Summary: We are all unique and that is a beautiful thing. Some are more introverted, who like to keep to themselves in most instances, and lose energy from being around other people. Then there are extroverts, who are energized by being around other people and talking to them. Extroverts, of course, are more outspoken, and can tend to rule most conversations. For those of you who don’t quite fit into either of these two classic categories, then there are <a href="http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/12/ambivert-extrovert-introvert/">ambiverts</a> — people who exhibit qualities of both introversion and extroversion.<br> Some people will give introverts a hard time, because they don’t say enough. And some will give extroverts a hard time, because they say too much. Yes, depending on which category you fall into has a lot to do with how you handle yourself in conversation, but it has nothing to do with common sense and courtesy. And no matter which category you fall into, when people come to talk to you about something, it doesn’t mean they always want or need your opinion. Too often, people forget the power found in listening.<br> With becoming better communicators, it is important to not only focus on what we say, and how we say it, but we all need to become better listeners, too. Here are three ways to know if you are better at listening first or giving your opinion too soon:<br> <br> Is your first response to speak or to listen?<br> Knowing the answer to this question will tell you whether you lean towards giving your opinion first, or if your first response is to listen to the needs of others. An example of this in my own life was when I had a friend who came to me because he was having trouble in every area of life. He was going through a very rough season, and just needed someone to talk to. I was fortunate enough to see this as an opportunity to just listen, so I sat there on the phone for an hour and fifteen minutes listening to my friend on the other side of the phone spilling his guts out for me to listen to. You know what would have really messed this opportunity up? If I would have interjected at some point along the way. The conversation went where it was supposed to go. If I would have stopped him along the way, I would have been selfish in controlling the conversation and forcing it to go where I wanted it to go. If you don’t listen, what you say won’t make any sense to the other person.<br> But, you want to know what happened at the end of the conversation? He asked me what he should do. That’s right. I waited my turn. It didn’t take me forcing my opinion on him, but he asked for advice when he was ready to hear what I would have to say. Too often people interject their own needs into a conversation, without ever considering what the other person needs. Advice said at the wrong time falls on deaf ears, which doesn’t help anyone. In most cases, people will ask you for your opinion if they really want it. If they don’t ask for it, they will ask someone else, figure it out for themselves, or read advice in a book or online from a respected source.<br> I promise that you don’t have to have all the answers, nor should you put that sort of pressure on yourself. People need friends who will just be there for them, and just being this person for others is enough. Sometimes, the need for human interaction just needs another person to listen, and that’s okay.<br> Do people come to you for advice?<br> If someone has communicated that they are coming to you for advice, then by all means, give it. But, it is very different if someone is just coming to you to talk. This is where two-way communication and listening to see what other people need from you is important.<br> If people repeatedly come to you for advice, then it is probably a good sign that you are great at both giving advice and listening. You see, the two go hand in hand.
