Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

The Type 5 on the Enneagram is also called the Investigator. They are someone who is watching and observing and analyzing how everything works.  They gather knowledge on how things work and how to navigate the world with their competence.  They do have a focus on managing their own needs well so that they aren't reliant on others. Let's hear from Liz and Melissa on how being an Enneagram Type 5 empowers their motherhood and how it shows up in stress.      When the Type 5 is in stress they move towards the Type 7 (adventurer) and become more restless and agitated. When they are in a place of growth they move towards the full body empowerment of a Type 8 (maverick). I also discuss the Harmonic Groups, this is how the Enneagram Types handle problems.  The Type 5 belongs to the Competency Group, meaning they rely on logic (rather than emotion) to handle their problems.    In this episode we will hear from Liz Squires, you can find her here at Fearless Birth Project And Melissa, from Enneagram Paths.  Thank you, ladies, for sharing your motherhood journey with us and giving a voice to the Type 5 experience.    Make sure to tag me in your Instagram and show some love to the ladies who have been coming on to share their stories! If you want to listen to the LIVE Q+A where I answer the difference between the Type 4 and Type 5 then head over to the Simple on Purpose Community group to watch it.      FULL TRANSCRIPT I'm really excited to continue on this series that we're doing enneagram. And for those of you who haven't heard of the enneagram, and you want to go back and listen to it, head on back a few episodes to what are your motives. The enneagram looks at our motives, more than it looks at our outward behavior. Like being an introverted extrovert, it looks at why we're doing it instead of just what we're doing. It's a really fascinating tool that I love to use in my coaching, that has just helped me so much in my life, in my relationships in my parenting, I just have a lot of passion for it. I think it is very powerful and brings a lot of awareness to us in our showing up in our life. And you know, me, I'm all about showing up for life showing up well for your actual life. So today, we're covering the type five, also known as the observer, or the investigator. And I have a couple of great type fives sharing with me. One is one of my online friends, Liz Squires, and the other one is an enneagram coach herself, Melissa. So thank you to both of those ladies for being the type fives who will come out of the shell, and share with us today. So the type five, the observer, there's someone who are always watching, they're always observing and analyzing how the world works, they really want to figure it out. So that they can use this knowledge as a way of making themselves capable and competent in the world. They long to be capable and competent. And they are also someone who has a skill of reducing their own needs, so that they are not reliant on other people, they keep their needs very minimal and meet them themselves. So when the type five is in a place of stress, they move towards the type seven, they become restless, agitated, distracted, scattered.

The Type 4 on the Enneagram is also called the Individualist, or the Romantic. They have a reputation of being artistic, expressive and willing to feel a range of emotions.  Which I think makes them very brave and they hold a lot of space for those in suffering and those who long to express themselves.      The Type 4 is part of the reactive group when it comes to dealing with problems. This means they respond/express themselves and look for an emotional response from those around them. A Type 4 craves been seen and supported in these times.  Which makes them so adept at expression and emotional attunement.    When in a place of growth the Type 4 will move towards the Type 1 and become more objective and practical. When in stress they will move towards the Type 2 and become clingy and look for reassurance from others.    Thank you to the two moms sharing their experience with us today.  Thank you Shawna and Laura. You can find Laura at Fjord Creative.    In the Simple on Purpose Community group, I did a LIVE Q+A on the Enneagram and one of the questions I answered was how to tell the difference between the Type 4 and the Type 5. Head here if you want to see it (and other lives) And to join the Simple Saturdays email (it is FUN email that comes out twice a month!) sign up for that right here   FULL TRANSCRIPT At simple on purpose, I am all about helping you simplify your life, whether it is your home, your heart, your general life, so that you can slow down, pay attention to the things that matter most to you, and show up well for them. I want you to enjoy your life, I want you to enjoy motherhood, enjoy your job, enjoy your home, I want you to enjoy the life you actually have. We are continuing on this week with our series on the enneagram and motherhood. And today I have a couple of type fours sharing. The type fours are also called the individualist or the romantic, they are very expressive, they are known as artistic types, they are known as people who can just hold a lot of emotional space, they're very open to experiencing and feeling and making space for their whole emotional range, which I think makes them very brave. When a type four is under stress, and they're not feeling very healthy, they're going to move towards the qualities of a type two, they are going to be clingy and look for reassurance look to a lot of the people around them for reassurance and validation. When they are in a healthier place, they move towards the qualities of the type one not so much the perfectionist and critical qualities, but the qualities of the type one that allow them to step out of that fantasy world in their mind, and come in and engage in the real life world to be more objective, and to apply themselves to whatever they want to do with a more practical approach rather than an emotional repro approach. So I've been explaining the harmonic groups through these episodes. And that is how each type deals with problems when things don't go their way. And the type fours are part of the reactive group, which means they are the enneagram types, who will react strongly and look for a response from others. So they're very expressive. When a type four is handling problems, and things aren't going their way they seek being seen, they seek someone who can understand them and support them,

The Type 3 on the Enneagram is also known as the Achiever or the Performer.  They are motivated by a need to be successful and they are natural checklist-makers and goal getters.  What is it like to be a Type 3 Mom?   I have three Type 3 moms sharing their experience on how their type empowers them and how it shows up in times of stress.  When a Type 3 is in stress they take on the qualities of the Type 9 and become more detached and apathetic and stubborn.  When they are in a place of growth they move towards the qualities of the Type 6 and become more cooperative and a team player focussed on the greater good rather than the personal goal.    When a Type three faces a challenge they apply logic to solve the problem. They are part of the Competency Group. They detach from their feelings by staying in an active role to work on the goal and "figure it out".    I think the Type 3s offer us a lot of encouragement to 'raise the bar' and I know that myself, as a Type 9, looks to the energy and drive of the Type 3 in my life to encourage me with that.  If you want coaching by your Enneagram type, book a consult call to learn more.  Thank you to these three wonderful moms who shared today! Thank you, Veronica, Shannon and Stef (You can find Stef Gass at the Mompreneur Mastermind Podcast)   Full transcript  Hey friends, it's Shawna,your nerdy girlfriend and Life Coach from simple on purpose.ca. This is the podcast for the busy mom on the go, I aim to keep all of the episodes under 20 minutes. And I want to just jam-packed them with ideas and stories and information on how you can simplify your life, slow down and show up for your life on purpose being very purposeful, very, very intentional with the life you want to build into and how you want to show up in it every single day. So we're continuing on with the enneagram series and we're covering enneagram threes. Today I have three mums sharing about a bit about their motherhood experience as being in an enneagram three. The Enneagram Type 3 is also called the achiever, they get things done, they like goals, they have their checklists, and I love the threes my husband's a three. And since we learned each other's enneagram types over the years, I have so much more appreciation for the qualities that he brings into our life, our family, our marriage as a three that I don't just naturally have on my own. So when a three is in stress, when they're feeling stressed out, they're not at their healthiest, they move towards a type nine, which is called the peacemaker. But at the nine at their more unhealthy qualities, they are very disengaged, they're stubborn, they're apathetic, they're very withdrawn. When a type three is in a place of health, they're feeling like they're showing up with healthy motives from a healthy place, they move towards the type six, the loyalist, they become more of a team player, they're more cooperative, they're more committed to the goal of the good of the group rather than their own personal self image and having to meet a goal that will satisfy that The type three is part of the competency group. And I've been explaining that there's our harmonic groups, which is the way that we deal with things when they don't go our way. And then each of the enneagram types are grouped into one of these three groups, these harmonic groups, and the type three belongs to the competency group.

The Type 2 on the Enneagram is also known as The Helper. For this reason, a lot of us can identify as a possible Type 2 - especially in North America where this is a cultural expectation that women are 'helpers'.  This can lead to people-pleasing, but not all people-pleasers are Type 2s.  Some things that set the Enneagram Type 2 apart: * They cope with problems by focussing on the needs of others rather than themselves * Their relationships are built with a culture of 'helping' * They find their value in helping others I explain what the Type 2 can look like in times of growth and in times of stress.  I also outline how to differentiate a common mistype with Type 9s.  Three moms are sharing their experience of being a Type 2 mom and outlining what feels like a struggle and what feels like a strength for them when it comes to motherhood.  Thank you to Louise, Aimee and Jessica for sharing with us! You can find Louise here.  You can find Jessica right here.  Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and make a purchase I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.  Links: The Wisdom of the Enneagram book Get answers to your questions about the Enneagram in the Simple on Purpose Community Facebook Group Book a consult call to learn about life coaching with the Enneagram Share your Enneagram + Motherhood Experience, looking to hear from types 5,6,7,8 and 9 - message me if you are up for it   Episode Transcript  Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach from Simple on Purpose. This is the podcast for the mom on the go, I aim to keep all of the episodes short to the point and filled with tips and advice and insight to help you simplify slow down and show up for your life because this is your life, you should enjoy it. Today we're continuing on with the type twos of the enneagram the type two mamas who are sharing their experience of what it is like to be a type two. And if the enneagram is new to you head back a couple of episodes I do a run through on all of the nine types of the enneagram. So the type two also known as the helper, as I mentioned before, there are directions we take when we are in growth and directions we take when we are in stress, and the type two will move towards the type for when they are in a healthy place in their growing and they will become more self nurturing, more sensitive, more recognizing of their own needs their own desires, in a way more self actualizing and self aware. When they are under stress, they move towards a type eight, the rebel the maverick and they become more aggressive and more argumentative. As you listen to these three moms. Today you're going to hear Louise mentioned that she takes on the type three traits. Since type three is right beside the type two, you can pick up qualities of the type right beside you this these are called the wings. So she takes on type three traits and the type three is the achiever. Now the type two is a type that many of us can identify with naturally, because it's called the helper and in North America,

I have three moms sharing a few minutes each about their experience of motherhood as being a Type 1 on the Enneagram. As part of a series I am doing on all the nine enneagram types called Enneagram + Motherhood Type 1s are also called the Perfectionist or Reformer.  I am explaining a bit more details about Type 1s and taking referencing information taught in the Wisdom of the Enneagram by Riso and Hudson Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.  When it comes to dealing with problems or not getting their way, they rely on COMPETENCY.  In Enneagram talk: they are part of the Competency Group when it comes to their Harmonic Style.  I briefly explain with this means and what it looks like for the Type 1.    I also explain what growth and stress look like for an Enneagram Type 1. These are called the Line of Integration (what you do when you are emotionally healthy) and Line of Disintegration (what you do when you are unhealthy and stressed). Then we hear from three moms who are so kind to share their own self-awareness and insights into the struggles and strengths of being a Type 1. I love that they also share how they manage the hurdles and I have helpful takeaways from what they share.    Thank you, Louise, Jacquie and Liz for sharing your experience with us! You can find Louise at Talk Nerdy to Me and you can find Liz at Glow   Are you a type 5,6,7,8 or 9 who wants to share their motherhood experience? If so, then message me on Instagram and let me know! Ask your Enneagram questions in the Facebook community Get coached by your Enneagram Type with Shawna Scafe, Certified Coach Practitioner and Transformational Life Coach Full transcript (unedited) Hey, friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.ca. And I'm just gonna dive right in because we are talking about the enneagram. And I have three amazing moms who have recorded and shared with me with their experience in motherhood is like as being a type one. type one also called the perfectionist, the reformer. So if you've listened to the last episode, if not, I encourage you to go do that I run through the nine types. And now moving forward, I'm going to share these voices of these moms by enneagram type on what their motherhood experience is like. So first of all, thank you mamas, thank you for sharing. Thank you for giving a voice to this, I found this whole experience so enlightening, to listen to each type and just sit with it. And, and I love that these moms are also offering how they deal with the stressors in their life by their type. So you're going to hear in from these three moms, Jackie is going to mention that she moves in growth to a type seven as a type one, when they're in growth, they move towards a type seven. So I mentioned in the last episode, that whatever type you are, when you are in a place of growth, and emotionally healthy, you will move to another type on the enneagram, you'll pick up the positive qualities of that type. And when you are in a place of stress,

One tool I use in my life coaching is the Enneagram. It is a self-discovery tool that brings more awareness to your stress habits, your strengths, your behaviour patterns and it is all based on your MOTIVES - why you are doing something, what you are avoiding or moving towards.  Books recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.  I have been working on a series of episodes that feature moms sharing their motherhood experience through the lens of the Enneagram. To introduce this series I wanted to give you a brief rundown of the Enneagram types - as it pertains to their motives.  What their desires and fears for all of the nine enneagram types.  If you want a more thorough explanation of all the 9 Enneagram Types then head to episode 17:  Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) In this episode, I reference Richard Rohr, an OG Enneagram Teacher whose book I am citing. You can find his book right here.  To get support: Ask me questions about the Enneagram or finding your type in the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Get life coaching from Shawna using the Enneagram as a tool for personal growth Message me on Instagram to share your Enneagram + Motherhood Experience Full episode transcript: Hello friends and welcome I am Shawna your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from simple on purpose.  And this is the place for you if the clutter feels like too much if life feels too busy if motherhood is overwhelming if your marriage feels like it's slipping, these are all signs to us that we've been living on autopilot, just letting life happen at us, rather than us being in the driver's seat, being proactive, being intentional, and I know, because I've been there. Three and a half years into motherhood. I was three kids in and I learned about minimalism and decided to declutter my home. As I did that, I realized I've been living my whole life on autopilot, just letting it pile up, just letting it happen. And I wanted to take control, I wanted to live on purpose. I wanted to take action and build a life, the home the relationships and mindsets that I craved, the one that God made me for, I wanted to set a vision for my life, I wanted to show up for my life, based on my personal values who I want it to be. So if you are on this journey, then let me come alongside you. I am a mom of three, I am a trained life coach, and your nerdy girlfriend who believes that this is our life, we should enjoy it. Let's dig in. Today, I'm going to open up a series I'm going to do on parenting through the enneagram the enneagram if you haven't heard it, and I'm sure you have because it's having a day, the enneagram is a self-discovery tool. So it's kind of like Myers brigg, or disk. But the enneagram looks a lot at our inner motives. What is driving us and what we desire. What we are motivated by that is powerful stuff. So it's not just like you're an introvert extrovert, it's like, what is driving you underneath that? Are you driven by success, or by needing to help people or by needing to keep the peace, there's different motivations we have. Although our outward actions might look very similar, we're doing one thing, but driven towards it for a different reason. So on this episode, I'm going to run through very quickly the nine types.

What if I need it one day? Ask this question can leave you holding onto a lot of items that you really don't 'need' in your life.  From old magazines, to old chargers, to clothes, to kitchen gadgets.  This is a fear-based question that gives us some anxiety and then we make our decisions from this anxious place rather than from a place of abundance and the desire to fill our home with LIFE-GIVING things.  In this episode, I will walk you through how this question has held me back and how I have coached myself to new questions that bring me more freedom and peace in decluttering.  Links to topics mentioned on this episode: The Finnish Way (great book on the art of SISU - on my list of Cozy Faves) The Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Group (see past Q+A Lives *make sure to answer the entry questions) Identity Clutter (read the post here) Scarcity vs Abundance (the not-enough mindset, on this episode) The Simple Saturdays Email (sign up for the FUN bi-weekly email!) Renae's Great Clutter Clear Out Challenge (sign up for the free 5-day challenge)   Full episode transcript (unedited) Hey friends at Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach. From Simple on Purpose.ca This is our time where we stop, slow down, simplify, remove the drams and distractions on our lives so that we can show up for what matters the most to us show up with more peace, more purpose and presence for our actual lives. I'm so glad you're here. If it's your first time here, welcome. I'm Shawna I am a mom of three who decided that I would try out minimalism years ago, and it just sent me on this to jet trajectory. It's hard to declutter my home, which turned me into decluttering my life and my heart. And I am a trained life coach helping other women do the same show up for their lives with more purpose, peace and presence. So how have you been this January, where I live in British Columbia, where I live, it's icy. And you might know I walk my kids to the school bus every morning. It's a few blocks away, but we have to go down this hill. And I'm just like, submitted to it, I sit on my butt, I got my snow pants on and I slide down that hill, like I get speed, I end up like bumping into my daughter and pushing her down to. So I'm going to wear out the butt on my snow bands. It's fine. I'm still having fun. I'm showing up for that. I just love sledding, it is so much fun. Even if it's my only way of protecting my body from fall I just go with it, I'm going to fall in advance. So that's life here where I live in BC, we still have a little bit of a winter hanging on. And that's fine. I don't mind it. I really love getting out in the morning and walking the kids to school. Sometimes I even get my active minutes that way. But it's just such a nice way to start the day, I have a personal goal to get outside every single day. And a book that really inspired me to do this is a book called The Finnish way. The Finnish art of C Su and si su is that term for just real grit and persistence and not taking the easy way out. And that book just changed my whole view on how of lightweight I am. One other thing that I started doing since I read that book is I wi...

I've got a really fun and informative free training for you today. This is today's live webinar on three steps to get unstuck and take action towards living your life ON PURPOSE this year. And I know the idea of intentional living and goals and habits can feel daunting right now, but there are always small and MEANINGFUL things we can do that are building up into our future selves and the life on purpose, peace, presence and PASSION that we crave. In this audio replay of the live webinar I will share: * the three steps to get unstuck - this means turning off the autopilot, reclaiming our power and giving our selves permission (to dream, to change, to be imperfect) * what you need to set direction for your life on purpose this year (you need to know WHERE you are going or you won't ever get there!) * how to take action from a simple plan and not from overwhelm * two ways to work with me this year for more support and accountability * PLUS answering the attendee questions and sharing their takeaways from the webinar * Life purpose, how to create a new habit, motivating yourself, how to let yourself dream, and more.    You can find the Life on Purpose roadmap RIGHT HERE, remember beta pricing expires on Jan 16th https://www.lifeonpurposeacademy.ca/theroadmap And you can find the Life on Purpose academy RIGHT HERE, the winter session starts Jan 21st https://www.lifeonpurposeacademy.ca/winter2021   Full episode transcript is available at the end of this post. And here is the video replay if you are interested in that.     Full transcript (unedited) 0:06 Hey, friends, welcome to this podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and life coach from Simple on Purpose.ca And today I'm sharing with you a webinar. I just did it today. It was so much fun. So many great questions and insights were shared at the end of it. So I wanted to share it here, at least for the time being, I might take it down later. Who knows. But here it is, if you want it to be part of that webinar, but you didn't get to it, you didn't make space for it, whatever. Here's the replay. It is three steps to get unstuck and living your life on purpose this year, which feels like a really hard thing, doesn't it, it feels daunting and feels like maybe not even necessary some days. But I want to break it down for you. I want to help you keep it simple. And I want it all to come from a place that is excited and passionate and loving for you in your life because this is your life, you should enjoy it. I hope you enjoy. If at any time you have questions about it, feel free to bring them into the Facebook group, or email me or find me on Instagram at simple on purpose.ca I would love to chat more with you enjoy three steps to get unstuck. Alright, so today 1:14 we are going to talk about the three steps I have for you to get unstuck. 123. And then I'm going to talk about a couple ways to work with me. If you're interested in support and accountability. And I'm going to take your questions, which is why you're here. It's why you're on this webinar. That's why you came live to get answers to your questions. So make take advantage of that. I'm just gonna switch things around. There we go. Alright, so you guys might know me you might not I'm assuming most of you do. Hi. My name is Shawna. I am a life coach. I am behind simple on purpose and the life on purpose Academy, also a mom of three. So a little bit about what has brought me here to talking about life on purpose is that realization I had about six years ago, my oldest my youngest is six now that I was living in ki...

Welcome to the New Year friends! This is the time we feel this resolution to make things new, as we flip over the calendar. There is a lot of thought given to resolutions, goals and habits to make. And all of that is good - when it is in line with your LIFE ON PURPOSE Life on Purpose is turning off the autopilot - being reactive, just living on default. When we do the things we have always done, thing what we have always thought we will keep getting more of the same. Do you like where you autopilot life is taking you? Or do you want to redirect it? Life on Purpose is living with INTENTION, and it needs two things: * knowing who you want to be, how you want to show up (values) * knowing where you want to go (vision) I will share with you my strategy for setting out my yearly goals and habits. And remember, all of this work is NOT about overhauling your whole life and getting to 100% in all nine areas of your life, it is about being someone who does simple meaningful things, consistently, towards their vision and values.    Steps to plan out your yearly goals and habits  * Values - take time to get clear on your personal values * Vision - write out what you want and long for and aspire to in the nine areas of your life * Home, family, love, friendships, health, work, inner expression, outer expression, finances * Take stock, evaluate where you are right now. This helps you set a path on the direction to take forward. Ask: What is working? What is not? What do I want more of? What do I want less of? * Combine these (values, vision, evaluation) to identify the goals and habits that will move you towards your vision and values in this area of your life.    Some of my goals and habits I want to do in 2021 We have been doing this work for the past five years and continue to modify and refine where we want to go and how we want to get there.  In this episode, I am sharing some of the goals and habits I am setting for this year ahead: * Home: filing papers, digitizing kid's artwork, routine deep cleanings * Kids: family meetings, hikes (with friends! Which combines my family vision and friend vision for the year) * Health: last year I worked a lot of sleep and vegetables. This year I am working on movement and nourishing lunches * Outer: get outside (daily), make music easier (piano project) * Inner: devotion goals, reading a book a month, memorizing scripture * Finances: making more debt-free purchases, more detailed tracking of expenses   I also answered some of the questions sent in to me about planning life on purpose: * How to pick the values and vision God has for my life? * How do I get my husband more involved in setting goals and habits together? * What planner do you use? * I feel overwhelmed about planning my life on purpose, where do I even start?   Ways to get support with intentional living this year The Life on Purpose Roadmap. A self-guided course that addresses the hurdles, excuses and distractions that keep you from knowing what you want, planning it and taking action on it.  The Life on Purpose Academy. Weekly group coaching calls for the next ten weeks. This gives you support, accountability, consistency and so much insight into what holds you back and how to keep moving forward.    Remember that doing all of this is about SHOWING UP for yourself,

One thing I hear moms tell me they want is to be MORE PRESENT. We know that in our daily life we have a lot of distractions pulling our attention away. And this is a problem when we are being pulled away from the tasks and people that are meaningful to us.  Being a present parent allows us to engage, pour into and ENJOY our kids - and this has been a struggle of mine over the years - and a struggle I coach other moms through  I polled my Facebook community on what keeps them from slowing down and being present - and the feedback was a resounding 'the mental to-do list!'.  That streaming list in the back of our minds of 'what we SHOULD be doing RIGHT NOW!'. I call this the mental chatter.  I also call this a thought trap - an autopilot thought keeping us stuck in a pattern that isn't serving us and making our lives better.  Why do we want to be more present in our parenting and life? * To nurture/improve our relationships * To become more aware of what is available for us to enjoy in the here and now * To be more relaxed rather than ruminating on the past or spinning with anxiety about the future * To be more mindful and proactive rather than on autopilot and reactive You might want more presence if you feel like: * Your phone gets more attention than the people in your life * You feel disconnected from others or your life * You are often mentally distracted * You really aren't enjoying what is happening, you kinda just numb and coast right through it  The number on reason being present is hard is because of the MENTAL CHATTER. I want you to harness the power of the CBT model to see that your thoughts create your feelings and your feeling create your behaviour.  I have an example of how I made a MINDSET shift that changed how I showed up during quarantine in a way that made me feel OPEN rather than made me feel constant rushed.  Tips for slowing down and showing up to be more present as a mom, and in your life: * Brain dump - declutter your brain * Prioritize - this is a list of OPTIONS, now it is time to MAKE CHOICES * Scheduling what NEEDS to be done - scheduling it in brings you freedom because you know there is time for what needs to get done * Removing the distractions - from the phone to your time to your space * Be proactive with what you will show up for - plan out specific activities/time frames that you will commit to showing up for   Helpful links Listen to Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness Listen to Why you are too busy (by enneagram type)  Blog post on Do Life Better with a Brain Dump Join the  Simple on Purpose Community Facebook group  Sign up for the Simple Saturdays bi-weekly (FUN/HELPFUL) email   Full episode transcript  Welcome to the Simple on Purpose podcast. This is a place for you, Mama, to come and feel refreshed. Because if you are going through your life, feeling resentful, feeling frustration,

'How are things going?' 'Oh, they are busy'. How often are you talking about how BUSY you are?  How often do you find yourself thinking you wish you had more time for other things. How often do you end your day feeling drained and worn and maybe resentful.  Busyness might be a cycle you are spinning in. And it is a common cycle for moms to be on - because we have a culture that tells how busy is a badge of honour while simultaneously throwing memes of frazzled moms in our face.  In this episode we unpack BEING TOO BUSY, all of this is a primer to the next episode on being more present.  Main points on why you are too busy * Our culture glorifies busy, and there are some signs that we have bought into it. One of them being that feel like we never have enough time * Busy is that feeling when we get when we feel our life demands are more than the energy we have * Being busy isn't so much a problem with how we manage our time, but also a problem with how we manage what is purposeful. We aren't using our time and energy purposefully * Yet we are still busy because somehow, it serves us. Being busy allows us to chase a feeling or avoid a feeling * Each enneagram type can be busy for different reasons.  * We respond to 'busy' with 'productivity' but we are often missing the 'purpose'  * Simple solutions for moms to manage the busy feeling * braindump, prioritize,  make time for what matters * Long term management of busy means knowing who you are and what you want in life, and setting your time and energy in line with that.  LINKS The enneagram 101 Download the 'Busy By Enneagram Type' PDF Join the Simple on Purpose community Sign up for the Simple Saturdays bi-weekly email   Full episode transcript  Hey, friends,  This is the simple on purpose podcast. And if you're new here, welcome. This is a podcast, I aim to keep short to the point and full of motivation and ideas on new ways to approach your everyday life. So that you can show up for your whole life without overhauling IT shop for your whole life where it is right now, and feel like you're showing up on purpose. Today, I want to talk about busy and I was about to record an episode on being present. And I just had so much to say on the opposite of present, which is busyness that I thought it deserved an intro of its own. Why are we so busy?  There is such thing as the glorification of busy, where we have a culture around us that glorifies busy. Some things to look out for yourself, if you are buying into the glorification of busy are: * you talk about how busy you are, * you feel like you do a lot, but you don't get a lot done * after an active day you feel drained, maybe even resentful, instead of invigorated and purposeful. * you feel like you never have enough time. And that's the thing is busy is something that we feel we feel busy when our life demands more than the energy we have. So the problem is more how we manage our energy, and how we manage our life demands. But we don't really get to that place where we're questioning, oh, how am I managing my life and my energy we don't,

Empathy with other adults can feel differently than it does between us and kids. This is often because our emotions are used as currency, as power. And also because we are raised to stigmatize negative and uncomfortable emotions.  So why should we make an effort to master empathy? How can it really improve our connections in our marriage and friendships?   The full transcript is at the end of this post. In this podcast episode I'm sharing: * Why empathy is hard in a marriage * When both partners are in a stressed state because they are dealing with frustrations and negative emotions * Assuming the worst case scenario vs getting curious from a place of love * Empathy's role at bringing us back to the same team rather  * Giving and receiving empathy * The difference between empathy and sympathy * Empathy fatigue and holding space for others  * The scale of an empathetic reaction: too much, not enough  * When you constantly want to change someone else, how can empathy help?   Join the Simple Squad in the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community Learn more about life coaching with Shawna, Certified Coach Practitioner and certified in Transformational Life Coaching    Full episode transcript This is the Simple on Purpose Podcast, where I'm here encouraging you mamas to love what matters -  to make time for what matters - make space for what matters - make energy for what matters. In the last episode, we talked about empathy, the two types of empathy, emotional empathy, and cognitive empathy, having empathy in our relationships, specifically in parenting. Being empathetic parents how it's not a form of enabling bad behaviour, but a form of creating a connection point and a way of changing the relationship dynamic where it's the one that handles tough emotions together, rather than punishing them, avoiding them, resisting them or reacting to them. Today, I want to continue on with empathy, as we can use it in our marriage and in our friendships. Empathy is having an appreciation, almost feeling the feelings of someone else. Empathy is saying, I know what you're feeling, I can see that I can understand that. It can go even further into compassion, where I have compassion for how you're feeling, but empathy in a marriage, what does that look like? Because often, we have feelings for what we think their feelings are, do you know what I mean? Like we assume the worst so that they're acting this way. And it means all these horrible things. And, and they're just doing this because they're selfish and, and all that matters to them is work and all of these other things, we fill in the blank with the worst-case scenario. So when it comes to marriage, having empathy means, often asking, asking them, what's happening for them, asking ourselves what's happening for us, because we need empathy for us too. And when it comes to two adults, having empathy in a relationship where emotions are almost power, that emotions can be used as a currency. And this generation that we're in many of us adults, now we're raised to stigmatize negative emotions, to be uncomfortable with them. So if my partner is uncomfortable with something, he's in his own mind, fighting that discomfort, that stress, and I am uncomfortable by his discomfort and my own discomfort that I've caused by my own thoughts about the whole thing, we're both in a stress mode, we are ready to fight,

I have been coaching women who shy away from empathy in their motherhood and relationships.  Sometimes this is because they can't see it as a part of a solution, maybe it doesn't come naturally to them. Most often we don't bring empathy into parenting because we don't want to enable our kids or express any permissiveness of their poor behaviour.  I want to unpack what empathy is, the two types of it, and how to bring it into your parenting without using it as a way to enable poor behaviour. Empathy can increase our connection and relationship - which helps us work on conflict resolution together.  Find the full transcript at the end of this post (Books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will be compensated at no additional cost to you.)   This is part one. In this episode we cover: * The two types of empathy * How empathy helps make our lives better * The phenomenon of having empathy for 'the bad guy'  * Empathy is not enabling * Empathy is not the silver bullet solution to conflict with our kids * How empathy teaches our kids emotional intelligence  * How expressing empathy to our children helps them offer it to others * Empathy helps us both deal with the discomfort of their negative emotions The book I mention in this episode is Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman I have a thorough book summary on that book right here I also mentioned SISU, which is a Finnish concept of grit and resilience. It is from a great book I read a couple of years ago called The Finnish Way.    Sign up for information about one-on-one life coaching with Shawna Scafe - Certified Coach Practitioner & Certified in Transformational Life Coaching.  FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT If you're new here a little bit about me, I am a mom of three kids in small-town, Canada. I am a life coach, a minimalist mom. And I started out my career as a health inspector, very underwhelming job. And I gave that up once my second child was born, to stay at home with them, which evolved into me being here, somehow just taking step after step, idea after idea down the road, to where now I am life coaching women and helping them show up for their lives. That's my whole goal for you, is to give you some freedom and power to show up for your life to enjoy your life. No matter where you are, even if you're knee-deep with toddlers, or you're balancing work life and mom life. I want to help you show up well for your life. As I mentioned, I am in small town Canada and our province is going into another wave of COVID restrictions, we're entering into another time of somewhat isolation, but not as extreme as last March. So we're really relying again on what we can do outside even though it's cold, and there's snow around. Getting outside for walks is a huge thing. Last week, I took my daughter for a walk and we walked an hour right across town, the sun was shining, it was beautiful. And I don't know about you, but I feel like with my kids, if I pour into them one on one,

Hey friends! Let's have a momfriend coffee date - grab a warm drink and sit with me, Your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach.  Well this, is a coffee date for all friends really - mom or not. Because I want to have some lady chat about things I am trying, loving, watching and enjoying.  Plus I have some special encouragement for you on feeling like you are behind, or you are not where you should be.      The full episode transcript is at the end of this post.  THE CURRENTLY LIST! This list has a lot of fun links! Some of these links will be affiliate links through Amazon. As an amazon associate, I make a small commission from your purchase at NO cost to you.  My current planner for this year I was using the Pipsticks + Workman planner and really liked it (it is cute, fun, and has lots of habit tracking spots). Especially the monthly recap page in each monthly section. This year I am trying out the Happy Planner. It always takes some time to get used to a new planner.  Watching Back In Time For Dinner is a show we have found on the GEM app, through CBC.  It follows a family as they spend a week living in a past decade, from the 1940s-2000.  Reading Educated by Tara Westover Wearing I am at the age where I splurge on clothes at Costco and am feeling pretty happy with my recent sock purchase. If this isn't screaming middle aged mid-class woman I don't know what else will! Also, I'm loving the simplicity of a long sleeve black tee - it can pair with most anything.  I have made a challenge for myself to not buy any more clothes for the winter (until spring).  Preparing I'm prepping an advent activity calendar. In the past, I had done this when the kids were toddlers. Here's a post of toddler advent activity ideas to make your own little advent calendar of fun things to look forward to.  The Jesus Storybook Bible and their advent guide for reading the stories in December  Eating Roasted Squash with bacon (pin the recipe right here) The cookbook for all that has some of the best gluten free baking I've ever had! Canelle et Vanille by Aran Goyoaga. Our family fave are the Buckwheat Crepes.  Doing I've been doing a lot of sitting - work is a sedentary activity for me. So I am challenging myself to do the the seven minute workout on Alexa (say 'Alexa, start seven minute workout'). Here is a very similar one on Youtube.   Don't get stuck in all or nothing thinking when it comes to moving your body each day. Every little bit counts! This week's encouragement to you 

This Christmas won't be like the ones you have curated and cherished. This is a holiday during a pandemic and we are having a universal experience of learning what that can look like.  As moms, we do most of the Christmas planning. We have gifts lists, treats, parties planned, gatherings set up. This job is often an exhausting one but one that we go through every year because we are always longing for those special moments of joy, hope and connectedness that are possible.  Christmas during covid means the plans we make, the gatherings, the parties are all going to look different.  That is hard to accept. We long for what we know and what feels like Christmas to us.  This year means teaching ourselves new ways to feel Christmas.  If you are like most moms, and myself, it is a hard task to think outside the box, beyond our expectations and get excited about something different when we have this idea in our mind of what Christmas SHOULD be.  The first step here is to acknowledge your expectations. Because here is the issue - we have a lot of expectations - about who does what and how they act and how they feel, and what we will get to do, and all the ideals we have in the back of our mind. We might not be fully aware of them.  But trying to be proactive by noticing them before they go unmet (=resentment) the more we can manage them ahead of time. This includes letting unrealistic ones go, AND taking responsibility for making them happen.    In this episode: * Handling your Christmas expectations  * Where 'all or nothing thinking' can keep you stuck and blocked off * Two things that can bring more intentionality into your Christmas: values and the bucket list * How to use these two things in a way that works for you and your family * Letting yourself feel disappointed about the Christmas you had hoped for * Finding ways to take your power back and plan a Christmas you can get excited about   All of this is unpacked in the Simple Christmas Planner. Which is designed to walk you through designing, planning and DOING your Christmas with intention and in a way that works for you and your family. Because the goal is to have a Christmas season that you can SHOW UP for, one that you can feel present for, one that you can actively enjoy in the moment! This doesn't JUST HAPPEN, you need to do it with intention.    Full transcript at the bottom of this post.    Links mentioned: The Live your VALUES worksheets The Facebook community group Say hi on Instagram The ON PURPOSE workbooks (Simple Christmas Planner)   Episode Transcript Episode main topics: Christmas, expectations, planner, kids, plan, values, Christmases, year, excited, happen, podcast, family, simple, talk, list, intentional, feel, purposeful, bucket list, purpose Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast! This podcast is your check-in your regular reminder, your regular coffee date with me, where I remind you to bring it all back to simplify, slow down and show up for your life, the life right in front of you, you are allowed to enjoy it.