Mom Enough: A Parenting Podcast

As a Social Work professor, Oliver Williams has devoted his career to helping men find the strength, compassion and self-control to treat their partners and children kindly and respectfully. With a special focus on African American men, Oliver works with local communities and national and international organizations to reduce domestic violence and support positive fathering.   In this warm and thoughtful conversation with Marti & Erin, Oliver draws on his work and, even more, his personal experience with his father (who died when Oliver was 16), the older brother who became a father figure to him, and son Samuel, who, for 26 years, has been the light of Oliver’s eye (and mom Sonia’s). We thank Oliver for helping us remember and celebrate the fathers in our lives!   WHAT STANDS OUT TO YOU WHEN YOU THINK OF FATHERS? What are some of your strongest childhood memories of your father (or a father figure if you didn’t grow up with your father)? How do you think your children will answer that question when they are older?   WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT FATHER'S & FATHERHOOD? ❉ DADS MATTER: THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND WHAT MOMS CAN DO TO HELP DADS SUCCEED. Andre Dukes of the Northside Achievement Zone in Minneapolis, joins Marti & Erin to discuss the role of the father in child development, the benefits of father involvement throughout a child’s life, and what we all can do to help men be the dads their children need.     ❉ BETWEEN FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS: A CONVERSATION WITH AUTHOR AND RESEARCHER DR. LINDA NIELSEN. A wealth of research highlights the importance of fathers to the development of both sons and daughters. Yet many women say they don’t really know their fathers very well and/or they often feel criticized by their fathers. In situations of divorce or separation, these issues often are even more pronounced. But, as Linda Nielsen knows from her research on the relationship of fathers and daughters, there are steps adult daughters can take to put their relationship with their fathers on a more positive path. And, dads, whether your daughter is a toddler, teen or adult, you can build a closer more supportive relationship with her. However the father-daughter relationships play out in your family, you will find this Mom Enough discussion insightful and encouraging!

How do you feel when you get a big hug from a friend you haven’t seen for a while? Or how about a spontaneous kiss on the cheek from your child? Or your spouse holding your hand when you go for a walk? How do you imagine your child experiences the way you touch them, and what do you remember about your own experience of touch when you were a child?   Dr. Michael Banissy, a psychologist and neuroscientist, has spent his career studying different types of touch and the impact on health, wellbeing and relationship quality in all kinds of relationships at every stage of development. He has pulled together a wealth of information in his engaging new book, Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Wellbeing. He joins this Mom Enough episode from Bristol, England to share some of his most important and interesting findings with Marti & Erin – and you!   WHY IS TOUCH SO IMPORTANT TO WELLBEING? To what extent do you experience positive touch, and with whom? What would you change about that if you could? How about in your childhood, especially with your parents? How do you think touch helped shape the kind of relationship you had with your parents? What do you want to do the same or differently with your own children? Why?   WANT TO LEARN MORE? ❉ THE BENEFITS OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE PLAY: A CONVERSATION WITH EDUCATOR MIKE HUBER ABOUT ROUGHHOUSING. Early childhood educator Mike Huber from St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development (a supporting partner of Mom Enough), understands how valuable rough and tumble play is to children’s learning and development. He joins Marti & Erin in this Mom Enough® episode for a lively discussion of this often overlooked aspect of children’s experience, prompting funny memories for Marti & Erin and inspiring them to do a little roughhousing themselves.   ❉ TOUCH MATTERS. Check out Dr. Michael Banissy's latest book.

Many of us, both adults and young people, report feeling worn down and powerless in the face of the conflict, tragedy and heartache that are so prevalent in our communities and the world today. So, what can we do to feel more engaged in creating solutions?   Mom Enough guest, Michael Thatcher, CEO of the nonprofit Charity Navigator, brings a message of hope and empowerment about how giving to others – of time, talent and/or treasure – becomes a lasting gift to ourselves and our children. Drawing on his own experience as a child and a father, and highlighting the extensive resources of Charity Navigator, Michael inspires us to start right now to engage our children of any age in becoming givers, now and throughout their lives.   WHAT STEPS WILL YOU TAKE ON YOUR PATH TO RAISING GENEROUS CHILDREN? What experience have you had as a giver of your time, talent and/or treasure (however small)? What have you done to instill generosity in your children? Listening to this Mom Enough discussion, what new things could you try? What causes or issues are important to you or your children, and what can you learn about credible charities related to that by visiting Charity Navigator?   WANT TO LEARN MORE? ❉ DOING GOOD TOGETHER: SIMPLE WAYS TO EMPHASIZE FAMILY CONTRIBUTION. Dr. Jenny Friedman is devoting her life to helping families like yours find simple but powerful ways to engage children in the "3 Cs" -- connection, competence and contribution -- with a special emphasis on “contribution.” She joins Mom Enough® in this episode with helpful tips for family contribution. You are sure to be inspired by the practical ideas and compelling reasons for getting your family on the path to doing good together!   ❉ ENGAGING KIDS IN FAMILY MONEY DECISIONS. “Who is interested in shaping your child’s attitudes around money?” That is the first question posed by this week’s Mom Enough children and money guest, Nathan Dungan, financial advisor and founder of Share, Save, Spend. The answer to that question – and examples of how our culture lures our kids to spend, spend, spend – should make us all sit up and take notice! But we do not need to be powerless. From 5-minute family money meetings to teachable moments at the grocery store, restaurant or ATM, this Mom Enough episode is packed with ways to clarify your own values about money, instill those values in your children, and give your kids voice and choice in family money decisions.  

Do differences between men and women, and boys and girls, actually exist? What challenges are at play that make it difficult for women to be "on par" with men in the workplace and financially? How did the COVID-19 pandemic impact women's careers?   Jenna Fisher, the author of To the Top: How Women in Corporate Leadership are Rewriting the Rules for Success, joins Marti & Erin of Mom Enough® to answer these questions and more! She offers compelling insights on disparities between men and women in job titles and pay, women's career timelines, and how much time women want to spend working. Tune in to learn more about how women can bridge gender disparities, be successful, and raise their daughters to do the same.   WHAT STEPS HAVE YOU TAKEN TO ATTAIN SUCCESS AS A WOMAN? How have you experienced what Jenna Fisher discusses as far as disparities in pay and job titles? What would be your ideal work schedule and how would that contribute to your attainment of career goals? In what ways has motherhood affected your career? What factors inhibit or allow you to be more successful as a woman?   WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SUCCESS FOR WOMEN? ❉ EMPOWERING GIRLS TO BECOME STRONG WOMEN: A DISCUSSION OF WORDS, BODY LANGUAGE AND DARING TO TAKE UP SPACE. Longtime educator and founder of aWe, Inc. (Academy for Women’s Empowerment), Kristi Hemmer joins Marti & Erin for an important and provocative discussion of the ways girls and women give away their power through speech, body language and attributions that dismiss their own talent and hard work. Listen with a friend and then consider how you can claim your own power and raise your daughters to do the same.   ❉ RAISING A “GUTSY GIRL”: A CONVERSATION WITH ADVENTURER AND AUTHOR CAROLINE PAUL. Caroline Paul believes we too often undermine girls’ competence and self-esteem and deprive them of exhilarating adventures. So she’s written a unique guidebook for girls (and women!) called The Gutsy Girl: Escapades for Your Life of Epic Adventure. This book is packed with stories of her own adventures and those of other daring women, practical tips on changing a tire or climbing a mountain, and space for the reader to journal about her own escapades. Caroline brings her ideas to life in this enthusiastic conversation with Marti, who describes a few adventures of her own! You won't want to miss this episode of Mom Enough.

Does your child struggle with homework, seem fidgety much of the time, or look dazed when directed to do something? Perhaps you (and your child’s teachers) need help in figuring out the optimal ways your child learns.   Are auditory skills strong? Does your child learn best with visual cues and demonstrations? Or maybe touching things and going through physical practice (kinesthetic learning) is necessary for success. Are there subject areas in which your child shows a strong interest and learns easily? Then maybe it is time for you and your child’s teachers to pull together to create more opportunities for your child to experience success, both academically and socially. Granted, some children struggling with schoolwork have a learning disability and need (and have the right to) special intervention. But this week’s Mom Enough guest, Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider, knows there are individual differences among kids who do not meet criteria for a learning disability but who could benefit from extra support and analysis of the ways they learn best. And that kind of support is likely to help them find the confidence and joy they deserve.   Think of a time when you were learning a new and challenging subject. What strategies were most effective for you? How is that the same as or different than the way your partner or a good friend learns? Now think about your children and how they learn best. In what ways do you and your children’s teachers accommodate their differences and build on their strengths? In what ways could you? Related Resources: Confidence and Joy by Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider Creating a Home Environment that Promotes School Success tip sheet by Dr. Marti Erickson Ways to Help Children Think About Better Solutions for Difficult Behaviors tip sheet by St. David's Center Bright But Different article by Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain & Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider

How does a mom rise above a harsh childhood to carve a very different path in raising her three highly successful daughters? This week’s guest has an inspiring story filled with practical tips!   Esther Wojcicki, educator, writer and mother of three highly successful daughters, had to overcome a challenging, hurtful childhood and find a way of parenting that was strikingly different than the way she was treated. This involved a great deal of careful reflection (what Marti often talks about as “looking back, moving forward”). Along the way, Esther discovered the T.R.I.C.K.* that she believes propelled her daughters to where they are today. Esther brings this wisdom to her new book, Raising Successful People, and to her heartfelt discussion with Marti & Erin in this week’s Mom Enough episode.   * Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, Kindness   Think carefully about each of the five components of TRICK. In what ways are you addressing each of those in your relationship with your children? Which components come most easily for you? Which components are most difficult for you and what steps would you take to improve?   Related resources: Being a Reflective Parent, Raising Reflective Children tip sheet by Marti Erickson Learning to Play, Playing to Learn - Notes from A Night Out for ME® presentation by Marti Erickson and Erin Erickson Parent's Role in Brain Development tip sheet by St. David's Center Article on Esther Wojcicki  

Being a moral person – a person of character – sometimes is defined as “doing the right thing even when no one is watching.” As babies, we all are ego-centric (self-centered), focused on our own immediate needs and feelings. Gradually, we develop the ability to recognize the feelings of others and discover the impact of our own actions on them, laying the foundation for the earliest stage of moral development, when we behave in a certain way to please our parents and other caregivers. So, what do parents and other caring adults need to do to help children move through higher stages of moral development, learn to discern right from wrong and discover the value for self and others in being a person of morality or character?   This week’s Mom Enough guest, therapist John Driggs, brings a humble, reflective perspective to this important topic in human development, offering much-needed encouragement and hope for our children’s future.   What did you hear in this conversation that prompted you to reflect on how you are supporting your children’s moral development? What factors in today’s world make it hard to teach your children right from wrong? What have you found to be most effective with your children?   Related resources: Character Matters: How to Help Our Children Develop Good Judgment, Integrity and Other Essential Virtues, book by Thomas Lickona Discussing emotions with children tip sheet from the University of Minnesota Fostering Compassionate Children tips from St. David's Center The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Emotional and Moral Development, book by Richard Weissbourd  

You know how essential regular exercise is for a healthy heart and strong body, but do you know that exercise and mental health are also closely linked? Discovering the energy and positive mood that exercise provides can become a powerful motivator to make exercise a habit.   Dr. Beth Lewis, psychologist and Director of the School of Kinesiology in the U of M’s College of Education and Human Development, conducts research on how to motivate people to exercise regularly. And recently, she has been studying the effects of exercise on depression in pregnant and postpartum women. Drawing her research on exercise and mental health, Beth joins Marti & Erin for an informative and motivating conversation about ways to stick to an exercise program, how to help your children make exercise a regular part of their routine and how much exercise we need in order to reap optimal benefits for our physical and mental health.   How much exercise do you get in a typical week? How about your kids? And how does that measure up to the most recent guidelines, described by Dr. Beth Lewis in this podcast? Think of three small steps you could take to enhance the way exercise is integrated into your family’s daily life.   Related resources: College of Education + Human Development Exercise Pregnancy Study, Healthy Mom Program Physical activity guidelines for during pregnancy and postpartum Healthy moms article by Dr. Beth Lewis Maintaining Your Mental Health –For Your Sake and Your Children’s by Marti Erickson

Don’t let anyone tell you that stories about motherhood are boring! As writer and teacher Kate Hopper knows, a motherhood story can make us laugh, cry, nod in agreement and gasp in shock. It sheds new light on familiar experiences and calls us to new adventures. So, for 13 years, Kate has brought outstanding women writers to Minneapolis to read and discuss their work at her annual Motherhood & Words event. Marti & Erin are proud to bring this event to you again this year.   Sit back and listen as Anika Fajardo reads from Magical Realism for Non-Believers, her memoir about connecting with her Colombian father, becoming a mother and creating her own kind of family. Enjoy the powerful poems of April Gibson, who wrote about her experiences as a teen mother in her poetry collection Automation. Hear Kate Hopper read from her essay about the power of music in girls’ and women’s lives, drawing together strands from her own recent experience learning to play bass, a groundbreaking all-girl band in the 1970s and a major depression in college. And finally, listen to Janine Kovac read from her memoir Spinning, which weaves together the births of her micro-preemie twins and her history as a professional ballet dancer.   What did you hear in these readings that resonated with your own motherhood story and experiences as a woman? What in these readings inspires you to explore something new or to view familiar experiences in new ways?   Related resources: Kate Hopper website Anika Fajardo website April Gibson website Janine Kovac website The 12th Annual Motherhood & Words Reading

Women are significantly more likely than men to have co-occurring addiction and mental health disorders, including eating disorders, with implications for how to engage and support women in getting the help they need.   Dr. Sarah Wicks, a clinical psychologist at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, joins Marti & Erin in this week’s Mom Enough episode to discuss unique challenges faced by women dealing with addiction and, more broadly, how to approach a loved one (male or female) you believe has a substance use problem. She highlights how to approach the loved one in ways that will help the person be receptive rather than push away. Dr. Wicks also offers special advice for parents who suspect their teen may have problems with alcohol or drugs, pointing out the greater effect of those substances on the brains of people under 25. She introduces Marti & Erin to services tailored to teens and their parents, including outpatient services and phone coaching for parents.   Have women or girls in your family or circle of friends faced substance use problems? Other mental health issues? How was that similar to or different from what you have observed with males you have known? What do you think would help to reduce barriers to women getting treatment for addiction and mental health disorders?   Related resources: Connection for Families phone-based coaching sessions Teen Intervene education, support & guidance for teens & their parents Women, Alcohol Misuse and Keys to Prevention and Recovery featuring Carrie Kappel Women and Alcohol featuring Jill Seward

When Lenore Skenazy wrote about letting her then nine-year-old son ride the subway alone in New York City, she never imagined the uproar it would cause. But she didn’t let the cries of “bad mother” deter her from her mission of allowing her two sons to explore and flourish and build the life skills needed to navigate their world – to raise free range kids.   Now, through her writing, speaking and working creatively with schools and communities, Lenore is leading a movement to back off from helicopter parenting and Let Grow, as she named the nonprofit she and colleagues created. Tune into her lively discussion with Marti & Erin and then reflect on how you can let the children in your life be free range kids!   In what ways did you roam freely in your childhood? How are things the same or different for your children, and why? What do you think are the risks of protecting and directing kids so strongly in childhood and adolescence?   Related resources: Let Grow Let Grow blog Let Grow schools Free-Range Kids book Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone article by Lenore Skenazy Unleashing the Instinct to Play featuring Peter Gray Supporting Your Child’s Gradual Development of Healthy Independence by Marti Erickson

We all feel anxious at times, worrying about a stressful situation and maybe letting our feelings spiral out of control as we imagine a worst possible outcome. This is true for children, as well as adults; in fact, many studies show that anxiety in kids is on the rise, and at least one in twenty experience serious anxiety, including panic attacks and obsessive-compulsive behavior. When anxiety is persistent and severe, children need professional help. But, whether a child’s anxiety is severe or relatively mild, how parents respond makes a difference.   Psychoanalyst Dr. Laurie Hollman has taught graduate courses at NYU and is author of two new companion books, The Busy Parent’s Guide to Managing Anxiety in Children and Teens and The Busy Parent’s Guide to Managing Anger in Children and Teens. She joins Marti & Erin to talk about her 5-step approach, which is very compatible with the “reflective parenting” Marti & Erin speak about so often. One of their favorite parenting nuggets from Laurie is, “The louder you feel like talking, the softer you need to speak.” Listen for more words of wisdom on this important topic!   What were Dr. Hollman’s five steps for responding to your child’s anxiety? Think of a recent situation in which you tried to soothe your child’s anxiety. What would you have done differently if you had followed the five recommended steps for responding to anxiety in kids?   Related resources: Books by Dr. Laurie Hollman Blog by Dr. Laurie Hollman School Anxiety tip sheet by Marti Erickson Separation Anxiety tip sheet by Marti Erickson Being a Reflective Parent, Raising Reflective Children tip sheet by Marti Erickson  

When parents have a child with special needs, they often find that much of their time and energy goes into caring and advocating for that child. And they often experience a wide range of emotions about the daily challenges, hopes and uncertain future for their child. But what about siblings of a child with special needs? What are the common emotional challenges for them? And what are the possible benefits of living with – and learning from – a sibling with special needs?   In this Mom Enough show, Lori Brown-De Alba and Angie Bellefeuille from St. David's Center bring years of experience working with children with special needs and their parents and siblings, offering practical tips and helpful resources for parents and other caring adults.   Think of a family you know who has a child with special needs, as well as at least one child who is typically developing. What do you notice about the siblings of a child with special needs? For example, does that child seem more caring, patient or mature than most children his or her age? Does the child appear embarrassed by the sibling with special needs or perhaps resentful of the attention that sibling receives? What new insights or practical ideas did you get from this Mom Enough show?   Related resources: Autism Resource List with suggested books & websites from St. David's Center Playing with Children with Special Needs tip sheet from St. David's Center Autism Day Treatment Program at St. David's Center Sibling Squabbles tip sheet by Marti Erickson

Before contemplating how to be a happier parent, we should think back to when we decided to become parents. We probably envisioned the fun of playing with our children, laughter and conversations around the dinner table and pride and joy in watching our children grow and learn. But, for many of us, we find those images replaced by days of rushed meals (or just a snack bar in the car), hectic drives from one sports event or music lesson to another and exhausted family members spending more time with their tech devices than with each other.   Writer KJ Dell’Antonia, former editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog, wanted to find out what had happened to happiness and what it would take for parents to find the joy they longed for. As she explains in her lively discussion with Marti & Erin on how to be a happier parent, KJ learned that joy comes with small changes – not by doing more, but by doing things differently. And she learned that when parents are happier, kids are too!   When are you happiest in your life as a parent? When are you least happy – and maybe sad, angry or resentful? What small changes could you make in your daily life to try to create more genuine happiness for you and your children?   Related resources: Book by KJ Dell’Antonia Blog by KJ Dell’Antonia When Parents Disagree about the Best Way to Raise Their Children tip sheet by Marti Erickson Encouragement: The Power Tool of Parenting tip sheet from St. David’s Center Loosening the Reins When Children Become Teens and Young Adults tip sheet by Marti Erickson Recognizing & Managing Parental Stress tip sheet from St. David’s Center

Have you shaken your head in disbelief when kids call the shots and parents allow their children to defy them, berate them or even bully them? Or have you been that parent yourself, allowing your child (tot or teen) to have that authority?   Therapist Sean Grover has seen the consequences of this unfortunate parenting approach and, in his practice, has helped many parents reclaim their power, with healthy results for both children and parents. He has pulled together what he has learned in his book, When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from your Darling Bully and Enjoy Parenting Again. With compassion and clarity, Sean identifies the underlying issues of guilt, anxiety and over-involvement that often lead parents to give up their authority. And he offers practical steps for restoring a healthy balance of power in family relations. Don’t miss Sean’s important and helpful discussion with Marti & Erin!   What did Sean identify as common reasons shared by parents for when kids call the shots? How have you experienced those issues of guilt, anxiety or a desire to make things easy for your child? How could it harm a child in the long run to be allowed to bully parents or to always have their way?   Related resources: Articles by Sean Grover Effective Communication with Your Adolescent Child tip sheet by Marti Erickson Defiance article by Marti Erickson Dad’s a Softie article by Marti Erickson Demanding 2-year-old article by Marti Erickson