HealingLives with Corey Gilbert

Episode 48 - I Have a Plan (Parents - we must have a plan) http://www.icantsaythat.com    Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.  

Episode 47 - My Daughter Mylie (age9) & I - "The Big Lie"  A Conversation with my daughter Mylie (age 9) about "The Big Lie' from Gresh's book Lies Girls Believe.    Link to book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ITaePV   

Episode 46 - Building Your Personal Ethos (mom and dad) http://www.icantsaythat.com  Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.    

Episode 45 - Conversation with Alex (age 13) on Chapter 3 Conversation with my 13 year old son Alex about Chapter 3 of Preston Sprinkle's book "Living in a Gray World" Amazon link:   https://amzn.to/3GSjKQy     www.drcoreygilbert.com/books   

Episode 44 - Trauma & Your Child (and You) excerpt from "I Can't Say That!" by Dr Corey Gilbert http://www.icantsaythat.com  Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.  

Link to Preston Sprinkle's book under discussion here: https://amzn.to/3GSjKQy     Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:   www.drcoreygilbert.com/books    

Episode 42 - The "M" Word  An excerpt from my new book "I Can't Say That!"   www.icantsaythat.com  Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.     Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:    www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Episode 41 - Conversation with Alex (age 13) on Preston Sprinkle's book "Living in a Gray World" - Chapter 1  Link to Preston's Book: link to Amazon book: https://amzn.to/3GSjKQy    Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:   www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Episode 40 - Dating Excerpt from my book "I Can't Say That!" www.icantsaythat.com   Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.       Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:   www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Episode 39 Conversation #6 with Mylie - Framed Letter     Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:   www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Episode 38 - Managing Hurts, Failures & Disappointments  Excerpt from my book "I Can't Say That!" - www.icantsaythat.com  Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.       Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:    www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Episode 37 - Conversation #2 with Blaize    Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:    www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.     Boundaries And Choices A critical dimension of our sexuality and sexual development are boundaries and choices. If those aren’t well established, we are at the mercy of our feelings, desires, and peer pressure. To live within boundaries requires us to step back, recognize the difference that results from living within these, and thankful for their protection. Ironically, it is these boundaries that give us freedom.   When I graduated from seminary and began my life as a Licensed Professional Counselor. I was a single twenty-five-year-old male in a female dominated field. Ninety-nine percent of my clients were women and most of my friends were female. I was terrified. I had an ETHOS drilled into me from my family and my training regarding the importance of boundaries. I also knew of a few cases where one accusation of wrongdoing had sunk a person’s reputation and career. I set up incredibly strict boundaries. These were for my freedom. Within these boundaries, I had less to worry about. Later, I was working at a college and was told I needed to loosen my boundaries if I was going to work with college students. I was surprised. I was also quite confused by the suggestion and wondered if I should loosen up. I quickly realized though that I had more freedom by using these boundaries and I added more — like never eating alone with a woman who was not my wife.   Boundaries are entrenched into your ETHOS at an early age as we learn from our families and absorb their energy and culture. As we begin to play that out in our lives, we free ourselves, adopting some of the constraints put on us by our families and dispensing with others. We — and our children — have the freedom to choose. Our culture speaks out of both sides of its mouth. On one hand we are told to be free and choose for ourselves whatever we want. But, on the other hand, if someone chooses to act with reservation, wisdom or within a biblical sexual ethic, they are ridiculed as if they made the “wrong” choice. Find freedom in boundaries, your choices, and in saying, “NO.”   How To Say “No” Learning to say, “NO,” is a crucial skill. We are always saying, “NO.” In effect, every time we say, “Yes,” to something — we are, in turn, saying, “NO,” to something else.   Teach your children to say, “NO.”   Teach them to have the vocal and internal ability to stand up for themselves and have boundaries. Most of us are familiar with the concept of fight or flight. If we get into a sticky situation, we have a release of adrenaline and we are, in a sense, forced to expend that energy by fighting, or fleeing. However, there is another response — freezing — that has serious consequences since the energy built up by adrenaline and angst rarely gets resolved.   When men and women that have been abused or violated tell their story, they usually regret not having spoken up, fought, or run away. Instead, they froze. However, despite — or maybe because of — freezing, they survived. They made it through. Now many remain stuck because the energy that was built up needs a place to go. It needs to be released. From this experience, they quickly learned to remain small and silent. Their ability to say, “NO,” diminishes.   Example  Lisaand Bretthave invested in their children with a vision for their children’s future success. They started young, teaching and training their children in a biblical sexual ethic. As they went into each year of life with their children they also knew that part of the bargain was trusting God in the raising of their children. Hope in things unseen. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Your faith must be in God and His work in the lives of you and your children.   Hope breeds a peace that passes all understanding. Hope expects great things as well.   Hope for the best things for each of your children.   I wa

Episode 35 - Converastion #5 with Mylie - Lies & Truths     Order my new International Best Selling book by clicking here:   www.drcoreygilbert.com/books 

Gilbert, C. (2019). I can't say that: Going beyond the talk: Equipping your children to make choices about gender and sexuality from a biblical sexual ethic.     Raising Sexually Healthy Children I am hoping that at this point your heart, passion, and desire is to lead your family with confidence and intentionality toward a biblical sexual ethic. There are many other aspects of our lives that matter as well, but they are beyond the scope of this book. Raising sexually healthy children requires commitment to a specific ETHOS.It then requires that we, as parents, learn how to pass that on in bite sized micro-conversationsas our children grow and receive information from the world around them.   A key piece of the puzzle — for you and for your children — will be found in how you manage hurts, failures, and disappointments. Too many parents and their children are trapped in shame loops that are generational.   Break the cycle. Find freedom. Find joy. Then, once you have found it, pass it on.   Imagine looking at your grown children and seeing that they have made thoughtful, informed decisions that they can defend rather than emotional and impulsive ones. Imagine being proud of the young man or woman they have become. Imagine a sense of gratitude for the adults God entrusted to you who have made the decision to be godly change agents in the world.     It Starts With You — The Parent Jaredand Kendraknew that they both had rough lives growing up and they wanted something different for their children. With the birth of their first son, they began teaching him about his body, about sexuality, dating, and marriage. They continued this with each of their children as five more siblings were added to the family. They invited hard (and weird!) questions from their children and answered them the best they could. As a result of their honesty about their own failings, their stories of childhood abuse, and the role God played in their story, their six children avoided much of the pain and heartache that many unnecessarily face today. Their children did not all arrive at adulthood without drama or failures, but none of them had the excuse of ignorance or naiveté. As each of them walked through their adolescent years, they encountered struggles with pornography and dating when they were too young due to peer pressure. They knew though, without any doubt, what their parents believed, what their parents’ expectations were for them, and that they were responsible for their own actions before God.   All six of Jared and Kendra’s children eventually married and they were joyous occasions. All six of them remain faithful in their pursuit of God in their adult lives, passing the same down to their own children. Even though they didn’t have one hundred percent success in all of their choices, they each knew their parents loved them. They knew that God loved them enough to die for them. And they knew that they could choose. Through the knowledge given to them by their parents, they were better positioned to make their choices. They could clearly see the destination each choice could potentially lead to and they could “choose” with wisdom. What a beautiful picture.   Do you want that?   This begins with your one-year-old, your two-year-old, your three-year-old, and so on.Start today, if you have not already. Begin by intentionally helping each of your children craft their own biblical sexual ethic — their ETHOS.   Use short, meaningful conversations —micro-conversations — to plant seeds, and as you intentionally water them you will see them grow before your eyes.     Helping Your Children Develop Their ETHOS   So how do we pull all of this together for our children?   Jeffis a seventeen-year-old young man who has been trained to live by a biblical sexual ethic. His parents prepared him well. He is respectful of authority. He honors women and avoids areas of temptation. He has struggled with pornography, but has chosen to die to those desires an