Riders Radio Theater

Miss Marm asked Riders In The Sky if they would go by the Nixon Presidential Library to check for a record of her late father’s final meeting with President Nixon. They did, and it led to amazing, explosive revelations. On the evening of the day of their visit, the Riders are camped in a small clearing on the outskirts of the Cleveland National Forest in Southern California to discuss what they discovered…

Riders In The Sky have agreed to help Miss Marm find the Lost Suburb of Gold, a legendary treasure long sought by her late father, Senator Marm. Among his papers was a Presidential permit allowing him and his heirs to search for treasure on federal lands. The permit was signed by then-President Richard Nixon, and – according to a newly discovered appointment book – Senator Marm’s last appointment before he died was with Nixon! The Riders agreed to stop by the Nixon Library to search for any evidence of the fateful meeting… featuring J.D. Hutchison!

It’s a dark and stormy night. For days, foreboding clouds have gathered over Tumbleweed Valley, and on this night the heavens finally opened up. But despite the roaring wind and lashing rain, one slight, lone figure on horseback plods onward down Melody Highway…

Steaming along in their stolen train less than a mile from Tumbleweed City, Slocum and Charlie drink the last of the stolen virus. But sitting in the hot sun has caused a molecular change, and now all it does is turn them purple. Despite their change in complexion, the evil villains make a plan to jump off the train and into the masses of bustling shoppers to get lost in the crowd… featuring Sheb Wooley!

Slocum and Charlie, with the recently acquired Stealth Virus, have made themselves – and the train carrying the world’s rarest stamp – invisible! Fortunately, a yodel to the fourth power made the train visible! The now visible train barrels into a nearby tunnel, where soldiers from Fort Wiley are currently marching and generally unaware of the impending danger…

The Silver Bullet, the fastest steam-powered train on the planet, is taking the rarest, most valuable stamp on the planet from Los Angeles to the Smithsonian in Washington, DC. The train is scheduled to stop in Tumbleweed Valley to take on water, where it will be guarded by one hundred Pinkertons and Riders In The Sky. Meanwhile, Slocum and Charlie have discovered a secret government experiment they stole is a virus that makes anything it comes in contact with invisible… featuring The Braun Brothers!

Riders In The Sky – in an effort to thwart a 300-pound doofus’s tunnel digging – have sunk a shaft that intersected Charlie’s own. Meanwhile, Sheriff Drywall has used a high-pressure pump to flood the underground maze. This resulted in a huge geyser of water that now holds Riders In The Sky 20 feet above street level. Is this the end of Riders In The Sky?!

A 300-pound mole is wreaking havoc beneath Tumbleweed City! The mole – a.k.a. Charlie – has tunneled into the local Victoria’s Secret and First Rational Bank vault, which he then robbed. Rhett the barber – bemoaning a lack of business – was startled when Charlie crashed through the floor of his shop. In an effort to not lose his new customer, Rhett offered Charlie his twenty-five-cent special bowl cut… featuring Robin & Linda Williams!

Captain Rump Roast enlisted the help of Riders In The Sky to retrieve the top-secret and recently-stolen project that was previously behing held at Fort Wylie. Meanwhile, an incarcerated Slocum ordered Charlie to build an escape tunnel. Thus it was, deep beneath the streets of Tumbleweed City, a huge human mole tunnels upwards to his believed destination…

Charlie’s felonious mission to steal a mysterious top-secret space project from Fort Wylie was a success. Captain A. Weldon Rump Roast – discovering the missing spacecraft the following morning – quickly decided to take action and make a mysterious phone call… featuring Robert Earle Keen!

As Charlie made his way back to Outpost Wylie, he stopped into Prudence Johnson’s Darlin’ Donuts and – for the second time – stole a batch of Jelly Belly Donuts. Later, High Sherriff Drywall stopped by the shop and learned – for the second time – he couldn’t have his Jelly Bellies. He concluded there was a serial donut thief on the loose. Prudence then decided to stuff the next batch of donuts with habanero peppers and leave them in the windowsill…

Charlie has escaped Fort Wiley and stolen a bunch of Jelly Belly Donuts from Prudence Johnson’s Darlin’ Donut Shop. While making his quiet departure, Charlie found Slocum in the Tumbleweed County Jail. The arch fiend – still behind bars – managed to steal Charlie’s donuts and sent him back to the Fort to retrieve top secret government documents… featuring Prudence Johnson!

When the Riders arrived at the site of the UFO crash, they found nothing. A mysterious team from the Pentagon had already extracted the alien spacecraft – and Charlie – and taken them to Fort Wiley, the last Calvary outpost in the US Army. Meanwhile, Slocum was brought back to the Tumbleweed Valley jail for stealing Australian diamonds…

A UFO has crashed in the middle of Nowhere Canyon right where a certain 300-pound doofus has camped for the night. Meanwhile, a mysterious sector of the Pentagon in Washington DC is also aware of the crash, and their team of extractors have made plans to head to Fort Wiley, the last outpost… featuring Johnny Russell!

Con Air Flight 101, a government plane which transports prisoners, encountered a UFO over Tumbleweed Valley. On the ground below, Riders In The Sky were also witness to the phenomenon. Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle of Nowhere Canyon, a 300-pound doofus is camped and perceivably safe for the night…