim of rape at the age of 22 and has battled conflicts with her spirituality, but she has rebuilt her life and shares some of her achievements: hiking two of the tallest peaks, graduating at 24 with a Masters, and traveling 6 continents!The Shame of SexListen in as Alli shares the trauma of being raped by someone she was dating, the confusion this stirred within herself and those close to her, as well as the biblical lines crossed from being raised as a Christian.She admits to struggling to define what had actually happened, but that it just, 'Didn't feel right' and that the 'shame was overwhelming'.It was not until years later when talking to a therapist, that she was able to label this event as rape and begin her journey of recovery.“It felt really good!” she recalls, “I could take the shame off me and put the blame on the perpetrator.”Getting HelpFor most of Alli's life, she had categorized her worth through, at first her virginity and then, through her achievements.“I didn't feel worthy of a true connection so I would just hook up with people,” she confesses. Join us as she talks about how she met her now husband, Matt, with whom she could openly communicate and how this helped her to look at what had happened and to seek help.“Him respecting me, empowered me to heal. I am finally at a place where I understand my worthiness as an individual.”You are Not AloneThis is truly an inspirational story that you will not want to miss. As the Me Too Movement encourages conversations around the true meaning of consent, Alli also hopes to be able to help others feel empowered and inspired to take back their power and share their stories too.“I hope this will breed change in society,” she exclaims, something this big can't be solved by sitting by yourself and trying to work it out. Alli’s advice is to “find someone you can trust and share.”Guest AppearanceIf you can relate to Alli's story or if you have faced your own sexual challenges and transformations that you would be willing to share with others, please get in touch.I would love to talk to you and help you to inspire others as Alli has done.Fill out this form: https://bettersexpodcast.com/guest-inquiry/Patreon:If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Out of control sexual behavior or sex addiction Are you concerned about your own sexual behavior in relation to your values? Do you wonder if your sexual behavior is out of control? Are you or someone you love worried that you have a sex addiction? You cannot afford to miss this episode with guest Marc Gilmartin. Marc is a Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor who unpacks how to identify if you have a sexual behavior problem and how to deal with it.Marc provides individual and group psychotherapy for a range of clinical issues, but in today's episode, he shares about Out of Control Sexual Behavior and Erotic Conflict.Identifying a problemIn his diagnosis of a problem, Marc explains understanding if your sexual behavior is compulsive or conflicting with your values. He identifies the starting point of sexual behavior problems as the discovery or disclosure of an “agreement breaking process” and provides a few great examples.Tune in to learn more as Marc discusses the three categories of problems he finds that could help you.Marc’s Process and AdviceHelping people define their own clear boundaries for sexual behavior is something Marc specializes in through regular one-on-one and group sessions. Join us to hear Marc's advice on Couples therapy and when it is needed.While Marc helps people with their sexual conflicts, his role is not to judge if a behavior is appropriate or inappropriate, but instead for his client to identify what is meaningful to them and align that to their personal values.He teaches clients that, “it is not necessarily the fact that you were looking for pleasure, it's the way you were going about trying to get that need met.”Listen in as he takes us through the stages to achieve that ideal vision of sexual health in relation to each individuals situation.Getting HelpThere are a number of internet support groups, books and 12-step programs available, some of which we discuss on this episode, but they don't work for everyone.If you think that talking to Marc might help you to understand any of the issues discussed and how they may relate to yourself, then check out his contact details below and get in touch.Website: http://marcgilmartin.com/Email: marc@marcgilmartin.comPhone: (425) 453-6344More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Out of control sexual behavior or sex addiction Are you concerned about your own sexual behavior in relation to your values? Do you wonder if your sexual behavior is out of control? Are you or someone you love worried that you have a sex addiction? You cannot afford to miss this episode with guest Marc Gilmartin. Marc is a Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor who unpacks how to identify if you have a sexual behavior problem and how to deal with it.Marc provides individual and group psychotherapy for a range of clinical issues, but in today's episode, he shares about Out of Control Sexual Behavior and Erotic Conflict.Identifying a problemIn his diagnosis of a problem, Marc explains understanding if your sexual behavior is compulsive or conflicting with your values. He identifies the starting point of sexual behavior problems as the discovery or disclosure of an “agreement breaking process” and provides a few great examples.Tune in to learn more as Marc discusses the three categories of problems he finds that could help you.Marc’s Process and AdviceHelping people define their own clear boundaries for sexual behavior is something Marc specializes in through regular one-on-one and group sessions. Join us to hear Marc's advice on Couples therapy and when it is needed.While Marc helps people with their sexual conflicts, his role is not to judge if a behavior is appropriate or inappropriate, but instead for his client to identify what is meaningful to them and align that to their personal values.He teaches clients that, “it is not necessarily the fact that you were looking for pleasure, it's the way you were going about trying to get that need met.”Listen in as he takes us through the stages to achieve that ideal vision of sexual health in relation to each individuals situation.Getting HelpThere are a number of internet support groups, books and 12-step programs available, some of which we discuss on this episode, but they don't work for everyone.If you think that talking to Marc might help you to understand any of the issues discussed and how they may relate to yourself, then check out his contact details below and get in touch.Website: http://marcgilmartin.com/Email: marc@marcgilmartin.comPhone: (425) 453-6344More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

I'm excited about the topic for this episode. We're going to be talking about both Masculine and Feminine Energy. I'm talking about this because it's relevant to sex and to our lives in general.We all have masculine and feminine energy, it's not about whether you're male or female bodied. It doesn't matter what kind of physical form you're in. Each of us has both types of energy, and it's important to be able to access and develop our sense of each of them in our lives. It's especially important in sex because it's the interplay between the two different energies that creates attraction.Masculine and feminine energy are like magnetic poles. If you have two that are alike, they can repel, and if they're different then they attract. That sort of tension or difference is what creates some vitality in a sexual attraction. And again, it's not about two different genders, but it's about having some interaction between those two different energies.It is helpful to learn about what those energies are, how they show up, what might block them, and what it's like to develop the one you're less comfortable in or spend less time in. That gives you more choice about how you show up in your sexual relationship, and it offers some fuel for your sexual fire.These concepts show up in my sex therapy practice, although people aren't generally using the language of masculine or feminine energy. But they are talking about trouble shifting gears from work.They are talking about lacking confidence and power in their sexual interactions. They are talking about struggling with sexual initiation and demonstration of their desire. All of the concerns relate to your balance of female and male energy.Clients also talk about struggles with attraction to their partner. Maybe it's because they aren't polarized in their energy, they are both in sort of the same place, whether that's masculine or feminine. And again, I'm not talking about gender; it doesn't matter if you're two men or two women. It's about what energy you are inhabiting.I have this amazing guest to talk to us today about this. Her name is Jeni Dahn, and she's really a gifted and experienced shamanic practitioner, an energetic healer and a life coach who empowers her clients to reconnect with their inner wisdom and live authentically.Jeni uses a variety of indigenous and modern healing modalities which focus on removing the energetic and mental barriers that prevent individuals from living to their full potential. She serves a wide variety of clients, including those seeking emotional support during life changes and recovery from physical, psychological, or emotional trauma, and also those who desire to live more wholeheartedly and abundantly.She sees the beauty in light in everyone, and she certainly shines her own beauty and light with everybody she deals with. She's compassionate, loving, understanding, and always fully present with clients and after working with her, people often say they feel more alive, joyful, grounded, and inspired to live from the truth of their being. It is just a delight to have Jeni Dahn with me here today.Initially inspired by the work of Dr. Alberto Villoldo, Jeni studied for two years with the Four Winds Society, where she learned many healing arts and the power of energy medicine. After receiving a certificate in energy healing from the Four Winds Society, Jeni completed additional training with the CTI coaching program. As a lifelong learner, Jeni continues to study indigenous healing practices and remains inspired by her teachers in the Seattle area and abroad. Along with private sessions, Jeni offers workshops, retreats, and group healing sessions throughout the Northwest.Links:Website - https://www.jenidahn.com/Instagram -

I'm excited about the topic for this episode. We're going to be talking about both Masculine and Feminine Energy. I'm talking about this because it's relevant to sex and to our lives in general.We all have masculine and feminine energy, it's not about whether you're male or female bodied. It doesn't matter what kind of physical form you're in. Each of us has both types of energy, and it's important to be able to access and develop our sense of each of them in our lives. It's especially important in sex because it's the interplay between the two different energies that creates attraction.Masculine and feminine energy are like magnetic poles. If you have two that are alike, they can repel, and if they're different then they attract. That sort of tension or difference is what creates some vitality in a sexual attraction. And again, it's not about two different genders, but it's about having some interaction between those two different energies.It is helpful to learn about what those energies are, how they show up, what might block them, and what it's like to develop the one you're less comfortable in or spend less time in. That gives you more choice about how you show up in your sexual relationship, and it offers some fuel for your sexual fire.These concepts show up in my sex therapy practice, although people aren't generally using the language of masculine or feminine energy. But they are talking about trouble shifting gears from work.They are talking about lacking confidence and power in their sexual interactions. They are talking about struggling with sexual initiation and demonstration of their desire. All of the concerns relate to your balance of female and male energy.Clients also talk about struggles with attraction to their partner. Maybe it's because they aren't polarized in their energy, they are both in sort of the same place, whether that's masculine or feminine. And again, I'm not talking about gender; it doesn't matter if you're two men or two women. It's about what energy you are inhabiting.I have this amazing guest to talk to us today about this. Her name is Jeni Dahn, and she's really a gifted and experienced shamanic practitioner, an energetic healer and a life coach who empowers her clients to reconnect with their inner wisdom and live authentically.Jeni uses a variety of indigenous and modern healing modalities which focus on removing the energetic and mental barriers that prevent individuals from living to their full potential. She serves a wide variety of clients, including those seeking emotional support during life changes and recovery from physical, psychological, or emotional trauma, and also those who desire to live more wholeheartedly and abundantly.She sees the beauty in light in everyone, and she certainly shines her own beauty and light with everybody she deals with. She's compassionate, loving, understanding, and always fully present with clients and after working with her, people often say they feel more alive, joyful, grounded, and inspired to live from the truth of their being. It is just a delight to have Jeni Dahn with me here today.Initially inspired by the work of Dr. Alberto Villoldo, Jeni studied for two years with the Four Winds Society, where she learned many healing arts and the power of energy medicine. After receiving a certificate in energy healing from the Four Winds Society, Jeni completed additional training with the CTI coaching program. As a lifelong learner, Jeni continues to study indigenous healing practices and remains inspired by her teachers in the Seattle area and abroad. Along with private sessions, Jeni offers workshops, retreats, and group healing sessions throughout the Northwest.Links:Website - https://www.jenidahn.com/Instagram -

I'm revisiting a topic that we talked about in a previous episode, which is menopause This time it's not so much from the medical standpoint or a provider's standpoint. It's more about the invisibility that tends to happen in that time of life: the lack of information, the lack of support, the lack of understanding and how isolated and alone women can feel as they're getting into their midlife.Women can almost feel as though they've fallen through the cracks at this point.I wanted to do this episode more on the social and support aspects of menopause and what it's like to try to go through that time feeling empowered and vibrant and alive and confident instead of what so frequently happens, which is almost like a setback. I can't remember if I read this somewhere, somebody called it the second adolescence, but it's a little bit reminiscent of that.Who am I? How do I fit in? Where's my place? Do I feel empowered or not? Do I just want to hide? So much of what somebody can go through at 12, 13, 14 can almost resurface in middle age.I've connected with Jill Angelo, and she is the founder and CEO of Genneve, which is a healthcare management solution for women in Midlife. The mission of Genneve is to empower women to take charge of their health and feel their best, confident, and most sexy selves and that just appealed to me.In addition to the medical episode we did about menopause and what people can expect, this is more, “where can people go to make this an empowered transition and maybe the best years of their life instead of feeling like they'd been set back?”Genneve is about women helping women and professionals helping women, all working together to find menopause solutions.Jill is tech exec turned women's health care advocate, and she's bringing her passion for women's development and health together with her technology experience to build this new organization, Genneve.She's a driving force for bringing effective health solutions, information, and resources to women in the most vibrant years of their life. So, I hope you enjoy my conversation with Jill Angelo.Links:Website - https://genneve.com/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillangelo/Twitter - @mygenneveFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/mygenneveEmail - jill@genneve.comMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

I'm revisiting a topic that we talked about in a previous episode, which is menopause This time it's not so much from the medical standpoint or a provider's standpoint. It's more about the invisibility that tends to happen in that time of life: the lack of information, the lack of support, the lack of understanding and how isolated and alone women can feel as they're getting into their midlife.Women can almost feel as though they've fallen through the cracks at this point.I wanted to do this episode more on the social and support aspects of menopause and what it's like to try to go through that time feeling empowered and vibrant and alive and confident instead of what so frequently happens, which is almost like a setback. I can't remember if I read this somewhere, somebody called it the second adolescence, but it's a little bit reminiscent of that.Who am I? How do I fit in? Where's my place? Do I feel empowered or not? Do I just want to hide? So much of what somebody can go through at 12, 13, 14 can almost resurface in middle age.I've connected with Jill Angelo, and she is the founder and CEO of Genneve, which is a healthcare management solution for women in Midlife. The mission of Genneve is to empower women to take charge of their health and feel their best, confident, and most sexy selves and that just appealed to me.In addition to the medical episode we did about menopause and what people can expect, this is more, “where can people go to make this an empowered transition and maybe the best years of their life instead of feeling like they'd been set back?”Genneve is about women helping women and professionals helping women, all working together to find menopause solutions.Jill is tech exec turned women's health care advocate, and she's bringing her passion for women's development and health together with her technology experience to build this new organization, Genneve.She's a driving force for bringing effective health solutions, information, and resources to women in the most vibrant years of their life. So, I hope you enjoy my conversation with Jill Angelo.Links:Website - https://genneve.com/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillangelo/Twitter - @mygenneveFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/mygenneveEmail - jill@genneve.comMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Well, the last episode of my podcast was about pregnancy and sexuality, and it seemed to make sense to go right into the next obvious topic, which is postpartum sexuality.Talk about a lot of change to adjust to! You've got not only the physical impact of carrying and birthing a baby, but you've got the emotional, the psychological, and the relational impacts as well. Life is not the same once you've had a baby. It's a complex time with a lot of changes and challenges.You're going to be exhausted. You're going to be focused on the baby. You're going to have trouble getting the bandwidth to take care of other things in your life right away. You've got the transition of your role with your partner now that you're a mom or a dad. Everything is different, and it really can throw your sex life for a loop.The physical changes are often expected and anticipated, but the psychological challenges are hard to imagine ahead of time. Not only do you probably need to wait some amount of time before you resume sex, that's just before you are allowed to resume sex. Then there's the issue of when do you want to?How do you get back in a state of mind where you want to engage physically with your partner? How do you nurture that? How do you communicate about it with your partner? Do hormones play a role in all of this? There's a lot of transition to go through.Tammy Senn is a certified nurse midwife and a women's health nurse practitioner and she's practicing in central Maryland. She's got over 20 years of experience guiding women through pregnancy, birth and new motherhood and working with families in those same stages of life.She provides reproductive and gynecologic care for women of all ages, and she's received advanced training in sexual concerns, including evaluation and treatment as well as counseling and education.I think she's the perfect person to talk about everything that happens when you add the baby to the family: the impacts on sex, what you can expect (although there's not just one thing to expect) and what you can do about it.We talk about how a six-week check-in is based more on tradition than evidence and is only a guideline. This leads us to cover how there is no "normal" and that it is important to listen to your body. Everyone is different. You will be ready when you feel ready.We also cover some postpartum depression issues, including how it can often manifest in the partner, and how awareness and early communication are key to addressing any issues before they grow.Tammy will be a presenting an educational session entitled Beyond the Pink Pill: A Step-wise Approach to Female Disorders of Desire and Arousal, at the Annual Meeting of the American College of Nurse-Midwives in May of this year. Listeners can learn more about Nurse-Midwives and the personalized care they provide at http://www.midwife.orgMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmerman

Well, the last episode of my podcast was about pregnancy and sexuality, and it seemed to make sense to go right into the next obvious topic, which is postpartum sexuality.Talk about a lot of change to adjust to! You've got not only the physical impact of carrying and birthing a baby, but you've got the emotional, the psychological, and the relational impacts as well. Life is not the same once you've had a baby. It's a complex time with a lot of changes and challenges.You're going to be exhausted. You're going to be focused on the baby. You're going to have trouble getting the bandwidth to take care of other things in your life right away. You've got the transition of your role with your partner now that you're a mom or a dad. Everything is different, and it really can throw your sex life for a loop.The physical changes are often expected and anticipated, but the psychological challenges are hard to imagine ahead of time. Not only do you probably need to wait some amount of time before you resume sex, that's just before you are allowed to resume sex. Then there's the issue of when do you want to?How do you get back in a state of mind where you want to engage physically with your partner? How do you nurture that? How do you communicate about it with your partner? Do hormones play a role in all of this? There's a lot of transition to go through.Tammy Senn is a certified nurse midwife and a women's health nurse practitioner and she's practicing in central Maryland. She's got over 20 years of experience guiding women through pregnancy, birth and new motherhood and working with families in those same stages of life.She provides reproductive and gynecologic care for women of all ages, and she's received advanced training in sexual concerns, including evaluation and treatment as well as counseling and education.I think she's the perfect person to talk about everything that happens when you add the baby to the family: the impacts on sex, what you can expect (although there's not just one thing to expect) and what you can do about it.We talk about how a six-week check-in is based more on tradition than evidence and is only a guideline. This leads us to cover how there is no "normal" and that it is important to listen to your body. Everyone is different. You will be ready when you feel ready.We also cover some postpartum depression issues, including how it can often manifest in the partner, and how awareness and early communication are key to addressing any issues before they grow.Tammy will be a presenting an educational session entitled Beyond the Pink Pill: A Step-wise Approach to Female Disorders of Desire and Arousal, at the Annual Meeting of the American College of Nurse-Midwives in May of this year. Listeners can learn more about Nurse-Midwives and the personalized care they provide at http://www.midwife.orgMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmerman

Today's topic is pregnancy and sexuality. It's just not talked about very often, and if you have been pregnant or if you have been a partner with somebody that's pregnant, you may have noticed that the doctors often don't ask or talk about sex.It's uncommon for medical providers to inquire about any sort of sexual changes that you're having, the state of your relationship with your partner, or how things are going sexually once sex has been used to make the baby.There's a void of information and void of support for people that are experiencing a pregnancy and wondering what in the world's going on with their sex life.Not that everybody has problems. Some people coast through pregnancy with ease. But physical, emotional, and psychological changes happen, and there are some themes to the challenges that people face.My guest today, Aleece Fosnight, is a sexual medicine, urology and women's health physician assistant in western North Carolina. She is nationally certified by AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists as a sexuality counselor and educator, and her specialty includes treating all manner of sexual dysfunctions and concerns, providing sexual health, education information and personalized counseling to patients of all ages.She works a lot in the urology clinic but also in an Ob-Gyn facility, so I'm delighted that she's here to talk to us today about pregnancy, sexuality, the medical and physical changes that people go through, understanding what they're facing, and some do's and don'ts about sex when you're pregnant. We also discuss how people can enhance their sexuality during pregnancy.We cover some of the more common changes and challenges, but we also touch on some surprising outcomes, such as how couples trying to have a baby can find themselves experiencing more distance. How does this happen? The sex can become goal-oriented, toward making a baby and not toward experiencing pleasure or building closeness.As with many sexual challenges within a relationship, communication can be key to managing tough times.Links:Website - http://www.aleecefosnight.comHilda Hutcherson, Sex and the Baby Years - https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Baby-Years-Good-Guide-ebook/dp/B078V3CHCBCavallucci & Fulbright, Your Orgasmic Pregnancy - https://www.amazon.com/Your-Orgasmic-Pregnancy-Secrets-Positively-ebook/dp/B00LH48KGE/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

Today's topic is pregnancy and sexuality. It's just not talked about very often, and if you have been pregnant or if you have been a partner with somebody that's pregnant, you may have noticed that the doctors often don't ask or talk about sex.It's uncommon for medical providers to inquire about any sort of sexual changes that you're having, the state of your relationship with your partner, or how things are going sexually once sex has been used to make the baby.There's a void of information and void of support for people that are experiencing a pregnancy and wondering what in the world's going on with their sex life.Not that everybody has problems. Some people coast through pregnancy with ease. But physical, emotional, and psychological changes happen, and there are some themes to the challenges that people face.My guest today, Aleece Fosnight, is a sexual medicine, urology and women's health physician assistant in western North Carolina. She is nationally certified by AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists as a sexuality counselor and educator, and her specialty includes treating all manner of sexual dysfunctions and concerns, providing sexual health, education information and personalized counseling to patients of all ages.She works a lot in the urology clinic but also in an Ob-Gyn facility, so I'm delighted that she's here to talk to us today about pregnancy, sexuality, the medical and physical changes that people go through, understanding what they're facing, and some do's and don'ts about sex when you're pregnant. We also discuss how people can enhance their sexuality during pregnancy.We cover some of the more common changes and challenges, but we also touch on some surprising outcomes, such as how couples trying to have a baby can find themselves experiencing more distance. How does this happen? The sex can become goal-oriented, toward making a baby and not toward experiencing pleasure or building closeness.As with many sexual challenges within a relationship, communication can be key to managing tough times.Links:Website - http://www.aleecefosnight.comHilda Hutcherson, Sex and the Baby Years - https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Baby-Years-Good-Guide-ebook/dp/B078V3CHCBCavallucci & Fulbright, Your Orgasmic Pregnancy - https://www.amazon.com/Your-Orgasmic-Pregnancy-Secrets-Positively-ebook/dp/B00LH48KGE/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

I give a lot of thought to what makes a great sex life. What makes us sex life healthy, what makes it enjoyable for people, what makes it fulfilling?When I consider the kinds of things that matter, I think about the ability to slow down and be present in the moment. I think about the ability to tune into your body and to know what you want in that moment. Not just abstractly, like if I asked you at breakfast what you wanted for dinner, but what do you want right now?It's equally important to know what you don't want. Not just knowing what your boundaries are, but also how do you recognize what is making you uncomfortable or that something isn't pleasing right now? And then how do you speak up about that? It's crucial that you're able to communicate with a partner in order to ask for what you want (and to speak up about what you don't) to negotiate and collaborate with them.Another important aspect of better sex is the ability to enjoy the journey. So, instead of being goal oriented or focused on performance or on an outcome, to have better sex, you've got to just enjoy what you're doing in the moment with the partner. You're fully present. You're not in a hurry. There's no test that you pass or fail at the end of it. Those are critical components of good sex.This is not an exhaustive list, but it is a good starting point for what I work with people to accomplish in their intimate lives. There are a lot of professions that help people with this. So, while I do this as a sex therapist, other mental health counselors work with people around some of these issues. Massage practitioners are working with people around touch and just being in their body.I had an earlier episode of Better Sex with a Tantric Healer who's explicitly working with people around what they want, communicating consent, boundaries, and presence.And it turns out I've learned about a new profession, or at least new to me, of people that that help with these issues and skills. I met Anna Joy Reedy, who is my guest today, through a colleague, and I was really struck by how warm and sincere she is. As we talked about what she does, I was fascinated, so I invited her on the show.She is a professional Cuddlist. She has a philosophy degree that she's put to use as an entrepreneur, and she is enthusiastically pioneering this new frontier of touch therapy as a Cuddlist. This is something she's fascinated by and really moved to share with people. She's really interested in all things somatic and she told me she's got lots of, "not yet birthed writings" in the works too. She's got a lot to share and I'm just delighted that she's on the show with me today.We talk about what a professional cuddler does and what you can expect in a session. We also answer the question, "Is it ever sexual?" and cover safety concerns.And, most importantly we talk about the healing power of platonic touch. Proven to help reduce chronic pain and depression, while boosting immunity and enhancing mood, platonic touch and cuddling can positively impact overall wellness. Much like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, professional therapeutic touch is healing and transformative.Links:Website - https://cuddlist.com/annajoy/Website - http://annaorganizes.com/Cuddlist info - https://cuddlist.com/press/YouTube (Janet Trevino) - https://youtu.be/Ic4PawxYX-YMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and...

I give a lot of thought to what makes a great sex life. What makes us sex life healthy, what makes it enjoyable for people, what makes it fulfilling?When I consider the kinds of things that matter, I think about the ability to slow down and be present in the moment. I think about the ability to tune into your body and to know what you want in that moment. Not just abstractly, like if I asked you at breakfast what you wanted for dinner, but what do you want right now?It's equally important to know what you don't want. Not just knowing what your boundaries are, but also how do you recognize what is making you uncomfortable or that something isn't pleasing right now? And then how do you speak up about that? It's crucial that you're able to communicate with a partner in order to ask for what you want (and to speak up about what you don't) to negotiate and collaborate with them.Another important aspect of better sex is the ability to enjoy the journey. So, instead of being goal oriented or focused on performance or on an outcome, to have better sex, you've got to just enjoy what you're doing in the moment with the partner. You're fully present. You're not in a hurry. There's no test that you pass or fail at the end of it. Those are critical components of good sex.This is not an exhaustive list, but it is a good starting point for what I work with people to accomplish in their intimate lives. There are a lot of professions that help people with this. So, while I do this as a sex therapist, other mental health counselors work with people around some of these issues. Massage practitioners are working with people around touch and just being in their body.I had an earlier episode of Better Sex with a Tantric Healer who's explicitly working with people around what they want, communicating consent, boundaries, and presence.And it turns out I've learned about a new profession, or at least new to me, of people that that help with these issues and skills. I met Anna Joy Reedy, who is my guest today, through a colleague, and I was really struck by how warm and sincere she is. As we talked about what she does, I was fascinated, so I invited her on the show.She is a professional Cuddlist. She has a philosophy degree that she's put to use as an entrepreneur, and she is enthusiastically pioneering this new frontier of touch therapy as a Cuddlist. This is something she's fascinated by and really moved to share with people. She's really interested in all things somatic and she told me she's got lots of, "not yet birthed writings" in the works too. She's got a lot to share and I'm just delighted that she's on the show with me today.We talk about what a professional cuddler does and what you can expect in a session. We also answer the question, "Is it ever sexual?" and cover safety concerns.And, most importantly we talk about the healing power of platonic touch. Proven to help reduce chronic pain and depression, while boosting immunity and enhancing mood, platonic touch and cuddling can positively impact overall wellness. Much like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, professional therapeutic touch is healing and transformative.Links:Website - https://cuddlist.com/annajoy/Website - http://annaorganizes.com/Cuddlist info - https://cuddlist.com/press/YouTube (Janet Trevino) - https://youtu.be/Ic4PawxYX-YMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and...

I often hear from clients about how much they struggle when they're different from each other. In the beginning, we were attracted to this other way of being. We were interested because this person was so different from us. But what intrigued us in the beginning is what often drives us nuts later in the relationship. So even though opposites attract, they can run into misunderstanding and frustration later.Sometimes I hear, "I want to be spontaneous and my partner always needs everything planned and scheduled."Or, "I want to have sex to feel connected. That's how I feel connected to my partner." While the other person is saying, "I need to feel connected first before I'm going to want to have sex with you."Or, when something is wrong in the relationship,there are people that want to dig in and solve it right away and make sure they're coming to a resolution with their partner and that they're both feeling good. But their partner may be of the type that needs to go away and process internally and doesn't want to come back and address the issue until they have it worked out in their mind.These are just some examples of how different people can be from their partner in ways that can cause problems. So, I thought it might be fascinating to have a guest on who specializes in personality type assessment come in and talk about how personality type might impact your sex life.In this episode, we talk about how personality type is really just about energy, where we give our best energy and where we get our best energy. Jessica says that types are on a continuum or scale, that it's not an "either/or" scenario. You aren't an introvert or an extrovert, but a combination of both, maybe leaning towards one side. So, you're more introverted or tend to be more extroverted.In our discussioni, we try to figure out the different ways people show up on this particular assessment and how that might show up in a relationship and specifically with sex.This just gives you another way to think about the differences between you and your partner. How neither person is wrong or broken, but how you have to work together with a different person and make a sex life in a relationship that's going to work for both of you.My special guest today is Jessica Butts. She is the CEO and founder of FrontSeatLife.org, where she inspires, motivates and educates people to live their life from what she calls their "front seat," using their innate personality type as measured by the Myers-Briggs.She calls herself a retired psychotherapist since she's not in practice anymore, and she's now a life and business coach and Myers-Briggs expert who is on a mission really to inspire other people to accomplish magnificent things by embracing their innate type.And one thing you're going to hear her say is to be unapologetically who you are. She's passionate about personal development, traveling, deep connections with people in her life and helping create a hose for her clients.And I'm so delighted that she's agreed to come on the show and talk to us about Myers-Briggs and sex.Links:Website - https://jessicabutts.com/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/FrontSeatLife/Twitter - https://twitter.com/jessicaButtsMALinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-butts-06776b4YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/ButtsCounselingInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/frontseatlife/More info:

I often hear from clients about how much they struggle when they're different from each other. In the beginning, we were attracted to this other way of being. We were interested because this person was so different from us. But what intrigued us in the beginning is what often drives us nuts later in the relationship. So even though opposites attract, they can run into misunderstanding and frustration later.Sometimes I hear, "I want to be spontaneous and my partner always needs everything planned and scheduled."Or, "I want to have sex to feel connected. That's how I feel connected to my partner." While the other person is saying, "I need to feel connected first before I'm going to want to have sex with you."Or, when something is wrong in the relationship,there are people that want to dig in and solve it right away and make sure they're coming to a resolution with their partner and that they're both feeling good. But their partner may be of the type that needs to go away and process internally and doesn't want to come back and address the issue until they have it worked out in their mind.These are just some examples of how different people can be from their partner in ways that can cause problems. So, I thought it might be fascinating to have a guest on who specializes in personality type assessment come in and talk about how personality type might impact your sex life.In this episode, we talk about how personality type is really just about energy, where we give our best energy and where we get our best energy. Jessica says that types are on a continuum or scale, that it's not an "either/or" scenario. You aren't an introvert or an extrovert, but a combination of both, maybe leaning towards one side. So, you're more introverted or tend to be more extroverted.In our discussioni, we try to figure out the different ways people show up on this particular assessment and how that might show up in a relationship and specifically with sex.This just gives you another way to think about the differences between you and your partner. How neither person is wrong or broken, but how you have to work together with a different person and make a sex life in a relationship that's going to work for both of you.My special guest today is Jessica Butts. She is the CEO and founder of FrontSeatLife.org, where she inspires, motivates and educates people to live their life from what she calls their "front seat," using their innate personality type as measured by the Myers-Briggs.She calls herself a retired psychotherapist since she's not in practice anymore, and she's now a life and business coach and Myers-Briggs expert who is on a mission really to inspire other people to accomplish magnificent things by embracing their innate type.And one thing you're going to hear her say is to be unapologetically who you are. She's passionate about personal development, traveling, deep connections with people in her life and helping create a hose for her clients.And I'm so delighted that she's agreed to come on the show and talk to us about Myers-Briggs and sex.Links:Website - https://jessicabutts.com/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/FrontSeatLife/Twitter - https://twitter.com/jessicaButtsMALinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-butts-06776b4YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/ButtsCounselingInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/frontseatlife/More info: