Relationship Alive!

What is the balance between Freedom and Commitment in your relationship? How do you cast off the ways that society has programmed you to be in relationship, in favor of your OWN way, a way that actually supports you and your partner in creating the relationship that's right for you? Why is it that the more committed you become to your partner, the more you're able to freely explore what's possible in relationship?

How do you know if polyamory is right for you? How do you know if your currently monogamous relationship could benefit from opening things up, or if it’s a bad idea? And how do you handle jealousy in your life - no matter what your circumstances? On today’s episode, we’re talking with Janet W. Hardy, co-author with Dossie Easton of the Book “The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures”.

In today’s show, I want to cover a few key questions. How do I identify what “stage” my relationship is at? How can I make that information actually useful for me? How do I know if it’s worth it to keep putting in the time and energy required? We’re going to dive deep into how to answer that question, to diagnose how both you and your partner are showing up - what can be celebrated, and what can be improved.

How do you repair trust? How do you get your relationship from a place that can feel like total chaos through to the other side - where you have a new sense of possibility and vitality in your connection, and what’s happened is just a distant memory? Today’s guest is Terry Real, he’s the author of the book The New Rules of Marriage, What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, founder of Relational Life Therapy, and internationally known couples expert and family therapist.

How do you really see another person? And how do allow yourself to BE seen? How can you deepen into knowing the people around you, especially your partner, more honestly, more fully? Guy Sengstock joins us today, he's the earliest founder of “circling” and the co-founder of the Circling Institute.

What is the key to developing your ability to be curious, in life and in relationship? How do you break old patterns and truly discover something new and exciting with your partner? What are some ways to shift your perspective in relationship, to stay present and turn a painful situation into an opportunity to grow even closer with your partner? If you are looking for some new ways to discover what’s possible in relationship, then this episode is for you.

It’s common these days to hear people talking about having healthy boundaries, what does that mean? How would you know what a healthy boundary looks like? And if you’re experiencing a breakdown - how do you get back on the right track, so that you know what your boundaries are, and so that they’re respected by the other people in your life. Today’s guest is Sarri Gilman, a therapist for 30 years who has also directed several non-profits, and the author of the book “Transform Your Boundaries”.

This week is going to be a little different. We’ve had so many new listeners join the podcast over the past couple months - and maybe you are one of them, that I wanted to give you an opportunity to catch up. So this mini-episode is going to be short and sweet, to give you a chance to go back through the more than 8 months worth of episodes and choose something interesting, or edgy, or simply choose something at random to check out.

Let’s face it, modern relationships can be kinda complex. And if you’re in a relationship with someone who has been divorced, and has children from their previous relationship - or if you have children from a previous relationship, then you’re probably in the middle of that kind of complexity. Our guest is Susan Wisdom, retired therapist, and author of the classic book “Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family”.

How does your biochemistry affect your relationship? Are there ways to foster the inner chemicals of love to keep things feeling fresh and vibrant? Today’s guest is Sue Carter, Director of the Kinsey Institute, and Rudy Professor of Biology at Indiana University. Sue was the first person to figure out oxytocin’s role in how we bond with our partners - so if you hear people talking about this “love chemical” - they’re probably talking about her work or work that’s based on her work.

What do you do when you’re in a relationship and you or your partner cheats? How do you bring things back into balance and heal your relationship - perhaps even get it to a place that’s better than it ever was?Today’s guest is one of the world’s experts on the topic of infidelity - and how to heal in its aftermath. Her name is Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, and she is the author of the Bestselling book “After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has been Unfaithful”.

Many of you have written in wanting me to address the impact of children and parenting on relationships, and as you might expect - the impact is considerable! How do you take some of the ideas we’ve been talking about here on the podcast and apply them to how you interact with kids? Alfie Kohn is the author of fourteen books on education and parenting, including “Unconditional Parenting”, and the newly re-released “Myth of the Spoiled Child”. He has been featured in Time Magazine, and on Oprah!

Have you ever wondered what exactly is happening in your body when you get triggered? Why do we go into rage, or feel like leaving, or completely shut down? Today’s guest is Dr. Steve Porges, creator of The Polyvagal Theory, and a distinguished university scientist at the Kinsey Institute and a Research Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina.

In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the topic of Forgiveness with one of the world’s experts on the topic, Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, and author of the books “Forgive For Love: The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship” and “Forgive for Good” - which are both eye-opening journeys into how the process of forgiveness works in the context of life and love.

Are you curious to know the most common issue I hear from clients, and from listeners who write in? It’s communication - or, rather problems with communication. Today’s guest is Marty Babits, contributor to Psychology Today, and Co-Director of the Family and Couples Treatment Service, a division of the Institute of Contemporary Psychotherapy in NYC. Marty is also the author of the extremely helpful book, “I’m Not a Mind-Reader - Using the Power of Three-Dimensional Communication for a Better Relatio