Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast

Raising articulate, communicative children begins from day one. Developing baby communication skills and setting good boundaries can result in a less-frustrated, happier baby. We talked with Etel Leit, a baby communications specialist, about teaching our babies language from day one, saying “no” and the types of no, toy recommendations and much more. If you have a toddler in the house, you may have found yourself once or twice in a trance of saying ‘no’ to them. But ‘baby whisperer’ Etel Leit says that the secret of reducing the feelings that we are our kids’ cops, is  simply creating a 'yes' environment to begin with. “If there is something that they go and play with and you don't want them to touch--just take this thing out instead of saying 'no! No! No!" Etel says. She adds: "I'm a curious person and I believe we should raise curious kids, so if you provide them with something that attracts their curiosity don't be surprised when they go and play with it." As a baby sign language expert who also runs an online course for parents who want to learn communicating with their babies, Etel recommends teaching your baby three types of signs, “The three 'F' signs,” she calls it. “Parents remember that.” The first one is Functional. For example Milk, or Daddy or any type of food. Etel Signing 'Milk' The second F is Fun. Like a pet or a toy in your home – though not necessarily at home. And the last one is Feeling. Because we want to expose our kids to feelings at a young age. Usually words like Happy or Frustrated or Curious. Etel Signing 'Happy' One sign that parents tend to teach their kids and Etel strongly recommends to avoid, is “More.” "No more more!” She says. “Parents are excited because the child is signing something but what do I want more of? And more can easily become a cry and pointing. We want to teach our kids to be articulate. And these kids grow up to be very specific, articulated and communicative because from a young age they know to tell you exactly what they want." Guest Co-Host: Braden Sanford Braden is a blogger and a stay-at-home Dad raising 4 kids under 3… including triplets and identical girls (aka a valiant attempt to retain my sanity…). Braden blogs at doingitdaddystyle.com Our Guest: Etel Leit Etel Leit, MS, is a transformational empowerment leader and a consultant for communicating with babies. In addition to being the Founder and Owner of SignShine®, a communication center for individuals and families, Etel is a communication advocate, motivational speaker, parenting consultant, and a repudiated author. Etel a widely sought-out speaker at many conferences, workshops, and events across the world. Etel draws from her extensive background in education and writing curricula, as well as her research on sign language and parenting. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest Host: Braden SanfordGuest:

This Valentine’s Day we did the most romantic Daddy Squared episode we could come up with. With no guest in the studio, Alex and Yan reflect on love, marriage  - yeah, and even the baby carriage. We talk coming out, how we met (and almost broke up over sexting), why we stayed together, and some terrible times we went through in our relationship. This is our story. We’d love to hear yours. If you’ve been listening to our podcast for the past 3 seasons (and we sure hope you have), you know we’re certainly not afraid to talk about ourselves. Warning: In this episode, that’s pretty much ALL we do! In this half-an-hour special for Valentine’s Day we give you our back story: How we came out, how we met, our wedding, the hard times in our relationship and how we brought it back on track with couples therapy. We talk personal development and how having kids contributed to our personal growth – and contributes to our lunacy. We doubt there’s anything all that unusual or crazy about our relationship (except for Yan’s unbearable taste in music), but maybe that’s sort of the point: We hope knowing us better will make the rest of season 3 and beyond feel a little… closer. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenOpening Song: Deliver Me - The Beloved (Alex and Yan's Walk-Down-The-Aisle song)Daddy Squared Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:Using a Friend for Surrogacy or Egg Donation (Daddy Squared, Season 3 Episode 6)Kylie Minogue - Confide In Me (Yan's coming out song)Imperfect Thing Called Love (Yan's book on first year in therapy after breaking up)Listen to previous seasons of Daddy SquaredJoin our Facebook groupConnect with us on Instagram

This Valentine’s Day we did the most romantic Daddy Squared episode we could come up with. With no guest in the studio, Alex and Yan reflect on love, marriage  - yeah, and even the baby carriage. We talk coming out, how we met (and almost broke up over sexting), why we stayed together, and some terrible times we went through in our relationship. This is our story. We’d love to hear yours. If you’ve been listening to our podcast for the past 3 seasons (and we sure hope you have), you know we’re certainly not afraid to talk about ourselves. Warning: In this episode, that’s pretty much ALL we do! In this half-an-hour special for Valentine’s Day we give you our back story: How we came out, how we met, our wedding, the hard times in our relationship and how we brought it back on track with couples therapy. We talk personal development and how having kids contributed to our personal growth – and contributes to our lunacy. We doubt there’s anything all that unusual or crazy about our relationship (except for Yan’s unbearable taste in music), but maybe that’s sort of the point: We hope knowing us better will make the rest of season 3 and beyond feel a little… closer. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenOpening Song: Deliver Me - The Beloved (Alex and Yan's Walk-Down-The-Aisle song)Daddy Squared Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:Using a Friend for Surrogacy or Egg Donation (Daddy Squared, Season 3 Episode 6)Kylie Minogue - Confide In Me (Yan's coming out song)Imperfect Thing Called Love (Yan's book on first year in therapy after breaking up)Listen to previous seasons of Daddy SquaredJoin our Facebook groupConnect with us on Instagram

This is dedicated to all of you #futuredads out there. There is so much information on surrogacy for gay men and having biological babies, that it can sometimes be overwhelming. In this episode we help gay couple Stephen and Spencer, with their baby steps in their research on having kids. We interviewed Dr. John Hesla from ORM Fertility, who answered the couples’ questions, including the pros and cons of having a surrogate and/or an egg donor who is a friend. There’s fascination especially from women and girlfriends of gay men, around gays becoming dads. Have you ever had a girlfriend coming to you, like, ‘Oh my God! I want to have your kid!’? Well, maybe it’s worth it to take them to dinner and figure out how serious they are about it, because it sure saves you tens of thousands of dollars in the process of building your family. “If you go with someone you know, most of the time the expectation is that that person will have a role in the child’s life, and probably the child will periodically see her,” Dr. Hesla told Stephen and Spencer on our podcast. “If a friend or a family member agrees to donate eggs for you, she may not be optimal in terms of her egg quality or in terms of her family medical background. So if the woman, the donor, is someone the couples knows, she would have to undergo a thorough screening process. I treated donors who have been as old as 40 or 41 who have been sisters of one of the men in the couple, and the treatment has worked, but the chance of it working is much less if the egg donor is older because there’s much higher risk of genetically abnormal eggs.” As far as having a friend as a surrogate, Dr. Hesla says that your friend should undergo the full screening process in order to make sure she’s a match. “We obtain the medical records of the potential surrogate’s past pregnancies and deliveries and review them to make sure that there were no complications in previous pregnancies. All surrogates are women who’ve had children in the past and have children who are living at home with them at present. There are potential risks in women carrying pregnancies and we want to make sure that a surrogate is someone who has lower risks.” Of course we talked about so very much in the episode. Listen to the conversation – and then go make some babies! :) Our Co-Hosts Stephen Horn (Talent and Organization Developer at a BioTech company) and Spencer Barnes (Celebrity Make Up Artist) met two years ago in Los Angeles through mutual friends. The couple are seriously considering having kids and begin their research through us at Daddy Squared. Follow Stephen and Spencer on their journey to parenthood on Instagram, at @stephen_william89 and @spencernarnesla. Our Guest John S. Hesla, MD, is a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist specializing in the treatment and care of patients with endocrine and infertility issues. He joined ORM Fertility in 1999 as co-founder of its IVF program — helping to build one of the first embryology laboratory clean rooms in the world. Dr.

This is dedicated to all of you #futuredads out there. There is so much information on surrogacy for gay men and having biological babies, that it can sometimes be overwhelming. In this episode we help gay couple Stephen and Spencer, with their baby steps in their research on having kids. We interviewed Dr. John Hesla from ORM Fertility, who answered the couples’ questions, including the pros and cons of having a surrogate and/or an egg donor who is a friend. There’s fascination especially from women and girlfriends of gay men, around gays becoming dads. Have you ever had a girlfriend coming to you, like, ‘Oh my God! I want to have your kid!’? Well, maybe it’s worth it to take them to dinner and figure out how serious they are about it, because it sure saves you tens of thousands of dollars in the process of building your family. “If you go with someone you know, most of the time the expectation is that that person will have a role in the child’s life, and probably the child will periodically see her,” Dr. Hesla told Stephen and Spencer on our podcast. “If a friend or a family member agrees to donate eggs for you, she may not be optimal in terms of her egg quality or in terms of her family medical background. So if the woman, the donor, is someone the couples knows, she would have to undergo a thorough screening process. I treated donors who have been as old as 40 or 41 who have been sisters of one of the men in the couple, and the treatment has worked, but the chance of it working is much less if the egg donor is older because there’s much higher risk of genetically abnormal eggs.” As far as having a friend as a surrogate, Dr. Hesla says that your friend should undergo the full screening process in order to make sure she’s a match. “We obtain the medical records of the potential surrogate’s past pregnancies and deliveries and review them to make sure that there were no complications in previous pregnancies. All surrogates are women who’ve had children in the past and have children who are living at home with them at present. There are potential risks in women carrying pregnancies and we want to make sure that a surrogate is someone who has lower risks.” Of course we talked about so very much in the episode. Listen to the conversation – and then go make some babies! :) Our Co-Hosts Stephen Horn (Talent and Organization Developer at a BioTech company) and Spencer Barnes (Celebrity Make Up Artist) met two years ago in Los Angeles through mutual friends. The couple are seriously considering having kids and begin their research through us at Daddy Squared. Follow Stephen and Spencer on their journey to parenthood on Instagram, at @stephen_william89 and @spencernarnesla. Our Guest John S. Hesla, MD, is a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist specializing in the treatment and care of patients with endocrine and infertility issues. He joined ORM Fertility in 1999 as co-founder of its IVF program — helping to build one of the first embryology laboratory clean rooms in the world. Dr.

Awkward silences, frequent "jokes" and cynicism for each other - and lack of sex can be signs for a couple to seek therapy. And when you have kids, the distance can be amplified since work/kids take all the focus off of the relationship. As avid couples therapy fans, we turned to Ken Howard, a therapist who specializes in gay men, to discuss some of the elements that are brought up in couples therapy, and how they present themselves in a gay male couple. "When you feel like you don't know what the solutions are, when you feel like you can't get passed your point of you versus your partner's point of view” – That’s what gay men’s therapist Ken Howard advises to look for as an indicator of whether a couple should consider therapy. “I think it's when you get to that 'now what?' feeling," he says, that can lead you to follow your commitment to the man you love and work on the relationship at a deeper level. Lack of sex can also be an indicator that something is off in the relationship. "Although people forget that that's awfully normal in both straight and gay relationships,” Howard says. “My mentor Michael Shernoff who is a gay men specialist therapist for 30 years in New York used to say that 'sometimes a period of hot sex cools into a lifetime of warm sex.’ And I do work with couples who do not necessarily have sex with each other." Howard also teaches his clients 'The Three C's' principles of Commitment, Communication and Compromise. It emerged following years of treating couples and noticing what do long-term happy couples tend to have in common. "Relationships work in four levels,” he explained on Daddy Squared podcast, “emotionally, physically including sexually, domestically-meaning managing a house together which a lot of couples underestimate, particularly manning finance, and a forth one  I call 'managing the other,' which means coping with stress in a gay relationship that come from the outside in, a homophobic relative... you know, gay couples have stresses that they have to fend off that straight couples don't have." Our Guest: Ken Howard, LCSW Ken Howard is the founder of GayTherapyLA and has over 27 years experience as specialist in therapy for gay men and gay male couples. He helps gay men overcome challenges, setbacks, barriers, and losses in life, to heal and thrive again, overcome challenges such as depression, anxiety, trauma, job stress, career direction, dating/relationship skills, sexual dysfunction and addictions, as well as building a better relationship with your partner. Ken also teaches graduate courses in psychotherapy practice and LGBT issues at USC. In-person and phone/webcam sessions available. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: Ken Howard, GayTherapyLA.comOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:

Awkward silences, frequent "jokes" and cynicism for each other - and lack of sex can be signs for a couple to seek therapy. And when you have kids, the distance can be amplified since work/kids take all the focus off of the relationship. As avid couples therapy fans, we turned to Ken Howard, a therapist who specializes in gay men, to discuss some of the elements that are brought up in couples therapy, and how they present themselves in a gay male couple. "When you feel like you don't know what the solutions are, when you feel like you can't get passed your point of you versus your partner's point of view” – That’s what gay men’s therapist Ken Howard advises to look for as an indicator of whether a couple should consider therapy. “I think it's when you get to that 'now what?' feeling," he says, that can lead you to follow your commitment to the man you love and work on the relationship at a deeper level. Lack of sex can also be an indicator that something is off in the relationship. "Although people forget that that's awfully normal in both straight and gay relationships,” Howard says. “My mentor Michael Shernoff who is a gay men specialist therapist for 30 years in New York used to say that 'sometimes a period of hot sex cools into a lifetime of warm sex.’ And I do work with couples who do not necessarily have sex with each other." Howard also teaches his clients 'The Three C's' principles of Commitment, Communication and Compromise. It emerged following years of treating couples and noticing what do long-term happy couples tend to have in common. "Relationships work in four levels,” he explained on Daddy Squared podcast, “emotionally, physically including sexually, domestically-meaning managing a house together which a lot of couples underestimate, particularly manning finance, and a forth one  I call 'managing the other,' which means coping with stress in a gay relationship that come from the outside in, a homophobic relative... you know, gay couples have stresses that they have to fend off that straight couples don't have." Our Guest: Ken Howard, LCSW Ken Howard is the founder of GayTherapyLA and has over 27 years experience as specialist in therapy for gay men and gay male couples. He helps gay men overcome challenges, setbacks, barriers, and losses in life, to heal and thrive again, overcome challenges such as depression, anxiety, trauma, job stress, career direction, dating/relationship skills, sexual dysfunction and addictions, as well as building a better relationship with your partner. Ken also teaches graduate courses in psychotherapy practice and LGBT issues at USC. In-person and phone/webcam sessions available. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: Ken Howard, GayTherapyLA.comOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:

Marriage Equality means Divorce Equality. Although it's not being talked about a lot, sometimes things just don't work out and you have to break up your marriage. We asked journalist and author Steven Petrow, who often writes LGBT educational editorials in the Washington Post and the New York Times, and a gay divorced man, to talk to us about what it means to have had this experience. There are roughly 646,500 same-sex married couples in the US, according to a 2019 report by the William's Institute. For LGBTQ couples, the odds of breaking up are about 0% to 1.8% annually, which is slightly less than their heterosexual peers, who have a 2% divorce rate. Journalist and author Steven Petrow have recently made his divorce a teachable moment in an opinion article he published on The Atlantic. It turned out that many of his and his ex-husband's friends—straight and gay—didn’t think divorce laws applied to same-sex couples. Fred Hertz, a California-based lawyer specializing in same-sex-family law, had told him that many of his clients are surprised that nowadays there's no separate set of rules for gay couples . A divorce is a divorce. So in retrospective, how does Steve see his divorce? "The best and the fairest way to describe it," he tells us, "as a friend described it to me, if you think of a couple that starts off, think of them as railroad tracks. You hope that they're parallel, and they're going to stay parallel and you'll stay in tandem forever. But if they're just off a little bit, like if the one on the right is bending a tad to the right and the one on the left is bending a tad to the left, well they're close at the beginning but 14 years later they have really diverged a huge amount and you're in different places. And that's how I understand what happened to us." At a time when gay marriage is such a big deal to the community must a gay couple stay married as a symbol of our success? What does it mean that a gay man gets divorced after we worked so hard to get married in the first place? "As a professional who was giving advise to LGBTQ people about their relationships, who wrote a book about gay weddings I did feel a certain sense of responsibility about doing it in an appropriate way and of course I felt huge sadness,” says Steve Petrow in our interview with him. "I did have that conversation in my head as well, and of course when something doesn't work out there's a personal disappointment. As I said to friends, I never imagined in this lifetime that I would be married as a gay man nor did I ever imagine that I would be divorced." Gay Divorce is Part of Marriage Equality Steve wasn’t alone in these feelings and this experience. "Early on people were quietly getting married and many of those - I call them the early marrieds - they ran aground fairly quickly. I think we're now seeing stabilized numbers where in the end the percentage of same-sex couples who divorce will be about the same as opposite sex over time which is to say about 50 percent." So is there anything qualitatively different between gay marriage and straight marriage that may speak to the potential success of such a commitment? This is a good question. We talk in this episode about the opportunity that comes ...

Marriage Equality means Divorce Equality. Although it's not being talked about a lot, sometimes things just don't work out and you have to break up your marriage. We asked journalist and author Steven Petrow, who often writes LGBT educational editorials in the Washington Post and the New York Times, and a gay divorced man, to talk to us about what it means to have had this experience. There are roughly 646,500 same-sex married couples in the US, according to a 2019 report by the William's Institute. For LGBTQ couples, the odds of breaking up are about 0% to 1.8% annually, which is slightly less than their heterosexual peers, who have a 2% divorce rate. Journalist and author Steven Petrow have recently made his divorce a teachable moment in an opinion article he published on The Atlantic. It turned out that many of his and his ex-husband's friends—straight and gay—didn’t think divorce laws applied to same-sex couples. Fred Hertz, a California-based lawyer specializing in same-sex-family law, had told him that many of his clients are surprised that nowadays there's no separate set of rules for gay couples . A divorce is a divorce. So in retrospective, how does Steve see his divorce? "The best and the fairest way to describe it," he tells us, "as a friend described it to me, if you think of a couple that starts off, think of them as railroad tracks. You hope that they're parallel, and they're going to stay parallel and you'll stay in tandem forever. But if they're just off a little bit, like if the one on the right is bending a tad to the right and the one on the left is bending a tad to the left, well they're close at the beginning but 14 years later they have really diverged a huge amount and you're in different places. And that's how I understand what happened to us." At a time when gay marriage is such a big deal to the community must a gay couple stay married as a symbol of our success? What does it mean that a gay man gets divorced after we worked so hard to get married in the first place? "As a professional who was giving advise to LGBTQ people about their relationships, who wrote a book about gay weddings I did feel a certain sense of responsibility about doing it in an appropriate way and of course I felt huge sadness,” says Steve Petrow in our interview with him. "I did have that conversation in my head as well, and of course when something doesn't work out there's a personal disappointment. As I said to friends, I never imagined in this lifetime that I would be married as a gay man nor did I ever imagine that I would be divorced." Gay Divorce is Part of Marriage Equality Steve wasn’t alone in these feelings and this experience. "Early on people were quietly getting married and many of those - I call them the early marrieds - they ran aground fairly quickly. I think we're now seeing stabilized numbers where in the end the percentage of same-sex couples who divorce will be about the same as opposite sex over time which is to say about 50 percent." So is there anything qualitatively different between gay marriage and straight marriage that may speak to the potential success of such a commitment? This is a good question. We talk in this episode about the opportunity that comes ...

After Losing our beloved dog Koobeh earlier this year, we faced the challenge of explaining death and grief to our kids. When we started working on this season of the show we wanted to create an episode that will help parents who had to experience loss in front of their young children.  We found Jesse Brune-Horan, a minister and a grief consultant who faced the worst of all - the loss of a child. In this episode we explore fear and grief, how to move through them and how to deal with our kids' facing them. Jesse Brune-Horan doesn't recommend pushing yourself through your grief. "We're inundated with self help things and material like that that people feel like they have to power through your enlightenment or your healing or whatever it is," Brune-Horan explains, "and sometimes it's not helpful." "I really encourage people to always take the most peaceful path in the moment, whatever that is for you. Sometimes it looks like not dealing with it, putting on your sweats and watching Netflix for the weekend and that's ok," he adds. Deal with your grief when you're ready to deal with it When going through grief and loss, some people experience relief when they are 'giving themselves permission' to be sad. To just stay in the sadness and cry for as long as they need. "When I work with people who are moving through grief there's like big, big piece of permission I give them, like, do your best in the moment, today, what's the most peaceful thing you can do today," Jesse explains. "And when we focus on peace, then whatever it is that's preventing us from feeling that peace will naturally arise. And if we're patient enough then we can sort of look at what's coming up in that moment and we get to choose, like am I ready to tackle that horse yet or am I letting it ride by for now. The good news is, and you have been through enough life to know that, if there's an issue that needs to be dealt with, then it eventually will be dealt with or [it will show up over and over again in your life] and you'll be miserable." "Be a Man" Jesse believes that we as dads should show our kids how we deal with our emotions - especially the 'bad' ones. "A lot of what we were told, what a man is supposed to be and how 'a man' supposed to act - toughening up, not showing emotion, not being sad and all that stuff," he says. "And now we know that it's all bullshit and unhealthy and doesn't really serve anybody. So to allow yourself to express emotion in front of your kid I think it's a brilliant beautiful thing and you should, and you should let them know that it's ok to be sad, it's ok to have these experiences, it's ok to grieve, show them how to grieve." "I think that's the key: the key is we teach through our demonstration. We show them what it is to be sad, what it is to be happy. We show them what healthy boundary is, we show them what love is, we show them what family is." Our Guest: Jesse Brune-Horan Founder and Spiritual Director, Active Love Ministries.Jesse is a celebrated spiritual teacher, writer, activist, and lifestyle expert with over 15 years in the field. He's the co-founder of Inspire Spiritual Community, a Los Angeles based Independent New Thought organization serving the LGBTQ+ community & allies. He served as Spiritual Director from 2013-2019...

After Losing our beloved dog Koobeh earlier this year, we faced the challenge of explaining death and grief to our kids. When we started working on this season of the show we wanted to create an episode that will help parents who had to experience loss in front of their young children.  We found Jesse Brune-Horan, a minister and a grief consultant who faced the worst of all - the loss of a child. In this episode we explore fear and grief, how to move through them and how to deal with our kids' facing them. Jesse Brune-Horan doesn't recommend pushing yourself through your grief. "We're inundated with self help things and material like that that people feel like they have to power through your enlightenment or your healing or whatever it is," Brune-Horan explains, "and sometimes it's not helpful." "I really encourage people to always take the most peaceful path in the moment, whatever that is for you. Sometimes it looks like not dealing with it, putting on your sweats and watching Netflix for the weekend and that's ok," he adds. Deal with your grief when you're ready to deal with it When going through grief and loss, some people experience relief when they are 'giving themselves permission' to be sad. To just stay in the sadness and cry for as long as they need. "When I work with people who are moving through grief there's like big, big piece of permission I give them, like, do your best in the moment, today, what's the most peaceful thing you can do today," Jesse explains. "And when we focus on peace, then whatever it is that's preventing us from feeling that peace will naturally arise. And if we're patient enough then we can sort of look at what's coming up in that moment and we get to choose, like am I ready to tackle that horse yet or am I letting it ride by for now. The good news is, and you have been through enough life to know that, if there's an issue that needs to be dealt with, then it eventually will be dealt with or [it will show up over and over again in your life] and you'll be miserable." "Be a Man" Jesse believes that we as dads should show our kids how we deal with our emotions - especially the 'bad' ones. "A lot of what we were told, what a man is supposed to be and how 'a man' supposed to act - toughening up, not showing emotion, not being sad and all that stuff," he says. "And now we know that it's all bullshit and unhealthy and doesn't really serve anybody. So to allow yourself to express emotion in front of your kid I think it's a brilliant beautiful thing and you should, and you should let them know that it's ok to be sad, it's ok to have these experiences, it's ok to grieve, show them how to grieve." "I think that's the key: the key is we teach through our demonstration. We show them what it is to be sad, what it is to be happy. We show them what healthy boundary is, we show them what love is, we show them what family is." Our Guest: Jesse Brune-Horan Founder and Spiritual Director, Active Love Ministries.Jesse is a celebrated spiritual teacher, writer, activist, and lifestyle expert with over 15 years in the field. He's the co-founder of Inspire Spiritual Community, a Los Angeles based Independent New Thought organization serving the LGBTQ+ community & allies. He served as Spiritual Director from 2013-2019...

Daddy Squared is playing matchmaker: When you are a single dad, it seem almost impossible to find time for dating. In this episode we tried to explore the (potential) love life of single gay dads, with Daniel Vandenbark, a divorcee and a single dad of a 7-year-old, who spoke candidly with us in the studio, and with Tammy Shaklee of H4M, a professional LGBT matchmaker. Having to juggle house management, kids and work, some single dads often testify, "I'm comfortable being alone." But sometimes, this 'comfortable' situation is just a result of not wanting the constant filtering through extra noise of trying to find love. We brought Daniel Vandenbark, a single dad and a (gay) divorcee, to the studio and he spoke candidly about trying to date as a single dad. "I sit here and I start pondering, ok is it because I'm 43 now and you reach that certain age when you less willing to deal with this sh*t. I don't want the antics I don't want the silliness, I want someone who has responsibility, professionalism, etc," Daniel said. "I get annoyed with the apps," he added, "because it's the same antics that probably many people here know about so I don't really love the apps. But yet, I hold out hope because [every now and then] you talk to somebody and they're like 'oh, we met on Grindr' so there might be hope." More in this episode: We are dads, not 'daddies,' plus Alex and Greg give tips on how to hit on men in bars, we discuss setting your financial goals for 2020 and of course -- don't be scared of matchmaking! Now is the time to date a gay dad! Guest Host: Greg of @greginla Blog Greg, a single gay man, grew up in the northwest suburbs of Boston in a middle-class family with its share of enjoyment and challenges. He grew up with an interest in biology and a passion for health and fitness. He started weightlifting in college and graduated with a degree in biochemistry. He started his career as a tech and scientist in the biotechnology/ pharmaceutical industry in the Boston area while documenting his fitness and modeling journey on instagram. In 2015, he moved to Los Angeles, CA to pursue a more enjoyable lifestyle as a young gay fit man while his career slowly became more engineering focused and regulation-driven. More recently, his Instagram became better focused on showing others how to live a healthier lifestyle. In 2018, he launched his own lifestyle blog to supplement his Instagram to help others with their fitness journeys and mental awareness to pursue the lifestyle they have dreamt for themselves. Our Guest: Daniel Vandenbark Dezineinc.comInstagram: @dznrdad  / @dezineinc Daniel Vandenbark is the founder and principal of DEZINE INC, and works for over 20 years in interior design and branding in Los Angeles. When he isn’t creating beautiful homes for his clients, you’ll likely find Daniel making adventures with his seven year ...

Daddy Squared is playing matchmaker: When you are a single dad, it seem almost impossible to find time for dating. In this episode we tried to explore the (potential) love life of single gay dads, with Daniel Vandenbark, a divorcee and a single dad of a 7-year-old, who spoke candidly with us in the studio, and with Tammy Shaklee of H4M, a professional LGBT matchmaker. Having to juggle house management, kids and work, some single dads often testify, "I'm comfortable being alone." But sometimes, this 'comfortable' situation is just a result of not wanting the constant filtering through extra noise of trying to find love. We brought Daniel Vandenbark, a single dad and a (gay) divorcee, to the studio and he spoke candidly about trying to date as a single dad. "I sit here and I start pondering, ok is it because I'm 43 now and you reach that certain age when you less willing to deal with this sh*t. I don't want the antics I don't want the silliness, I want someone who has responsibility, professionalism, etc," Daniel said. "I get annoyed with the apps," he added, "because it's the same antics that probably many people here know about so I don't really love the apps. But yet, I hold out hope because [every now and then] you talk to somebody and they're like 'oh, we met on Grindr' so there might be hope." More in this episode: We are dads, not 'daddies,' plus Alex and Greg give tips on how to hit on men in bars, we discuss setting your financial goals for 2020 and of course -- don't be scared of matchmaking! Now is the time to date a gay dad! Guest Host: Greg of @greginla Blog Greg, a single gay man, grew up in the northwest suburbs of Boston in a middle-class family with its share of enjoyment and challenges. He grew up with an interest in biology and a passion for health and fitness. He started weightlifting in college and graduated with a degree in biochemistry. He started his career as a tech and scientist in the biotechnology/ pharmaceutical industry in the Boston area while documenting his fitness and modeling journey on instagram. In 2015, he moved to Los Angeles, CA to pursue a more enjoyable lifestyle as a young gay fit man while his career slowly became more engineering focused and regulation-driven. More recently, his Instagram became better focused on showing others how to live a healthier lifestyle. In 2018, he launched his own lifestyle blog to supplement his Instagram to help others with their fitness journeys and mental awareness to pursue the lifestyle they have dreamt for themselves. Our Guest: Daniel Vandenbark Dezineinc.comInstagram: @dznrdad  / @dezineinc Daniel Vandenbark is the founder and principal of DEZINE INC, and works for over 20 years in interior design and branding in Los Angeles. When he isn’t creating beautiful homes for his clients, you’ll likely find Daniel making adventures with his seven year ...

All we really hope for as parents is that our children will grow up to be not only healthy, but also positive, optimistic people. How wonderful life can be for them if they see and imagine the bright side. We began our third season with some positive inspiration from life coach Scott Cruz, and talked to him about positivity and how to instill it in our kids. We all want to raise a positive-thinking child, right?! According to Scott Cruz, a leading LA life coach, being ‘positive’ is subjective, and it’s only a matter of preference, how would you like to perceive your life? "When people focus too much on positivity they become very judgmental,” Cruz told us in the podcast, “so I would say if we focus on our own personal preferences we just end up being naturally positive." "Negative thoughts will always be there, it's all about teaching [your kids AND yourself] how to use them. For example, self worth or self confidence, let's say if a child is not confident in what they're doing, and they really love, for example, creating art. They're not confident because they're comparing themselves to others. That's a negative thought, but you can use the comparison to build their artistic style or to be more inspired. So they can take the negative feeling about themselves to push them further... so the negative challenges can turn more into self-defining experiences. If people are trying to run away from it or numb it that prevents growth. " Teaching Your Kids Optimism While we argue that raising a positive child has a lot to do with an optimistic way of thinking, Scott thinks that optimism and pessimism can be instilled in a child by their parents, to a certain degree. So those who wonder if the fact that they come from a non-optimistic household will automatically make their kids pessimistic will be relieved to know that being pessimistic is not biological, it's belief structure. By working on yourself and facing your own challenges you can “correct” negativity that was passed from generation to generation in your family. "If your kids are having their own point of view and their inner being is very optimistic,” Scott says, “they’re just going to resist you. I mean, the older they get, the more that they will try to go to [Alex] and less connect with you - because they don't like your pessimistic energy." "If you work on that within yourself you let your children understand that being defeated is not even an option and experiencing failure is just a growth experience, not an end result. You want to tell your children, ‘It's not about what I do wrong or what I do well, it's about, are you allowing yourself to grow from the experiences?’" According to Scott, instilling of positivity and negativity towards life happens at a very early age, "Between ages 1 and 7 the human brain is in fetus state, which means the child is purely observing,” he says. “So maybe [for a 6-month old baby] words don't mean anything but the words are reflections of your energy and your intentions. For example, there's a three-month-old in the crib, and you guys are constantly in distain of each other, the baby feels that energy, of disconnection. But if you're aware of figuring out through your nonsense, even if you're showing distinct toward each other but then you resolve it and they see you resolve -- they're going to pick up on resolution. It's not the argue that was the issue, is about the fact that you resolved that and then back to the same page, team work." Co-Host: Braden Sanford Braden is a blogger and a stay-at-home Dad raising 4 kids under 3… including triplets and identical girls (aka a valiant attempt to retain my sanity…).

All we really hope for as parents is that our children will grow up to be not only healthy, but also positive, optimistic people. How wonderful life can be for them if they see and imagine the bright side. We began our third season with some positive inspiration from life coach Scott Cruz, and talked to him about positivity and how to instill it in our kids. We all want to raise a positive-thinking child, right?! According to Scott Cruz, a leading LA life coach, being ‘positive’ is subjective, and it’s only a matter of preference, how would you like to perceive your life? "When people focus too much on positivity they become very judgmental,” Cruz told us in the podcast, “so I would say if we focus on our own personal preferences we just end up being naturally positive." "Negative thoughts will always be there, it's all about teaching [your kids AND yourself] how to use them. For example, self worth or self confidence, let's say if a child is not confident in what they're doing, and they really love, for example, creating art. They're not confident because they're comparing themselves to others. That's a negative thought, but you can use the comparison to build their artistic style or to be more inspired. So they can take the negative feeling about themselves to push them further... so the negative challenges can turn more into self-defining experiences. If people are trying to run away from it or numb it that prevents growth. " Teaching Your Kids Optimism While we argue that raising a positive child has a lot to do with an optimistic way of thinking, Scott thinks that optimism and pessimism can be instilled in a child by their parents, to a certain degree. So those who wonder if the fact that they come from a non-optimistic household will automatically make their kids pessimistic will be relieved to know that being pessimistic is not biological, it's belief structure. By working on yourself and facing your own challenges you can “correct” negativity that was passed from generation to generation in your family. "If your kids are having their own point of view and their inner being is very optimistic,” Scott says, “they’re just going to resist you. I mean, the older they get, the more that they will try to go to [Alex] and less connect with you - because they don't like your pessimistic energy." "If you work on that within yourself you let your children understand that being defeated is not even an option and experiencing failure is just a growth experience, not an end result. You want to tell your children, ‘It's not about what I do wrong or what I do well, it's about, are you allowing yourself to grow from the experiences?’" According to Scott, instilling of positivity and negativity towards life happens at a very early age, "Between ages 1 and 7 the human brain is in fetus state, which means the child is purely observing,” he says. “So maybe [for a 6-month old baby] words don't mean anything but the words are reflections of your energy and your intentions. For example, there's a three-month-old in the crib, and you guys are constantly in distain of each other, the baby feels that energy, of disconnection. But if you're aware of figuring out through your nonsense, even if you're showing distinct toward each other but then you resolve it and they see you resolve -- they're going to pick up on resolution. It's not the argue that was the issue, is about the fact that you resolved that and then back to the same page, team work." Co-Host: Braden Sanford Braden is a blogger and a stay-at-home Dad raising 4 kids under 3… including triplets and identical girls (aka a valiant attempt to retain my sanity…).