Mom Enough: A Parenting Podcast

Mom Enough hosts Marti & Erin have heard from a lot of parents who get frustrated with always being the disciplinarian (bad cop) while their partner is the “fun parent” (good cop). In fact, Marti & Erin occasionally have complained that they more often get stuck in the “tough guy” role of bad cop than the dads of their kids do. But, drawing on their professional background as well as their successes and failures as moms, they have helpful guidance about the type of discipline that is most effective in the long run. And they have some great tips on how you and your co-parent can get on the same page, not only for the sake of your children but for the benefits for your own relationship.   After this interesting discussion, stay tuned for a brief Relationships that Nurture with Robin Campbell from St. David’s Center, talking about the importance of unstructured outdoor play in your child’s development.   To what extent do you and your partner or co-parent agree on discipline and behavior expectations for your child? Think of a time when you did not present a united front. How did your child respond? How did you feel? What steps could you and your partner take, as needed, to parent more effectively together rather than taking on separate good cop, bad cop roles? Leave a comment below!   For Marti’s advice for a parent who’s a softie, click here. For Marti’s advice for creating a united parenting front, click here. For the Getting Kids Outdoors tip sheet, click here. For the Disagreeing about Parenting tip sheet, click here.

As parents, we often have strong reactions to the idea of medicating children because of emotional or behavioral problems. But, as this week’s Mom Enough guest knows, medicating children sometimes can free them to learn and play and thrive. Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Reeve joins Marti & Erin for a thoughtful and informative discussion about the proper place of medication in a child’s treatment, how to explain the need for medication to the child, and how to head off inappropriate use of these prescription drugs.   Has a child in your family or circle of friends taken medication for ADHD or anxiety or some other emotional or behavior problem? What is your understanding of how the medication contributed to improvement in the child’s learning behavior or happiness? What did you hear in this Mom Enough show that changed your understanding of the benefits or cautions of medicating children? Leave a comment below!   For Elizabeth’s show on living with autism, click here. For Elizabeth’s book aimed at young people with ASD, click here.

We all want our children to succeed in school and life, but the qualities we think are most important are not always what matter most. After years of writing about education and child development for New York Times Magazine and other major publications, Paul Tough set out to learn from researchers and educators throughout the U.S. about what allows kids to thrive, often even in the face of great odds. His findings became the bestseller How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity & the Hidden Power of Character. Marti & Erin were delighted to have Paul join them for this week’s conversation about what he has learned through the writing of this book, as well as how Paul thinks this will influence the choices he makes in raising his own young son.   How do Paul Tough’s findings in his book How Children Succeed match what you have understood to be most important to your children’s success? Are there some things we, as a society, emphasize too much in trying to promote a child’s success? Are there some things we should emphasize more? How will these ideas shape your approach with your children? Leave a comment below!

From the earliest years of life, children are naturally attracted to animals. Puppies, piranhas, squirrels, snakes – all are fascinating and all teach children important lessons in empathy, responsibility and the interconnectedness of all living things. Educator Patty Born Selly, author of the new book Connecting Children and Animals, joins Marti & Erin for a discussion that will help you understand how to ensure that your kids reap these benefits even if you’re not up for having pets.   Stay tuned after the interview with Patty for a brief Relationships that Nurture feature brought to you by St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development. Kathy Reason talks about the role of music therapy in services for children with special needs, including autism spectrum disorder.   How do you give your children experience with animals even if you don’t have pets? What specific things could you do to connect your children and animals? Why is this children and animals connection important to children’s health, learning and development? Leave a comment below!   For the Music Therapy tip sheet, click here.

Did you know that being less materialistic is associated with greater happiness? Nathan Dungan, founder of Share Save Spend and Mom Enough’s go-to source on kids and money, builds on previous research in a groundbreaking new study that shows how a 3-part learning intervention reduced materialism and increased self-esteem for adolescents who participated. Nathan joins Marti & Erin for a lively discussion about how to promote good values around money, how to give your kids choices and a voice in spending decisions even at very young ages, and how your children will benefit longterm from these practices. Marti & Erin are eager to try Nathan’s tips, and you will be too!   How do you involve your children in spending decisions? Based on what you heard in this Mom Enough discussion about reducing materialism, what concrete steps could you take to teach your children the value of money and good values about how to share, save and spend? Leave a comment below!   For Money Sanity U, click here. For the Scientific American story, click here. For The New York Times feature story, click here.

We all have experienced those moments when our child’s ability to reason seems to fly out the window and raw emotion takes over. Maybe we counter our child’s intense feelings with words of comfort and calm. Or maybe our own frustration rises and we begin to spin out of control. This week’s Mom Enough guest, UCLA clinical psychiatry professor and popular author Dr. Dan Siegel, draws on recent brain research to offer an effective and innovative framework for teaching our children to understand how their brains work and use that knowledge to achieve balance, insight and strategies for coping with frustration, disappointment and conflict. Marti & Erin are excited to use this framework with the children in their life and they think you will be too!   Think of a recent time when your child had a meltdown, a tantrum or an outburst of anger. How could you have reflected back to your child what was happening in his or her brain? How could this approach help you become more mindful of when your own “downstairs brain” begins to overwhelm your “upstairs brain,” to use Dr. Dan Siegel’s terms? Leave a comment below!   For The Whole-Brain Child, click here. For The Mindsight Institute, click here.

So, you and your partner have gone to childbirth class, practiced your breathing and developed a birth plan. And maybe your mom or another loved one plans to be there for added support. But what if you could have a specially trained person there to anticipate your every need, clarify what’s happening with your labor and even support your anxious partner? Doulas can do all that and more, as this week’s Mom Enough guests, Debby Prudhoome and Mary Williams from Everyday Miracles, know!   Have you or someone you know used doula services during your pregnancy and birth process? What did you learn in this week’s Mom Enough discussion about what doulas provide and how their role is different from that of your partner or another support person? Leave a comment below! For Everyday Miracles, click here. For the Childbirth Collective, click here. For DONA, click here. For CAPPA, click here.

Pop culture bombards us every day with shallow, unrealistic messages about romantic love. But what does it really take to build love, commitment and connection that last? And why is this important for our children, as well as ourselves? Los Angeles psychologist and author of Happy Together Dr. Bill Cloke joins Marti and Erin for a rich discussion of practical steps you can take to bring greater respect, understanding and love into your family life. This show is a Valentine to you from Mom Enough!   The guest on this week’s Mom Enough show, Dr. Bill Cloke, talks about love as a “creation.” What does that mean to you and how is that different from the way romantic love is portrayed in popular media? Reflect on how you and your partner communicate in front of your children. What do you think your children are learning from what they see? Leave a comment below!

From the first hours of life, babies interact with the world through touch and sensory exploration. As babies grow, their motor and sensory skills become more complex and purposeful. We sometimes take for granted that these domains of development will just unfold without special attention. But, as research shows, persistent problems with motor development or sensory behaviors often relate to neurological vulnerability and emotional difficulties as children get older. So, what should we be watching for? What kinds of activities are most supportive of good sensori-motor development? And how do we know if our child needs a formal assessment or services? Robin Campbell, clinical supervisor at St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development, brings years of experience to this week’s discussion with Marti & Erin.   What did you hear in this Mom Enough interview that was new or surprising? Think about the activities, baby gear and technological devices that are so common among young children today; to what extent and in what ways do you think these things might affect sensori-motor development, for better or worse? Leave a comment below!   For St. David's Center's pediatric therapies, click here. For possible sensory processing and regulatory differences, click here. For Help Me Grow's early childhood developmental milestones, click here. If you have concerns about your child's development, click here.

As moms, most of us give a lot of thought to deciding to be employed or to be a stay at home mom. We may seek input from family, friends and books, even as pervasive media images of “having it all” also seep into our thinking. But what is known about the effects of a mother’s employment status on her children’s well-being and her own? Is there a “holy grail” of work status for mothers today? And, if not, what factors are most important in helping us make the best choice for us and our families? Dr. Deborah Kahn addressed these questions in her doctoral thesis and expanded the ideas in her recent book, The Roads Taken. You’ll want to chime in on her lively discussion with Marti & Erin about choosing to be a stay at home mom or an employed mom in this week’s Mom Enough show!   After you had your first child, were you employed or at home caring for your child? Why did you make the choice you made? Has your decision been the same or different with subsequent children? Whatever your choices, how do you think your situation worked for you and for your children? Why? Leave a comment below!   For Marti's 2005 survey study of mothers, click here.

For decades, Search Institute has worked with communities around the world to build assets for promoting healthy youth development. Now Search Institute has turned their attention to "family assets," attributes and practices that keep family relationships strong and individual family members strong and healthy. Gene Roehlkepartain, Vice President of Research and Development at Search Institute, joins Marti & Erin for an informative and inspiring discussion of family strengths and assets we all can develop in our own family lives.   On the Mom Enough website (momenough.com), look at the information about Search Institute's family assets. What assets does your family have and what assets could you have if you decided to make some changes? What steps can you take this week to begin to increase your family's assets? Leave a comment below!   For a list of the Family Assets Framework, click here. For Search Institute’s website for parents, click here. For Search Institute’s family strengths, click here.

When you lose your cool when your toddler misbehaves at the park or when your teen botches a major exam, what do you say to yourself? If you’re like many parents, you probably slip into all-or-nothing thinking – saying to yourself, for example, “I’m a terrible parent!” or “My kid will never get into a good college!” This week’s Mom Enough guest, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, offers practical ways to step back and put our failures (and our children’s) into perspective, using these opportunities for evaluation and reframing that will quiet our inner critic and allow us to learn and grow. With great energy and a refreshing outlook, Elizabeth helps us understand how we and our children can strive for excellence without falling into the trap of parental perfectionism.   After this featured discussion, stay tuned for a brief Relationships that Nurture segment with Jennifer Leflar from St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development, talking about the Reggio Emilia approach to early childhood education and what it could mean for your young child.   Think of recent times when you or your young child have made a significant mistake or have failed in some way. What did you think or say to yourself? Did you fall into the “all-or-nothing” thinking Dr. Lombardo talks about in this parental perfectionism show? What could you say to yourself instead that would be less perfectionistic and more helpful? Leave a comment below!   For Dr. Elizabeth's blog, click here. For Dr. Elizabeth's Better Than Perfect book, click here. For more about St. David's Center's Early Childhood Education Program, click here. For the Reinforcing Reggio-Inspired Learning at Home tip sheet, click here.

Children seem to be born young entrepreneurs, from selling mudpies to their mom to building a lemonade stand or dog-walking business for their neighbors. But what does it take to turn those rudimentary skills into larger lessons about budgets, credit, investments and banking? John Hope Bryant and his colleagues at Operation HOPE have worked with school districts and communities across the country, with a special focus on disadvantaged youth, to teach financial literacy and promote what Bryant calls “financial dignity.” He brings passion and inspiration to his young entrepreneurs conversation with Marti & Erin in this Mom Enough show.   How do you teach your young entrepreneurs about the value of money, saving, borrowing and working within a budget? What does your child’s school do to teach these concepts and what more would you like to see the school offer young entrepreneurs? Leave a comment below!   For Six Ways to Raise and Nurture a Young Entrepreneur, click here. For Operation HOPE, click here. For Banking on our Future, click here.

A couple’s announcement of their decision to adopt often is at the midpoint of a journey that began long ago with dreams of their imagined family. As the prospective parents deal with all the uncertainties, questions and cumbersome processes of adoption, friends and family often are challenged to find ways to celebrate, support and even talk about this important life passage. Even long after the adoptive child is welcomed into the family, unique questions and challenges arise. But Elisabeth O’Toole, mother of three adopted children, has written a book packed with wisdom and practical advice for family, friends, teachers and others who wish to provide support for adoptive parents and their children on their journey of growing together.   Have you had personal experience with adoption? In what ways do you think adoption is different now than it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago? What insights did you gain from this Mom Enough show and how will that influence your response to providing support for adoptive parents or adopted children? Leave a comment below!

Despite the hyper-connections today’s technology affords, many children are at a loss for words when it comes to connecting face-to-face – meeting someone new, receiving a gift graciously or welcoming friends to a birthday party. Marti & Erin were excited to discover that businesswoman Maribeth Kuzmeski and her teen daughter Lizzie have written a book packed with practical strategies to teach these important relationship skills to children of any age. And you will be delighted that Maribeth agreed to share these excellent ideas on this week’s Mom Enough show!   How are you teaching your child the communication and relationship skills that are important in adult life? What new ideas did you hear in this Mom Enough show and what are the first ones you will try with your child? Leave a comment below!