Find The Magic

For many parents, it can be difficult to respectfully parent while still holding strong boundaries. However, sometimes, as we try to avoid being an authoritarian tyrant, we go too far the other way and become permissive lambs without boundaries and our children are left with too much power, which in turn makes them feel unanchored and insecure. In the last few decades, our society has witnessed an upswing in number of children who are, diagnosed or not, dealing with many behavior difficulties. Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions, has spent his career helping these children. He has found a pattern that has helped countless parents and teachers find that balance between being an authoritarian parent and an overly permissive parent. While his book is geared towards dealing with children with mild to severe behavior problems, we have found his tools to be unbelievably helpful as parents to all children. The book that inspired us: Raising Lions: The Art of Compassionate Discipline // Joe Newman Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Does anyone else out there find yourself reaching for an entire box of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (insert your kryptonite here) when you are feeling the big feelings that most of us are experiencing on a daily basis? During times of high emotions, boredom, and overwhelm, we have found ourselves grasping for something to hold on to. In this time, we have found that Gretchin Rubin’s strategy of using healthy treats to care for ourselves has been truly a life saver. Most of us love the idea of good habits in our lives. In her book, Better Than Before, Rubin describes a strategy of using healthy treats to care for ourselves, which actually increases our ability of keep good habits in our lives. When we deprive ourselves of things that we look forward to and bring us pleasure, we can end up feeling depleted and burned out. This often leads us to abandon our good habit pursuits and can lead us to un-healthy treats or numbing (which can bring us pleasure momentarily, but often derail our long term goals and habits). Healthy treats are so wonderful because they are things that both make you feel good in the moment, and feel good after you are finished with them. On the other hand, unhealthy treats are enjoyable in the moment you indulge in them, but often make us feel worse later (think eating an entire chocolate cake to escape feeling a negative emotion, skipping your workout to mindlessly scroll YouTube, over drinking, or any addictive behavior that you feel sabotages your wellbeing). In this episode, we discuss how to really use the strategy of healthy treats as a fun way to give more to yourself, which in turn allows you to actually stick with your goals and habits. We give our lists of healthy treats so that hopefully you leave the episode with a long list of your own healthy treats you can lean on throughout the day to help you feel both taken care of and motivated. The book that inspired us: The Happiness Project // Gretchin Rubin Better Than Before // Gretchin Rubin (in this book, she really expands the idea of healthy treats) Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

There is no way around it, our stuff affects our lives.  Minimalism is a philosophy that invites us to find freedom and simplicity. We all know that minimalism applies to our material things, which is important, and today we discuss how we can apply minimalism to the way we parent. In this episode, we interview Diane Boden, host of the Minimalist Moms Podcast, and a mother of three kids who lives with the goal of thinking more while doing with less. She gives us wonderful tips we can all apply to our lives in a very doable way, and we hope it will leave you inspired to simplify your own life so you can do focus more on what’s truly important to you. You can find Diane on instagram @minimalistmomspodcast, and on her website, http://www.minimalistmomspodcast.com/, where you can find her podcast and other social media platforms. Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

This is a time of self reflection, a slow down presented to us by COVID-19. It isn’t ideal; however,  ultimately, it has the potential to lead to a new level of self awareness. Finding your true self and acknowledging who you are fully can be scary and can challenge some of the long engrained thought patterns we all have. GUILT if we want more than caring for children at home. LONGING for something outside of our “good life” when we should be content with that good. Do you find yourself offering yourself at the alter of parenting? Were you shown examples of martyrdom that were praised as being a “good mother or father?” Conversations we have heard have inspired us to explore this joust between care of others and care of ourself. How can we find the dance that will inspire our own happiness and acknowledge the happiness that caring for others brings? How can we respect those we love while holding a space of respect for ourselves? We have broken down four concrete steps that help us recognize, layout, and act on the inspiration to do more burning inside us while opening our awareness to our needs and the needs of those around us. The main Conversation that inspired us: Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown on Untamed: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/glennon-doyle-and-bren%C3%A9-on-untamed/id1494350511?i=1000469313957 Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We are honored this week to have a special guest on the podcast this week, Dr. Mary Wilde. She has amazing tips for all of us about how to meet our children’s needs while still meeting our own and remaining whole. She shares useful analogies that will help us all improve our parenting, and help us find peace as we navigate these unique times with our children. Dr. Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mom of eight who has created Imagine Pediatrics Behavioral Health & Wellness to address child behavioral health needs in her area and beyond. She has special training in mind-body medicine to help kids build skills of self-regulation and coping through guided imagery and focused practice. She specializes in helping kids who struggle with anxiety and has created the “Overcoming Childhood Anxiety” online course series for youth and parents. Dr. Wilde utilizes the best of modern medicine, while being open to evidence-based holistic & integrative solutions. She advocates prevention & healthy lifestyle choices and is the creator of the “Whole & Healthy” Virtual Health Fair. (Information from her website: https://drmarywilde.com ) Other helpful links: Article about meeting your kids “at the bottom of the slide” (letting go but still being there): https://redtri.com/meeting-them-at-the-bottom-of-the-slide/ Her online course for kids/teens & parents addressing childhood anxiety from a mind/body/spirit standpoint: https://drmarywilde.com/anxiety-courses Free ebook "Your Road to Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family": https://drmarywilde.com/ebook-optin 5-day strength-based ADHD challenge with Dr. Mary Wilde & co-host Dr. Lara Honos-Webb, author of "The Gift of ADHD": https://drmarywilde.com/ADHD-challenge (bonus session on optimizing the home learning environment for kids with ADHD during the pandemic) MANY links and resources for parents during this time of COVID-19 including my favorite websites, articles, blogs addressing the pandemic, resources for free meditations/imagery exercises, and list of ideas on how to safely serve others even during the time of social distancing: go to https://drmarywilde.com Parenting book by Dr. Mary Wilde: Faithful Nurturing: Mothering from the Heart to the Heart https://www.amazon.com/Faithful-Nurturing-Mothering-Heart/dp/1534625186 Connect with her on: FB: https://www.facebook.com/imaginepediatricsstgeorge (FB live with Q&A every Friday at 12:40pm) Instagram: @drmarywilde Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD9v8BVE0hmyg5SFwxq30PA Our Find the Magic Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Do any of you have children who seem to turn up the squabbling and fighting when they are in close quarters? With schools being cancelled throughout the world, many families are finding themselves with all their children home under one roof all day, and although that presents us with many opportunities, it also has many parents pulling out their hair as their children seem to take sibling rivalry to new heights. In this episode, we address the questions that many of you have asked about how to navigate the concept of siblings fighting. We give tips on how to successfully implement quiet time (which is a life saver during quarantine time!), and how to help your children use this unique situation as a time to help strengthen their connection with each other and with you instead of reeking havoc on their interpersonal relationships and causing the temporary insanity of their parents. You can do this!  Books that inspired us: Hold On to Your Kids // Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld  Siblings Without Rivalry // Adele Fabre and Elaine Mazlish  Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co  Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/  Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/  p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Amid the current events of the COVID-19 pandemic and other natural disasters, we have had so many listeners reach out about how to cope as parents during this time. In this episode, we discuss the balance of feeling and processing our own emotions authentically, while not overburdening our children with the full force of our fears. This allows them to also feel all of the big feelings that will come up for them during this time as we offer them a safe space to experience them. We also share with you strategies that are helping us in our daily lives as we have adjusted to the new changes that has accompanied school cancellations and social distancing. Whether you are currently fully isolated or distancing from others, this pandemic has created unrest in our homes. We have tips for you on how to manage homeschool and being together 24/7! We can do this together! Thanks for all of your wonderful support; we have a pretty fabulous worldwide community, and we are so grateful for you! Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Wow world! As we live this beautiful life alongside the current events of our world (you know, like the pandemic we have happening), we have a really wonderful opportunity to deepen our compassion practice to help make the world, and inside our own hearts, a better place. We discovered the power of a practice called Tonglen from Pema Chödrön’s book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, and we have LOVED incorporating it into our lives! It is a practice that helps you process negative emotion (anyone feeling any of those right now?:) in an amazingly loving way. In this episode, we walk you through the practice, and share how we have found it helpful in our own lives. When it is often so challenging to melt together compassion and kindness that we feel personally into the anxiety of every day. It is so powerful, and we hope you love it as much as we did. If you’d like summary of the steps taken from Chödrön’s book to refer back to after listening, here is the link to our website: https://www.findthemagic.co and click on episode 65. Books that inspired us: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times // Pema Chödrön Gifts of Imperfection // Brené Brown Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ Lastly, here is the link to the Gentri music video that opened Taralyn’s eyes to actually SEEING the need in homeless people without turning away. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Sometimes in life, but especially in parenting, we just feel like we don’t measure up—at all. We can end up feeling like we are failing at one of the most important things we have ever done, and it is disheartening, to say the least. This episode is for all you parents out there who, at the end of some days, have worried that you aren’t enough as you wrap yourselves in blankets of worry and overwhelm. In a world full of beautiful and helpful (and also some not so great) advice, with countless books on every subject, it is possible to sometimes have our efforts to become better parents simply feel too hard, too much. In this episode, we use one of our listener’s example of having a toddler not behaving (hitting, in this case) to explore the path that leads to parent shame, and how we can turn away from that path and find inspiration and peace instead. Books that inspired us: Gifts of Imperfect Parenting // Brené Brown Power of Showing Up // Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

We all know that habits are a huge part of any amount of success. In his book, High Performance Habits, Brendon Buchard shares what habits he has found to be the highest contributors to success of all kinds in life during his career as a high performance coach and from studying countless high performers. We have adopted several of his habits in our own life, and we have found them to be immensely helpful. In this episode, we give you an overview of Buchard’s game-changing findings, and share with you which of his habits we have found the most beneficial to us. Some of them are so small, you will be able to immediately work them into your life and hopefully see the profound shifts that follow. Books that inspired us: High Performance Habits // BRENDON Buchard Stillness is Key // Ryan Holiday Links to things we mentioned: -High Performance Habits Planner - Podcast on sleep we loved with Dan Harris and Dr. Matthew Walker Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Many of us often hear the well meant advice to “enjoy every single second because it all goes by so fast!” Although there is so much wisdom in this advice, sometimes it makes us feel guilty when we are in moments that seem at best a drudgery and others that are downright miserable. This episode we hear a listener question about what do when our dreams seem to be deferred while we are in certain seasons of life. Parenting young children is a season that seems to be fraught with many of these dilemmas and questions. In this episode, we address these questions and talk about how to incubate and still develop our dreams WHILE we slow down in the caring for young children. Also, we talk about how to feel the moments of pain, allowing them to flow through us so we are also able to fully embrace the moments of rapture and fulfillment that also come. Both sides of this emotional spectrum are part of every season of life, and there is a courageous beauty to staying open to all that life brings. Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) https://amzn.to/36d89Zj --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

Do you approach the dinner table with hesitation, anxiety or perhaps even dread? Food is an integral part of our lives. We feed our kids multiple times a day and yet it is often a source of contention for many families. We hope this episode can alleviate some of the stress surrounding mealtimes. We get into our favorite tips for cultivating a beautiful, joyful relationship with food. From our daily routine to tips and hacks that have helped our kids become willing and happy eaters. We have a listener question that I am sure all of our listeners have experienced with keeping our kids at the table and we breakdown our theory on food introduction to infants! We hope this deep dive can further guide you in what seems like a simple daily task but can weigh on us so heavily! Books we mention: French Kids Eat Everything // Karen Le Billon Intuitive Eating // Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch Here is a link to the baby food website we love to use to introduce our babies to many different flavors: https://babyfoode.com Our favorite recipe is this one: Ingredients 3 medium sweet potatoes 1/2-1 cup canned coconut milk – full fat 1/4 tsp coriander Instructions Heat oven to 400 degree. Line a baking sheet with tin foil or a silicon mat. Prick sweet potatoes several times with a fork and place on baking sheet. Roast in oven for 45-50 minutes or until tender when priceked with a fork. Let cool to touch. When cool, peel away skin and add sweet potato meat to a blender or food processor. Add in 1/2 cup coconut milk and coriander to the blender and puree for 1-2 minutes or until smooth. If puree is too thick, add in additional coconut milk or water in 1/4 cup increments until you have reached your desired consistency. Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

In part two of our discussion about raising boys, we review the four pillars of connection, getting outside, sleep, and nutrition, and we tackle the challenges and opportunities that boys face at school and learning. We also address the research on screen time and boys’ brains, and give you all sorts of tips to make screen time a pleasant activity with boundaries instead of an unlimited source of distraction and dependency. We have such an AMAZING opportunity as parents to really create a community where they can thrive with their own natural strengths, and we can help create a world where boys are taught to have emotional intelligence and access their internal world with confidence and love. Thanks for joining us for this conversation! Books that inspired us: Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys // Noel Janis-Norton Boys Adrift // Leonard Sax Wild Things // Stephen James and David Thomas Link to resources we mentioned: Wim Hof Method: https://www.wimhofmethod.com Tim Ferris’s interview with Wim Hof: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-tim-ferriss-show/id863897795?i=1000351593298 Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

This AMAZING time we live in offers so many opportunities for us and for our children. However, it also presents many unique challenges as well. Girls growing up now face specific difficulties, and boys do too. In this episode, we address some of the issues that accompany raising boys, and what we have seen in our sons’ lives. We also bring in a lot of great info from authors who have done far more research on the subject of boys. We address issues like how to cultivate  respectful, strong, and kind boy by channeling his natural strengths (as opposed to simply suppressing all of their tendencies and making them feel like they are terrible all the time). We explore some fascinating psychology and hopefully help all of us raise boys who become men who are whole, respectful, humans who make this world a better place:). Books that inspired us: Calmer, Easier, Happier Boys // Noel Janis-Norton Boys Adrift // Leonard Sax Wild Things // Stephen James and David Thomas The planner that was Felica’s high five: High Performance Planner // Brendon Buchard Our Website (You can find all show notes here, along with book recommendations and links to all past books): https://www.findthemagic.co Find us on instagram: Felica: https://www.instagram.com/felicaallen/ Taralyn: https://www.instagram.com/taralyngriffin/ p.s. Our secret to reading so many books is this little baby, a magical wireless earbud:) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support

In this mini episode, Taralyn guides us through the meditation we do every day. She was originally inspired by several different meditation teachers, and has adapted their techniques using other practices that people have used for thousands of years to what works well for her. After listening to this audio every day for a couple weeks, you’ll find that you can do the sequence on your own without any guidance. Anywhere you find yourself, you can do this practice.  Here is the sequence for reference:  Breathing (where your exhale is twice as a long as your inhale) -2 deep breaths with your fingertips pressing 2 inches below your belly button -2 deep breaths with your fingertips pressing over your heart -2 deep breaths with your fingertips pressing in the center of your forehead just above your eye  Body mindfulness: Tap into what you are feeling, hearing, tasting, and smelling, and seeing  Mantra Meditation: Focus on the word one, and come back to it when thoughts come  Gratitude/manifestation: Think of something you’re grateful for, then feel gratitude for something you are hoping to manifest, and then detach from the outcome and be open to inspired action you can take to make it happen.  (I like to connect them—for example: if you want flat abs, 1) Feel gratitude about the core strength you have already, 2) feel the feeling of gratitude and whatever emotion you would feel with amazing flat abs, and then 3) detach from the outcome (realize your happiness isn’t dependent on it), and be open to whatever inspired action you can take). Love/Metta Meditation: focus on imagining someone or something you love in front of you, then you gradually expand that love  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/findthemagic/support