Parenting Today’s Teens

#2085 What if every time you got pulled over for a speeding ticket … the cop just let you off the hook? Or whenever you missed a credit card payment … they never charged you any late fees? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Now, that might sound like a dream come true to you. But the fact is … rules and consequences become completely ineffective unless they’re carried out! So if you’re trying to curb your teen’s misbehavior, start by laying down some boundaries. Then, the next time he crosses the line … be a man or woman of your word … and follow through! Will your teen test you? Absolutely. So be prepared to stand your ground. He may grumble and complain now … but one day, he will thank you.

#546 – Student Story: Lindsey Have you noticed that kids today seem more worried than in past generations? It’s not just you! Today’s teens are struggling with a heightened level of stress and anxiety. And they need their parents’ help to deal with it. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston advises parents on how to help their teens overcome anxiety.

#2084 Has your teen been spending more and more time with friends … and less and less time at home? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Often, parents feel hurt or slighted when their kids no longer want to do things with them … and hanging out with mom and dad stops being cool. But as painful as those moments may be, it’s actually a good thing! Kids naturally begin to move away from their parents as they grow up and mature. And their desire to spend less time at home is typically a sign of healthy independence. So be willing to loosen your grip as your teen begins to spread her wings. And continue to be a presence in her life … one that offers guidance and limitation when necessary, and grants freedom and responsibility when appropriate.

#2083 Mistakes are obviously best avoided. But part of growing up is understanding that nobody’s perfect … not even parents! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. It’s inevitable that everyone fails. The trick is knowing how to “fail forward.” It means learning from your mistakes … and keeping yourself from repeating them. So here are a few ways you can practice “failing forward” in your own life: First, admit when you’re wrong! Don’t make excuses. Second, apologize to those you hurt. And third, ask your teen what the consequences should be for your own failures … and carry through! Remember, your teen will blow it one day. But if you teach them how to “fail forward” … you’ll give them an invaluable tool for every stage of life.

#2082 Every teen faces identity issues at one point or another. But sometimes for adopted teens, the struggle escalates even higher. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I’ve seen kids pull all kinds of stunts to get questions answered about their past. Some have even tracked down their birth parents online, contacted them unexpectedly, and secretly set up a time to meet! So if you’re an adoptive parent, don’t lose heart when your teen goes through a time of crisis. Their natural curiosity doesn’t mean they stopped loving you … or no longer appreciate everything you’ve done. They’re just a little confused about who they are. So on the good days and the bad, continue to parent your child with the same kind of love you’ve always had. And keep following God’s example of patience, goodness, understanding, forgiveness, and grace.

#2080 Kids and adolescents are playin’ around with dangerous substances … even the junk they find in God-fearing homes! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents are facing a difficult task of raising kids in a culture that’s bent on creative inventions. Look … teens are hunting for any possible way to get high. They abuse prescription drugs and common household items. And some of these substances are even riskier to use than the better- known street drugs! The biggest danger, though, comes when parents refuse to believe that their child might be using in the first place. It’s called denial. So Mom, Dad … don’t stick your head in the sand and pretend that your teen knows better than to experiment! Stay alert … and remain the protective parent your child desperately needs.

#545 – Student Story: Jaclyn If parenting wasn’t hard enough already, parents now have to navigate the challenging world of cell phones. How old should kids be before they get a smart phone? And how can parents encourage healthy screen-time habits? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston conducts a practical Q&A about kids and cell phones.

#2079 Most of us wish that the positive transformation of our teens would happen overnight. But that’s not the way it works! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. It’s easy to become so overwhelmed by the major problems with our teens’ behavior … that we fail to recognize progress. The key is to be patient … and celebrate the little victories. Now, progress doesn’t mean “problem solved.” Rather, it’s a steady trend toward improvement. If your child was screaming at you every day … and now only yells at you every other day … hey, that’s progress! If your child finishes some of his homework … when he previously did none … that’s progress, too! Remember, turnarounds rarely happen overnight. So make sure to applaud every step in the right direction … even the baby steps.

#2078 Are you the mother or father of a struggling son or daughter? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Most teenage problems are caused by hormones, immaturity, and brain development. So if your son or daughter is going through a rough time, here’s some good news: it’s just a phase! And it won’t last forever. In the midst of the turmoil, continue to reach toward your teen with love and grace … even when they don’t deserve it. And over time, your relationship will change for the better. Remember, God never gives up on us … even though we constantly blow it. Instead, He gives grace. As parents, we must be willing to do the same. Mom, Dad, make it crystal clear to your teen … “I will never, ever give up on you … no matter what!”

#2077 No parent wants to see a child bring home an ugly report card! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Okay, not every student will earn straight A’s! But if your teen is failing to follow through on basic responsibilities … like completing homework on time or showing up to class … it’s time to deliver some consequences. Let him know that from now on, he’ll lose privileges when he misses assignments or when his grades drop. A few weeks without a cell phone or videogames can go a long way in teaching responsibility. Hey, I know it’s hard to step back and let your teen face the outcome of his actions. But believe me when I say he’ll be thanking you later! Your son doesn’t need to be the valedictorian! But he needs to practice the basic disciplines of learning.

#544 – Student Story: N/A We live in a “what’s in it for me” kind of society. And it’s creating a generation of teens who thinks the world revolves around them. So, what can parents do to fight back against this toxic mentality? This weekend on Parenting of Teens, Mark Gregston shares five ways to create a culture of selflessness at home.

#2074 The scars we receive from bullies never fade … even as adults. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I’m convinced that the escalating conflicts with bullies will never end … until parents step in and model what’s right. And right now, I’d like to pray for all of us … as we guide our teens. Father, show us how to help our kids. Teach us to intervene. Like You … allow us to become their great protector. We want to walk beside them if they’re being bullied … and we want to rebuke them if they dare offend others. Sarcasm and biting criticism are never part of Your character. It’s never Your will that we would willfully offend or hurt the innocent. So help us to become models of Your mercy, love and grace. Father, empower us to engage our kids as never before. In Your Son’s name we pray. Amen.

#2073 When disrespect in your teen rears its ugly head, it’s time to make sure everyone understands the rules for fighting fair. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Disagreements are a natural and important part of healthy relationships. But teens need to learn how to argue with respect. So if you’ve got a disrespectful teenager at home, here’s the kind of message you can deliver: “We love you, and that will never change. But we won’t allow you to talk to us that way anymore. We understand your need to argue your opinion, but there’s a better way to do it. So from now on, disrespectful words or actions will not be tolerated. And we’ll throw in some extra consequences to boot.” Make sure your teen clearly understands that you’re willing to listen … but you’re not a punching bag. Some day … he will thank you.

#2072 If the paint on the side of your house began to peel … or the roof started leaking … or your porch light burned out … would you just sit around and do nothing? Of course not! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When things start to fall apart around the house, we instinctively grab a screwdriver, reach for a paintbrush, or do whatever it takes to get things back in order. And in like manner … our relationships need maintenance, too! Has your relationship with your teen become damaged by conflict, tension, or poor communication? Sounds like it’s time for a little home improvement! Take on this important do-it-yourself project … before it’s too late. Read a good book. Attend a helpful seminar. And above all … keep reaching out to your teen.

#2071 When every conversation with your teen about rules and boundaries turns into a battle of wills … it’s easy to feel like tossin’ in the towel. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Teens are known for testing boundaries. But it is possible to handle their moans and rolling eyes in a way that maintains relationship … without backing down. And one of my favorite ways to do that is with the word “nevertheless.” Here’s how it works. Instead of saying, “No, you can’t go see that movie.” Say, “Sweetheart, I’m aware your friends think it’s a great movie, and they may be right, nevertheless … our rule is that we don’t watch R-rated movies.” So the next time you get pushback from your teen over rules or curfew … try responding with “nevertheless.” You’ll be amazed how one simple word can turn the tide.