We Hate Movies

Hey, remember our side show, A Side Order of Sleaze? No? Well, you're in luck! We're back with an all-new sleazy side order just in time for Thanksgiving! Hooray? On this episode (recorded a while back, but never released), Andrew and Eric discuss the ridiculous 1979 college comedy, H.O.T.S.! What is with that robot? Why does the Mafia have to get involved? And did we really need that football game at the end? H.O.T.S. stars Susan Kiger, Lisa London, Pamela Jean Bryant, Kimberly Cameron, Donald Petrie and Danny Bonaduce as "Manny Tronaduce"; directed by Gerald Seth Sindell. If you dig this and other side shows like, Animation Damnation and On-Screen, be sure to pick up our app or bookmark our bandcamp page! Direct Download

On this week's episode, the gang gets skeeved out by the ultra-white, 90s, domestic thriller, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle! How in the world did the news station show our protagonist's picture on TV? Why do they keep singing lines from The H.M.S. Pinafore? And why won't this husband get mad?! PLUS: How you don't act at a surprise party. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle stars Annabella Sciorra, Rebecca De Mornay, Matt McCoy, Ernie Hudson, Julianne Moore and John de Lancie; directed by Curtis Hanson. Direct Download

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang tackles the heavily requested, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue! How much weed does this kid think he needs? Why did the President and First Lady introduce this thing? And how many kids were actually turned on to drugs by this? PLUS: Why only one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue stars a ton of voice actors who do everything else and it was directed by Milton Gray, Marsh Lamore, Bob Shellhorn, Mike Svayko and Karen Peterson. Yes, five people directed this thiry-minute cartoon. Be sure to check out other episodes of Animation Damnation and our other bonus shows by picking up our app or visiting our Bandcamp page! Direct Download

The sequel-centric #WHMSpooktacular2014 sadly comes to an end with the "Platoon of Horror Movies", Child's Play 3! Why bother continuing the Andy storyline? Why did Brad Dourif decide on that Nicholson impression? And what is the deal with that barber?!? PLUS: A certain Secundus-chasing actor walks off the set. Child's Play 3 stars Brad Dourif, Justin Whalin, Perrey Reeves, Jeremy Sylvers, Travis Fine and Dakin Matthews; directed by Jack Bender. Don't miss out on catching our live commentary at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon, Friday, 10/31 at 10pm! Passes are still available, so shake a leg! Direct Download

Our #WHMSpooktacular2014 rolls on with the totally pointless teen horror snore-quel, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer! Why does Freddie insist on going to that terrifying clam bake? Who thought up this Jack Black character? And who was asking for all this obnoxious Mekhi Phifer sex talk? PLUS: Can we finally see someone painting a threat in blood? I Still Know What You Did Last Summer stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Brandy, Mekhi Phifer and Muse Watson; directed by Danny Cannon. And be sure to grab your marathon passes to the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon where we'll be performing live! A trip to Muldoon's may follow! And remember: In this horror franchise, one of these sequels is not like the other! Direct Download

In this month's WHM Mail Bag, the gang chats about awkward encounters with angry dads, day jobs for retired Transformers, and their own personal werewolf preferences. If you'd like to hear your weird stories and questions for the gang read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Direct Download

The #WHMSpooktacular2014 rolls on with a trip back to Crystal Lake in the insanely stupid sequel, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday! Why did they think this body swapping thing was a good idea? Where did Creighton Duke learn all this stuff about the supposed Voorhees mythology? And why, oh why, do we need more drama from Crystal Lake townies? PLUS: The leather bondage shaving scene you didn't know you'd get in a Friday the 13th film! Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday stars John D. LeMay, Kane Hodder, Steven Williams, Steven Culp, Kari Keegan, Richard Grant and Erin Gray; directed by Adam Marcus. And don't miss us on Halloween night, Friday, October 31st when we play the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon! Receive $10 off your marathon pass if you purchase before October 24th! Get your passes here! And try to decipher Andrew's clues here! Direct Download

The gang welcomes back comedian and friend Justin J. Case to help kick off the sequel-centric #WHMSpooktacular2014 with the genre-flopping, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D.! What would happen if E.T. went to high school? How did Brian Robbins keep that mullet in check? And do we compensate the widows of C.H.U.D. soldiers? PLUS: We don't give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you deserve, but we give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you need. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. stars Brian Robbins, Bill Calvert, Tricia Leigh Fisher, Gerrit Graham and Robert Vaughn; directed by David Irving. And be sure to catch us on Halloween, 10/31, at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon doing a live commentary to a cult classic we're very familiar with! Get tickets here and bring your friends! Direct Download

In this week's episode, the gang calls an audible in order to tackle the wretched video game adaptation, Double Dragon! Why in the world would you put Scott Wolf in this role? What is with that fat monster? And is Robert Patrick's villain a racist? PLUS: The mystery of which Bruce Steve was thinking of. Double Dragon stars Scott Wolf, Mark Dacascos, Robert Patrick, Alyssa Milano and Julia Nickson; directed by James Yukich. Direct Download

On this week's episode, the gang finally works up the courage to tackle the incredibly stupid Stephen King adaptation, Secret Window! Why did they think casting John Turturro as a menacing Mississippian was a good idea? What's with all the Dorita-chips and Mountain Dew? And did we really need to see that dead dog puppet? PLUS: This fall on TNT: from the minds of Lunch Room comes, Hutton & Dutton! Secret Window stars Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton and Charles S. Dutton; directed by David Koepp. Direct Download

On this episode, the gang celebrates the 20th anniversary of the legendary Timecop! Why did they need those rocket cars to time travel? Why is Ron Silver carrying out this ridiculous time robbery scheme? And how are they not recognizing their one-decade-older selves? PLUS: A twenty year mystery is solved. Timecop stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Mia Sara, Bruce McGill and Gloria Reuben; directed by Peter Hyams. Direct Download

On the season premiere of We Hate Movies, the gang heads back to school with Tom Berenger and Marc Anthony in The Substitute! Why does this movie spend so much time on the botched Cuba mission? Why did Berenger's resume need to be that padded? And what on Earth is up with that bathing suit? PLUS: I'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillherI'mgonnakillher! The Substitute stars Tom Berenger, Ernie Hudson, Raymond Cruz, William Forsythe, Luis Guzmán and Diane Venora; directed by Robert Mandel. Direct Download

Original Air Date: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. On the final WHM Summer Rerun of 2014, the guys look back at one of the all-time fan favorite episodes on Ewoks: The Battle for Endor! This show marks the first appearance of Wilford Brimley on WHM and is the second of three times the guys have ventured into the Star Wars universe. Brimley hates that rabbit. The rabbit hates Brimley. The guys don't entirely hate the movie. Ewoks: The Battle for Endor stars Wilford Brimley, Warwick Davis, Aubree Miller, Siân Phillips, Carel Struycken and Paul Gleason; directed by Jim & Ken Wheat. Direct Download

On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the time they got in the ring with Rocky IV! Everyone agrees that Paulie is Cinema's Greatest Loser. Rocky is out of control arrogant in this movie. And the stones on Stallone to have his titular pugilist essentially end the Cold War by giving a sappy end-of-match speech! Rocky IV stars Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Tony Burton, Brigitte Nielsen; directed by Sylvester Stallone. Direct Download

Original Air Date: October 16th, 2012 On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at one of their favorite Halloween Spooktacular episodes, Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning! While mostly discussing Star Trek: Generations, the guys do manage to find time to chat about the crappy characters, the inappropriate halfway house setting and, of course, God's gift to Cinema: Roy, the psychotic ambulance driver. Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning stars John Shepherd, Shavar Ross, Dominick Brascia and Dick Wieand; directed by Danny Steinmann. Direct Download