Mom Enough: A Parenting Podcast

Most of us probably know a young adult who has maxed out credit cards, failed to live within a budget, been blindsided by unexpected expenses and gone running home to Mom and Dad for a bailout. And most of us probably hope (or swear) that our kids won’t make those same bad decisions. So, what can we do right now, whatever the ages of our children? Dr. Joyce Serido, from the University of Minnesota’s Department of Family Social Science, has focused her career on studying how families interact around financial matters and helping parents build effective skills and practices in what she calls 'financial parenting.' Tune into this lively and informative discussion about raising kids who are financially competent. Even if you have an adult child who already is overly dependent on you for financial assistance, you will get ideas about how to begin to turn that around!   How are you doing 'financial parenting' with your children? Based on what you heard in this Mom Enough discussion, what would you like to do differently? How will you begin?   For Nathan Dungan's teaching children about money ME show, click here.

Admit it, moms and dads. Sometimes the exhaustion and stress of parenthood really zap the romance out of your relationship. But a strong, happy marriage is good for you and good for your kids. And there are steps you can take to revitalize your relationship at any stage. Dr. Bill Doherty is a University of Minnesota professor, author and marriage and family therapist who has devoted his life to understanding what makes and keeps marriages strong. You, your spouse and your children will reap the benefits of the tried and true advice he brings to Mom Enough. As a bonus, Bill also offers tips about the most helpful way to respond if a friend confides in you with concerns about his or her marriage. Don’t miss this timely Valentine’s week show!   How did your marriage change when you became a parent? How does parenthood affect your relationship now? What strategies do you already use to keep your relationship strong, and what new tips for a happy marriage did you get in this Mom Enough discussion?   For Bill’s Take Back Your Marriage book, click here. For Marital First Responders classes information, click here. For Bill’s previous show on discerning when your marriage can be saved, click here. For the Doherty Relationship Institute, click here.

In the early months of life, a child grows and learns by leaps and bounds, making sense of language, emotions, social interactions and countless other aspects of the world around them. Between six months and one year there is a particular burst of development that is a veritable “social revolution.” But, as groundbreaking research is showing, children later diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) show observable differences from their typically developing peers by one year of age. Yet far too often children displaying early signs of autism don’t receive intervention until years later. Professor Jed Elison from the U of M’s Institute of Child Development, is one of the researchers leading the charge to improve the lives of children with ASD through early identification and intervention. In this week’s Mom Enough show, he calls us all to become informed on the early signs of autism, advocate for services and reduce the stigma of ASD.   What new information did you hear in this Mom Enough discussion about ASD? If early signs of autism are observable as early as 12 months, why do you think the average age at which Minnesota children with ASD get service is 4.9 years? What can you do to help change that?   For the Elison Lab, click here.

Becoming a step family is a huge transition for everyone involved. What are the common emotional issues for children when a parent marries and how can all the adults pull together to help children adapt in a healthy way? What is the appropriate role for a step parent when it comes to discipline? How do families avoid unnecessary competition or disagreement between step parent and birth parent? Dr. Patricia Papernow has focused on step family relationships throughout her career, and she is step-mom to three adult children and step grandma to six. She brings realism, sensitivity and wisdom to this fascinating discussion with Marti & Erin!   Are you a step parent or do you have a step parent? What has been good about your experience and what has been difficult? Based on what Dr. Papernow said in this Mom Enough discussion, what might have helped you and your family face some of the challenges of being step family? With whom would you like to share this helpful audio show?   For Dr. Papernow's 7 tips for parenting, step parenting and discipline in stepfamilies, click here.

For young children, speech and language development occurs at varying rates. So how do you know when your child is just learning at his or her own pace or when there might be a speech problem that needs further assessment or intervention? If there is a problem with articulation or fluency, how might that influence other aspects of your child’s learning? And what is the most supportive and helpful way to respond? Katie Adler, speech and language therapist at St. David’s Center, brings years of experience to her discussion of speech and language development in this week’s Mom Enough show.   Have you or someone in your family had a speech problem (e.g. stuttering, pronouncing certain sounds incorrectly)? Why and how can that affect other aspects of a child’s social development? Literacy? Confidence? What language development ideas or tips did you get from this Mom Enough show?   For our fluency and stuttering in preschool tip sheet, click here. For 5 possible signs of stuttering from St. David's Center, click here. For St. David's Center's speech-language therapy information page, click here. For Help Me Grow, click here. For early childhood developmental milestones from Help Me Grow, click here.

When a child is bullied in words or actions the pain can last a lifetime. Even witnessing bullying can lead to anxiety and depression. Children who bully also are at high risk for a host of long-term problems, so it’s in everyone’s interest to bring an end to this widespread problem. After classmates taunted Carrie Goldman’s adopted daughter for carrying a Star Wars lunchbox, Carrie’s subsequent blog hit the national news. The outpouring of support she and her daughter received inspired Carrie to write Bullied, a book that is packed with proven tips for helping victims, bystanders and bullies themselves turn these destructive patterns around. Don’t miss this important Mom Enough conversation!   Do you remember being bullied as a child? How did you feel and what did you do about it? How would you coach your child to respond in a similar situation? What helpful ideas did you hear in this week’s Mom Enough discussion?   For Carrie’s blog, click here. For Nicki Crick’s research on relational aggression in girls, click here.

We’ve all heard the question, “What kind of world are we leaving for our children?” But Dr. Shilagh Mirgain, a health and sport psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, turns that question on its head and asks, “What kind of children are we leaving for our world?” Whatever the ages of your children, don’t miss this inspiring and practical discussion of how to help your children develop compassion for themselves and others, recognizing the common humanity, vulnerability and imperfection we all share. Learn concrete steps you can take today to help your children build self-compassion and be more grateful, kind and mindful in their daily lives.     This week’s Mom Enough guest talks about the importance of “showing up for yourself as you would for a dear friend.” Give examples of what that would look like in your life. What concrete steps could you take to help your children treat themselves with such self-compassion?   For Dr. Mirgain's self-compassion article that Marti mentioned, click here. For more of Dr. Mirgain's blog articles, click here.

Psychologist and research professor Peter Gray had spent years studying the biological foundations of emotions in rats and other mammals. But when his 9-year-old son had an angry outburst in the principal’s office, Peter was moved to tears and soon found himself shifting his research focus to studying education from a biological perspective. His conclusions about what is missing from children’s lives are addressed in a powerful way in his book Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant and Better Students for Life. Whatever the age of your children, Peter’s conversation with Marti & Erin will lead you to careful reflection on how to support your child’s success and happiness.   Think about the past week. How much time has your child spent playing without adult direction? How about doing pretend play (dramatic play) with other children? What did you learn in this Mom Enough interview with Peter Gray about the benefits of this kind of play? How can you create more opportunities for your child to exercise creativity through free play?   For Peter's Psychology Today blog, click here.

What researchers call “executive function” and most parents call “self-control” encompasses everything from paying attention in class to resisting the impulse to punch someone who gets in your space to managing frustration with a difficult project. However it shows up in daily life, executive function is key to school success and positive relationships. So how does executive function develop in children and what role do we play as parents in promoting good executive function? Dr. Stephanie Carlson, professor in the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development (College of Education and Human Development), has been studying this important aspect of child development and brings helpful insights and practical tips to her discussion with Marti and Erin in this week’s Mom Enough show.   Whatever the ages of your children, what examples do you see of their growing “executive function” or self-control? In what situations do your children seem to lack (or struggle with) self-control? Based on what you heard in this Mom Enough discussion, describe two or three things you could do to support your children’s development of executive function.

Let’s face it; some children have us walking on eggshells. They get rattled when something interferes with their usual routine. If we try to rush them out the door in the morning – or if they’ve missed a couple hours of sleep – they may go into a complete meltdown. Parent educator and author Mary Sheedy Kurcinka calls these children “spirited” and, in her popular book, Raising Your Spirited Child (just released in its 3rd edition), helps us understand what’s going on in the brains and bodies of these children. In this week’s Mom Enough show, Mary offers practical, concrete tips for helping a spirited child adapt and thrive. Marti & Erin have some stories and insights about the spirited children in their own family, too!   How does this week’s guest, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, define what she calls the “spirited child”? Do you have or know a child who fits that profile? What in this Mom Enough discussion helped you better understand that child’s behavior and think about what you can do to help that spirited child (and those around him or her) be more comfortable and adaptable?   For Mary's resources, click here.

This time of year often evokes a wide range of feelings – excitement, joy, sadness, longing or all of the above. Especially for moms, any and all of those emotions often come with holiday stress and anxiety – “How can I possibly get everything done?!” Family researcher Dr. Anna Kudak has spent recent years interviewing women about their holiday experiences and even following some moms into the kitchen or shopping mall, and she has a lot to say about why the holidays stress us out. But she and Marti & Erin also have some good ideas about how to ease up a bit and find your true meaning in whatever holidays you celebrate!   Think about the last big holiday you celebrated. To what extent did it capture the meaning you wanted it to have? What messages do you think your children received from you about the meaning of the holiday? What would you wish to do differently the next time the holidays roll around to reduce your holiday stress?

Dr. John Tauer is in a relatively unique position as both a coach of one of the winningest basketball teams in the country and a psychology professor who studies motivation at the University of St. Thomas. He doesn’t always like what he sees in youth sports and coined the acronym “WOSP” (well-intentioned, overinvolved sports parents) for his recent book, Why Less Is More for WOSPS: How to Be the Best Sports Parent You Can Be. A big believer in the potential of youth sports to build character, discipline, teamwork and conflict resolution skills, Tauer nonetheless challenges the extreme and unrealistic ways too many of us parents approach our children’s athletic involvement. He offers tips for healthier ways to help our kids build a more balanced set of skills and interests that will serve them throughout life, while still celebrating the joys and benefits of youth sports.   What are some of the personal qualities John Tauer identifies as benefits of organized youth sports? How do those benefits match what you see among young athletes in your school district or on sports teams you’ve watched? What insights or advice in this Mom Enough discussion were most interesting and helpful to you?   For John's blog on sports and motivation, click here. For John's basketball camp, click here. For John's book, click here.

Marketers have had us and our children in their sights for a long time, giving us a million ideas for how to spend our money to make this the best holiday season ever. But what are the childhood memories you cherish and recall from the holidays? Chances are they are less about expensive gifts than about fun and laugher with the people who loved you. Nathan Dungan, founder of Share, Save, Spend, joins Marti & Erin for a timely, helpful and heartfelt discussion about how to reduce stress, increase joy and enhance the significance of this special time of year. You will be glad you tuned in!   What are some of your favorite childhood holiday memories? What made those moments so special for you? How can you use those childhood memories to help you create the kind of low-stress, joyful season you want for yourself and your family?   For Nathan’s ME show about reducing materialism in our children & teens, click here. For Nathan’s ME show about teaching children about money, values & accountability, click here. For Nathan’s suggestions on keeping holiday spending under control, click here. For Money Sanity Solutions: Linking Money + Meaning, click here.

Wherever we and our children look, we confront ads for the latest ways to get “the perfect body” along with air-brushed images of celebrities with unattainable bodies. How do those messages influence your child’s eating behavior and body image? Even more important, what can you do to counteract those unhelpful influences and support your son or daughter in maintaining a strong healthy body and feeling good about his or her body image? Dr. Katie Loth, from the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health at the University of Minnesota, joins Marti & Erin to discuss some recent research findings that might surprise you. And she offers practical tips that will help you be more reflective about the subtle ways you shape your child’s attitude, behavior and self-acceptance.   How do Katie Loth’s research findings about body image and weight gain compare to what people often think about how to encourage weight loss or prevent weight gain in girls and young women? Why do you think the pattern was different for boys and girls? Reflecting on your own words and actions, in what ways could you improve the way you support healthy behavior and body image? Leave a comment below!   To read the research findings, click here. To read an editorial about the research findings, click here. To read an article about the research findings, click here. For Project EAT, click here. For Marti's suggestions on promoting a healthy body image, click here.

As Marti & Erin know well, the mother-daughter relationship can offer a special kind of emotional closeness, mutual support and a lot of fun over the years. But at times it also can be fraught with tension and conflict (e.g. why are you giving me that look?!). This week’s Mom Enough guest is very familiar with the joys and challenges of mother-daughter relationships, both as a mom and as a longtime clinical psychologist working with parents and children. In this candid and thoughtful conversation, Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler, author of I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! joins Marti & Erin to explore some of the underlying reasons for mother-daughter tension, as well as strategies for ensuring that your mother-daughter relationship survives and thrives through the teen years – strategies that need to start long before adolescence.   What has been your experience of mother-daughter relationship conflict as a mom, a daughter or even as a dad or brother living alongside that tension? What fresh insights did you get from this Mom Enough discussion? What do you think is most important to maintaining a close mother-daughter relationship even through those challenges? Leave a comment below!   For Roni's ME interview on girls and stress, click here. For Roni's advice on helping your teen cope with specific stressful situations, click here.