Find The Magic

Is praise a springboard or a trap? Everybody loves praise, right? But not all praise is created equally. Some praise encourages our children to develop grit, confidence, and resilience, while other kinds of praise can hinder our children and discourage their ability to keep trying when things get hard. In this episode, we share some fascinating research about both kinds of praise and discuss the best forms of praise for the overall wholeness for our kids.  We also discuss the benefits of chores and give some tips about how to successfully cultivate hard work and responsibility in your kidlets.  You can find the book that inspired us here:  How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250093635/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u-meDbES0W78H Praise advice from the American Psycological Association: https://www.apa.org/education/k12/using-praise An awesome article about how doing chores makes kids more successful: https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/kids-who-do-chores-are-more-successful-adults-according-to-science.html --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Do you ever feel like you are caught in the trap of overparenting? Today we talk about fostering independence in our kids using inspiration from the book How to Raise and Adult by Julie Lythcott-Hainsworth. As the Dean of Freshman at Stanford University, she spent a lot of time interacting with young adults. She found that despite the best of intentions, many parents are robbing their children of the chance to be their own independent person, and that this epidemic of child-like adults has been on the rise in recent years.  In this episode, we discuss possible antidotes to this issue as our children grow. We focus on independence, wholeness, and emotional resilience.  For a list of age appropriate tasks most kids can complete independently, check out: https://www.familyeducation.com/life/individuality/guide-to-teach-your-child-life-skills-by-age You can find the book that inspired us here:  How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250093635/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u-meDbES0W78H --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

On this episode, Felica offers advice on a few of our common listener questions. She addresses sharing (do we have the teach our kids to ALWAYS share? We don’t as adults...), the lovely bedtime boundaries that we all navigate, and what to do when you have a baby who seems extra “needy”.  Find Felica here - https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We are all trying to do our best as parents, but as we adopt the wholehearted parenting philosophy, we might encounter resistance from people around us. Many of those people are well meaning, and some are not. It can be difficult because parenting is, well, a sensitive subject! And what about those people in our life who spend a lot of time with our kids and use differing parenting styles on them? Today we are going to give some tips to help you through those situations. (Hint: It has less to do other people than you think:). Books we refer to: I Can’t Wait to Go to the Dentist! By Jeanie U. Allen: Amazon.com: I Can't Wait to Go to the Dentist! (9781098890858): Jeanie U. Allen: Books --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We are all trying to do our best as parents, but as we adopt the wholehearted parenting philosophy, we might encounter resistance from people around us. Many of those people are well meaning, and some are not. It can be difficult because parenting is, well, a sensitive subject! And what about those people in our life who spend a lot of time with our kids and use differing parenting styles on them?  Today we are going to give some tips to help you through those situations. (Hint: It has less to do other people than you think:).  Books we refer to:  I Can’t Wait to Go to the Dentist! By Jeanie U. Allen: Amazon.com: I Can't Wait to Go to the Dentist! (9781098890858): Jeanie U. Allen: Books --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We all know that kids need healthy boundaries around screen time, but what about us adults? There are fewer statistics on what it does to our health and brains, but wow—the research that has been done is...alarming. Technology is AWESOME, but it turns out that we adults also need time for intentional connection away from our devices. And whatever boundaries we set for ourselves impacts our own physical and mental health, and our relationships with the people we care about the most. We have an amazing chance to model what living a balanced, wholehearted life can look like with the convenience of smart technology in it while not letting it supersede the more important parts of our life.  In today’s episode, we walk you through the stats to help give you some motivation to find screen time balance for yourself, and then give you some super helpful tips on how to do it. Books and articles we refer to: The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062082434/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_uPq9CbYGF1G1F The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393339750/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_dQq9Cb3ZE75DD https://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpao/multimedia/infographics/getmoving.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fnccdphp%2Fdch%2Fmultimedia%2Finfographics%2Fgetmoving.htm https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/scary-truth-whats-hurting-kids/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/08/06/parents-are-the-ones-who-need-limits-on-screen-time/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.2c2718935e0d https://www.bustle.com/articles/117838-5-things-too-much-screen-time-does-to-your-body --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

 We all know morning routines are important. This time of self care and energy management has the capacity to improve how we feel about our lives and how we show up for the people we love every day. Then why is it so hard sometimes to actually do? Today we are going to give you wake up strategies that you can do within the first 5 minutes of waking that will help you set the habit. We will also tell you is working for us right now in our morning routines that we are loving. We also answer a listener question about a toddler who won’t take no for answer, screaming, crying and hitting to get his way.  Trust us...this is a game changer. Hal Elrod’s bedtime affirmations you can say to yourself before bed: https://m.box.com/shared_item/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.box.net%2Fs%2F6sr22rq0mb Books and other items we mention in this episode: The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0979019710/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_W996CbV1T27NA Blue light blocking glasses for evening TV watching: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072JFMFPG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u896CbPR21YR4 One of Taralyn’s current fave morning herbal tea: Organic Mint tea: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E19WCTS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_R496CbX9XJY0E With Bulletproof Brain Octane oil mixed in: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P8E0QQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_4596CbYVN9YNM You’ve Got Dragons by Kathryn Cave and Nick Maland (not on Amazon) For more parenting and life tips, tricks & inspiration find us on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/  https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Nobody likes it when their toddlers misbehave. But what about older children, tweens and teens? Acting out happens at every age. Misbehavior is often a way kids “ping” to figure out where they stand with you. Most kids are simply disoriented. This reframing of their behavior is liberating for parents! In this episode, we give you examples of how to use connection and rhythms as the antidote to the disorientation that creates misbehaviors at any age and erodes your relationship with your kids. These tips apply to all parenting, but there are a few special tips that will help you as your kids are in the tween and teenager stages. Books we mention: The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne The Entitlement Trap by Linda and Richard Eyre --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Do you find yourself repeating everything a million times or getting into endless arguments with your kids before they will (or won’t) do what you say?! We hope this episode helps! We are going to break down why most kids aren’t responding to their parents requests (key word!) and give you actionable tips to apply when you are giving firm direction. Books we talk about - The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We cling to good experiences in our lives, and we attempt to close ourselves to bad ones. What’s wrong with that? This doesn’t allow either one to flow through us, and we often times end up losing the gift of the present moment when we do that. Have you ever been having a beautiful moment watching someone you love, when along comes a fearful thought about the future of that person to squash that joy? We will explore in this episode how you can stay open to the present moment, and lean into whatever feeling arises, positive or negative. This leads to so much present moment freedom. Books we mentioned: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer, and Radical Acceptance by Tara Branch --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We get more questions about sibling conflict than any other topic! We know that how our kids get along can make or break our days. As parents we are the source of all our kids need, it is natural for them to feel resentment towards their siblings. In this episode we break down our favorite tips for guiding sibling conflict without interfering with their process.  Here are the links of books related to this topic:  Siblings without rivalry  Janet Lansbury Unruffled Podcast --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

In this episode, we delve deeper into how disciplining from a place of true acceptance is far more powerful than from a place based on expectation and control. Acceptance does not mean parenting from a passive stat of allowance of indulgence. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We can still hold our boundaries with strength, but our children will feel at their core that our love for them is not on the line. Today we zoom in on specific, concrete examples to help us as parents be able to release control and really connect with our kids in the present moment. This is where the magic happens. Here are the links of books related to this topic: The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399563970/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_NkCVCbTXCH9RM --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Children are wonderful teachers. We learn so much about ourselves during the journey of parenting. When our kids do something that drives us crazy, it is an opportunity for us to look inside of us. Kids don’t trigger us, we trigger ourselves. This concept is mind blowing once you unlock the theory. Today we explore the concept of how this process of self discovery can free us from expectations. The word expectation often has a positive connotation, but today we will explore how some expectations might be more damaging than we think. As parents, most of us want our kids to be independent thinkers and strong, confident trailblazers. But at the same time, we don’t want them to develop those traits while in our own home, because that might conflict with our own agenda. This mindset creates trouble because we can’t expect our children to become independent the instant they leave the house at 18 years old. Many children get the unintentional message as children: be yourself, as long as that self is the one that we have chosen for you as parents. Our expectations for you are the only ones you are safe to meet. Today we explore the paradox that as we release our children from our rigid expectations (while still setting healthy boundaries and limits of course), we can truly engage with them in the present moment by using powerful intention.These two words, intention and engagement are the antidote for relationship damaging expectation. The books/authors we mention in this episode are: The Awakened Family by Dr. Shefali Tsabary Elevating Childcare by Janet Lansbury --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Today we introduce the concept of The Pause. It is the idea that really first turned Felica on to the concept of wholehearted parenting. It is a quite magical technique that helps make so many parenting situations not only easier but more filled with peace and respect. We cover how it applies to babies, toddlers, and older kids in common parenting pain areas such as fussy babies, toy squabbles, hitting, and tattling. We hope it helps you:). INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

This is the first episode in our series on discipline! We are so excited to guide you through this respectful parenting journey. Even in the moments that seem so simple you can parent with love and respect without compromising your connection to your children. Today we are talking about how to set & hold limits, lovingly! Boundaries are so important as our relationships with our children progress and we will talk about a few ways to set them with babies, toddlers and into childhood. This is a core discipline principle, we can’t wait for you to try it! No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame – https://amzn.to/2OuPW0E Simplicity Parenting – https://amzn.to/2Fv2Zv8 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support