Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey Podcast

*gong noise* Kelly and Amy are back with a little holiday cheer as they recap Kenneth Branagh's A Midwinter's Tale (or In the Bleak Midwinter to our UK Cousins), a 1995 black-and-white love letter to Shakespeare, the power of live theatre and Joan Collins. They discuss their obsession with Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean, people making horrible choices, the casual homophobia of the mid-90s, FADGE, eating chili in England,Rita Repulsa, the Burning Man of the East, what the fox says, a church run by organized crime, Sporkle quizzes, a brief history of camp and the real-life inspiration for Hamlet. Want more Amy in your life? Follow the Instagram for her new podcast @thesearejustcards for her take on tarot. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

NEAME willing, Kelly & Amy are proud to present their last Downton Abbey recap ever. All your favorites are here for the movie: Fashion Backwards, Amy Repeats History and a litany of goofy-ass callbacks to episodes past. They worry that this movie might get nominated for a gd Oscar, speculate about Matthew Goode's reaction to being contractually obligated to appear in this enjoyable but ultimately pointless thing, learn about hot gay sex throughout history, rejoice that there's basically no plot for Bates, call Isobel an Isoballer, get weepy at Maggie Smith's final scene as the Dowager Countess and Thomas' trip to the gay bar, ponder the inevitable zombie-laden sequel and lambast Branson one last time for being such a traitor to the cause of Irish independence.Finally, we can't thank you Cousins enough for your many, many years of loyal fandom. You've been with us through the good, the bad and the downright weird (Strumpet City, we're looking at you). There's not a Molesley among you, and we certainly hope you'll be along for whatever projects we cook up next. We won't be far away--you can find us on Twitter, where we often make humor jokes. Our handles are @kellyanneken & @TheCynicalBetch. See you on the internets!LUNCHEON OUT (for reals, though)! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Due to technical difficulties, Kelly & Amy wrap up their coverage of Victoria and make a stunning announcement! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy talk a lot about Taco Bell in this recap of Victoria S2E3. They also chat Bane, Poortown Lite & Bohemian Rhapsody. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy overcome texts not going through to bring you the golden episode of Victoria, S2E2. They chat about Tilda Swinton, Dadbert and DODubs dividing up all the arts, the deliciousness of Ernst, poor baby Ada Lovelace, the rudeness of Shakespeare fans, Victorian Shake Weights, Lord M playing The Sims, marriage advice from Lord Byron, and the fact that Vicky doesn't understand metaphors See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kell & Amy are back and they feel like Slurms Mackenzie! For their recap of Victoria S2E1, they get to sit at the baronet's table! They also go off on a trans tangent, instruct people to take care of the smegma in their own eyes, curse out Lionel Bart, suggest an unusual method of birth control, and encourage everyone to read more novels. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Gather round, wrigglepantses! It's the S1 finale of Victoria and Kelly & Amy are throwing up some nein signs. They discuss the vagaries of digital copyrights, apologize to to Alex Jennings, tell Vicky to stop watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, first-year marital strife, Lehzen's wet nurse requirements, Victorian maternity wear, terrible editorial choices, dueling rulings, and The Duchy Formerly known as Bone Town. Kelly thanks heaven for small mercies, Amy calls the plant police, and everyone agrees that Scarface is the worst. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy round the corner on S1E7 of Victoria. They're still not having it with 50 Shades of Chef, but otherwise enjoy this exploration of the Industrial Revolution. Kelly has a broom for a hand, Amy is somewhat boring and everyone's gotta find out what happened with Aquaman! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy realy have the gigles in this recap of Victoria S1E6. They also fire Daisy Goodwin, experience the joys of Cecilia Buggin, explain sentient couch insurance options, dig into morganatic marriages, reveal that you can be horny and a good person at the same time, diss extremely slow southern accents, praise Wellington for living his best life, and eventually remember the name of the band Death Cab for Cutie. Kelly doesn't like to make a false idol of herself to herself, Amy fulfills her dream of being a punchline, and everyone's future selves have a lot to do. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy speak truth to Medium and call Louisa May Alcott out for her lies in their recap of Victoria S1E5. They also make fun of Kentucky and California, hail Coburg: home of the sinister laugh, take applications for ladle bitches, and smack talk parents. Kelly makes a sweet burn on the privy council, Amy imagines herself as a cokehead, and everyone wants Vicky's creative team to get it together! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We open at the milk bar as Kelly and Amy recap Victoria S1E4 and really get to know the "enthralling but prickly" Albert. The also delve into the upside of the opiod epidemic, declare England to be the Kentucky of Europe, wonder where servants sign up to get in on the scamming, suggest that Alex Jones should change his name, shame Vicky's fat-shaming, cheer the invention of philately, reminisce about horrifying Sesame Street movies, defend the Windsor uniform, and geek out about the Downton Abbey movie. Kelly has a Dench obsession, Amy has lady-in-waiting blindness, and everyone agrees it could be worse. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy encounter a real Michigan J. Frog situation in their recap of Victoria S1E3. They also hate on suburban Connecticut and Coburg, speculate about bonnets, decide Vicky's mom is a vampire, discuss the challenges of shaking a stalker who is also the queen, wonder why Sir John speaks in an evil accent 100% of the time, and finally meet Prince Albert! Thanks as always for listening--there's more UYDS goodness over at Patreon! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly & Amy are back at it with a recap of Victoria S1E2. Vicky's mom does not have it going on, Victorian necklines are terrible, the House of Lords is just a lower key version of Mrs. Patmore yelling, the portrait of Jenna Coleman doesn't look like Jenna Coleman, various people are rude on nuns, no one can make a cake without grifting, there's an eternal flame at Buckingham Palace, King Lear is an idiot and Rufus Sewell continues attractive. Kelly says college is a trap, Amy is a Gemini betch, and everybody imagines a world where Vicky has access to emojis. As always, thanks for listening, and don't forget to check out our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rejoice! GLORIANA! Kelly & Amy make their triumphant return to podcasting with this recap of Victoria S1E1. Unfortunately, Amy's computer crashed while she was editing this episode, banishing them to the land of wind and ghosts, so we don't have our usual hilarious show notes. The episode itself survived, so please to enjoy it, because Amy also lost all her progress on Tomb Raider so she is very sad. We'll be posting new episodes weekly, and keep an eye on our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! Hooray, we're doing stuff again! Rejoice! GLORIANA. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The gaffes have it as Kelly & Amy return to explain why everyone looks like that on The Crown and Call the Midwife. They chat about how trans people are everywhere, Lucille Ball's natural hair color, purported bisexual James Dean, makeups, mainstreaming science fiction, the politics of African American hair, Rose's character on Downton Abbey, miniskirt Oxfordians, Jack Skellington things, the Peacock revolution, Anglican religious orders, and mantyhose. Kelly explains why she shaves off 30% of her hair, Amy wants a makeover, and it's good that we all have fun.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.