The Fierce Marriage Podcast

This episode is a VERY important one for us... it probably for you too! You'll have to listen to find out why!? :) Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!

Is it possible to have lustful motivations in marriage? What makes an attitude or action loving or lustful? Hebrews 13:4 says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Could this apply to married people engaging in sex within their own marriage? In today's podcast, we'll explore just that in hopes of providing insight, clarity, and perspective on loving vs. lustful motivations in bed. Couple's Challenge After listening to this episode, ask yourself: are there areas in your sex life where lust has taken over? If so, have a conversation with your husband or wife about how you can let love be your sole motivator. Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!

Fighting naked—both literally and figuratively—has been pivotal in helping us fight well. Yes, you can “fight well” in your marriage. Conflict, disagreements, frustrations, tension—none of this is new to marriage. That's what today's episode is all about. Put two people in a covenant together, living in the same house for life, and conflict is inevitable. First, we'll explore and understand what the bible says about how to resolve conflict, then we’ll leave you with a few tangible ways to deal with conflict in a healthy way. Couple's Challenge Set aside some intentional time and discuss how you “fight.” Is it healthy? Is there a better way you could handle it? Do you notice any triggers? How are you responding and not reacting? Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored if you would SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest!

We are big advocates for understanding the “why” behind the “what.” When we can understand the deeper meaning of covenant, we are better equipped to understand its importance for every facet of modern-day marriage. There is wisdom to be mined, understanding to be gleaned, and a clearer and more joyful path for our marriage when we seek to understand covenant. There is power and purpose in a lifelong commitment! Mentioned In the Quick Q&A, we mentioned this talk on evaluating birth-control. It's long but well worth the listen. If you use birth control, it's important you understand what exactly happens and how it functions in your body: http://resources.thegospelcoalition.org/library/sex-without-children Couple's Challenge Think of one new thing you’ve learned about covenant from today’s podcast? Discuss it with your spouse. Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!) Fierce Marriage (the book) is available at https://fiercemarriagebook.com. Go there to learn more! Don’t forget! If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

One of the truest markers of genuine love is its staying power—its longevity, its ability to persevere, and its ability to withstand. This is the type of love Christ shows us, and its the type of love we're called to express in marriage.However, our culture and our humanity would have us believe something else. Without a biblical understanding of love, we're prone to follow the whims of emotion and experience. We risk confusing infatuation for love. We believe the lie that love can only be found or stumbled upon rather than built, nurtured, and acted out. We risk believing that love is fickle and fragile—that it's something that can break or fade over time. That couldn't be further from the truth. Love is strong, not weak. It's decisive, not elusive. And love is BIG... so much bigger than our emotions can express or our moods can decide. How is love so big and so strong? In short, love is not a human idea. Love is God's idea, created by his design, and sustained by his strength.And there is no greater display of love than Christ on the cross. John 15:13 says this, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." No love is stronger than God's love in Christ, which is why we're called to love as Christ loves—fiercely, unconditionally, perfectly.The catch is this: we can't love without God's help. We need to experience his love in Christ and be fueled by the transformation it brings. In today's episode, we'll discuss the above and more! Couple's Challenge Read through 1 Corinthians 13 and do two things: * Write down how Jesus shows you each characteristic of love. * Write down how you can show each characteristic to each other. Once you've done that, discuss! Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Listen in as Ryan and Selena discuss how to deal with anger in marriage (i.e. conflict, frustration, bitterness) in productive, biblical ways. Couple's Challenge Set aside some time to talk and write down anger triggers. Try to trace them back to their root causes and identify why they make you feel this way? Dive into scripture and discover what it says and how it instructs in the area of anger and the roots of it in your heart. James and Colossians are great places to start. Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, feel free to ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Is respect earned, given, or some combination of the two? What should a wife do if she wants to respect her husband but he's not acting respectably? The biblical idea of respect in marriage can be tricky against our cultural backdrop, but it's worth hashing through because we see a beautiful picture of the gospel on the other side. In this episode, Ryan and Selena discuss the concept of wives respecting their husbands as instructed in 1 Peter 3: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 1 Peter 3:1-2 To best understand these instructions, it's vital to understand the context of 1 Peter as a book and what he's addressing in the early church. Listen in as we start that conversation! Couple's Challenge Read 1 Peter 1-5. Seek an understanding of the context of the book and discuss chapter 3 in terms of what it means for your marriage. Spread the Love If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Sex is so much more than physical and its purposes extend far beyond our immediate pleasure. How exactly has God designed sex for his eternal purposes? How can we enjoy intimacy more deeply knowing that we're profoundly reflecting certain aspects of God's grace and goodness in the gospel? In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore three purposes of sex as found in Genesis 1 and expanded upon through Ephesians 5. If you're looking to further your understanding of sexual intimacy and increase your enjoyment, you will likely find something helpful in this episode. Don't Forget If we've earned it we'd be honored to have your subscription. In short, SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.  

There are few things more disheartening than seeing a husband and a wife who have lost their desire and curiosity for each other. In today's episode, we discuss exactly why a vibrant dating life is vital to a healthy marriage. We clearly define the objectives of "dating", discuss how to make it a priority, and explore all sorts of fun and unique date ideas. Even with the variety of adventures we discuss, they all have one thing in common: they're designed to grow your friendship, which is absolutely essential for a strong, thriving marriage. Don't Forget If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Many couples experience separation for days, weeks, or even months because of work-related travel. If you or your husband/wife travel for a corporate job or military deployment, you will face unique challenges when it comes to staying connected emotionally (and physically), as well as maintaining spouse-honoring (and God-honoring) integrity while apart. In today's podcast, Ryan and Selena discuss five ways to fight for personal integrity while one of you is away for work. Show overview: Proverbs 25:28A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. 5 Ways to Fight for Your Integrity While Traveling for Work   * Do healthy things to stay busy (have healthy fun) * Read, go to a good movie, workout. * Know yourself: what tempts you and steer clear of it. * Establish a solid accountability system: * Your spouse * Check in questions * Trusted, respected friends * Software filtering * Bring your spouse “with” you. Mention him/her intentionally in conversations with the opposite sex. * Gather with brothers/sisters in Christ. * Attend a church service, stay with people/acquaintances instead of staying alone)   Don't Forget If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Every marriage begins with purpose, passion, and intentional pursuit, but few marriages stay that way. Maintaining passion and joy in marriage is largely dependent both spouses committing to a lifelong pursuit. And a lifelong pursuit is only sustainable (truly) through experiencing the radical love of God in Jesus. In this episode, Ryan and Selena explore everything they learned about pursuing each other after completing the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge. Even after nearly 15 years of marriage, they're still learning how to love one another like Christ. You can join the challenge by visiting 31DayPursuit.com (https://31daypursuit.com). Today's Quick Q&A Questions: * How to connect when schedules are hectic and you can't seem to make enough time? * How to keep conversations fresh on date nights when you feel like you don't know what to talk about? * How do I handle unsolicited PMs from the opposite sex? Don’t forget! If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) or https://fiercemarriage.com/ask (https://fiercemarriage.com/ask ) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Marriage is a magnificent gift, but we're imperfect people. We have a propensity for poison: our sinful desires tend to poison the pure things in our life. God uses marriage to sanctify us. Verses mentioned: Romans 3:23, Romans 3:10, 1 John 1:10 The 3 P's That Can Poison Your Marriage 1: Pennies (Finances) Pennies poison our marriage by creating mistaken identity through comparing or a wrong source of security. This inevitably leads to fear and frustration that can strain your relationship in multiple ways. The antidote? Understanding that God is sovereign, loving, and faithful to provide. Read: Matthew 6:35-31 2: Perversion (of Sex and Intimacy) Sex is a physical confirmation of a spiritual truth/covenant. A perversion is "the alteration of something from its original course." For sex and intimacy, pornography addiction distorts one or both spouse's view of what sex should entail. Ask yourselves the question: if all you ever knew about sex was what you discovered as a married couple (without outside influences of media, pornography, etc), how would your sex life look? You would be enough for each other The antidote: * Remember that sex is a good gift from God, one he wants you to enjoy. * Have a transparent conversation and discuss your thoughts and goals for your sex life. Where can you grow? * If you have unaddressed addiction or trauma, make steps toward healing: counseling, get pastoral care, addiction recovery. 3: Pride Pride is the root of every sin. It's what makes us think we know better than God—that our way is the better way. The antidote: seeing yourself for who you are (a sinner saved by grace) and seeing Jesus for who he really is (the only One who saves). Don’t forget! If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.  

Listen in as Ryan and Selena answer questions from readers around the world! Uncut, unedited, and unfiltered... for better or worse (a little like marriage!) Don’t forget! If you'd like, please SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW this podcast on your app of choice. It takes 30-60 seconds, and it helps get the word out about gospel-centered marriage. Thank you! Do you have a question? If you have a question, ask! Anything goes. Just visit https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast (https://fiercemarriage.com/podcast) to submit a question or story; we’ll take care of the rest.

Why be transparency about something difficult when it's so much easier to just hide it? Quick answer: freedom. Nothing compares to the freedom of total honesty in a marriage relationship. Being totally honest can be scary. What if your husband/wife doesn't love you once they see who you really are? While the proposition of rejection is scary, as those rooted in Christ, we have hope in our identity and acceptance because of what he has done. Then we can trust that if we confess our sins, God is faithful to heal us. Consider the following verses: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16 Show notes: * Transparency and trust go both ways. Your covenant creates a boundary * Being each other's accountability partners: "Ask me anything and I will never lie." * This kind of transparency is only possible in light of covenant. Covenant is huge for transparency. Covenant is the arena where the sanctifying effects of love have room to operate. * "The Phone Drop Test": At any moment, you should both be able to see all phone activity. It's not about being nosy, it's about having nothing to hide. * Be hyper-vigilant about opposite-sex relationships. For example, no texting one-on-one; always include your spouse or the spouse of the person you're texting. * Have a pre-established limit for spending that you won't exceed without discussing it. * Don't forget the underlying reasons for transparency: sanctification, freedom, trust, and joy. * Transparency is like taking your temperature: if you're running a fever (you're hiding something), there's something wrong with your health. How can I start the process of being honest? * Phones down, no distractions. * Ask for focused conversation time. Couple's Challenge: Have a transparency audit. Do you have a transparent marriage? Think about anything that you're hiding either unintentionally or on purpose. Do you know how to keep each other accountable? Talk about how to maintain accountability in hot areas (online, phones, finances, etc). Announcement! Download our FREE eBook, 5 Habits of a Healthy Marriage! Just go to https://5habits.us (https://5habits.us) Questions? Just go to https://fiercemarriage.com/ask. Anything goes! Don't forget! Please subscribe, rate, and review. It means a ton to us and helps other (future) listeners know what they're getting into! :) Stay fierce!