Live Life With Purpose with Adam Smith

In 2008, I turned down my first speaking gig for a marketing convention. In 2009, I did the same thing again. Needless to say, I was trying to communicate that I didn’t want to be a marketer, or even come across as a marketer. In 2013, I was asked to speak at another marketing convention, and in 2014 I was asked to do a keynote on how to make more money online, both of which I turned down, too. As far as marketers go, most but not all of them remind me of sleazy car salesmen. Maybe your first thought of marketing goes to the same mental picture, as well. The people that asked me to speak at all of those events expected me to be this same classic marketer, and wanted me to tell people that all they needed to do was x, y, and z, and they would make millions of dollars from it. I knew this is what they wanted, so I graciously declined. But, here’s the truth about marketing: Everything you do is marketing. Marketing then isn’t just the sale, as in the case of the sleazy car salesman, but it’s about creating relationship. One can not offer the best product or service until he or she understands their client. The classic marketing scene isn’t my forte, because of my belief that everything someone does is marketing. The way someone talks to others, the way someone writes ad copy, the way someone’s website appears — it all culminates to the relationships we create with each other in real life, or online. But, even more than all of these things, the number one way that someone can market themselves well is to produce the best product they possibly can. If you have a terrible product, the rest of these things don’t even matter. Don’t waste your time. When you focus on your product, word of mouth marketing will do the work for you. People can’t resist telling other people about a great product that they need to try for themselves. If you’re putting more time, or even the same amount of time into your marketing plan as you have into coming up with your idea or creating your product, then you have a huge problem. Make your product the best it can possibly be, and the rest will be much easier. If it’s a service that you offer, then make it the best that you can make it. Whatever it is that you are trying to sell, the more time and work you put into it, the better it will be. I wish I had a sexier answer for marketing, but it’s the only answer that I know will work. When you have a terrible product, you end up having to convince people to buy it. When you have a great product, you can’t wait to tell others about it, because you know they will love it, and it will improve their lives. I want to help people, and I know you do, too. Now, go and become better at marketing, today.

Whether you are a writer, an entrepreneur, in management, or any other profession for that matter, at some point you will probably have some direct impact on helping create better products. Last week, we discussed how we can have better ideas, but today I want to talk about taking those ideas and forming them into a better product. Why do we need to focus on this? Because the most valuable places in this world are graveyards. This is because each gravestone marks a body in the ground, which represents ideas that never went further than just an idea. I am positive that every individual that has left this earth did so with at least one great idea in their head, but the sad truth is that they did nothing with it. They had something more valuable than money in their possession, and they squandered it. So, how do we prevent this from happening? Here are four ways you can create better products with your ideas right now: Create a great team. Build a team with skills you don’t already possess, not only to speed up the process, but to make the product the best it can possibly be. I don’t do web design, not only because I don’t want to do, but because I am not good at it. I have never taken the time to learn coding, and I don’t plan on doing so. I’ve showed my inadequacies in this area many times in the past with my different blogs. I’m just good enough at design to break something, and then I am forced to scramble to make it work again before people get upset. It’s very frustrating and time consuming, so I decided long ago that I am best suited for other things. I tell you all of this to show that I know my strengths, and you should to. Know your strengths, build a better team around your strengths, but not with the same strengths, and create better products as a result. Build better products that you need yourself.  The conversation centered around what people want and need is a very valuable conversation. Many surveys every year are conducted for this very reason, and companies pay other online companies big bucks to track how consumers use web pages, so they know how to display messages and ads online. It’s a huge industry, and it’s great to be ahead of the curve, but what if you don’t have the resources as a company to conduct these experiments yet? Your best option is to create something for yourself. Stop wondering what other people want and need, and start building something for yourself. Since you are a consumer of goods already, and you already have a basic understanding of what you want and need, maybe the best question to ask is, “What do I want to use?” If you began with step number one and already have a team, then maybe the best question is, “What would this team use on a daily basis?” As an example, I personally need an app that will tell me exactly where things are located in the grocery store so I can save time, so that’s where I should start. Take your time.  I am cautious of the advice of “just do it”, because the more we adopt this slogan for our lives, the more likely we are to take every first product idea that comes our way and run with it. And let me tell you, very rarely is the first idea the best one. When you take your time with building a product, you have a better product in the end. No matter what profession you are in, taking your time can make all the difference in the world. Revolutionize an industry that already exists. Maybe the issue you are experiencing is trying to come up with a completely different category of product. While it would be amazing if you could create a new category, it is much more likely that you can make an already existing product or category better. Think about technology for a minute. How many more great ideas have there been in the area of technology over the past ten years?

There are many great ideas that have been had over time that people gave up on, or forgot about, or just didn’t feel like working towards. Next week, I’ll tell you how you can produce better products with your great ideas, but this week I only want to focus on the idea stage. This is where the magic happens. This is where products are given life. Here are three ways to begin having more great ideas right now: Great ideas are produced by living life and then entering the idea phase. We can look at ideas from the past ten years, and see that they are different in many ways. The things that are available to us now comes from being able to put more time into research, more time to think up new ideas, and more time to test our own limits. Your ideas right now will hopefully be better than they were ten years ago. You have had ten more years of experience influencing your ideas — ten more years of taking action, ten more years of joy, and ten more years of struggle. Living life, and living it to the full, is the best way to have great ideas. If you are having trouble with coming up with new ideas, leave isolation and live more life. It is in every day living that fresh ideas will come, because the best ideas are birthed out of experience. The experiences that have happened to you help shape the ideas that you have. Who your ideas are for and what problems your ideas help solve are based on how you see the world. Your personal needs and wants will even help form the direction you take with your life to impact the world. The possibilities are endless, but it is your journey that helps you find your place in the world. The reason that there are so many different ideas is that there are so many people in this world. We are all wired so differently, and that’s a beautiful thing. What becomes even more remarkable is when people ask the question, “Who else has the same idea as me?” When people ask this question and will find other people to join them, ideas become bigger and will spread faster. An even better question to ask is, “Who has different ideas than me and will collaborate?” Again, we need to live more life, find more people to join, and produce better ideas to better the world. Great ideas are meant to be built upon. The reason that I give you three or more ideas every post, is that maybe all three ideas won’t work for you, but most likely, at least one of them will. The other reason that I do this is because one idea is very rarely sufficient on its own. Ideas are meant to be built upon. If an idea comes to you, write it down to capture it, but don’t consider it your final idea. Your ideas are meant to connect the dots, so others can enjoy your creation. Very rarely are ideas completely original at first, but it is when you piece all of your ideas that fit together into a package where you create an original idea. My own practice is to grab two ideas that have one similarity or more, to see how they relate and to see how they’re different. Once I have have an idea of how they fit together, I take two brand new ideas that are completely different from the first batch, and then find something similar between those two ideas. And at the end, I take the first result and the second result, which are opposite in some way, and then try to connect the dots between the opposites. This is where original ideas are born. I use this practice in my writing, but I learned the concept from the automotive industry. Car makers produce new types of cars given this formula. This is why we see vehicles by companies that look nothing like other cars they have produced in the past. Great ideas require fascination.  Yes, the idea process that I just described is a time-consuming process. But, it produces original ideas, so I find that it’s worth it. At the core of all of this is a fascination for the product you want t...

Living a great life is hardly ever easy, and most of it seems like a constant fight. That’s why these episodes are so important to listen to. They give a glimpse into some things that I have used personally to find success. No, I’m not even close to having everything figured out, but most people keep wisdom to themselves when they find it. I’m quite the opposite. If I find wisdom, I can’t wait to give it away, in hopes that you will maybe find something valuable that you can apply in your own life. So, if you’ve ever wondered, “Why has Adam and his team produced free content for the past five years?”, the answer is that we care about people. I figure that you are a good enough reason to do all of this, so I continue to provide value. No matter what issues you’re facing, there’s an underlying truth applies to all of us — we have to learn how to fight. Things will not happen on their own. I’m sorry to break it to you, but a wish and a prayer is not enough. We need a plan, we need determination, and we need to be willing to put the work in. Maybe you are fighting with waking up when you want to, or maybe you are fighting with spending enough time with your family, or maybe you are fighting with what to do with your business or career to make it better, or maybe you are fighting with making time for friends, or maybe you are fighting with what to do with your finances, or maybe you are fighting with the best ways to better your health. Whatever the case may be, there is hope for you. How do I know this? Because, you will never fight for something you don’t truly care about. The fact that you are fighting with it and wrestling for good change in your life, tells me that at least an ounce of your being wants to become better in your needed area of change. And the best part of this is that striving to become better is the best start to change that you could ever have. Stop beating yourself up for not getting immediate results. It is a process to get to where you want to be, and that’s a beautiful thing. Life is intended to be a journey. So, here are three ways you can be better prepared to fight for a better life right now: Surround yourself with people. If we were all perfect, we wouldn’t need anyone else in our lives. Life is all about relationship, and when we give ourselves to that idea, we are able to not only strengthen ourselves, but those around us. In the midst of pain, in the midst of rejoicing, life is meant to be lived together. Within our relationships with family, friends, and even our business relationships, we can learn from those around us, and we can impart the wisdom we pick up along the way into the lives of others, as well. Nothing is gained when wisdom is kept to one’s self, but you must first believe in the power of relationship. Here are twelve tips on how you can begin building more relationships right now: * Become known for having the most open schedule. * Make it easy for everyone involved. * Be yourself. * Find common ground. * Gather everyone together. * Give hugs instead of handshakes. * Listen. * Keep eye contact. * Ask better questions. * Become better at remembering names. * Be a giver of small gifts. * Find ways to compliment others. Know what it is you are up against.   Do you know what you want from life? If you do, that’s great. But, it’s time to not only know what you want from life — it’s time to take action. Stand tall, fight the good fight, and press forward. Too many times people will just take life as it comes to them, but if you already know what you want from life, there’s no point in standing around. Make a plan for action and go do something amazing. If your biggest fears seem too big to face, it’s time to fight. If it’s a current circumstance you are having to endure, it’s time to fight. Only go for one thing.

God gave us brains for a reason. This being said, “Just do it” is terrible advice, when there has been no preparation put into the “it”. I never want to confuse people, so after I wrote the phrase “If you keep waiting for the perfect time to begin, you’ll be waiting for a very long time” on my social media accounts the other day, I knew that I needed to give you more context. Please know that everything in life is a process, and that while there is no better time to begin than now, you shouldn’t be taking one giant leap towards your goal. “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is truth, not just some saying that sounds good. It truly is dedication to your journey, paired with persevereance to push you through difficulty along the way that makes you stronger, wiser, and better in the end. You cannot just go and start a business without any prior training in a specific field and expect to succeed. In fact, you can apply this principle to anything you want to do. To “just do it” and throw tons of money into a business, or a project without knowing what you are doing is both dumb and irresponsible. So, here are four ways you can wisely achieve your end goals, while experiencing less frustration along the way: Make A Plan I will always go back to the need for this great advice. It’s never simple to construct a good plan, but it’s always worth the time. Planning allows you to dream, it allows you to form your future, and it helps you see your full potential. It’s fun to imagine what life can be with a little bit of imagination and a lot of work. Following a plan is even more difficult than constructing it, but the only way to reap benefits is to put forth effort. Make a plan, execute it, and enjoy the reward. And if things don’t work out as planned — which sometimes they don’t — there’s always plan b. Ten years ago, I wrote down my top goal in life, and it just so happens that I’m working on the dream right now. Knowing what I wanted to do ten years ago allowed me to consistently work at becoming better, which brings me to my second tip — take baby steps. Take Baby Steps If something isn’t working, then it’s probably because you missed a step along the way, and need to take the time to evaluate the situation at hand, before you continue to move forward. The advice of “just do it” makes you want to have your dreams right away, but life just doesn’t work this way. Honestly, the process is the most enjoyable part. It’s where you make mistakes, it’s where you learn from the mess that life is, it’s where you impact people along the way, and it’s where you realize just how far you’ve come. The journey is necessary to prepare you for your even brighter future. You just have to be willing to find patience, determination, and discipline. The question is, are you willing to put the time in? Build Security for the Future What this brings to mind in my own journey is that I’ve built a business while owning another, more secure business to bring in other income. It is what has proven to work in my own life, and I would recommend it to others as well. Sure, it’s a lot of work, but such is life. People need to stop trying to escape work, and instead embrace it, for it is the time and effort we put in our work that can strengthen our desire to see success. There is no need to put things in jeopardy of collapsing, when it may only take another year or two to see your dreams come true. What you need is more patience, not more achievements. What people have lost sight of is the need to enjoy life along the journey that is life. When people lose sight of this truth, the road to their dreams becomes miserable, not enjoyable. And if you can’t enjoy the pursuit of the things that you want most ou...

We are all unique and that is a beautiful thing. Some are more introverted, who like to keep to themselves in most instances, and lose energy from being around other people. Then there are extroverts, who are energized by being around other people and talking to them. Extroverts, of course, are more outspoken, and can tend to rule most conversations. For those of you who don’t quite fit into either of these two classic categories, then there are ambiverts — people who exhibit qualities of both introversion and extroversion. Some people will give introverts a hard time, because they don’t say enough. And some will give extroverts a hard time, because they say too much. Yes, depending on which category you fall into has a lot to do with how you handle yourself in conversation, but it has nothing to do with common sense and courtesy. And no matter which category you fall into, when people come to talk to you about something, it doesn’t mean they always want or need your opinion. Too often, people forget the power found in listening. With becoming better communicators, it is important to not only focus on what we say, and how we say it, but we all need to become better listeners, too. Here are three ways to know if you are better at listening first or giving your opinion too soon: Is your first response to speak or to listen? Knowing the answer to this question will tell you whether you lean towards giving your opinion first, or if your first response is to listen to the needs of others. An example of this in my own life was when I had a friend who came to me because he was having trouble in every area of life. He was going through a very rough season, and just needed someone to talk to. I was fortunate enough to see this as an opportunity to just listen, so I sat there on the phone for an hour and fifteen minutes listening to my friend on the other side of the phone spilling his guts out for me to listen to. You know what would have really messed this opportunity up? If I would have interjected at some point along the way. The conversation went where it was supposed to go. If I would have stopped him along the way, I would have been selfish in controlling the conversation and forcing it to go where I wanted it to go. If you don’t listen, what you say won’t make any sense to the other person. But, you want to know what happened at the end of the conversation? He asked me what he should do. That’s right. I waited my turn. It didn’t take me forcing my opinion on him, but he asked for advice when he was ready to hear what I would have to say. Too often people interject their own needs into a conversation, without ever considering what the other person needs. Advice said at the wrong time falls on deaf ears, which doesn’t help anyone. In most cases, people will ask you for your opinion if they really want it. If they don’t ask for it, they will ask someone else, figure it out for themselves, or read advice in a book or online from a respected source. I promise that you don’t have to have all the answers, nor should you put that sort of pressure on yourself. People need friends who will just be there for them, and just being this person for others is enough. Sometimes, the need for human interaction just needs another person to listen, and that’s okay. Do people come to you for advice? If someone has communicated that they are coming to you for advice, then by all means, give it. But, it is very different if someone is just coming to you to talk. This is where two-way communication and listening to see what other people need from you is important. If people repeatedly come to you for advice, then it is probably a good sign that you are great at both giving advice and listening. You see, the two go hand in hand.

About two months ago, I had a phone conversation with an editor friend of mine that I will probably never forget. She kept asking questions about me that she wanted lengthier answers to. Whatever I would say about myself, it just wasn’t enough, and as a result, she would then dig deeper. The issue was that I typically let my work speak for itself, and don’t usually care to ramble about my accomplishments. She finally said, “Adam, you have to learn how to talk about yourself more. People want and need to know more about your work, and you need to give that to them.” I simply replied, “I know”, and I began talking about something else to divert attention to a different topic. The truth is that I have never felt very comfortable talking about myself for extended periods of time in a conversation, as I have always been afraid that it would come off arrogant, or as bragging, or as overconfident. The phone conversation that day got me thinking about the online world as we know it. Everyone is trying to sell something, everyone has something to say, and everyone wants our attention. There is much more junk on the internet than there are diamonds, or even diamonds in the rough for that matter, so we are forced to wade through all the junk to find the gems. Giving people unbridled accessibility to their very own platform has created this madness. This is why it is so important to find our audience, and to build trust with them. And a great way to start building trust is to repeatedly produce great work. Don’t become known for producing junk. When those who have found belief in the message you are sharing, they will share the information you need delivered, both online and by word of mouth in real life. Yes, producing credibility with your team, or audience, extends your reach even further. Just about the worst thing we could do then is to squander opportunities to impact people with actual important things to say, and product that can seriously help people live better lives. The more unimportant information that you share, the more noise that is contributed to the already noisy world, and the less long-term attention that is earned. So, how can we effectively communicate as leaders online? How can we be more confident in telling others about ourselves and our brand? If you do all of these things, then I can guarantee you that you will build your audience. As someone who runs an online business, communicating with you — my audience — is extremely important. It’s what creates more opportunities and supplies more resources for me to reach more people. And I’m guessing that if you are listening to this or reading this, then you are at least remotely interested in what I have to say. We can all start with viewing people who share information with us online as individuals who are trying to build credibility, not as people who are trying to show off. Many times, I can base my assumptions off of previous encounters with people who have ruined my perspective of even new individuals I come in contact with, which isn’t fair to anyone. I remember reading a leadership book one time that said credibility is the foundation of leadership, and it makes a lot of sense. If people don’t believe in you, then they will never be able to believe in your message. For people to follow, they must know that they can trust you, and to do so, they need to know who you truly are. Both the good and the bad — people need all aspects to be able to build real relationship. So, here are six specific areas to focus on to produce more credibility in your own life: * It begins with your character. * Realize that you don’t know everything. In doing this, you will find what you do know and focus on those things. Doing this will increase your expertise in your specific field of study and work. * Practice, practice, practice. * Go the extra mile and over-deliver. * Be who you are,

“Life is just too hectic every single day.” Does this sound like something you’ve said about your life? If it does, then I have something different for you to try. I know you have tried managing your time better, because that is our first response to feeling that there isn’t enough time in a day, but have you given any thought to increasing your capacity? What could you do if you had more focus? Could you handle your amount of focus better than the amount of time you have in your current season of life? Too many times, people focus on the fact that they have so little time left in the day to accomplish what they want to after meeting all of their necessities. This amount of time may be thirty minutes, one hour, four hours, or anything in-between, but the most important thing to remember is that it isn’t about how much time you have in your day, but it’s what you do with it that counts. This means that whatever amount of time you have in your day to work on the most important things in life, it is more about the amount of focus you put into it, rather than the amount of time you have. When we are able to find our best focus we can do more with one hour than most can do with four. We all know people who seem to be able to accomplish more with their time than anyone else. Focus, not time, is the one thing that those same people understand more than anyone else. Focus increases productivity, which leads to better time management. When I began to see how managing focus rather than time worked in my own life, I began accomplishing more than ever before, and it can do the same for you. Very rarely are any of us able to increase the amount of time we have in a day, but we have all tried to find more of it. Instead of heightening our focus, we try to add time so we can take longer to do tasks that should take days, not weeks. This, of course, is procrastination. Putting things off until the last second then is not a time issue, but an issue with focus. And the first place to look at when needing to increase focus is the amount of things we have going on in our lives. Is your plate too full? As our lives continue, we tend to add more things. It’s only natural. But, the one thing we tend to forget is the need to quit things. For many of us, the easy thing to do is to add, but the much more difficult task is to quit. Never forget the need for both as you strive to live a balanced life. So, now that you understand the need for adding more to you life, while quitting things along the way, you are now ready to understand how you can apply a larger amount of focus to your own life. I have already done podcasts about the importance of getting the correct amounts of sleep for your individual needs, exercising, eating the right foods, and quitting the right things, but maybe you have tried all of these things and need something more to work with. If things just aren’t working the way you want them to in the area of time management, the issue may be that you aren’t asking the right questions yet. Here are the four questions you need to ask yourself to see if you can increase the amount of focus in your life: Who is influencing me?  Notice that I did not ask you who the people are that are around you, because some people don’t have control over who they are around, especially at work. (No, my advice to you will never be to run away from every job where you don’t like someone. If that was my advice, then it would be very difficult for you to ever find a job. I can guarantee you that at one job or another in your lifetime, you will work with someone who you don’t perfectly see eye-to-eye with in some way. People are different, and that’s a beautiful thing.) However, it is important to take notice of the people you allow to influence you and speak into your life.

The main problem with businesses and individuals holding onto fear is that they don’t see how much their fears affect both employees and customers. Sure, they may know that fear is what is keeping them from reaching their full potential, but they still aren’t able to look at their reality. They refuse to see what is really happening, and end up avoiding contact with their biggest issues at all costs. Please know that it is only when you accept that fear will come and that you will need to learn to move through it that you will begin moving forward. It is here where we truly see the importance of looking at our fears. Plain and simple, for things to become better, we must face the facts. Is doing this easy? Absolutely not, but it is essential for any sort of growth to take place. If looking at your current reality has proven difficult for you, I have three ways for you to begin dealing with your fears in more effective ways, starting right now. 1. Surround yourself with people who will be honest with you. There are too many people who surround themselves with people who only agree with them. This is a huge mistake no matter which way you look at it. When people don’t agree with you it forces you to look at things from every perspective, not just your own. Doing this relinquishes your right to not analyze reality. Even if you don’t want to, others will help you see the full picture. When people only tell you what you want to hear, the facts are clouded and the opportunity of making things right isn’t given. If you are a CEO, an entrepreneur, in human resources, or are in management, I would recommend you look at your staff and pinpoint the ones who will be honest with you about everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly. You should actually make this a requirement of the ones you want in your inner circle. These are the people who you want to ask for feedback from when you need to make a critical decision. These are the people you want on your team. 2. Answer the question, “Why do I do what I do?” This question requires you to become super focused with what you do in life, because if the why doesn’t matter, then the decision has to be made if you should be doing it at all. Life is too short to spend time doing stuff that doesn’t line up with where you want to go. When the why is answered and it lines up with your goals, then all the work that will help you get to where you want to be will be worth it. In reality, a lot of work along the way isn’t necessarily fun, even when you are working towards your goals, but the fact that it is necessary to move you forward makes it all worth it. I love being an entrepreneur, but even with having employees, I still have to do paperwork and gather tax information, which isn’t fun for me. There are also meetings that I attend which aren’t the most fun, but they inform me of what I need to know for the future. Honestly, I’ve found that there are necessary parts of owning businesses that aren’t always fun. The old saying of “you don’t work a day in your life when you enjoy what you do” sounds good, but it just isn’t true. Even though I want to tell you that life is only full of rainbows and cotton candy, there will be some days that there will be work you don’t necessarily want to do, but it is part of a much bigger plan of falling in love with the why. I am sure you can relate to what I am saying here in some way. Knowing the why behind doing the work you love and the work that you wish you didn’t have to do will be what motivates you through all of the days you are doing the not so fun stuff along the way. When you answer the why, it will be the heart that prompts you to look at what is really happening, rather than the false reality you have created in your mind. Every action needs a purpose, so when you decide to look at the reason you do what you do, looking at ways to improve will be seen in a different perspective.

Lately, I have been thinking more and more about the words I use, and the words I don’t use anymore. The old saying of “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a lie. Let’s face it — words matter. The words that you use say a lot about what you and your company stands for. That’s why not only individuals are being condemned for what they say on social media, but businesses are also subject to the same standards for their choice of words, as well. There are some words that people just shouldn’t use because they make others feel bad, and then there are others that you shouldn’t use because they just don’t make any sense. Whether you are an individual or a business, the same rules apply to you. So, here are the six words that I no longer use in my vocabulary, and the reasons why I have stopped using them: Aspiring This is my least favorite word in the English language. Stop trying to do what you have always wanted to do, and just be what you want to be. I have previously used the word “aspiring” when I wanted to become a writer, but now I am a writer. I used to be an aspiring entrepreneur, but now I am an entrepreneur. What’s the difference?  I stopped using the word “aspiring” and decided to take action. Individuals and businesses, stop saying you want to do something, and instead begin working towards your goals of being what you want to be. Stop aspiring, and start doing. Failure I talked about this word last week, but I still don’t like it. “I’m a failure.” “We are doomed for failure.” “You are a failure.” Pick any sentence that you want to — it doesn’t sound good in any context. “I made some mistakes.” “We made some mistakes.” “You made some mistakes.” Mistakes can be fixed and learned from, and failure…well, failure is doomed for failure. Do us all a favor and please find another word to use instead of this dreadful one. You are never a failure and your business is never a failure either, so stop speaking and acting like one. Hate I’m referring to using this word in the context of hating things that don’t deserve one of the harshest words in the English language.When using this word for no good reason, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. I know I can’t be the only person that feels this way. If you or your company uses this word for marketing materials, or even just lingo around the office, please find another word. Fill in the blank: “I hate _____.” However you finished that sentence to describe something that doesn’t deserve the word, it sounds bad. I had to stop using it when I heard other people use it, and would play the sentence on repeat inside my head for days on end. Maybe it’s something I heard from another kid when I was growing up and it has stuck with me for this many years, but whatever it is, the word doesn’t sit well with me. “I despise”, “I don’t like”, “I really don’t like”, “I loathe”, “I detest” — take your pick. Just about any word is better than hate. Impossible I used to use this word a lot, but I found that it defeats any attempt that I am getting ready to make, before I even begin. Remember, words are powerful. “You know, people have told me that it’s impossible, but I am maybe going to give it a try.” sounds a lot worse than, “I know that I can do this, because I have been preparing for this moment for years. It’s definitely possible.” If you are working within your strength set, and have been working towards your goals like we talk about repeatedly, then nothing you do is impossible. In fact, it’s most likely probable. Fearless Lately,

We have all worked for people who are leaders, and those who are bosses. We learn what we should do by looking at the lives of leaders, and we learn what not to do by looking at the actions of bosses. Maybe you are wondering if you work for a leader or a boss, or you may need to know if you are a leader or a boss yourself. Here are the four main differences between the two, and they are anything but subtle: Leaders inspire others to act by being out front, and bosses expect everyone else to do all the work. As the picture shows above, leaders aren’t afraid to go first. They realize that it is difficult to go first sometimes, so they will lead in order to release the tension for others. Going first allows others to go next with less hesitation and more boldness. You can lead by testing the waters and telling others if it is okay for them to dive in. Leaders also don’t expect others to do all the work. In fact, I would say that one of the most important attributes for a leader to possess is the willingness to work hard. Things will never just happen on their own, but with hard work over time, positive results can take place. But before the work takes place, leaders realize the importance of giving motivation to the entire team. Employees need to know the why behind the necessity of moving ahead. Giving employees the reason behind doing things is important, so a better work environment can be created. Employees must believe that their work makes a meaningful contribution in order to make the biggest possible impact through their work. When leaders paint this picture well, their company will thrive. When bosses don’t do this, all motivation will be lost. Leaders have vision for the future and are proactive, but bosses only maintain what they already have and are reactive to situations. When you or who you work for can see out ahead before problems happen, the entire team gets to enjoy the benefits. This is leading at its finest. Taking care of issues so others don’t have to deal with them shows employees that those around them care about their well-being. This concept not only applies to dealing with problems, but having this visionary mentality will create tremendous growth. If systems can be set in place now that can make the future better, then by all means please begin this necessary conversation now within your company, whether you have a leadership title or not. (You don’t need a title to lead; you just need a voice.) Having visionaries in leadership is a necessity for your company to be relevant twenty years from now, and being proactive ensures that your entire team will head in the right direction over time. Leaders are creative with the plan when they need to be, and bosses only know one plan. When a plan doesn’t work out, is your company paralyzed, or is a new plan quickly formed and executed? Leaders are great at this, but bosses are not. Leaders care about relationships, whereas bosses care about their title. Of course, businesses won’t be around for long without making money, but that is a byproduct of creating an environment where people want to be, employees and customers alike. A team whose leadership cares about them as individuals will produce more benefits than teams who don’t have a leadership team who builds relationships with them. Bosses who solely focus on the bottom line, pushing all focus on relationships aside to command orders from their team just because they have a management title, will cause burnout in employees. In doing this, they won’t be left with anyone who wants to work for them. What these bosses don’t realize is that added revenue is always a byproduct of happy employees interacting with customers on a daily basis. People want to buy from companies who offer great service and a remarkable guest experience, and building relationships with your team is a great place to start leading right away....

Two years ago on a cold December morning, I met a friend for breakfast at his hotel. He had a speaking engagement in town, and I took the opportunity to spend some time with him. He may be my most confident friend (in a good way, not in that overconfident annoying way), and one of the smartest people I know, so I try to learn from him whenever I can. The way he talks, the way he gestures, the way he listens, the way he loves people — it all conveys a very confident message. The message he portrays with his life is one that I hadn’t spent much time paying attention to before, but after spending that morning with him, he began telling me the things that made him the person that he is today. Of course, I couldn’t jot down notes from our conversation fast enough. I wrote down 14 points that day, along with my own commentary, and each discipline can make you more confident right now. Here they are: Accept yourself for who you are. Who are you? You need to know this by heart and own it. There is only one you, and you have so much to offer to the rest of the world. Find what you believe in and fight for it. The older I get, the more fed up I become with staying quiet. Life has definitely changed me, and maybe it has done the same for you. There’s too much to do, and not enough people doing the right things. You will know that you are fighting for what you believe in when you begin to set trends, rather than following them. Study. Typically, the reason that people feel insecure is because they don’t know enough about the subject they have a lack of confidence in. Studying a subject is one of the best ways you can build confidence in a specific area immediately. Surround yourself with confidence boosters. The people you surround yourself with and the messages you listen to affect the way you see yourself. Having encouragers around you can only help with boosting your confidence. Don’t stand for humiliation. When there has been a culture of humiliation that is created, growth is suppressed. If you are being humiliated or you see others that are being humiliated, don’t allow it. You have the right and responsibility to speak up. This is the only time I will say this, but you have to focus on both your strengths and weaknesses. Confidence is more situational for most people. I am guessing that the things you are feeling less confident in are the same things that you consider your weaknesses to be. Being a jack of all trades has many advantages, and this way, you can take advantage of them as well. When you find success, celebrate it. Too many people skip over their successes, and only focus on their failures. This is nonsense. When you put time and work into anything that is a success, it calls for celebration. I don’t care what it is – when you are successful, you need to recognize it. Be positive. When you are positive about the future, you remain hopeful for a better outcome. When you are pessimistic, it is much easier to lose hope in finding confidence. Positivity begins with self-talk. Don’t wait for others to lift your spirits, but instead speak words of life to yourself. Cheer others on, but don’t compare yourself to others in an unhealthy way. Be there for others to encourage them along the way, but never let comparison be your measurement of accomplishment. This is why knowing who you are and pursuing the things you want out of life is so important. When you understand this, you understand what makes you different from everyone else and will pursue those things confidently in your own strength. In doing this, you are becoming the best you. Until then, you are looking to others for your definition of success.

When coaching people, one of the questions I receive the most is, “How do I set the right priorities and actually stick to them?” This question tells me that people know that there is a difference between the things that they say are their priorities, and what their priorities actually are. It also tells me that people want to change, but don’t know how. It also tells me that people aren’t able to put the time they want to into their priorities. As you can see, this question tells me a lot. Since so many people struggle with this issue, I decided to come up with a priority exercise. I have done this exercise myself, I walk other people through it on a regular basis, and it will work for you as well. All you need is a quiet space to think, and a way to capture some notes. Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Here is the ten-step exercise you need in order to give your true priorities more attention, right now: Write down your top four priorities as they are right now. Priorities are identified by where you spend most of your time. Even if your priorities aren’t currently where they need to be, the most important part of this step is to be completely honest with yourself. Write down 1 – 2 sentences, identifying who you really are in this moment. If you don’t know who you are now, then it will be very difficult to move towards who you want to become. Every map has a beginning point and a destination, and your life is no different. Progress can only be measured when we can pinpoint where we have come from. Identify who it is you want to become. Now, is the point where you get to dream. What do you want your priorities to be? Who do you want to be? Who do you want to impact? What change do you want to make on this world? These are all questions that you need to answer and capture into words. When we can eloquently speak and write down who it is we want to become, we can become more comfortable with the journey that will get us there. When we keep our dreams inside and never put words to them, it makes us feel uncomfortable with the necessary action to get us to our goals. It’s time to be comfortable with becoming a better you. Write down every single thing that is consistent in your weekly schedule as it is right now, and identify how much time you spend on these things. Now that you have your weekly activities in front of you, add up the time that you spend doing each of your priorities on a weekly basis, and write that amount of time by each priority. Identify what the people around you need the most right now, and what they will need from you in the future. We need to go deeper than just knowing who are your priorities, we need to detail out what you need to do to support your priorities in the best possible ways. This will enable you to develop a priority plan. An example of how this works is within the category of family. If you have small children, the things that they need now and what they will need eighteen years from now look entirely different. How you will love them and care for them will change based on their needs. The more you can identify these needs and prepare for them well, the better. This exercise helps you to see the needs of others before they happen, before they are asked for, and before anyone else sees them. With these points in mind, know that you can begin working in small steps preparing for the future. To do this, begin putting weekly action steps in your schedule now that will help get you to where you need to be in the future. Identify the things that bring the most value, and give these items more of your time. This principle works the same for money as it does time. When we treat time as currency, we will begin to see how important value is. Most people want the best value out of their dollar.

Learning to quit the right things in the right way is especially important for those who can never seem to find enough time for the things in life that they truly care about. This of course goes back to not identifying priorities, but also not being clear on what someone wants from life. There is only so much time in the day, and there is only so much that can be done. Learning to know our own limits, knowing how to make the most out of each and every day, and understanding what quitting can actually do for you is imperative for your success. Most people want to look at quitting from a negative view as “throwing in the towel”, but I am one of the few who doesn’t look at quitting as failure. When quitting is done correctly, it isn’t giving up – it’s making room for something better. So, in this necessary discovery of knowing what you need to quit, I want to help you in whatever stage of life you are in. Here are 8 signs it may be time to quit something, in order to make room for something better:  It may be time to quit if your mental and physical health is deteriorating.  As many times as I have started something new, I have also had to know when to quit. Anyone can start something, but quitting gracefully is a true art. If you quit too early, you will miss out on the full benefits of starting in the first place and embarking on the journey. But, if you quit too late, stress levels will soar, your mental and physical health will diminish, and burnout will ensue. I can promise that, because I have experienced this firsthand. If you don’t have any balance in your life, the health and relationship results will be the same. Some people would say that there is no such thing as work-life balance, but I’m calling bluff. You have to figure out what works for you, but I would challenge you to get to the spot in life where you are fitting your work around the most important people in your life, rather than the other way around. Society has tried to trick us for far too long that work is more important than relationships, but I’m not stupid. No work is worth making family, friends, or other relationships suffer. Nothing in this world is worth long-term diminishing health, because if you are unhealthy, you will have nothing to offer to others. It may be time to quit, so that you can bring balance back to your life. Take care of your health, and take care of others as well. It may be time to quit if you are experiencing constant frustration. Frustration isn’t a reason to quit, but if it’s daily, or even weekly frustration that you are experiencing, that’s usually a good sign that you may need to use your time for something that empowers you, rather than for something that discourages. It may be time to quit if dead ends keep showing up. When there’s no possible way that you can become better at something, it may be time to move on. Maybe you’ve tried studying more to become better, and the people around you aren’t making you better, and you honestly can’t remember the last thing you have learned, then it may be time to quit in order to become better. A clue that will tell you if you are currently in a dead end, is that the time you’ve been doing something is the only reason you keep doing it. When tenure is the sole reason keeping you dedicated, then it may be time to quit. When I have been working on something for months, it is difficult to quit. But, when something isn’t working, it is best to just move on. You will know if you’ve had ample time to find your definition of success. If you have given yourself enough time and you still can’t seem to find breakthrough, it may be time to move on. It may be time to quit if your plan isn’t working. If you have been following a plan, and it isn’t working, then make a different plan. Maybe the plan looks good on paper, and everyone in your inner circle agrees that it’s a gre...

You can begin increasing positivity in your own life by viewing yourself in the correct way. You are someone who matters and what you do with your life matters. Believe this and move forward. Once you view yourself in a positive light, positivity will flow out of you through your words and actions. Positivity isn’t just a state of mind, but it is a way of life that is to be lived out consistently. Stop Waiting For Positivity to Find You The biggest lie you will be faced with when dealing with pursuing a positive outlook on life is that you can’t have it now. This lie will tell you that you have to go find your positivity in some big success, and on the other side of that you will find happiness, but this is so far from the truth that it hurts. Happiness can be found now, not on the other side of success. It has to do with the way you see things in life right now and it is up to you to change how you view where you are currently at in life. Being Happy Part of true success is being happy while doing what you do. If you have to show up on a daily basis, you might as well be happy while doing it. If you can practice happiness now in the present, you will perform better and be more determined to find success. Happiness isn’t something that comes from success, because once you find what your preconceived idea of what success is, you will just think something else in the future will make you happier. With this type of mentality, there will never be anything good enough to satisfy your happiness craving. You can be happy now by living in a constant state of positivity. Happiness doesn’t come from outside circumstances, but instead it is comes from inside of you. Be positive about life now, because life is all around you. There are life moments happening that involve real people who need you right now. When you realize this, it will be easier to see the positivity that comes from making a difference in the lives of others. Seeing life for the positivity that is in it isn’t refusing to see the negative things happening around you, but a positive worldview can actually change your perception, and even your outcomes. With positivity, you can predetermine that when turbulence comes, you will see these life moments as lessons, rather than dead ends. It is your choice and outlook on life that determines what you do when life doesn’t go exactly as planned. If you want something to change, it has to begin with you. Take the permission to apply positivity to every area of your life and watch what this alone does in your life. A happy individual, family, and team at work is always more productive when positivity influences each area of life. Think about this – In relationships, does the negative trait of fear or the positive trait of love drive a better relationship? It is always the positive trait of love. Fear strikes down all communication, but love allows for more expressive communication to take place. You will always want to do more for the people who you love rather than the people you fear, and you will want to be with these same people as well. You can have that same effect on others when you possess positivity in your own life. Negativity Once you experience what positivity feels like, you will want to stay there. The issue is that people have become far too comfortable in living with negativity consuming them, but in all actuality, we should run away from it as fast as we can. So, how can we get past negativity? I believe the biggest proponent of negativity is not fully understanding the amount of power that it can and will have on our lives if we allow it to. The best way to know if you have been putting positivity or negativity into your life, is to look at your thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Doing this will help you move past negativity and will help you find more positivity in your life.