FBi's Fire Up!

Will Hopoate can bypass his 2 year Mormon mission after 10 days with Birdy; the "Indestructible Animal" Paul Gallen continues League's love affair with philosophy; Daily Telegraph writer Paul Crawley enters the celebrated pantheon of League journos; Greg Inglis is a Rolls Royce... a fat, lazy Rolls Royce; and the Roosters have a little Bro-mance. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy patented Fire Up! merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

AFL is harder than League? Fuck off! You're on drugs. The new Paul Gallen toy from Mattel is released. Brett Morris invokes Nietzsche. Braith Anasta's love of correct polo shirt wearing. Sticky's Origin Boulevarde. Twitterstorms get Gallop sounding political. And our special guest 8 Ball Aitken straight out of the swamps of the deep north to enlighten us about hallucinogenic cane toads and all things a little bit country (and a little bit rock and roll). Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy patented Fire Up! merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

This week we: rake through the coals of another Origin defeat; analyse the surprising stats of Jamie Soward; conduct another special Fire Up! investigation into "Third Man In Thaiday"; discuss Freddy Fittler's expose on the real reasons League players drink too much; devise a "Knob Rating System" (Corey Parker is A-Grade); and ruminate on the unique ecological circumstances surrounding the Hopoate's family tree. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy patented Fire Up! merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Ricky Stuart is inspired by The Proclaimers, stating "I will have 500 staff, and I would have 500 more"; there's no Blue love for Con Ange; we reveal the devastating medical consequences of going to a Rugby Union match; Andrew Johns enters the digital age; Jarryd Hayne chills at church; Will Hopoate pledges to do his Mormon mission, but we don't know if he's going to get a little bit country or a little bit rock and roll; Beau Champion to star in a new Raymond Chandler-based film noire masterpiece; Todd Payten turns to breakthrough greyhound surgery to prolong his career. If you like what you're hearing come to Fire Up Live and watch Origin 1 on the big screen with Stephen & Brett. Tickets at www.fbiradio.com or more details at www.facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague

Come on down to Fire Up Live - our fundraiser for FBi. It's on Wed the 25th of May at FBi Social in Kings Cross. There'll be entertainment galore and State of Origin on the big screen. Tickets just $10+bf from Oztix or fbiradio.com

Have you ever wanted to know: the true story of Brett Stewart's slap in the face of Stephen's ancestry; which rugby league player needs to "grow inside his own head"; who the new Minister of Rugby League is; how Woolies' pain is Parra's gain; and what Canberra really value in a coach? Well buckle up, because all that and more is jammed into today's episode. Now with more Vossy! Also, apparently Ricky Stuart's a passionate guy. Who knew? If you like what you're hearing come to Fire Up Live and watch Origin 1 on the big screen with Stephen & Brett. Details at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague ... and if you dare encourage us further, there's a fabulous range of merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Wayne Bennett's continues to destroy every other club in the NRL by getting Parramatta boss Paul Osborne (aka Alan Bond) pay 550k a year for Chris Sandow. Russell Crowe is bitter, but not a hypocrite. We again espouse the need for a proper ANZAC Test, and dissect Ricky Stuart's ingenious plan to use Germanic soccer principles to win one Origin game this year. Plus, yet another reason you should never visit Canberra. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Brett and Stephen rail against oppression and censorship; we celebrate Hopoate's legacy with Jeremy Smith almost going the finger up the date on Kalifa Faifai Loa; the free thinking of Matthew Elliott is cut short by Penrith; Corey Payne is the new Donald Trump (will he now claim Julia Gillard wasn't actually born in Australia?); we uncover more Wayne Bennett sleeper agents in Chris Sandow and Paul Gallen; Luke Douglas' ex-girlfriend "parades" around the Shire; Gallen goes from grub to Saint. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Todd Carney plays with Brett's heart by hitting the drink again, but a special Fire Up investigation reveals who's really to blame. We analyse Michael Ennis' latest bid to become a Grub Immortal, the real reason the Roosters are wearing camouflage jerseys on ANZAC Day and Greg Inglis' answer to the Atkins Diet: "white bread and Coke". We're joined by the very special guests Ramirez the Mexican Rock God, his translator Denis Carnahan and back up singers the Melodious Mexican Maidens Consuela and Conchita. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Not for the first time in his life, Russell Crowe rues his decision to wear sandals. The nicest woman in the world earns herself a chapter in the Book of Feuds. Buzz Rothfield's new definition of the word "secret" continues to spread. Jamal Idris is lured to the Gold Coast to pursue his dream of becoming the first Afrodiginal Wiggle. The true story behind the Titans' Centre of Excellence (and we're not talking about Idris). Greg Bird claims his latest off-field incident has been "blown out of proportion" - and we haven't even started yet! Lara Bingle to go the Growl(ers). Matt Keating bitten by dog; not a new thing in rugby league. And Ricky Stuart redefines the world standard for what "aint bad". Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Magistrate Jacqueline Milledge may not have been able to incarcerate Todd Carney, but she has managed to detain Stephen & Brett for a week. In lieu of a fresh 45 minutes of the same jokes, you can hear how the boys presented those same jokes 4 years ago with a podcast from our archives. And with the Autumn racing carnival upon us, it seemed timely to revisit one of the many memorable days a rugby league player has enjoyed at the races. We'll be back next week with all the stupidity no one else thought worthy to print. In the meantime, don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Newcastle officially changes it's motto; Jamal Idris becomes an Octo-threat; Fetuli Talanoa is living proof "Deportation to Australia" is still a viable punishment for criminals; Chris Sandow struggles with addiction; and Ryan Tandy fails to double down on his rent. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

Featuring Josh Dugan's leech blood, The Fox Sports commentary team's exploration of the geopolitical world through WikiLeaks, Inglis' fear of Crowe (apparently he also fears running, getting involved in the game and weighing less than his Western Suburbs size house-to-be). Plus we reveal the hitherto unknown link between Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and rugby league. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

At Fire Up, we keep our secrets. So much so, that we even kept the secret of guest Brendan Cowell coming on the show secret even from ourselves until 30 seconds before showtime, unlike Buzz Rothfield who's redefined the word "secret" in the Oxford dictionary. Also today: Greg Inglis is still fat, Chris Sandow suffers from "premature celebration", we discover the amazing Elite Mind Sports Training System of Mark Edmondson, the proposed bucks party of Prince William, the real reason for Frank Pritchard's "Wolverine Diet" and the forgotten language of "Goulburn English". Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop

The NRL is a code in crisis. Are there any clubs not in crisis? And we discover the special "Code in Crisis" alert system at the Daily Telegraph. Detective Snoop Dogg investigates the use of gang symbols (such as love hearts) in team photos. All the off-season news including Benji's punch, Todd Carney's early morning business meeting, Mitchell Pearce's butt-building workout regime to get a Joey Johns style bucket arse and Greg Inglis starts eating everyone in League. We come up with a solution to help the NRL in their time of crisis. Ricky Stuart thinks about going to University. A proposition is put forward that the NRL take the "Our House" theme one step further and set up a huge house for all the players and make a reality TV show out of it a la carte Big Brother. Featuring the John Elias Shame File. Don't forget to continue the farce at facebook.com/fireuprugbyleague or if you dare encourage us, buy merchandise at cafepress.com.au/FireUpShop