The Roundtable of Gentlemen

Today on the Round Table: a man is charged with felony theft after drinking the 52 bottles of Prohibition-era whiskey he was asked to protect, a 4 year old finds a pipe stuffed to the brim with weed in his Burger King kids meal, and a woman threatens to kill her neighbor because everyone knows she had sex with her cat. Joining us today: Myka Fox!

This week on the Round Table: a Brazilian man is killed by a falling cow, an ice cream truck driver is charged with a DWI in the midst of a war with another vendor, and a man kills his wife over an argument involving sex toys and a Nintendo Wii. Joining us today: buddy Ben and Joe Pera!

This week on the Round Table: Seattle police want to talk to a man who left a pig wearing sweatpants in an unventilated car, a woman douses her fellow bus passengers with gasoline and threatens to light a match, and special guest Mister Pastrami regales us with many wonderful tales from his time as a strip club owner. Also joining us today: Mark Normand and Megan Boone!

This week on Round Table: a rare bird dies in front of dozens of Englishmen, a stripper has a miscarriage while twerking onstage, and a man in Wisconsin is arrested for having sex with a couch in public.

Today on the Round Table: mystery poo-poo falls from the sky in Canada, a man with a magic flute and a van full of birds is arrested after attacking some cops, and a cat is painted over by a roadside crew in Colorado. Joining us today: Nick Vatterott, Amber Nelson, and our good friend Madeline!

This week on the Round Table: a man's erectile implants go horribly wrong much to the chagrin of his family, a camel humps (ha!) a woman to death, and a man dressed as a Power Ranger defecates in a barbecue pit. Joining us today: Larry, Mookie, and Jermaine Fowler!

This week on the Round Table: a man in Texas is acquitted for killing a prostitute in the process of trying to retrieve services paid, a deer in Florida is rescued from a Doritos bag, and a girl in Nebraska makes the news for masturbating with a crucifix. Joining us today: Mike Recine!

Today on the Round Table: a disgusting new delicacy is discovered in the wilds of China, a 600 lb man is charged with felony food-snatching, and in a rare occurence, a personal story involving masturbating on a train segues into a news story about masturbating on the train. Joining us today: Julia Young and Malachi Nimmons!

This week on Round Table: two old men settle their differences using feces and violence, a man in Bosnia saves himself from a bear attack by strangling the bear with his bare hands, and a woman bites her husband's genitals following an argument at the rodeo. Joining us today: Ari Shaffir and Damien Lemon!

This week on Round Table: an Australian boy is arrested while dragging a dead donkey with his truck, another Australian man is arrested for having sex with a pig named Michael Jackson, and a Polish baby is born drunk. Joining the Round Table today: Micah Sherman, Jermaine Fowler, and Jennifer Bartels!

This week on Round Table: one Florida man claims to be a monkey while another masturbates while playing with a toy helicopter, a West Virginia man is killed while trying to harvest copper from high line wires, and a Chinese woman is arrested for poisoning kindergarteners. We're joined today by Ed Larson's mother, Mama Kathleen!

This week on the Round Table: police arrest a man for turning tricks in a Wal-Mart bathroom, a bear and a donkey get in to a scuffle in Wisconsin, and Chik-Fil-A introduces a particularly disturbing promotion involving sons and mothers. Joining us this week: Carol Hartsell and Sean Crespo!

This week on Round Table: an police officer with the best name we've heard in a while prevents a machete attack, officials in China cover a bridge in butter to prevent suicides, and a quadriplegic achieves orgasm through his thumb. Joining us today: comedy photographer at large Mindy Tucker!

Today on the Round Table: a goat in Africa is accused of armed robbery, an elephant in Mississippi gets caught in a drive-by shooting, and a train narrowly avoids a puppy tied to the tracks. Joining us today: Michael Che and Ross Parsons!

On this, the 140th episode of the Round Table: bears in Russia are addicted to huffing jet fuel, a man is arrested for hunting a deer in a Walmart parking lot, and a rabbi right here in New York City kills two babies with herpes after sucking circumcision blood from their baby penises.