Parenting Today’s Teens

#2070 A stepparent’s job is never easy. And unfortunately, it only gets harder when your stepchild hits adolescence. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. No matter how much loving care you give … all too often stepparents experience rejection and anger from their stepchild. A stepparent becomes the target of the teen’s regret. It might come from her sense of loss. She might even believe—incorrectly—that her life would be much happier and problem-free if you’d never come along. So if tensions are high right now between you and your step-teen … take heart. Though you can’t force her to stop thinking the way she does … her feelings of loss won’t go on forever. And one day, she’ll understand the other side … and see you as her solution … not her problem.

#543 – Student Story: N/A Summer is nearly over and a new school year is just around the corner. So, what’s your game plan for making it the best school year yet? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers five ways to develop a meaningful relationship with your teen over the upcoming school year.

#2069 Some families let arguments and fighting tear them apart. But in reality … conflict can pull a family together! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When handled properly, conflict can actually improve relationships. People who stick together through thick and thin become closer by the end. In fact, some of the teens I recall most fondly are the ones who made me want to pull my hair out! Engaging, rather than avoiding, will teach your teen how to manage conflict well years down the road. Rest assured, the day will come when they have their first fight with a future roommate, employer, spouse … and child, too! So don’t shy away from conflict with your teen. When it’s time to get in there and fight for something you believe in … create a model for resolution they will never forget.

#2068 I can still remember the day I brought home all A’s on my report card—except for one B—and my dad wanted to know, “Why isn’t this one an A?” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Man, my dad’s comment really took the wind out of my sails. Hey, it’s only natural for parents to want to see their child excel in academics. And there’s nothing wrong with encouraging them to do their best. But no one needs to feel like their grades are the ultimate measurement of their worth. Mom, Dad … make sure your teen knows she’ll always be loved … whether she brings home A’s and B’s … or C’s and D’s. Don’t belittle your son for missing the mark. Ten years from now, no one will ask to see your teen’s report card. But your teen will forever remember your love.

#2067 According to a recent study, nearly thirty percent of kids in middle and high school are bullied. But only fraction will ever report it. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I’ve talked to students who were bullied for being adopted, for struggling in school … even for having a mom or dad pass away. There’s truly no wound too deep for a bully to avoid. They spot the pain … and go right for the target. Yet most kids rarely report getting bullied. Sometimes they’re too ashamed to admit it … or they’re afraid of looking weak. Other times, they fear retribution and ridicule. Parents and teachers should be on the lookout for bullies. We might never suspect what’s going on … unless we ask. Find your son or daughter clamming up? Going into isolation? Ask the question. It’s our role to protect our teen.

#2066 Are you getting tired of policing your teen … to make sure he gets his homework done? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Here’s something I tell the kids that live with me at Heartlight: “I don’t care about your academics. If you want to graduate on time, then graduate on time. And if you want my help, I’m happy to do anything I can.” Now, you and I know that I’m greatly concerned about their academic work. But I make it their responsibility to get it done. They know I’m willing to help them in the process … but I’m not gonna do the work for them! Mom, Dad, let your child take responsibility for his schoolwork … even if it means letting him fail. The lessons learned from a D or F today … will keep him from failing in the future.

#2065 How do you love an adult child who’s making terrible life choices? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Suppose you learn your adult child is having an affair … or she’s convicted of shoplifting. What if your son starts using drugs? Or your daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock? These scenarios might sound crazy to you right now … but moms and dads all over the country face these shocking surprises every day. I hope you never find yourself in their situation. But if you do … remember that God still calls us to embrace our sinful kids … and offer them love, guidance, and wisdom. Even when they’re adults. It’s your compassion, not your rejection, that will guide your adult kids back to Him. Mom, Dad, no matter your disappointment … point the way back home.

#542 – Student Story: Katie Are your platitudes and words of wisdom falling on deaf ears? Maybe you need to spend less time talking … and more time listening! This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston teaches parents how to open up the lines of communication with their teens by being better listeners.

#2063 The famous author Leo Tolstoy once wrote, “Everyone thinks of changing the world … but no one thinks of changing himself.” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents usually come to see me when their family’s in a time of crisis. When relationships aren’t working out. And when things at home desperately need to change. Some parents assume that a few months at the Heartlight residential counseling program is all their teen needs to get back on track. But fairly quickly … they realize that change is a two way street … and parents have just as much work to do as their teens. Mom, Dad … do you wish things were a little different at your house? Before you try to change the world … before you begin to shake down your child … think of how to change yourself.

#2063 It doesn’t matter how good a parent you are. There are forces at work in today’s culture that can send your teen spinning out of control! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Maybe you’ve just gone through a shouting match with your teen … and you’re asking yourself, “What just happened?” Maybe you’ve just discovered something ugly on his computer. Or, maybe you caught your daughter lying to your face. To all of this, two simple words come to mind … When your family’s in chaos … don’t quit! When your teen says he hates you … don’t quit! When it’s 3:00 a.m. … and you have no idea where your teen is … don’t quit! Whatever your situation … remember … God hasn’t overlooked you. Rest in His presence. And never, never, never quit.

#2062 Parents need to spend a little less time nagging … and a little more time creating a peaceful harbor for their kids! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When our teens get home from school, we’re like, “You need to do this … and you need to meet this expectation … and this is what we want from you.” And they’re just looking at us going, “Man, can I never get a break?” So here’s my challenge to you this week: Monday, Wednesday, Friday … go ahead and correct your teen. Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday … don’t make any negative comments. And Sunday … give it a rest! Push too hard and you will live to regret it! Let your teen breathe! Assure him that under your roof … he will find a safe place to rest.

#2061 If your energetic little boy has become a terror … or your sweet little girl is teetering on the brink of disaster … it’s easy to lose hope. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When you’re struggling with a wayward teen, it can feel like your world is turning upside down. Everything you’ve dreamed about has been dashed. It makes you feel like a failure. Well, over the past thirty years, my wife Jan and I have spent countless hours with teens and their parents. We’ve seen God do some incredibly amazing things. And what I’ve learned is this: God is faithful. In the darkness … there is hope. Listen … you may be feel like a complete failure today … but God still has a plan for your teen and your family … no matter how desperate the situation may seem

#2060 Mom, Dad, trying to empower your teen for a successful future? I’m gonna surprise you with one of the keys! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. One of the biggest mistakes I see parents making today is keeping their kids too busy with after-school activities. They’ve got no time left for a part-time job! And kids who get their first job after high school can hardly cope with the simple disciplines. Nothing will teach a teen about life and making a livelihood more than punching the clock for a few hours each week. Flippin’ burgers. Or scooping ice cream. An hourly wage will reinforce invaluable skills … like time-management, personal finance, and effective communication. It doesn’t matter whether they need the money or not. Mom, Dad … let your teen get a job!

#541 – Student Story: Lucas Do you struggle to get your teen to do his homework, help with chores, or get out of the house? You can’t know how to help him until you know what’s behind the behavior. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents identify the reasons behind their teens’ lack of motivation and provides action steps for each type of scenario.

#2059 When your teen gets home from school, do you typically ask questions like, “Did you finish your homework?” Or “How was the test?” Chances are, you’re totally missing the point! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When I was in high school, I didn’t do very well with grades. In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit that I rarely cared about them at all! To most people, though, grades are important … and for a good reason. They’re considered a standard measure of progress … and indicate how a student will perform in the future. Hey, I know that every parent wants to see their kid succeed. But don’t make the mistake of confusing grades with personal value! Relax a little. Let academics take the back seat … and pour your attention into developing a meaningful relationship with your teen.