Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt
Summary: This is about making friends, nurturing the friendships we do have, and growing a loving community. Friendship is the key to social/economic justice, health, joy, and peace for ourselves and our global family. Fawn and Matt explore the psychology of human connection and how to transform our society to become a friendlier one, by relearning how to make and keep friends in a healthy manner. Through thought-provoking conversations, we are able to show up for one another, seeking wisdom about our society, culture, history, and life experiences. This is a friendship movement meant for the healing and building of a better world for families, corporations, and neighborhoods around the world. Words create coherent energy of compassion, appreciation, love, and respect for all life; ourselves, humanity, and our natural world. Friendship experts Fawn and Matt are here to relay the art of friendship for today's world, creating a kinder society through the Art of Friendship.
Music connects and touches us in ways we never thought possible. In this episode, you will learn: 1. How sound affects us physically and emotionally2. The different ways music can be used as therapy3. How our bodies react to different types of music When a music therapist specializing in LGBTQAI+ issues is asked about their work, they reveal the many ways music can be used to transform us, from the personal to the physical. "Music is simply a vibration. All sound is vibrations created by whatever and they vibrate at different rates and depending on how high or low the note is."Gray Baldwin is a music therapist with over 25 years of clinical experience working with children, teens, adults, and older adults in behavioral health, medical, and hospital settings, as well as in schools and community music therapy settings. They specialize in queer issues, identity development, acute and chronic pain, trauma, and stress, and teach courses on research, music therapy, medical settings, practicum, supervision, mindfulness, ethics, and culturally responsive practices at several universities and colleges. Resources: Resources: www.mainstreetmusictherapy.com firstname.lastname@example.org https://www.thetrevorproject.org https://pflag.org https://gsanetwork.org https://www.glsen.org https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org To find a therapist https://www.inclusivetherapists.com Tedtalk about intersex https://www.ted.
We are joined by Gray Baldwin, MA, MT-BC as we discuss the importance of identity in our society. Gray explains the definitions of LGBTQAI2+ and we have a heart-to-heart talk about healing. If you are going through stuff, this episode is for you to know you are loved and that you are not alone. We are cosmic beings, we are infinite, complex, and simple at the same time, we have infinite possibilities within us, we are the universe kind of beings. We are of the light. We are divine. There's no way you can pinpoint a living being into one thing. We are complex and ever-evolving. And at the same time, I wonder just how important is identity? For me, I feel it's very important to identify my culture, who I am, my skin color, everything, and embrace that and embrace the beauty of that. I have to do that because I feel so discriminated against, that I have to fully embody what I identify with. In another world, in another kind of situation, I would say, why should I? I'm a human being. But at the same, the way I feel is “No, I'm a human being who is of this culture who is of this background.”And it's really important to stick up for where I come from and for who I am and to fully embody that. Resources: www.mainstreetmusictherapy.com email@example.com https://www.thetrevorproject.org https://pflag.org https://gsanetwork.org https://www.glsen.org https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org To find a therapist
Understanding what kindness actually is, as opposed to respect, means learning how we can use both of these things. And when we can use both of these things in our relationships. The word respect comes from the middle English from Latin respectus which means to look at, to regard. from R E, which means back. And then to that, you add S P E C E R E, which means to look at, so to look back on. The definition of respect is a relation or reference to a particular thing or a situation and an act of giving particular attention, consideration, like high or special regard, esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed; a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important or held in high esteem or regard. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. Is respect earned or given? Respect is earned, not given suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. We aren't obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. It's like, You have to go through a series of things to, in a way earn that respect. Whereas kindness is not about earning it. Sometimes you have to be kind to the most hideous person, the most hideous acting person because that's what they need, because we all know that hurt people hurt. People that are in pain want to inflict pain on others. That's all they know. And maybe that's their way of being understood and being heard; when you feel my pain is when you're gonna feel what I'm going through. You will understand me better. It's really messed up, but I think that is unfortunately the way of things in our society. Let's really look at where it actually stems from this whole disrespect thing really starts the way we are raised as babies, the way that as soon as we're born, we have to be put into daycare the way that we just have to fend for ourselves the way we're told you're out by 18, 18, you're out, you better make your own money. You better be out of here. It's saying that you don't belong to the family, that you have to get the heck out. And I understand having a sense of responsibility and becoming independent, but that's a different issue from saying you need to get out. It's disrespectful. And we do it with the elders too. We, we put them in daycare. They're no longer part of the family. They're no longer under the same roof for different reasons. One is, you know, because the, the respect from generation to generation is not really considered, and there's no kindness in there, but there's really no respect. And so, yeah, even when we're not dealing with elders, we barely want to hang out during Thanksgiving. We can barely hang out at a kitchen table these days, because we are so split even more than ever before with our politics, with our right as human beings, as my right, as a woman, totally trampled on by your father. It's just, there's no listening. There's no understanding. There is no compassion or empathy for something that you may not be experiencing in your own life. And so what I was trying to tell my friend was what gets me mad is these people who have no respect and have no, they have no empathy until they experience the pain for themselves. That's the only time that they may consider another point of view is when theirs their life is. So put on the extreme for them to fully be immersed in what they thought they were against for them to understand it. Whereas you have to realize you don't have to live a certain way to understand someone. It takes empathy. It take
We all have a compass needle within us knowing the true north.The direction that points directly toward the geographic north pole. This is a fixed point on the Earth's globe. That is the definition of true north. Like a compass points toward a magnetic field, your personal true north directs your path and pulls you forward to your personal place of perfection. True north is an awareness of direction. It's a guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It's your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north. Are we guided by logic? Are we guided by reason? Are we guided by math; by some rationale that makes perfect sense on paper or are we guided by intuition and feeling? What if the logic and math don't make sense? What if intuition and spiritual guidance that you are asking for is silent? Like, you know, you could be spiritual, you could be religious, you could be whatever. Everyone asks, where am I supposed to go? What is happening? Do I turn right? Or do I turn left? Do I make this decision? Or this decision? What should I do? When you ask, you get that inner knowing of what to do, but what happens when you don't hear anything? It's like a deafening silence. It's a horrible feeling when you can't feel that guidance, when you don't hear or reply to your request. It leaves you with a feeling of being deeply alone. You can be surrounded by people. You can be in the midst of crowds, you know, and feel like you have friends and still feel this way. As we travel in various directions, we use discernment and knowing at our core to actualize our path in life, by tuning to this true north, we feel our power. We feel centered. And we are attuned to our surroundings and to our global cosmic family, which brings us to the art of friendship and true north. Physically being where you're supposed to be is just as important as being somewhere spiritually, being somewhere emotionally as you're true north. So finding the true north and the quest for deeper connection; connection with people, connection with where you're stepping, where you're walking on the earth, connection with the planet, connection with the universe; where are you in it?? How can we reconnect with that? How can we get to that place? For me also, going back to the art of friendship, true north is truly the connection to our global family. It's even more important right now to find your inner true north and connect with your true, true Norths, which are your, your family members that bring you comfort and bring you strength. And so this is the quest today; to find that deeper connection. As we navigate our lives, we experience unknowns. Change is not easy. It's a muscle you have to use and you have to work out. That's why, when, like we have so many people in our lives that are so old and rigid, you know, like Bruce Lee always said, was it Bruce Lee? Who said, be like bamboo, don't be like an Oak tree because bamboo will sway with the wind. But the Oak will break. We can go back to the teachings of Aikido, to be like water. You have to move and conform and change and yourself; mold yourself as you go through, you have to bend, you have to go with the flow and when you don't and this is with ideas, this is with just working out your body. This is with emotions. It's all of that. You have to constantly be with the flow. That's why surfers are so cool because every wave that comes is different and they can ride it instead of being swallowed up by it. And when they do get swallowed up by it, they come back and they ride the next. It's good bec
The whole sense of comfort and having a friend who is your witness in life is that there is a treasure in when you and a friend are not on equal footing when they are not in the thick of things that you're in the midst of. There's a balance. This is a balancing gift. This is one of the many ways the action of comfort can really be felt. Sometimes when friends are not equal, one tends to assume, especially in the beginning when one friend may assume that you're weak or you don't know how to do something because you may not be in that exact state of mind to be showing your expertise. So then they take the role of “I know better” and they assume the role of mentor. And so these roles get established. As time goes on, you develop ways in which you can unfold in front of one another, and you can see your gifts and you can see as time goes on, that one person is strong one moment, the other person is weak and then it flips. It's the turning of the world. It's the rising and setting of the sun. It's the same way with our lives and our experiences and our friendships. Our relationships are like that. Oftentimes you get put in a situation where you're emotionally connected and you're not thinking through things clearly and logically and the other person, your friend can see more clearly, and while they're emotionally connected to you personally, they're not emotionally connected to your problem at the moment. So they can see things more objectively and you're more apt to listen to them because you do have the emotional connection to them so they can help dig you out of your hole. It's one of the few cases where logic can't get you out of a place that emotion has gotten you into. Sometimes it's enough to hit the pause button on your life for 15 minutes. And then jump back into it with a renewed sense and an understanding that the earth is still spinning around the sun. It's still spinning around the universe and everything. It's good to actually get back to that sense of perspective because sometimes it is just that the dishwasher broke where that seems like such an enormous ginormous unsolvable problem, but really, it's good to have somebody remind you that everything has a solution. This is where comfort comes in; how our friendships are a source of comfort.So let's get into the definition of comfort: from the 13th century, the meaning is to cheer up, console, soothe, to soothe when in grief or trouble; to help, to strengthen. The noun, which originated if you look at the etymology of it, circa 1200 is the feeling of relief in affliction or sorrow, solace, pleasure, and enjoyment. To solace is to help; to strengthen. And isn't that what we do for each other? From old English word in the same sense was frofor, meaning the state of enjoyment resulting from the satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety. And then there's the middle English meaning, which means strength, support encouragement. Dictionary.com defines comfort as a verb to soothe, console, reassure, and bring cheer to. And then the noun is the relief in affliction consolation solace. So what is comfort? Psychologist, Kolcaba, talked about three elements of comfort that revolves around relief, ease, and transcendence. Tune in to this episode on how we can find comfort on our own and within our relationships. https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ https://w
There are three types of friends. There are those people who are friends with you because they get stuff from you. There are those people who are friends with you because of the way you make them feel. And there are the people who just love you. Okay. Those would be the three types of friends and obviously, we would love and if every single one of our friends was quote-unquote type three, who loves us, just cuz.So how do we figure this out?https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/ https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/ How to Tell What Kind of Friend You Have - TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] Fawn: Enjoying your coffee? [00:00:06] Matt: Maybe a little. [00:00:07] Fawn: Hi, good morning. Good morning over here, where we are right now. Good evening. Good afternoon. And hello everyone. How are you? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Ah, welcome back everybody. So, how do you know, how do you know, what kind of friend you have, Matt?? [00:00:26] Matt: How do you know? Well, first, [00:00:28] Fawn: well, first of all, Matt always has a way to spot things out immediately. And then when you ask and then he'll like tell you the most messed up stuff about someone that you think, well, I think is okay, cause I have this Disney or Pollyanna version of the world. And then he'll whisper to me later. How this person is [00:00:51] Matt: no good. Uh, sometimes, sometimes not, [00:00:54] Fawn: well, some, well, I'm just saying like the times I've been totally shocked by your assessment within a few seconds. And the weird thing is you're right. How do you do it? And then when I ask you for advice, you never have anything for me,
Did you know that our cells, (the cells in our bodies) create light? Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons. Photons are tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure when they send impulses to each other. They're communicating through light! "The Energy Codes" by Dr. Sue Morter. A little quote that actually blends into what we're talking about today, about authenticity. A quote from the book: "The key to a fully empowered experience of life is embodying the energy that you are." When I read that to me, I get, to live fully, you have to be fully yourself. Don't hide. Don't try to edit yourself because you're afraid, afraid of not having this friend, or afraid of not having the job. Also, what is the difference between authentic and genuine? We discuss 4 keys to noticing the authenticity in yourself and others. https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/FriendlyWorldPodcast https://www.instagram.com/befriendlyworld/ https://twitter.com/FriendleeBe https://www.linkedin.com/in/fawn-anderson-5139431a6/ TRANSCRIPT The Art of Authenticity [00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back. [00:00:01] Matt: Hello? [00:00:01] Fawn: Hello. How can I thank you for listening and come across in the way that I really feel in my heart. How do I do that? Would that not sounding authentic? How do I do that? [00:00:13] Matt: Uh, yes, authenticity is in a challenging place for me right now. I happen to be, uh, uh, interviewing with different companies. So that's always a tricky thing. Tricky spot [00:00:25] Fawn: I'm in a tricky spot with it myself, because I was being my normal self. I'm an open book and with a friend, if something bothers me, I talk about it in a gentle way. And I felt like the person wasn't hearing me. So I went to the next person in our little tiny circle.
The Japanese aesthetic principle embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things; recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken.Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. (I repeat) Beauty can be found beneath the imperfect surface. Wabi-Sabi W A B I - S A B I Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic principle that embraces the imperfect and impermanent nature of all things. Recognizing beauty in the flawed, the incomplete, and the broken; the beauty of imperfection, the beauty of quote-unquote imperfection, the understanding and appreciation, and respectfor, or of the transience, the imperfection, as we see it and recognizing the beauty of it all. That's Wabi-Sabi.Wabi-sabi stems from the Buddhist understanding of three life principles. One is impermanence. Two is, suffering. Three is emptiness or absence,but the meaning over time has transformed into finding joy in solitude, appreciating nature, lauding, old-age wisdom, accepting that things come and go, and loving them honestly, and deeply while they last. Wabi-Sabi recognizes that nothing lasts forever. And so it is rare and beautiful. Some of the traits include modesty, subtle grace, acceptance,earthiness and peacefulness. We can find wabi-sabi and everything. We can find it in aesthetics like when things are not symmetrical when there's asymmetry happening, that's wabi-sabi. You can find wabi-sabi in poetry. Every word is chosen after careful consideration and carries multiple meanings and intentions. You can find wabi-sabi in pop culturewhen you are seeking the not so perfect. As we, take in wabi-sabi and friendship, let's first look at how to ground ourselves and appreciate our lives as they are; as is; the big dreams, the big plans for the future, and every worry. Appreciate where you are right now. How can we do that? How can you appreciate where you are. That's part of wabi-sabi. Stop worrying about being so perfect.It can block you. It can block you if you're trying to write a book. It blocks you in the art that you create. It blocks you from starting a brand new, beautiful journal when you are afraid to make one mark because you are seeking that perfection and you will end up not making any marks at all. And then if you do make all the perfect marks, does that really show your personality?Does that really show the feeling, the emotion of basically all the things that you need when you're creating art? Stop boring about being so perfect. It blocks you. Highlighting the importance of every moment, even the hardships. Accept things as they are, and as they come. Appreciate your life where it is now and work towards your goals from there. Strive for excellence, but don't get caught up in perfectionism.Live your own perfect life with all its precious imperfections. It sounds like I'm telling you what to do. Really. I'm telling myself what to do right now because we're in the midst of such a limbo that this is why we're talking about what we're talking about today because it's a lesson that I had to make myself sit down and bring to use. Appreciating what doesn't seem so great. Transcript: Wabi Sabi Friend [00:00:00] Fawn: Brilliant moment. It was a brilliant moment for you.
The etymology of "Voice" is explored, plus...why we're so divided as a society, as a country, as a dot dot dot... (fill in the blank). Matt, talks about the techie side of things, how tech is responsible, how it contributed to the division that we're experiencing, and something he found out that is very interesting about the structure of our government that's led to this division, and Fawn's thoughts on why the division exists and how she thinks it's a tool to keep people disempowered. We turn to Ruth Jefferson from Voice of the Middle Ground and speak with her about the state of our society and discuss the art of building community and connections to build a better way. Transcript The Middle Ground [00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, welcome back everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello? [00:00:04] Matt: Hello hello!. [00:00:06] Fawn: We're here. We have a new friend to introduce you to today. Yeah, we do. Before we get into introducing you to this beautiful new friend in your life, I was looking at etymology of certain words again, and I looked up the word voice; The sound made by the human mouth with, see, I don't like it when people or definitions always go to the human being. They don't think that other creatures on the planet have voice. [00:00:37] Matt: Right, right, right. Like my buddy growing up, they had a, they had a parrot that could mimic the mother's voice. [00:00:43] Fawn: Is this the racist parrot or the racist duck? There was a racist duck, [00:00:46] Matt: racist duck. And actually, uh, actually the parrot was racist too. [00:00:50] Fawn: Okay. Fantastic. All right. So. Late 13th century. [00:00:55] Matt: Maybe we should actually describe why, as opposed to just letting that go. [00:00:59] Fawn: What do you mean? Okay. [00:01:00] Matt: It's because they had a neighbor, Bill who
This episode is on the art of the empty cup in many ways. We begin with the breath. So many times we're told to BREATHE! This may be advice that may be causing you more distress. The true way is to NOT TAKE the breath, but ALLOW the breath. This "allowing" works not only with the art of breath, but the art of friendship, and the art of life and creating a happy and fulfilling life. Baby Step - Allowing for Emptiness to Fill the Cup [00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back to our friendly world. Hi everyone. Welcome back. Bonjour! Hello. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Remember we used to go through the whole spiel when we first started recording. Anyway. Hi everyone. Welcome back. We have a baby-step for you today, a short, quick one. You ready? A baby step towards a better friendship, a better society. Are you ready? Okay, it's funny. How, um, I'm just going to get into it. All right. Here it is. Are you ready? Ready? Ready? Here it is. Don't take the breath. Allow the breath. It's interesting. How things come? I was so turned off by the whole yoga world. I was teaching it. I was teaching yoga. I was so done with the environment and the white fragility, I saw that I just, I had to be away from that group, but yoga has been so coming back into my life and I know that I'm going to be teaching again on a massive scale. I've been getting these messages, this one, guess where the message came from. I'll just tell you. You'll never guess it. Well, first of all, I want to, okay. I'll tell you for us where it came from, it came from The Society of Children's Book Authors. They're called SC BWI society of children's book authors. There was an author that was speaking. Her name is Meg Fleming, so lovely. So she was saying that someone was telling her this. It was beautifully woven into the lesson of the day, talking about writing children's books, but that was the message. Don't take the breath, allow the breath. I'm going to get into that in just a second, but I want to say it's really interesting how artists and artists and by artists, I mean, I include the whole family painters, writers, singers musicians, photographers, you know, the whole crew. [00:02:10] Matt: Right. I thought you actually meant our family, which is apropos as well. [00:02:14] Fawn: It's all family, but yeah. one of the classes I was taking with Vanessa, Vanessa Brentley-Newton, who is a beautiful friend of our show, a beautiful friend in our family, one of the classes I took with her one day. She was saying, you know, like when you draw, sometimes you can get really tense holding the pen or the pencil or the tool in your hand. Right. And sometimes it's even hard to draw a straight line because you're so intent on perfection or whatever you get so tight. And I remember her saying specifically, and she's she spoke a
We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go. The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth. We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect! How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other? Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature? Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/ Vanessa's Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c Magasin Sennelier, the art store,the Louvre;store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street, Maison Bossier https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/ the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/the power pose TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray [00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language. If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today. And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday
Sharing stories is the key to bonding. We explain the difference between sharing and telling a story. Then we get to the bad sharing which is another kind of storytelling/sharing (gossip) that destroys our bond, and we use Twitter as an example of how our society has lost the ability to connect. In this episode, we have a solution to bring us back together again. There is a way out of this. There is a way to have a better life, to have a beautiful society. And it's not as hard as you think. You don't have to figure out how to move mountains. You just have to sit in simplicity #Twitter, #gossip, #bonding, #connection, #storytelling, #misinformation, #crazy, #stupid, #the art of friendship, #land of Shinar, #The story of Babel, #Tower of Babel, #fragmentation, #confirmation bias, TRANSCRIPT The Gossipy Friend[00:00:00] Fawn: Yay for us. Hi everybody. Yay for us, meaning all of us together listening right now. Hi everyone. Guess what? I was partaking in a very boring conversation yesterday [00:00:15] Matt: was [00:00:15] Fawn: that with me? You were there, but you were not the reason for the boredom, but you were. I think we were all contributing to the boredom because neither side wanted to talk about anything.Because one side lives and believes radically different than ours. All this [00:00:32] Matt: would be yes, yes. The call [00:00:34] Fawn: with family[00:00:35] Matt: family. [00:00:36] Fawn: So as the conversation was being had on speakerphone and the whole family's at the table, I must admit that I was zoning out ( Matt exclaims sarcastically) and we are surrounded by boxes in our kitchen, at the moment, there was one box that was in front of me and it had in big, big letters "BELONG", like belong B E L O N G. And I started to play like, oh, what other words can I make out of belong? And so I realized with belong, you can create "ONE GLOBE". We all belong to one globe. So I was tripping out on that, the whole conversation; one global. Am I the only one tripping out on that?Isn't that great?!?! Anyway, [00:01:20] Matt: you know, actually, nevermind. [00:01:21] Fawn: No, go ahead. [00:01:22] Matt: Well, I wrote a computer program because that's what I do. And I programmed peoples, I programmed all of the house names of the house into it. And as it turns out, if I scramble up the letters in ALLEGRA, it actually spells like a genus of birds or something random.I mean, it's weird. Yeah, nobody else's full names came out to anything, but,[00:01:43] Fawn: but collectively our names come to "FAME". [00:01:46] Matt: Well, that's the first letter of each [00:01:48] Fawn: that's as complex as I can get.[00:01:50] Matt: I understand. Oh my God. I should get all the letters together. Scramble them up. [00:01:56] Fawn: Okay. Stop. So we digress. We have digressed even before we have started, we have a really good show today.Oh, well, you know, show we have a really important topic we want to talk about. We're really eager to get into. So I'm going to start. And then Matt, you come in. Okay. Matt is covering his mouth cause I told them don't you interrupt me? Let me, let me get my thoughts out first because I am the Chewbacca. I can't play games with people. If you interrupt me, or if you disagree with me or if you win, I get really mad, I, I can't function after that in a normal way.Matt is looking away. All right. So here we go. Initially, we were going to talk about the, what did we call it initially? The title we were going to use[00:02:47] Matt: "The Disagreeable Friend" , [00:02:48] Fawn: "The Disagreeable Friend" , and as we were delving into it, I realized, oh my goodness, this goes back to what we learned some years ago that, people get labeled as crazy or stupid.Right? When you are no longe
Let's look at the word, the concept, and the root of Ikigai, which is about giving everyday meaning and joy. Let's look at the Ikigai. The word Ikigai comes from Iki meaning, life and gai, meaning, value. Ikigai can be interpreted as the values in your life that make it worth living. We're going to talk about how that relates to work, in the corporate world, in the business world, and most importantly, how that works in our lives; with our friendships with our families, with the joy in life. This episode is about Ikigai, joy, happiness, life purpose, how we see the world, Who and What we love, how we make a difference, where we excel, passion, values, possibilities, gifts, the value in life, the art of finding true friendship, the art of friendship, and moving towards a meaningful life.
Ceremony, what does it really mean? What is it? What is a daily ceremony? It's an intentional routine that's connected with how you start, how you move through, or how you end your day, the goal of ceremony is to be aware of time passing, but not to stress out about it;to observe it and notice that it counts. The little things in life, count. Why do we have ceremony? They make life's, essential moments. They may reflect our beliefs, hopes, our traditions, culture, and spirituality. It's a way to bring people together and provide a sense of belonging. A ritual is defined by psychologists as a predefined sequence of symbolic actions. Rituals make us less anxious. Ritualistic practices can help to bring a degree of predictability to an uncertain future. They convince our brains of constancy. It brings about a sense of predictability. TRANSCRIPT The Art of Ceremony [00:00:00] Fawn: Hi, welcome back. We've got a good one for you today. Folks. We've got a great one for you today. Folks. Welcome back everybody to our friendly world. Today we're talking ceremony and I have a whole thing I'm going to go through and Matt's probably going to get mad at me because that's what he does. He has his notes. I guarantee you I've become divergent. So I'm going to start first. And then Matt, you're just going to have to like flow with it. Here we go. The art of ceremony, ceremony as a work of art, I'm here to comfort you. We're here to comfort you, the opposite of people saying; I'm going to challenge you to something. So today I'm going to comfort you with something it's the opposite of, I'm going to challenge you to do something because we all have enough that we're challenged by. Thank you very much. We're challenged enough, taxed enough, overworked, overtired, overdone, We need comfort. There's so much out there that could seem so out of control. Like you have the feeling the sense that there's no rhyme or reason to anything that the world is crazy, if you look at it through the news, or if you listen to certain people. Life can seem out of control, like there's no sense to anything. For us, we just went through a ceremony of the end of life ceremony. Matt's mother passed away. And so I'm looking at Matt's dad and I got an email from your brother, basically saying, you know, this is what dad's been going through. Over the years he's felt a sense of losing control. He gave me a whole list of things that your dad has lost control of. in life, with his body, with just everything in life and that's his perception, right? We all can look at life and we can see things differently depending on how we look at it. What is our thought form? What is our belief system? Our belief systems can create a whole other life from one incident to another. So today we're talking about the art of ceremony and how ritual, ceremony, all of that can really help us with friendship, with feeling connected with turning our lives around and creating the life that we really want. So I looked at the etymology of first ceremony, and then it led me thr
It was about the ceremony. It was about the experience. It was about the grief. It was about the, it was about my mom. It wasn't about these random people. I don't care really don't care. And honestly, don't care. So that's me, but just be careful with your words out there folks. Cause the problem is, is my dad said you are a disappointment, not that very disappointing or I'm disappointed that you're not coming. He said you are a disappointment. Because that's his attempt to define my entire being versus defining an action. So just be careful, be careful at work. I was told very early on by somebody who wasn't particularly wise, but God, he nailed this one. You never say, you know, Bad. You say the work you did today was bad because it's inherently different. You're not ascribing value to the person you're ascribing value to the work the person produces. It's entirely different. This episode is about the friends who are disappointed; the people you can't please, and how to follow your own guidance in life. TRANSCRIPT Fawn: I have things on my mind, and I don't want to lose it because yesterday I said, let's talk about this on the show with, with, with the outbursts that I have been having that I was holding in for a few days. So let's get going before I lose my nerve or just lose it, like whatever. I don't know. Um, all right. If you're about a quick, hello, you're bound to disappoint everybody at some point. So don't worry about. When people say they're disappointed in you, that disappointed friend, not only that today is not about the disappointing friend or, um, well, maybe disappointing friend that could be you. We're going to use ourselves as an example to talk about what we're talking about today to really convey the message out there that you're bound to disappoint others in life. Okay. It has very little to do with you is, is my understanding, because I'll tell you the whole thing and we're going to use ourselves as the example. Matt is leaning back and kind of bracing himself because it's mostly about him today. Um, bear with me. So it's not just the disappointed friend. It is the self-absorbed friends, the distraught friend, the born. Okay. I'm going to put this in quotes, "born of an older generation" friend, the "stuck in the old way" friend. Here we go. So, like I said, living life, living your authentic life, living, what you think is right for you and your immediate surroundings from your perspective, no one else can see your perspective, but you, so when you make decisions based on that, and it's not to say that you don't you're, uh, you're not caring about other people or other situations, you know, most of us are. And that's what makes some decisions so gut wrenching, that's why certain situations in life are so hard. And you waste a lot of time going back and forth because you do see the other perspective, but no one very few people, especially these days have the capacity to put themselves in your shoes and really understand where you're coming from to have compassion, not only for themselves, but for you and why you're making the decisions that you're making. Saying that that's one of the reasons why people get disappointed when you realize really you are responsible for your life, you are responsible for the decisions that you make. You are responsible for seeing your perspective and you have to live by that. And there are consequences. So what does that really mean?