We Hate Movies

In this week's episode, the gang suits up with Batman and Robin to tackle the absurd and obnoxious Batman Forever! How on Earth did Andrew think Jim Carrey was the "best part" of this movie? Why is Nicole Kidman's character such a sex-crazed lunatic? And how useless is Pat Hingle? Plus: Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin as you've never seen them before! Batman Forever stars Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman and Chris O'Donnell; directed by Joel Schumacher. Music - Kiss From a Rose by Seal Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang witnesses the next level of creepitude with the David Schwimmer stalker film, The Pallbearer! Where does the Woody Allen homage end and the 1990's indie drama begin with this thing? How does Gwyneth's character find Schwimmer's character charming? And at one point does living with your mother go from down-on-your-luck to just flat-out eerie? Plus: we welcome a new WHM character, Cloudy, David Schwimmer's anthropomorphic rain cloud that provides him with solid life advice! The Pallbearer stars David Schwimmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael Rapaport, Toni Collette, Michael Vartan and Barbara Hershey; directed by Matt Reeves. Music - Harvest Moon by Neil Young Direct Download

In this week's extra-long episode, the gang celebrates the 100th episode of the show the only way they know how: by making fun of an extra-bad Jim Belushi movie! That's right, the gang tackles Taking Care of Business, one of the most requested Belushi films in show history. What is Jim's end game this time? Why is Charles Grodin such and afterthought in this movie? And would Captain Picard and the Next Gen crew be able to tolerate a holographic Jim? Plus: Andrew reads a letter from Jim. Taking Care of Business stars James Belushi, Charles Grodin, Loryn Locklin, Gates McFadden, John de Lancie, Hector Elizondo and Mako; directed by Arthur Hiller. Music - Cannonball - The Breeders Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang gets bone-jacked into the dystopian year 2009 with Emilio Estevez and Mick Jagger in the sci-fi snoozefest, Freejack! How often are people escaping from these bonejackers? Is Emilio too short for action movies? And where did Mick get that fancy red tank? Plus: Eric Szyszka's Baby Farm! Freejack stars Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger, Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins, Jonathan Banks and David Johansen; directed by Geoff Murphy. Music - Dead Man's Party - Oingo Boingo Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang hits the slopes with the sex-less, comedy-less, skiing sex comedy, Aspen Extreme! Why doesn't this film have an outright villain? Where are all the Ski Bum/Ski Bunny sex shenanigans? Where is all the extreme? Plus, Andrew reveals his absolute dream job. Music - Alright - Supergrass Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang gets into a rumble with James Spader and some dance-crazy gang members in the genre-melting-pot, teen drama, Tuff Turf! What is the deal with that piano number? Where did RDJ get those dogs? And don't you want to party with Jack Mack & the Heart Attack? Tuff Turf stars James Spader, Robert Downey Jr., Kim Richards and Paul Mones; directed by Fritz Kiersch. Music - So Tuff - Jack Mack & the Heart Attack Direct Download

Recorded live at the People's Improv Theater as part of the New York City Podfest, the gang goes live as they take down the Steven Seagal environmental thriller, On Deadly Ground! What accent is Michael Caine trying to do? Did Steven Segal work for the CIA? Or was it the NSA? Or maybe the DOD? And does everyone remember that dungeon story? On Deadly Ground stars Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, Joan Chen and John C. McGinley; directed by Steven Seagal. Music - It's a Disaster - OK GO Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang concludes the Worst of 2012 month with the romantic comedy/espionage stinker, This Means War! Are these two guys the biggest psychotics in recent rom-com memory? How in the world are the CIA's resources being squandered like this? And could Mark Duplass have stepped in and saved this picture? This Means War stars Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Chelsea Handler; directed by McG. Music - This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang goes direct-to-DVD for the next entry in their Worst of 2012 month with the brain dead sequel, Tooth Fairy 2! How creepy is it that Larry the Cable Guy is ripping teeth out of children's heads? What kind of debt is this recreation center in? And who would play the Tooth Fairy better: Larry or Guy Fieri? Rock and roll! Tooth Fairy 2 stars Larry the Cable Guy, David Mackey, Erin Beute and Brady Reiter; directed by Alex Zamm. Music - Fist, Teeth, Money - Poliça Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang hits absolute rock bottom with the latest entry in their Worst of 2012 series, Alex Cross! Why does this movie try to make Cross into Sherlock Holmes? Who approved of the film's anti-women message? And did no one catch the fact that this film completely rips off Robocop in almost every way aside from having an actual robotic cop? Alex Cross stars Tyler Perry, Ed Burns, Matthew Fox and Jean Reno; directed by Rob Cohen. Music - Closer to Free - BoDeans Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang continues their quest to rip apart the worst films of 2012 by tearing into the John Cusack crapfest, The Raven! Why is John Cusack yelling every line at the top of his lungs? How lame is this murderer's reveal? And just how ludicrous is that P.S. ending? The Raven stars John Cusack, Luke Evans, Alice Eve and Brendan Gleeson; directed by James McTeigue. Music - Angry Johnny - Poe Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang kicks of their Worst of 2012 month with the fourth entry in a never-classic franchise, Step Up Revolution! How on Earth does The Mob think that YouTube hits are the only way to the Top? Why does the film try to portray these kids as destitute when they have such expensive equipment? Plus: Poor, poor, poor Peter Gallagher. Step Up Revolution stars Kathryn McCormick, Ryan Guzman, Misha Gabriel and Peter Gallagher; directed by Scott Speer. Music - Do You Wanna Dance? - as performed by The Ramones Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang decorates the WHM tree with the terribly, terribly, terribly sad Christmas film, One Magic Christmas! Why does Mary Steenburgen's life have to be so incredibly horrible? Why doesn't this Christmas angel do a better job of helping out? And why are Santa's helpers an army of recently dead? WARNING: This film is insanely depressing. One Magic Christmas stars Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton, Elias Koteas and Jan Rubes; directed by Phillip Borsos. Music - I Won't Be Home for Christmas - Blink 182 Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang taunts the impending apocalypse by bashing the 1991 loon-fest, The Rapture! Will the end of the world actually have this poor production value? Should Mimi Rogers have picked up that hitchhiker? And Andrew explains why he and David Duchovny could never wed. The Rapture stars Mimi Rogers, David Duchovny, Patrick Bauchau and James LeGros; directed by Michael Tolkin. Music - The End of the World - The Cure Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang gets into the holiday spirit with the wretched, Chanukah-ish themed comedy, Eight Crazy Nights! Who on Earth thought this was funny? Why does Sandler have to be so darn cool? And yeah, that Chinese restaurant owner is a pretty racist character, huh? Eight Crazy Nights stars Adam Sandler, Adam Sandler, Kevin Nealon, Jon Lovitz and Adam Sandler; directed by Seth Kearsley. Music - Hava Nagila - as performed by Dick Dale Direct Download