Thought Cops

Dr. Joseph B. Peterman is a clinical memeologist and tenured professor of psychology at the University of Kekkistan. This is his third time appearing on the Slow Rogan Experience. All Dr. Peterman’s self-improvement writing programs at his online store here. Use coupon code: CHIMP- 0% off for Slow Rogan listeners. You can get all of Slow Rogan's kettlebells, hunting bows, and Chad Brain™ supplements at this link: http://gorrila.balls. Don't forget to leave a five star review for a free sample of Zyklon A from Fritz Haber. Outtro music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-cccZS7C5I

We're back. We got it right this time. We really almost couldn't get it together this week. The cousins return! Blake and Justin lend their wise minds to the show, to touch on things such as why good girls always fall for bad guys. Riley from Mighty Morphin Power Hour was in town visiting and joined us on mic as well! This week's all about the heroes in society. Not speaking metaphorically, of course. I'm talking about SUPER heroes! Spider-Man and Superman are both in the news this week. What happened to them?? Tune in and find out. We also talk about the Beatles jerking off together, Norm MacDonald's big new controversy, and Gymcels, so hold onto your gains. We got a bunch of voicemails this week as well: 312-788-7361. Join in on the fun! Leave one, and we'll play it on the show. You can also support us at Patreon for bonus content and more. Thanks, love you all.

Welcome to the swamp- it's Thought Cops, "Episode 82"! This week, we're joined by Deputy Niko! Niko came with us on our pilgrimage to Shrek Fest. So we talk about the disaster that was. You can also commission her to draw normal stuff, Shrek Rule 34 stuff, and more, here. How is this podcast still free? Oh wait, it's better than free if you donate to our Patreon. We talk about that stupid face Elon Musk makes when he smokes weed on Joe Rogen's podcast. You know the one. Fuck everything. We talk about Alex Jones and Marco Rubio. Fuck everything. A guy allegedly sets his house on fire while burning his Nike products. Fuck everything. Call into the show. The number is 312-788-7361. We'll play your voicemail on air. Remind us what it's like to feel pleasure in this world. Thanks for listening.

Wiggity-wiggity-welcome to Thought Cops! This week, we're joined by Andrea and Mackenzie of the Talk of Shame podcast! It's another wacky cartoon crossover, folks! Before we get into the serious bullshit, we have new merch from John Sammis! Stunning. Come get some over at our store to support us! We'd really, really appreciate you! Ahem. So... Louis CK's in the news, huh? Eh... Uh... Hey, Alex Jones, he's in the news, too? Eh... Uh... Ahem. Don't you hate it when people post concerts to their instagram and snapchat stories? Right?! Like, who has the time for that?! Unbelievable!! The nerve of some people. Thanks for continuing to listen to the show. It gives us life. And laugh, and love. Haha. Hey, don't forget to leave us a voicemail to play on the show at 312-788-7361! It's fun! You know what's even more fun? If you support us on Patreon for just $5 a month, you can join our discord server. If the last couple episodes have proven anything- it's worth it. "Peace be with you" -Spike, Cowboy Bebop (1998)

This, is "Episode 80". And these, are our stories. This week, our bitter rival Allan Foster of the podcast Not For Human Consumption  joins us, as does returning friend of the show Deputy Josh! Speaking of the show: we have shirts and hoodies available for sale now! Wow. Incredible. You can get one of these yourself over at our store! Tell your friends about the show without telling them anything at all: say it with a shirt! All profits go towards funding the show. So, if you like Thought Cops, and you like Inkuusan's masterful artwork: go get one now! Ahem. Onto the business at hand. We really get into a lot this week, in the short span of a single episode. Unironic use of the word "soy"? Fuck you! Facebook friend requests followed by "hey check out my band"? Go to hell! Accidental unfollow/re-follows on twitter? We're so sorry Mike. The "millenial massacre-ist" has struck again. This week's victim? Hooters. Hooters was last seen in critical condition, witnesses say she should pull through, should millenials return to spend money on re-heated frozen food at their establishment. All that and a LOT more on this thrilling 80th installment of the internet outrage mob's number one podcast! Thanks to all who continue to donate on Patreon- we've surpassed $50 a month! How cool that we make anything doing this show. Our $5 tier has received a significant upgrade as well: for just $5 a month, you not only get access to all episodes of our spin-off show Fire Bros, but you also get to be a part of the conversation live every single week on discord! Once you donate, you'll be invited to join our discord server, and if this episode is any indication, it really adds to the show's madness. Don't forget to leave us your voicemails, too! 312-788-7361. We play a bunch of those, too. Whew. Thanks for everything, y'all.

Welcome to episode 79 of Thought Cops! This week, we're joined by Antoids, the Reverse Audio Engineer of the Biggest Problem in the Universe Uncucked Episodes. He also has a YouTube channel, Digital Roots, and a brand new podcast called Branching Out. He's also got a Patreon. If you've been following our battle against Not For Human Consumption to get onto the See You Next Tuesday Podcasting Network, we've won! And so did they! When we recorded the episode we didn't know that yet, so make sure to listen to get the full scoop. This week, we point our long dick of the law at shitty swype keyboards, people who use the phrase "self-own," and Twitter nuking millions of bots and ruining your follower count. We also talk about all the things millenials have killed, the death of Emuparadise, the new Batwoman takes her Twitter down, and an update on the war against New York and Chicago pizza. We might've talked about professional gamer Ninja not wanting to stream with women, but I don't remember, and honestly, who the fuck cares. Don't forget to follow us on Patreon, and also check out our new merch store on Teespring! We have a set of mugs out right now, keep an eye out for other stuff we start selling. We also started a Twitch Channel! Smash that subscribe button and keep an eye out for when we start streaming! We also just hit 15,000 downloads. Thanks everybody for listening!

Welcome to Thought Cops- where if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. Wow, that rhymes, awesome. It's "Episode 78", and we are joined by the one and only Justin Whang! Justin's YouTube channel just surpassed 150,000 subscribers. If you are a fan of the work we do here on Thought Cops, there is a pretty good chance that you'll enjoy Justin's work as well. https://youtu.be/F5tj2eWRuDw So, let's get right to it. Alex Jones got banned from multiple platforms this week. If you didn't spend your week reading Reply Guys arguing back and forth over the subject, I don't know what to tell you, you probably lead a happy, healthy life. ALSO: if you get the chance, please CLICK THIS LINK RIGHT HERE and vote YES on both polls on the page. It should look like this: We're trying to best Not For Human Consumption to get our show onto the See You Next Tuesday podcasting network. This is the contest, ignore the rest on the page, just vote YES!!! Speaking of that, never forget to value the life you have. You never know when it could be unexpectedly snuffed out, like Luigi. Our poor, well-hung friend. Rest in peace, buddy. He never got to live to the ripe, old, age of- oh yeah, apparently they added "old" to LGBT now. Like it or not, live long enough and you'll be in the LGBTO club. You heard it here first, folks. We play a whole bunch of listener voicemails this week. It's really fun, you should give us a call sometime: 312-788-7361. And consider supporting us on Patreon as we just dropped another episode of our internationally-acclaimed spin-off podcast Fire Bros!

Strap in, we're back. It's Thought Cops, "Episode 77", we're calling this one. This week, we are joined by the wonderful Sriracha! She produces plenty of works online, including, but not limited to: Porg Chatter, Waifu Wars, and Asterios Kills A Kid. She also just got back from Brony Con, and has some stories to spill. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMFZOcAvCKs We face all sorts of unrest this week, including Jordan Peterson's famous Peterson family diet: salt and meat. Keeps you virile, they're saying. We learn a lot about Big Foot porn, and Grant regales us with a touching musical tribute to the latest trailer for Venom. Thanks again for your listener voicemails! It keeps the show lively, truly. Join the show yourself by leaving us a voicemail at 312-788-7361. Tell us who you'd like US to arrest. Or, just tell us whatever's on your mind, apparently. We're here for you. Please also consider supporting us on Patreon. It keeps the show growing, and you also get bonus content from us to boot. We like making stuff, so keep throwing money at us if you want! We're not gonna stop you.

Hey everyone, it's finally time for episode 76 of Thought Cops! Our good friend Brett of Big Time Garbage came to visit us from Neo-Detroit. We meet for the first time IRL and it was 100% normal and fun. He even tried Malört and said he really liked it. I hope you have your straws ready, because this episode is juicy. We talk about irony haters, ice cream havers, and I I I don't even know where else to BEGIN there's just so much on this episode! For as much shit as we talk on teaser trailers- you're NOT gonna wanna miss this one. #HarmonBlock2018 As always thank you for your listener voicemails! Become a part of the show yourself at 312-788-7361. Please consider supporting us on Patreon as well. Thank you so much.

Come one, come all (nice), to the show that never ends: Thought Cops, "Episode 75". This week, boyfriend of the show Gumshoe Robbie joins us yet again to impart upon us his trademark wisdom. Make sure to check out his band The Dirty Nines. They rule. Guess what? Yep, you guessed it. We get into it again this week. We get into all sorts of trouble: Star Wars prequel apologists. Unreliable sources of information. Is that pizza I smell? Well, Papa has left the damn building. Apparently you can brainwash people by having them watch others eating chicken wings. We really learned a lot today. I hope you will enjoy learning with us. Remember, you can always leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361. Make sure it isn't offensive though, or you could lose your job in 20 years at the Walmart space coal mines. Don't forget to help support us on Patreon.

Welcome to another entry in the Thought Cops podcast canon: "Episode 74". This week we are joined by "Steve" AKA @extranapkins. He runs his own podcast Good Smell Flannel. You can check out his screen prints, comics, and more at brokenpants.com and Steve's Cards.   The train keeps on rollin' this week. We discuss Facebook's take on the declaration of independence, Ron Paul's take on cartoons, and a take so hot, you might not handle it: Nanette could be good?? Even though as John Mulaney might say that Mick Jagger might say, it's: "NOT FUNNAY!" As always, thanks to all the Thought Cops stans out there who have been patient with us this week as we had a gap week. Please continue to leave us constructive voicemails at 312-788-7361. And for additional content, please support us on Patreon.

Hope you brought your appetite, because it's an all-you-care-to-eat buffet here on Thought Cops, "Episode 73"! The Shrimp Boys (Luke, David, and Wyatt) join us in-studio for an episode so tasty, you'll be coming back for seconds. And maybe thirds, but keep in mind it's an all-you-care-to-eat buffet, and not an all-you-CAN-eat buffet. First of all, major shout-out to the artist who designed our new album art: Inkuusan. You can check out his upcoming game on Kickstarter: Blue Omen Operation. We are also now available on Spotify! That's right, all these options to listen and you wanna play ME? Nah, that ain't happening. You better go right head and follow us on Instagram while you're at it, too. This week, we really get into the thicc of it. David Lynch can't remember who he voted for, cryptic vagueposting, grammar correcting, and of course, the rise and fall of a dog-rating twitter account. 2018 is only halfway over, folks. But our big dick energy isn't going anywhere. Thanks to everyone who left us voicemails for our birthdays. You can be a part of the show, too, if you leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361. You can find the Shrimp Boys every month at Helltrap Nightmare right here in Neo-Chicago, and you can support us on Patreon for additional content.

Rack em! It's Thought Cops: "Episode 72". This week, we got Allan Foster from Not For Human Consumption! We really care about podcasting, do u? This week, we ask the hard hitting question: can a cartoon be TOO sexy? If you sheepishly said "no", you're a sex pervert. But hey, that's just movie magic at work. Speaking of movie magic, Hollywood made the new Jurassic Park movie less gay. Dinosaurs and gayness go together like chocolate, and... peanut butter, if I had to think of something that pairs just as well with chocolate. So, what gives? This week, we also released "Episode 3" of our patreon-exclusive bonus podcast Fire Bros! For just $2 a month, you can find out which select pieces of media get added to the "Library of Regress", or get burnt for the sake of public safety. Is it okay to like the "Emoji Movie"? What can be learned from "The Problem With Apu"? You'll have to listen to find out! And hey, leave us a review on iTunes. It really does help us get exposure. And how else will we spread "the good word" without your help? And finally: don't forget to join in as part of the show by leaving us a voicemail at 312-788-7361.

Quick, come inside, you're just in time for Thought Cops, "Episode 71"! This week we're joined by Tab, also known as Madcucks. Tab is the co-host of the podcast Here's What I Don't Get, and is our second guest to survive the infamous Lolsuit. This week, we get into all sorts of trouble. Daddy-daughter dances, Albert Einstein's theory of racism, and lots of E3 drama! Has Waluigi become the new Pickle Rick? You'll have to listen to find out! Grant, cue the "Thought Cops Gaming Corner" theme, please. Speaking of games, it's a bad week to be a nerd. Chris Hardwick proves once again that maybe epic bacon... isn't so epic after all. Points! And hey, stick around after the episode for AMC's recap show "Talking Cops". As always, don't forget to leave us a 5-star review on iTunes and we'll read it at the end of the episode. Too lazy to do even that much? Leave us a voicemail at 312-788-7361 and we'll play it on the show. If this episode was any indication, it doesn't need to be even remotely sober. Or coherent. Doesn't even have to be in English if you don't want. Thanks again, and don't forget to subscribe to us on Patreon for even more content and goodies. Be on the lookout for Episode 3 of our Bonus Episode, out in a few days!

Welcome to Episode 70 of thoughtcops.butts! This week, we're joined by Jake and Ron of Big Sword Panel, who help us ring in 10,000 DOWNLOADS of Thought Cops with a freshly opened bottle of Jeppson's Malort. Jeppson's Malort: now when people tell you to pick your poison, you can! We have a good amount of voicemails to go through this episode, plus we try and clear the air on the Asterios vomit audio from last episode and the mess that I created when I told him to put it on patreon.com/asterios and sell it. This week, we talk about IHOP turning into... IHOb??? Plus the Miss America pageant cancels the swimsuit competition, much to the dismay of all the 80 year old men that get off watching it. Put it back in your pants, grandpa. Speaking of putting things in their rightful places, Google puts the egg in their salad emoji back in its rightful place: up their own asses. We also tackle the "okay, for everyone who didn't get the joke" responses to tweets, the “unpopular opinion” popular opinion trend of taking a popular opinion and saying that it’s unpopular in an attempt to make the world’s coldest hot take, and Bernie Sanders fights Alex Jones in the ultimate shinobi showdown at the Valley of the End. All this and more on Episode 70 of Thought Cops. Don't forget to leave us a five star review on iTunes, we've run out of them to read at the end of the episode. So get your voice heard! We've also submitted our show to Spotify, so hopefully in a number of weeks you'll be able to listen to it on there.