Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast

Almost every dad has suffered some unwanted criticism either on social media or in real life, from people who 'know better' about parenting. Dad shaming is a thing, parents tend to judge other parents, and it manifests itself both on social media and in real life, making dads just feel awful about themselves. As a follow-up to our Pride episode, we talk about the opposite of pride - shame. We brought on Jeremy Hooper, a writer and consultant for GLAAD, who has been dad-shamed before he even left the hospital with his newborn, to discuss dealing with dad shaming, 'momsplaining,' and other forms of criticism. On the eve of publishing this episode we received an email from a person who chose to remain anonymous but made sure he let us know that he had heard one of us asking our kids not to touch every single item on the Starbucks counter and the way we talked to them made him 'concerned that we are beating our children.' Less than a year ago we confronted a mom who literally told us we're bad fathers because we didn't handle a parenting situation like she would. Dad shaming is everywhere, and it happens to almost all of us, and it hurts. Even if we pretend that it doesn't. "I've been encountered a lot of [dad shaming] online," says writer and activist Jeremy Hooper, "when my child was born both Human Rights Campaign and GLAAD posted a congratulatory post about my child being born, and when we were in the hospital with her I got anti LGBT activists on Twitter saying things like 'this is so sad,' 'no mother for this child.' That's just a weird thing to experience when you're feeding a new baby in this lovely little bubble of new life. I've experienced a lot of it that way, and definitely in the online space that's happened to me." Ariel Foxman wrote on O, The Oprah Magazine: "Andy Cohen’s proud-papa pics have ignited multiple firestorms. One scroll through his account, and you’ll see comments like: How could you take a newborn on a plane? How could you place your baby in a crib with pillows? How could you even think of letting your beloved rescue beagle Wacha anywhere near your boy or his toys? How could you compromise your son’s privacy by posing together for the cover of People magazine?" Some feel that dad shaming should be ignored, because we can't get into a fight with everyone who throws a little comment on us. Others feel that we should take advantage and use these 'teachable moments' to 'momsplainers' and other forms of judgment on our path to equality. Which side are you on? We just say: be kind, and think about the person you're judging or commenting to. We're all human. We're all people with feelings, and we all do our best to raise happy, healthy and kind children. Our Guest: Jeremy Hooper Jeremy Hooper is a longtime LGBT rights activist and father. His widely read blog, Good As You, won an number of awards and was a major player in the movement’s more recent fights. Since 2011, Jeremy has worked with GLAAD on opposition research and strategy, devising campaigns to push back against anti-LGBT forces. Jeremy became a father in 2011, and divides his time between parenthood and activism.  Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel,

What is Pride? As Pride Month approaches, we wanted to take a look at pride, maybe a little more from the parenting perspective: how can we instill self-pride in our kids - pride for our kids in who they are and in where they come from? We turned to Ariel Foxman, a writer, a journalist and a thinker, to talk about the issue. We hope that our conversation will inspire you. Take Action: Demand a same-sex parent family on Peppa Pig! “I think that what’s interesting about being a gay dad, which I don’t think straight parents necessarily think about. It’s like ‘I can be something that my child may not be,’” says Ariel Foxman. “We’re Jewish, my child will be raised Jewish. Will he stay Jewish? In practice? I don’t know. Will he have the fundamentals of Judaism? Yes, because that’s the house he grows up in. “[my kid] is Hispanic, he will always be Hispanic. I will never be Hispanic but his other father is. So what’s our responsibility in terms of understanding his culture, his heritage where he’s from, where he’s going. My being gay, though, has no bearing on whether or not he will be gay, queer, straight, whatever. So I think there’s a little less pressure about that for me in that ‘you need to know that all people are the same, everyone is different at the same time and that’s ok. You don’t have to worry about having to judge one thing verses the other. Everything is ok.’” It’s pretty clear that these little things we consistently do in front of our children add up. “For me, and I know for my husband, it really boils down to not being judgmental as best we can as human beings and respecting everyone as they cross your path,” says Ariel.   “I think it’s probably easier to say ‘take them to museums and read them books and put them in a class and be very, very proud about the things that you are and then be in a household where they don’t treat some relatives nicely, talk about people behind their back, they’re short with the waiter in the restaurant, these things that insulate people and make them feel better or higher than other people “It’s not necessarily what comes to mind when you think about pride or respect but if a child sees that you consistently treat everybody equally, then having pride in yourself is like a no-brainer.”  Gay Dads: Show Up At Pride Parades A note to all you gay dads and prospective gay dads about Gay Pride parades and events this month: Many of us might be tired of these things. And especially if we live in one of the super gay cities, we may wonder what, really, is the point? But Alex & Yan are here to ask you to go. Show up. Bring the kids. I can promise that no matter where you live, many, many young people (and some not so young) at the Parade will be secretly asking themselves, “Can my life as a gay man be full? Can it be real?”  All of you are the very best answers to that question. Go answer them by BEING THERE! About Our Guest: Ariel Foxman Ariel Foxman is  a content specialist working with a portfolio of lifestyle and direct-to-consumer brands. He is also a contributing editor to Vanity Fair and writes a regular column on gay parenting for Maisonette.He has written for Time magazine, Fortune, New York, and The New York Times, among others, and was editorial director of leading fashion media brands InStyle and StyleWatch.  Ariel is a frequent speaker on such topics as careers, fashion, and publishing, and is a lecturer at New York University’s Summer Publishing Institu...

What is Pride? As Pride Month approaches, we wanted to take a look at pride, maybe a little more from the parenting perspective: how can we instill self-pride in our kids - pride for our kids in who they are and in where they come from? We turned to Ariel Foxman, a writer, a journalist and a thinker, to talk about the issue. We hope that our conversation will inspire you. Take Action: Demand a same-sex parent family on Peppa Pig! “I think that what’s interesting about being a gay dad, which I don’t think straight parents necessarily think about. It’s like ‘I can be something that my child may not be,’” says Ariel Foxman. “We’re Jewish, my child will be raised Jewish. Will he stay Jewish? In practice? I don’t know. Will he have the fundamentals of Judaism? Yes, because that’s the house he grows up in. “[my kid] is Hispanic, he will always be Hispanic. I will never be Hispanic but his other father is. So what’s our responsibility in terms of understanding his culture, his heritage where he’s from, where he’s going. My being gay, though, has no bearing on whether or not he will be gay, queer, straight, whatever. So I think there’s a little less pressure about that for me in that ‘you need to know that all people are the same, everyone is different at the same time and that’s ok. You don’t have to worry about having to judge one thing verses the other. Everything is ok.’” It’s pretty clear that these little things we consistently do in front of our children add up. “For me, and I know for my husband, it really boils down to not being judgmental as best we can as human beings and respecting everyone as they cross your path,” says Ariel.   “I think it’s probably easier to say ‘take them to museums and read them books and put them in a class and be very, very proud about the things that you are and then be in a household where they don’t treat some relatives nicely, talk about people behind their back, they’re short with the waiter in the restaurant, these things that insulate people and make them feel better or higher than other people “It’s not necessarily what comes to mind when you think about pride or respect but if a child sees that you consistently treat everybody equally, then having pride in yourself is like a no-brainer.”  Gay Dads: Show Up At Pride Parades A note to all you gay dads and prospective gay dads about Gay Pride parades and events this month: Many of us might be tired of these things. And especially if we live in one of the super gay cities, we may wonder what, really, is the point? But Alex & Yan are here to ask you to go. Show up. Bring the kids. I can promise that no matter where you live, many, many young people (and some not so young) at the Parade will be secretly asking themselves, “Can my life as a gay man be full? Can it be real?”  All of you are the very best answers to that question. Go answer them by BEING THERE! About Our Guest: Ariel Foxman Ariel Foxman is  a content specialist working with a portfolio of lifestyle and direct-to-consumer brands. He is also a contributing editor to Vanity Fair and writes a regular column on gay parenting for Maisonette.He has written for Time magazine, Fortune, New York, and The New York Times, among others, and was editorial director of leading fashion media brands InStyle and StyleWatch.  Ariel is a frequent speaker on such topics as careers, fashion, and publishing, and is a lecturer at New York University’s Summer Publishing Institu...

Here’s a fact: gay parents are much more attentive to their kids’ gender expressions than heterosexual parents. Just from the nature of growing up different, sometimes in an unwelcoming environment, we don’t want our kids to suffer the emotional pain that we went through. This is a partial explanation for an amazing growing phenomenon, where gay couples step forward and adopt transgender youth who were thrown out of their homes. In this episode of Daddy Squared we brought on David Strah, a family therapist from Los Angeles who specializes in LGBT. David is also a father of a transgender boy, and shares from his own personal experience. “It’s sort of a myth that trans people or trans kids come out and say ‘this is the way I am’ at age 2, David explains. “There’re normally a few things that happen or that show up, and sometimes it means that they are going to be trans and sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it means that they’re going to be somewhere in the middle. I think it’s about educating ourselves, about being sensitive, about creating a household that’s trans friendly, talking about things, really getting in front of the issues, talking about the gender spectrum - all the differences, and how it is a spectrum and you don’t have to be one way or the other. You can be somewhere in between or you can lean towards being a boy or lean towards being a girl and then another day you can decide to do something different.” Strah thinks it’s really important to listen to our kids and if they’re saying something very clearly, to really respond to that and cooperate with them. “I think that when my younger son, when he was a girl, probably at around 5 or 6, he definitely wanted to wear boys underwear, briefs,” David shares. “So we went out to the Gap and bought boys’ briefs and we were absolutely fine with that. We didn’t really know what it meant but we felt that he was directing that and that’s something he wanted to do so we did it, and at that time, to be perfectly honest, we thought well, he’s got two dads and a big brother so he probably wants to wear underwear like he sees on other people in his family. “There was another time, around Rosh Hashanah, and she needed a new dress. She absolutely refused to wear a dress, she wanted a suit, so we said ok, and went to J. Crew and bought a suit and we said ‘but you have to wear a flower on the lapelle-which was kinda silly in retrospect on our part—but that was a compromise, she was very happy and she looked very chic. “There were also about two years, probably around 9-10, he only wanted to wear board shorts and tank tops to school. I thought that was a little odd, my husband at the time was in fashion, but we went with it. And then a little bit older, around 12, she went to summer camp and then we saw a real shift all of a sudden. She wanted really feminine clothes. She wanted bikinis and clothes from brands that we never heard of. I think she was dealing with the peer pressure at camp at that time so we sent her a bunch of stuff, and for years she was very feminine, she wanted her hair blown out, had her nails done every other week, and then it was kind of like a switch that went on at age 14 and she said ‘I think I’m a boy and I wanna get my hair cut,’ and so we said ok.” David says that he saw a lot of male energy in his child, and thought she maybe would be a lesbian, and that he and his husband were really surprised when their kid said he was trans. “I have really only recently come to the realization that our children are really not here to fulfill our own narcissistic needs,” David says, “and that’s really hard.” “As a parent,

Here’s a fact: gay parents are much more attentive to their kids’ gender expressions than heterosexual parents. Just from the nature of growing up different, sometimes in an unwelcoming environment, we don’t want our kids to suffer the emotional pain that we went through. This is a partial explanation for an amazing growing phenomenon, where gay couples step forward and adopt transgender youth who were thrown out of their homes. In this episode of Daddy Squared we brought on David Strah, a family therapist from Los Angeles who specializes in LGBT. David is also a father of a transgender boy, and shares from his own personal experience. “It’s sort of a myth that trans people or trans kids come out and say ‘this is the way I am’ at age 2, David explains. “There’re normally a few things that happen or that show up, and sometimes it means that they are going to be trans and sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it means that they’re going to be somewhere in the middle. I think it’s about educating ourselves, about being sensitive, about creating a household that’s trans friendly, talking about things, really getting in front of the issues, talking about the gender spectrum - all the differences, and how it is a spectrum and you don’t have to be one way or the other. You can be somewhere in between or you can lean towards being a boy or lean towards being a girl and then another day you can decide to do something different.” Strah thinks it’s really important to listen to our kids and if they’re saying something very clearly, to really respond to that and cooperate with them. “I think that when my younger son, when he was a girl, probably at around 5 or 6, he definitely wanted to wear boys underwear, briefs,” David shares. “So we went out to the Gap and bought boys’ briefs and we were absolutely fine with that. We didn’t really know what it meant but we felt that he was directing that and that’s something he wanted to do so we did it, and at that time, to be perfectly honest, we thought well, he’s got two dads and a big brother so he probably wants to wear underwear like he sees on other people in his family. “There was another time, around Rosh Hashanah, and she needed a new dress. She absolutely refused to wear a dress, she wanted a suit, so we said ok, and went to J. Crew and bought a suit and we said ‘but you have to wear a flower on the lapelle-which was kinda silly in retrospect on our part—but that was a compromise, she was very happy and she looked very chic. “There were also about two years, probably around 9-10, he only wanted to wear board shorts and tank tops to school. I thought that was a little odd, my husband at the time was in fashion, but we went with it. And then a little bit older, around 12, she went to summer camp and then we saw a real shift all of a sudden. She wanted really feminine clothes. She wanted bikinis and clothes from brands that we never heard of. I think she was dealing with the peer pressure at camp at that time so we sent her a bunch of stuff, and for years she was very feminine, she wanted her hair blown out, had her nails done every other week, and then it was kind of like a switch that went on at age 14 and she said ‘I think I’m a boy and I wanna get my hair cut,’ and so we said ok.” David says that he saw a lot of male energy in his child, and thought she maybe would be a lesbian, and that he and his husband were really surprised when their kid said he was trans. “I have really only recently come to the realization that our children are really not here to fulfill our own narcissistic needs,” David says, “and that’s really hard.” “As a parent,

When you’re a young couple it’s easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen. One of the main things we learned from our interview with David is that healthy eating habits for your kids stem from the way we, the parents, behave and interact with them when it comes to food. “I think that some parents also don’t want to put up a fight and don’t want to argue with their kids so they’ll just make a second meal,” David says. “You know, there’s no option in our house, there’s no second meal. What we’re eating for dinner they’re eating for dinner.” “My kids will eat anything you’ll put in front of them. And I think that there’s a lot of parents that just give their kids jarred baby food, and there’s no salt, there’s no flavor, and of course they’re learning to eat bland so no wonder they just want to eat chicken nuggets and macaronie and cheese. I think that the more we  try to expose our kids [to flavors] the better eaters they will be.” For those who struggle in the kitchen, David suggests to start with cooking chicken. “A roast chicken is one of the easiest things you can possibly do,” he says. “All you do is you pat it, you put salt and pepper on it, you put it in the oven, 425 for an hour. That’s it.  “You can have it that evening and then you can have chicken for the whole week. And there’s so many things you can [make from it], like soup or chicken pot pie, chicken enchiladas or a chicken salad – which is putting it on a regular green salad. It has endless possibilities. Even with a roast, you can cut half of it and put it in the freezer, I mean, proteins freeze really well, you can put them in the freezer for two weeks and then repurpose it in another way. That’s what I’m always doing.” David Burtka is an award-winning and sought-after host, chef, caterer, and actor. He has appeared on Broadway and in numerous television programs. David studied at The Cordon Bleu culinary school and interned at the acclaimed restaurant Babbo. He has also worked with Cat Cora, Thomas Keller, and Ina Garten. His Food Network special, Life's A Party with David Burtka, aired in 2016 and was awarded a Telly Award and 1st Prize at the New York Film and TV Awards. David lives in New York with his husband, Neil Patrick Harris, and their twin children, Gideon and Harper. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: David BurtkaOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:The Netherlands Wins Eurovision 2019 (Billboard) [discuss Eurovision with Yan on Instagram!

When you’re a young couple it’s easy to order in or dine out on a daily basis, but when the kids come along, spending time in the kitchen to prepare nutritious and healthy meals for them can become a problem for some dads. We turned to gay dad and celebrity chef David Burtka who just published his debut recipe book Life is a Party, to get some advice, inspiration, and support as we take our baby steps in the kitchen. One of the main things we learned from our interview with David is that healthy eating habits for your kids stem from the way we, the parents, behave and interact with them when it comes to food. “I think that some parents also don’t want to put up a fight and don’t want to argue with their kids so they’ll just make a second meal,” David says. “You know, there’s no option in our house, there’s no second meal. What we’re eating for dinner they’re eating for dinner.” “My kids will eat anything you’ll put in front of them. And I think that there’s a lot of parents that just give their kids jarred baby food, and there’s no salt, there’s no flavor, and of course they’re learning to eat bland so no wonder they just want to eat chicken nuggets and macaronie and cheese. I think that the more we  try to expose our kids [to flavors] the better eaters they will be.” For those who struggle in the kitchen, David suggests to start with cooking chicken. “A roast chicken is one of the easiest things you can possibly do,” he says. “All you do is you pat it, you put salt and pepper on it, you put it in the oven, 425 for an hour. That’s it.  “You can have it that evening and then you can have chicken for the whole week. And there’s so many things you can [make from it], like soup or chicken pot pie, chicken enchiladas or a chicken salad – which is putting it on a regular green salad. It has endless possibilities. Even with a roast, you can cut half of it and put it in the freezer, I mean, proteins freeze really well, you can put them in the freezer for two weeks and then repurpose it in another way. That’s what I’m always doing.” David Burtka is an award-winning and sought-after host, chef, caterer, and actor. He has appeared on Broadway and in numerous television programs. David studied at The Cordon Bleu culinary school and interned at the acclaimed restaurant Babbo. He has also worked with Cat Cora, Thomas Keller, and Ina Garten. His Food Network special, Life's A Party with David Burtka, aired in 2016 and was awarded a Telly Award and 1st Prize at the New York Film and TV Awards. David lives in New York with his husband, Neil Patrick Harris, and their twin children, Gideon and Harper. Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: David BurtkaOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy hereArticles Related to this episode:The Netherlands Wins Eurovision 2019 (Billboard) [discuss Eurovision with Yan on Instagram!

If you feel that after a vacation with the kids YOU need a vacation – you’re not alone! Traveling with kids is not always easy, sometimes we want them to have so much fun, that we forget to have fun ourselves. We brought on Instagram-known traveler and blogger Devon Gibby to share his experience and give us some tips on traveling with kids (and also without!) “A lot of [my traveling] is pretty impulsive,” Devon reveals in Daddy Squared interview, “travel is the way that I express my impulses, like, I booked this flight [to LA] two weeks ago. With the kids is a lot more planning. We follow accounts on Instagram that track flights from Salt Lake City, if we suddenly find a great deal that we can’t turn down, well, we’ll do it.” “I grew up camping a lot, I grew up in a farm in southern Idaho, and so traveling for us was either taking a camper or just tents and finding a place to camp for the night. So I didn’t do a lot of traveling until I was 19, I went on my Mormon mission to Trinidad and Guyana and I did not want to come home. My parents, at the end of my Mission they came to pick me up and we rented a car and drove all around the island, went on some hikes, went swimming in this fresh water streams, it was absolutely gorgeous. We camped on the beach, watched sea turtles lay eggs… I definitely fell in love with traveling then.” Three tips about traveling that we learned from our discussion with Devon: 1. Let the kids pack their luggage themselves- like always, involving the kids creates a sense of control and purpose in them, which makes them more excited and determined to cooperate in traveling and well-behaving. 2. Don’t tell your kids where you’re going until the last minute– the element of surprise is exiting and doesn’t leave too much room for rejections or any unwanted drama. 3. Follow deals accounts on Instagram – it’s an easy way to get deals come to you rather than constantly looking for them Do you have any traveling tips? Let us know in the comments, write us an email or message us on Instagram Our Guest: Devon Gibby Newly single and Proud dad Devon shares his adventures with his two kids to show that no matter what your family looks like, it's worth celebrating. It takes a village, so Devon also highlights other dads and daddies that are playing a positive role in the lives of kids. Episode Credits Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: Devon Gibby, Dad 'N DaddiesOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” 

If you feel that after a vacation with the kids YOU need a vacation – you’re not alone! Traveling with kids is not always easy, sometimes we want them to have so much fun, that we forget to have fun ourselves. We brought on Instagram-known traveler and blogger Devon Gibby to share his experience and give us some tips on traveling with kids (and also without!) “A lot of [my traveling] is pretty impulsive,” Devon reveals in Daddy Squared interview, “travel is the way that I express my impulses, like, I booked this flight [to LA] two weeks ago. With the kids is a lot more planning. We follow accounts on Instagram that track flights from Salt Lake City, if we suddenly find a great deal that we can’t turn down, well, we’ll do it.” “I grew up camping a lot, I grew up in a farm in southern Idaho, and so traveling for us was either taking a camper or just tents and finding a place to camp for the night. So I didn’t do a lot of traveling until I was 19, I went on my Mormon mission to Trinidad and Guyana and I did not want to come home. My parents, at the end of my Mission they came to pick me up and we rented a car and drove all around the island, went on some hikes, went swimming in this fresh water streams, it was absolutely gorgeous. We camped on the beach, watched sea turtles lay eggs… I definitely fell in love with traveling then.” Three tips about traveling that we learned from our discussion with Devon: 1. Let the kids pack their luggage themselves- like always, involving the kids creates a sense of control and purpose in them, which makes them more excited and determined to cooperate in traveling and well-behaving. 2. Don’t tell your kids where you’re going until the last minute– the element of surprise is exiting and doesn’t leave too much room for rejections or any unwanted drama. 3. Follow deals accounts on Instagram – it’s an easy way to get deals come to you rather than constantly looking for them Do you have any traveling tips? Let us know in the comments, write us an email or message us on Instagram Our Guest: Devon Gibby Newly single and Proud dad Devon shares his adventures with his two kids to show that no matter what your family looks like, it's worth celebrating. It takes a village, so Devon also highlights other dads and daddies that are playing a positive role in the lives of kids. Episode Credits Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex MaghenGuest: Devon Gibby, Dad 'N DaddiesOpening Theme: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” 

For our Family Equality Day special we brought on Stan J. Sloan, CEO of Family Equality Council, to speak about the work of the organization and about gay men who don't have kids and would like to connect with LGBTQ families. International Family Equality Day celebrates the diversity of LGBTQ families around the world, and takes place every year on the first Sunday in May. By celebrating International Family Equality Day, Family Equality Council raises awareness among politicians and the general public about the need for equal treatment and recognition for all families, regardless of the sexual orientation or gender identity of their family’s members. To mark this important day of visibility that kicks off Family Equality Week, we turned to Stan Sloan, Chief Executive Officer of Family Equality Council, to talk about the organization's work and how each of us can contribute for the sake of a better future for our kids' generation. “Our research has shown that 77% of millennial LGBTQ people are contemplating having children and 63% of them are actually planning on it, which represents a huge explosion in the decade ahead for LGBTQ families,” Stan says. “The goal of Family Equality Council is that every one of those millennials who wants to plan a family is able to do so. Our goal is to help people no matter where they are geographically, no matter what their income level, live their dream of becoming a parent.” Family Equality Council now has over a hundred chapters spread out across the United States that are doing synchronized activities to raise the visibility of LGBTQ families. "Every time we raise our visibility, discrimination that people are still facing in red states and rural areas gets easier.” - Stan J. Sloan An issue that we wanted to tackle on this family-oriented episode is gay men who don’t have kids and want them, somehow, in their lives. “Those of us who are in our fifties and sixties and seventies, when we were young we never imagined that we would be able to get married, let alone the idea of forming our own families,” Sloan says. “There’s a small fraction of us who pressed for it and they did make it happen but for the vast majority of us it just wasn’t an option, it was not something that we thought about. “For folks around my age there was a pain in feeling we didn’t have that option and ‘excuses’ like ‘I’m too old now’ or ‘I’m too selfish’ were things that we kind of told ourselves to ease our pain a little bit. If I was younger Jan and I would be having a baby, I feel certain of it. And I’m not. No criticism, of course, of younger people who are not having kids, but I’m pretty sure we’d have kids if we were a generation younger.” Family Equality Council’s mission is to advance legal and lived equality for LGBTQ families, and for those who wish to form them, through building community, changing hearts and minds, and driving policy change. One of the most prominent activities of Family Equality Council is Family Week in Provincetown. This is the largest annual gathering of lesbian, gay, bisexual,

For our Family Equality Day special we brought on Stan J. Sloan, CEO of Family Equality Council, to speak about the work of the organization and about gay men who don't have kids and would like to connect with LGBTQ families. International Family Equality Day celebrates the diversity of LGBTQ families around the world, and takes place every year on the first Sunday in May. By celebrating International Family Equality Day, Family Equality Council raises awareness among politicians and the general public about the need for equal treatment and recognition for all families, regardless of the sexual orientation or gender identity of their family’s members. To mark this important day of visibility that kicks off Family Equality Week, we turned to Stan Sloan, Chief Executive Officer of Family Equality Council, to talk about the organization's work and how each of us can contribute for the sake of a better future for our kids' generation. “Our research has shown that 77% of millennial LGBTQ people are contemplating having children and 63% of them are actually planning on it, which represents a huge explosion in the decade ahead for LGBTQ families,” Stan says. “The goal of Family Equality Council is that every one of those millennials who wants to plan a family is able to do so. Our goal is to help people no matter where they are geographically, no matter what their income level, live their dream of becoming a parent.” Family Equality Council now has over a hundred chapters spread out across the United States that are doing synchronized activities to raise the visibility of LGBTQ families. "Every time we raise our visibility, discrimination that people are still facing in red states and rural areas gets easier.” - Stan J. Sloan An issue that we wanted to tackle on this family-oriented episode is gay men who don’t have kids and want them, somehow, in their lives. “Those of us who are in our fifties and sixties and seventies, when we were young we never imagined that we would be able to get married, let alone the idea of forming our own families,” Sloan says. “There’s a small fraction of us who pressed for it and they did make it happen but for the vast majority of us it just wasn’t an option, it was not something that we thought about. “For folks around my age there was a pain in feeling we didn’t have that option and ‘excuses’ like ‘I’m too old now’ or ‘I’m too selfish’ were things that we kind of told ourselves to ease our pain a little bit. If I was younger Jan and I would be having a baby, I feel certain of it. And I’m not. No criticism, of course, of younger people who are not having kids, but I’m pretty sure we’d have kids if we were a generation younger.” Family Equality Council’s mission is to advance legal and lived equality for LGBTQ families, and for those who wish to form them, through building community, changing hearts and minds, and driving policy change. One of the most prominent activities of Family Equality Council is Family Week in Provincetown. This is the largest annual gathering of lesbian, gay, bisexual,

Bringing a biological baby into the world can cost $180,000. For twins it can be around a quarter million. The biggest question is: Can we make it cheaper? Through our podcast we have met so many dads in various stages of the parenthood journey. But whether it’s in gay dad Facebook groups or in face-to-face interaction, there’s no doubt that the biggest issue gay dads tackle is the cost of surrogacy. In our season premiere of Daddy Squared we decided to dive into the costs of surrogacy and try to figure out how flexible (downward, we mean) these costs are. The first step for us was to find a surrogacy agency that we can trust and that agrees to be transparent with us on the money issue. Our motto was: no hidden costs. Yan conducted research by asking gay dads in Facebook groups and dads in the community on our Instagram account. In the research, Circle Surrogacy was the #1 agency that dads were happy with in terms of client service and support. We turned to Circle Surrogacy asked to talk about money, and surprisingly (to us) we were answered quickly and warmly. — A quick disclosure: Circle Surrogacy, through this process has also become a sponsor of Daddy SQR podcast, but in our episode they speak generally about options, not specifically about themselves, and their openness has been truly refreshing. According to Sam Hyde, President of Circle Surrogacy, costs can be flexed up or flexed down based on small choices you can make along the journey. Examples include travel costs, surrogate location, egg donor history, etc. “When you’re going through a journey like this there are, unfortunately, quite a few ‘fingers in the pie’ with regard to costs,” Hyde explains, “and I think that what drives confusion sometimes, or anxiety around the costs, is the different parties that are involved.” “To break it down at a high level, there are a couple of big buckets you’ll be looking at when it comes to cost,” Sam says. “The first one that I list, just because of my position, is the agency fee. This is the cost associated with the surrogacy or egg donation agency that will help you and holds your hand along the journey.” During our research we realized that some agencies (Circle, for example) include in their fees all the legal costs as well. Other agencies use an outside fertility lawyer that bills separately, so when comparing agency fees make sure you’re comparing “apples to apples.” “The second bucket,” continued Sam Hyde, “is compensation for the actual women helping you along on this journey. So that’s compensation for the egg donor to go through a cycle to produce the eggs that create the embryos, and compensation for the gestational surrogate who carries the child. “The third big bucket you’ll run into is costs around the actual medical care that needs to be done. You’ll work with a clinic that you’ll pay for the medical work of the journey. “The last big bucket that you’ll run into is about maternity insurance. This is usually a point of confusion for some of our international clients who come from countries with a universal coverage. In the U.S. we need to put insurance vehicles in place for both the egg donor and the surrogate.” Conclusion: In the case of Circle Surrogacy, your surrogacy costs split between two parties: agency and fertility clinic. Here’s your journey and how it splits financially:

Bringing a biological baby into the world can cost $180,000. For twins it can be around a quarter million. The biggest question is: Can we make it cheaper? Through our podcast we have met so many dads in various stages of the parenthood journey. But whether it’s in gay dad Facebook groups or in face-to-face interaction, there’s no doubt that the biggest issue gay dads tackle is the cost of surrogacy. In our season premiere of Daddy Squared we decided to dive into the costs of surrogacy and try to figure out how flexible (downward, we mean) these costs are. The first step for us was to find a surrogacy agency that we can trust and that agrees to be transparent with us on the money issue. Our motto was: no hidden costs. Yan conducted research by asking gay dads in Facebook groups and dads in the community on our Instagram account. In the research, Circle Surrogacy was the #1 agency that dads were happy with in terms of client service and support. We turned to Circle Surrogacy asked to talk about money, and surprisingly (to us) we were answered quickly and warmly. — A quick disclosure: Circle Surrogacy, through this process has also become a sponsor of Daddy SQR podcast, but in our episode they speak generally about options, not specifically about themselves, and their openness has been truly refreshing. According to Sam Hyde, President of Circle Surrogacy, costs can be flexed up or flexed down based on small choices you can make along the journey. Examples include travel costs, surrogate location, egg donor history, etc. “When you’re going through a journey like this there are, unfortunately, quite a few ‘fingers in the pie’ with regard to costs,” Hyde explains, “and I think that what drives confusion sometimes, or anxiety around the costs, is the different parties that are involved.” “To break it down at a high level, there are a couple of big buckets you’ll be looking at when it comes to cost,” Sam says. “The first one that I list, just because of my position, is the agency fee. This is the cost associated with the surrogacy or egg donation agency that will help you and holds your hand along the journey.” During our research we realized that some agencies (Circle, for example) include in their fees all the legal costs as well. Other agencies use an outside fertility lawyer that bills separately, so when comparing agency fees make sure you’re comparing “apples to apples.” “The second bucket,” continued Sam Hyde, “is compensation for the actual women helping you along on this journey. So that’s compensation for the egg donor to go through a cycle to produce the eggs that create the embryos, and compensation for the gestational surrogate who carries the child. “The third big bucket you’ll run into is costs around the actual medical care that needs to be done. You’ll work with a clinic that you’ll pay for the medical work of the journey. “The last big bucket that you’ll run into is about maternity insurance. This is usually a point of confusion for some of our international clients who come from countries with a universal coverage. In the U.S. we need to put insurance vehicles in place for both the egg donor and the surrogate.” Conclusion: In the case of Circle Surrogacy, your surrogacy costs split between two parties: agency and fertility clinic. Here’s your journey and how it splits financially:

There are so many things that change from the time you decide you want to become a parent until it happens... and then after it happens. But one of the changes that may not be so obvious is the effect that all of this can have on your social life in general, and especially on close friends. And relationships with your closest gay friends - many of whom often don’t have children - can be a real question. In our season finale we brought on two guests -- each of them is best friends with a gay dad couple, to explore changes in close friendships after parenthood starts. Get the Daddy2 Community Sheet! Download a cheat sheet of what we learned during the first season of Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast, some gratuitous pictures of pretty men, and some ideas to think about. Also, we want to stay in touch with you and build an army of dads (and friends). Fill in your name and email and we'll send you a link to download! NameEmail* A couple of years ago, entrepreneur Leslie Farnsworth, who decided she didn't want to have kids, gave an advise on TODAY for parents who want to remain close with a child-free friend: "talk about your children, because your girlfriend truly does want to hear about your little ones," she said, "but don't get into a long dish session on every detail of your kids’ lives and completely forget to ask your friend what is happening in her world." The internet is filled with advice and information for straight people (and especially for straight women) about friendship after major changes in life, and in particularly staying close when one friend has kids and the other doesn’t. But what about the gays (“But What About the Gays” could be our podcast’s sub-title)? The 'gayby boom' and the daily discourse on same sex parenting has yet to cover this subject, even though this issue is one of the biggest concerns among gay men who wish to have kids: what's going to happen to our social life? What's going to happen to our family-like relationship with our childless gay friends? To open a window to this discussion we brought on not one but two gay best friends, who each share from his personal experience what it’s like staying friends with a gay couple after they had children; what's changed and what hasn't. Scott Bufford has been friends with Alex for 17 years, long before Alex met Yan. Originally from St. Louis, Missouri, Scott lives in Los Angeles and works as the Creative Director for the Television Academy and had previously worked in the art department at Disney. He is currently single.   Dwayne Landry has been friends with Richard and Tommy for 18 years, he knew them separately before they met each other. He has been through their child-making process with them up close, and has been in their twins' lives in the past 10 years like family. Originally from Louisiana, Dwayne lives in Los Angeles and works as an IT consultant. Episode Credits: Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex Maghen Guests: Scott Bufford, Dwayne Landry Music: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy here Join our Facebook group! Download the Daddy2 Season 1 Community Connection Sheet (free) For any questions, comments or advise,

There are so many things that change from the time you decide you want to become a parent until it happens... and then after it happens. But one of the changes that may not be so obvious is the effect that all of this can have on your social life in general, and especially on close friends. And relationships with your closest gay friends - many of whom often don’t have children - can be a real question. In our season finale we brought on two guests -- each of them is best friends with a gay dad couple, to explore changes in close friendships after parenthood starts. Get the Daddy2 Community Sheet! Download a cheat sheet of what we learned during the first season of Daddy Squared: The Gay Dads Podcast, some gratuitous pictures of pretty men, and some ideas to think about. Also, we want to stay in touch with you and build an army of dads (and friends). Fill in your name and email and we'll send you a link to download! NameEmail* A couple of years ago, entrepreneur Leslie Farnsworth, who decided she didn't want to have kids, gave an advise on TODAY for parents who want to remain close with a child-free friend: "talk about your children, because your girlfriend truly does want to hear about your little ones," she said, "but don't get into a long dish session on every detail of your kids’ lives and completely forget to ask your friend what is happening in her world." The internet is filled with advice and information for straight people (and especially for straight women) about friendship after major changes in life, and in particularly staying close when one friend has kids and the other doesn’t. But what about the gays (“But What About the Gays” could be our podcast’s sub-title)? The 'gayby boom' and the daily discourse on same sex parenting has yet to cover this subject, even though this issue is one of the biggest concerns among gay men who wish to have kids: what's going to happen to our social life? What's going to happen to our family-like relationship with our childless gay friends? To open a window to this discussion we brought on not one but two gay best friends, who each share from his personal experience what it’s like staying friends with a gay couple after they had children; what's changed and what hasn't. Scott Bufford has been friends with Alex for 17 years, long before Alex met Yan. Originally from St. Louis, Missouri, Scott lives in Los Angeles and works as the Creative Director for the Television Academy and had previously worked in the art department at Disney. He is currently single.   Dwayne Landry has been friends with Richard and Tommy for 18 years, he knew them separately before they met each other. He has been through their child-making process with them up close, and has been in their twins' lives in the past 10 years like family. Originally from Louisiana, Dwayne lives in Los Angeles and works as an IT consultant. Episode Credits: Co-Hosts: Yan Dekel, Alex Maghen Guests: Scott Bufford, Dwayne Landry Music: Hercules & Love Affair, “Leonora” buy here Join our Facebook group! Download the Daddy2 Season 1 Community Connection Sheet (free) For any questions, comments or advise,