129: The Kimberleys, Urban Legends and can men suffer from postpartum depression (with Judy Wanijku Jørgensen)?

Summary: This episode might have started funny, but the topics we’ve discussed are definitely not a laughing matter. Join us and our friend of the show Judy Wanijku Jøregensen (aka our Queen of Vulnerability) and listen to a very important discussion about postpartum depression: How to recognize it? What to do if you have it? Where to go for help? And can men suffer from it as well (the answer may surprise you!)? In This Episode we had:   ARTIST OF THE WEEK: The Kimberleys CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK: “My Journey with Postpartum Depression” by Judy Wanijku Jørgensen (visit Judy’s website and read her stories here) Marta’s 5 steps to start dealing with postpartum depression Inform your doctor/ nurse Forgive yourself  Take care of your emotions  Organize as much support as possible  Make sure your partner/ close family & friends are educated   BULLSHIT OF THE WEEK: Can men truly suffer from postpartum depression? From “The weather” by Aubrey Hirsch (read the full article on Medium) The depression is a flu that will not abet. Most mornings, D drags himself into the living room on all fours. He lies face-down on the interlocking foam floor tiles, his upturned arms at his sides. The baby crawls over him, tugging his hair, drooling on his t-shirts. He doesn’t move. He complains of headaches, nausea. He has nightmares. He’s cold all the time. No, he’s hot all the time. He never sings anymore when he moves through the house. Sometimes when he walks, I swear I can hear it, the depression. It’s a liquid sound. I can hear the cortisol sloshing around in his veins. I can hear the adrenaline drip-drip-dripping down the twisted cord of his spine. To name it, I have since learned, is fully half the battle. So I will name it here: D suffered from postpartum depression. I will name it here because we didn’t name it then, not in those tender months after our first baby was born. We knew there was a problem — a big, hulking bear of a problem — but we didn’t call it postpartum depression. We called it up all night and not enough resources. We called it fussy baby and reflux is brutal. We called it stress and bad sleeper and babies are hard even when they’re easy. We said we were tired. We said we hadn’t lined up enough help. We said we weren’t good at co-parenting a newborn. These things were true, but there was something else, too In hindsight, we should have seen it right away. By the time my son was two weeks old, I’d dutifully filled out the postpartum depression screening form no less than six times. In the last week, how often had I felt happy? All the time? Most of the time? Not very often? Never? Had I been able to laugh and see the funny side of life? Had things been getting on top of me? Had I been sleeping? Had I been crying? Have I been looking forward to things with regularity? Not once was my husband asked these questions. -----------------