Monster in My Podcast

This is the least excited I've ever been when I heard the word "brownie".Links: Brownie - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — The brownie is a distant relative of the halfling that dwells in quiet, pastoral areas.

How did they make Teleporter Mistakes boring?Links: PlanetADnD, Dungeons and Dragons — Broken ones (or animal men) are the tragic survivors of scientific and magical experiments gone awry. While they were once human, their beings have become mingled with those of animals and their very nature has been forever altered by the shock of this event.

Psionics are so terrible that a lowly rodent of the ground can use them as snacks.Links: Brain mole - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — The brain mole is a small mole-like mammal that can psionically "burrow" into another creature's mind.

You're loving this, aren't you Kole?

When you're trying to choose between "dragon" and "snake" and the coin you flip lands on its edge.Links: Behir - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A behir is a huge blue serpentine magical beast with a crocodilian head; the creature is around forty feet long and weighs around four thousand pounds.

All good things must come to an end. At least until next year.

The many-eyed cavity creep gives way to beholders that don't really need to be beholders.

BeholderFest 2016 will never end! Meet the many-ribbed Death Tyrant and many more of his bizarre friends.Links: Death tyrant - Forgotten Realms Wiki - Wikia — Death tyrants were an undead form of beholder, similar to zombies, that retained some innate magical abilities.

BeholderFest continues as we settle in and dedicate a whole episode to our friend (and yours), the helpful Spectator.Links: Spectator (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — A spectator is an extraplanar relative of the beholder with four eyestalks. Somewhat mild and even-tempered, spectators have even been known to form friendships with other creatures, a trait that no other beholderkin or true beholder ever displays.

Pucker up, because it's time to talk about the Death Kiss, the Eye of the Deep, and the Gauth. The magic is gone!Links: Beholder-kin, Death Kiss (Monstrous Manual) — The Death Kiss, or “bleeder”, is fearsome predator found in caverns or ruins. Eye of the Deep - Pathfinder_OGC — This creature is a 5-foot wide orb dominated by a central eye and large serrated mouth. Hundreds of small seaweed-like bristles hang from the bottom of its body. Two large crab-like pincers protrude from its body, and two long, thin eyestalks sprout from the top of its orb. Gauth (3.5e Monster) - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki — Around two and a half feet in diameter, the spherical creature floating towards you with a single massive central eye while a pair of eyestalks swivel every which way. You know you should shoot at it, but something about the eye--a menace the likes of which you have never felt before--causes you to falter, standing still and compliant as it levels an eyestalk at you, brimming with magical energy and promising a quick death.

Feast your eyes on the first part of BeholderFest 2016, where we give you the skinny on our favorite Eye Tyrants.Links: Beholder (Dungeons & Dragons) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia — Its appearance is that of a floating orb of flesh with a large mouth, single central eye, and many smaller eyestalks on top with deadly magical powers.

Please search Kickstarter for our patent-pending beetle sleeping bags. You know, to hide the horror.Links: Beetle (4e Creature) - D&D Wiki — Some species of beetles are innocuous and even beneficial, feeding off of carrion and refuse that would otherwise pile up around large cities, but others, particularly amongst the monstrous varieties, can be a dangerous hazard for even experienced adventurers.

Mr. Burns's Hierarchy of Bears.Links: Category:Bear - Dungeons and Dragons Wiki - Wikia — Bears are "ursine" creatures, distantly related to dogs and canines, but larger and more muscular.

Dead head frisbees and laundering human meat.Links: SRD:Bat - D&D Wiki — Bats are nocturnal flying mammals.

The shocking origin story of the Dracolisk: Prodigious production, combined with clumsiness on slippery surfaces.Links: Basilisk » Dungeons & Dragons - D&D 5 — A basilisk is a multilegged, reptilian horror whose deadly gaze transforms victims into porous stone.