Parenting Today’s Teens

#2098 Recently, I came across an interesting Time magazine cover. It pictured a child standing like a puppet, with his arms and legs attached to strings … presumably controlled by a parent above. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Well, it seems the world is finally catching on to the folly of over-parenting. I’m talking about the moms and dads who hover over their kids 24/7 … while bending over backwards to meet their every need. What these parents don’t realize, though, is that every little thing they do for their kid … is one more thing they may never learn to do for themselves. So if you’ve been guilty of over-parenting, or smother-mothering … now’s the time to cut the strings! Step back … let go … and give your teen the freedom he needs to become the adult he was meant to be.

#2097 Now don’t get me wrong. Having a strong relationship with your teen is critically important. But sometimes we take it to an unhealthy extreme. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Even though parents know the value of discipline, many of us have a hard time actually following through. We’re worried about retaliation. Or breaking our friendship. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.” Think of it this way. Over his lifespan, 80% of your son’s life will be spent away from home. And he’s counting on you to prepare him for the demands of adulthood. Mom, Dad, your son doesn’t need another friend. Your son needs a parent. So do the hard thing. In the end, you’ll be pleased with the outcome. “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace.

#2096 According to a recent study, close to 60% of our kids quit going to church after age fifteen. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. So what’s the reason behind this mass exodus? Well, I’m sad to hear that many teens see the church as judgmental and irrelevant. To many, the church looks like an elite country club … and those who don’t fit the mold are denied acceptance. Furthermore, kids who struggle often feel alienated at church. And left with a deep sense of shame. Of course, we know these views are skewed. But before we rush to judgment, let’s make sure we have open conversations with our teens about the value of church. Together, as adults, let’s make sure that church remains a safe place for our kids to find acceptance, forgiveness, and love. They need it. And so do we!

#2095 How do you handle those inevitable moments when your teen begins to doubt?  Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens.  From her earliest days, you convince your little girl that she can accomplish anything.  Opportunities are limitless.  And the world is her oyster.  But as kids move from childhood to adolescence, they naturally become introspective and insecure.  And sometimes her private thoughts get a little dark, like … “Why am I here?  And what’s my purpose?” So if your teen starts posing these daunting life questions … don’t panic!  This search for meaning is one of the most empowering stages your teenager will ever go through.  Help her uncover her talents, strengths, and passions … as she embarks on a lifelong quest for purpose.  Self-confidence rarely comes without a season of self-doubt.  Mom, dad … don’t rescue your daughter.  Instead, help her through it.

#548 – Student Story: Matt Does every confrontation with your teen end in a yelling match? Do you feel like you’re living in a constant war zone? There are better ways to handle conflict! This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston teaches parents how to control their anger and resolve conflict in a healthy way.

#2094 We’re witnessing a generation of teens who’ve become addicted to their personal rights! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. More and more kids today believe they’re entitled to anything and everything. They want more, demand more, and expect more than any other generation. So how do you keep your teen from thinkin’ he rules the world? First, you need to quit feeding his world view! Stop doing everything for your teen. Quit jumping every time she says “frog.” Instead … tell him that it’s time to start doing things for himself. Let him wash his own laundry for a change. Or cook a meal for the whole family. Your teen may roll his eyes. Your daughter may throw a fit. But if you stick your guns … your child will slowly understand the world order. The universe does not spin under their control!

#2093 We’ve all grown wiser from our mistakes and failures over the years. But unfortunately, there’s no short cut for our kids. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Yep, in most cases … our teens cannot truly grow up until they feel the painful consequences of their own failures. We shouldn’t be so shocked when our kids made a dumb mistake. All of us are born with an infinite capacity to mess up. Gratefully, God has an infinite capacity to forgive! So the next time your teen blows it big time … and trust me, there will be a next time … continue to reach out in love. That doesn’t mean you sweep stuff under the carpet and ignore it. But while you’re cleanin’ up whatever mess they’ve caused, be sure your teen knows you’re ready to forgive.

#2092 When your teen messes up big time … what in the world do you say? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Well, Mark Twain said, choose your words carefully! He said, “The difference between the exact right words and the almost right words is like the difference between lightning bugs and lightning bolts.” Hey, it’s easy to love your teen when everything’s going well. But it’s a whole lot different when they bust your rules, trounce over your boundaries, and still have the audacity to ask you for cash. So the next time your teen makes a royal blunder, don’t say something that’ll jeopardize your relationship. Don’t resort to toxic remarks and judgment. Instead, tell your teen exactly what he needs to hear: “There’s nothing you can do to make me love you more, and nothing you can do to make me love you less.”

#2091 In 1988, I worked for a wonderful ministry in Branson, Missouri. I thought things were going great … until out of nowhere came these three words: “Mark, you’re fired!” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Later that week, one of my dear friends said to me, “Mark, this is going to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.” Now, that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me at the time. But today, I can look back and see the silver lining. If I never lost that job … I would have never founded Heartlight Ministries! So if you’re feeling defeated or lost or hopeless today, you may not understand why. But the struggle with your teen is part of God’s plan. This season of testing could be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.

#2090 The late Rodney Dangerfield’s “I don’t get no respect” jokes were pretty funny. But it’s no laughing matter when a teenager is disrespectful toward his parents. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. While it’s true that you can’t force your child to respect you … treating someone with respect is an entirely different matter. Showing respect is a conscious decision … regardless of whether you like someone or not. And expecting our teens to be respectful should have nothing to do with how they feel at the moment. So if your teen’s been showing signs of disrespect, let him know that things are gonna be different from now on. The longer you wait to address the problem, the worse it will become. Requiring respect now will teach your teen to apply civil behavior in all areas of life.

#547 – Student Story: Aiden Teenagers are known for being angst-filled and moody. But in some cases, a teen’s persistent negativity may be a sign of a bigger issue. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston explains how to spot signs of depression in teens—and what moms and dads can do to help.

#2089 Years ago, I heard a man on the radio that I’ve been a fan of all my life. My good friend Chuck Swindoll said: “I want three simple words on my gravestone … ‘Dad was fun!’” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I gotta tell ya, I was a little surprised! I thought Swindoll would prefer something profound … like, “America’s beloved preacher.” Maybe a testament to his spiritual depth, or his amazing provision as a dad. And here’s one of the most godly men I’d ever known talking about how he wanted to be remembered for his playfulness. Since then, I’ve come to realize that laughter is another form of worship. So take a page out of Chuck Swindoll’s book. Have some fun. Loosen up a little. Tell a joke! Nothing will bring a quicker connection with your teen than sharing a good laugh!

#2088 While I applaud parents who put child locks on TV channels and safeguards on the Internet … the reality is that kids can and do access inappropriate content elsewhere. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. More than ever, parents and teens need to have frank discussions about things like drugs, sex and alcohol. Surprise your teen by cutting to the chase. You may think such topics are uncomfortable and inappropriate. But that won’t stop kids from the talking at school, texting each other, and posting things online. So stop trying to completely shelter your teen from worldly influences. Believe me when I say it doesn’t solve the long-term challenge! Rather, start training your child to guard his heart. The rewards will be rich as you watch him develop into a responsible, godly young man.

#2087 In grade school, it starts with kids making up wild stories while keeping their fingers crossed behind their backs. But as time goes on, many teens fall into a deeper pattern of lying, cheating, and intertwining the truth with fiction. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Kids lie for the same reasons as adults … to lift themselves up, to get ahead, or to protect themselves and avoid consequences. What they rarely realize is that this short-term solution … often leads to long-term problems. So if lying has become a way of life for your teen, don’t think it’ll just go away over time. Mom, Dad, confront fibbing while you still can! Don’t let them get away with bending the truth. Otherwise, you may be dealing with even bigger issues in the years to come.

#2086 Lying, aggression, anger, mood swings, new friends, changes in sleep patterns … all of these are red flags that your teen may be abusing drugs. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When I was growing up, parents didn’t worry about drugs until their teens got to high school. But these days, kids are beginning to experiment at younger and younger ages. So, if you’ve got a hunch about your teen’s behavior, don’t be afraid to administer a drug test every few weeks, unannounced. Even if they squeal in protest! Your teen needs need to know how serious you are about keeping drugs out of their life … even if it means putting them in rehab or reporting them to the authorities. Better a few days behind bars than a lifetime in the grip of drugs.