Foodist with Darya Rose, Ph.D

Despite enjoying her healthy habits, Chrissy often finds herself exhausted in the evenings and not motivated to cook dinner, even when she has ingredients already prepped. She reached out asking for strategies to curb this habit, since it can lead to a downward spiral of ordering takeout for weeks at a time. Sometimes an issue like this is a result of failing strategies, but for Chrissy it runs deeper. Her problem is that she doesn’t sleep well at night, and as a result is too tired to maintain her healthy habits later in the day. There is no amount of strategy or experimentation that will fix this for her. She needs to focus on getting enough rest. Together Chrissy and I discuss why it’s essential that she refocus her efforts on getting enough sleep, since it is foundational for the rest of her habits. This requires addressing some of her fears and limiting beliefs around sleep, as well as some practical sleep hygiene habits. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com/category/podcast

We have all been there. You walk into the break room at work or get to an event and there it is, a table full of free (and not-so-healthy) treats that are yours for the taking. For Kristen these moments trigger her into what she calls “opportunistic eating,” mindlessly eating food that would normally not appeal to her just because it is there. Kristen knows that this behavior is preventing her from dropping the last few pounds she would like to lose. She’s also missing out on enjoying better quality treats in the rest of her life because she has “blown her calories” on eating free junk food at work. She feels she is undermining her personal values of both good health and enjoying delicious food because of this habit.   Together Kristen and I we come up with strategies that can help her bring awareness to her behavior and get in touch with her core values so that she can make better choices when tempted. For complete show notes visit http://www.summertomato.com/category/podcast

Monica has a demanding job with hours that are continuously changing. She is responsible for producing original ideas at a moment's notice, which is very intellectually demanding. Although she enjoys her work, the stress of the job causes her to snack constantly whether she is hungry or not. It doesn’t help that her job is copywriting for fast food and snack companies and there are always plenty of treats around for her to indulge in whenever good ideas are not flowing. Monica knows that she needs to deal with work anxiety in a healthier way. In general, she has a very healthy lifestyle. At home she eats mindfully, has a regular exercise routine and cooks healthy foods. However, when she gets to work she compares it to a “black hole” where she disappears into “non-healthstyle land.” The overeating at work caused by stress ends up making her tired, hurting her stomach and does not align with her values. Together we come up with ideas for how Monica can resolve her anxiety using her mind instead of food. For complete show notes visit http://www.summertomato.com/category/podcast

After successfully losing over seventy pounds on a meal replacement diet Cara has reached her ideal weight and is feeling great. But now she faces a new challenge: weight maintenance. Knowing that diets rarely work long-term and that she needs a more sustainable approach to her healthstyle she is ready to tackle the hard work. In Cara’s case, that means getting over one of her biggest fears. Cara hates cooking, but knows that learning how to prepare her own food is necessary in order for her to maintain her weight loss. After putting it off her entire life, she says she is now “trying to focus on how to make the hard work doable.” Together we explore the story Cara has built up in her mind over the years regarding food preparation. Having struggled with this topic myself, I share how I got over my own fear of cooking and suggest ways she can approach it in a much less intimidating way, find inspiration and even get excited about it. For complete show notes visit http://www.summertomato.com/category/podcast

Once or twice a week Allison and her husband decide to order take-out for dinner. They find fun reasons to celebrate, often making a night out of it by renting a movie and having a couple drinks to go along with the food delivery. It is a good time and sharing these moments together brings a lot of joy to their relationship. Theoretically there is nothing unhealthy about this behavior. But for Allison and her husband the problem is the amount of food that is ordered and how much of it is consumed. It is not uncommon for them to order two extra large pizzas and eat one each. Allison knows the amount of food she and her husband are consuming on these nights is not healthy and has seen a fluctuation in their weights. To compensate for the extra calories she often turns to dieting tactics and maintains a very intense exercise routine. She and her husband have tried cooking at home to compensate for their binges and have even planted a garden to inspire them to eat more vegetables, but eventually their willpower gives out and the co-bingeing ritual repeats. Allison wants to change this unhealthy behavior, but she cannot seem to stop herself from doing it. Throughout the episode Allison and I investigate why she is over ordering take-out and discover that she has many limiting beliefs around what she considers to be healthy behavior. It becomes clear that these limiting beliefs have created blind spots for her, which are preventing her from seeing a solution. For complete show notes visit http://www.summertomato.com/category/podcast

A couple of times a month Polly is expected to go out for drinks with her coworkers. This is part of the company culture and a great opportunity to bond with her team. Plus, she really enjoys it and finds it to be an overall rewarding experience. The problem is that at these events Polly finds herself drinking three to four times more alcohol than she normally would. This frustrates her because it is out of character and not aligned with her healthstyle values. In her normal life Polly has no problem stopping after one or two drinks and the rest of her healthstyle is very strong. She eats mindfully, cooks every day, exercises, and gets plenty of sleep. Polly has tried to talk herself into drinking less at work events without success. As soon as she arrives anxiety and excitement kick in and she feels the urge to match her coworkers drink for drink, making sure no one’s glass is ever empty. While all over-indulgence habits are hard to break, binge drinking is particularly tough since alcohol inhibits your ability to make good decisions. It is important to remember in these cases that small actions can lead to big results over time and to have patience with yourself when you aren’t perfect. In this episode, Polly and I discover what her triggers are and I share with her some tricks that have helped me drink less in social situations. We also develop strategies she can use to alter her behavior through trial and error, instead of setting strict rules to follow. This encourages her to approach her situation with a new and more realistic outlook. For complete show notes visit http://www.summertomato.com/category/podcast

Aline struggles with the types of issues many women deal with during midlife. She’s going through menopause, has gained weight and can’t seem to drop those last 10-15 pounds. She eats relatively healthy and exercises regularly, but the tricks she used to lose weight in her thirties no longer work in her late forties. While it is tempting to credit hormones for the extra weight she is carrying, there is more going on for Aline at this stage in her life than just a slowing metabolism. She's also experienced a slowing of her work life and her children are older and need less of her attention. Aline has noticed that she often turns to food to fill in the gaps left by these changes. As a mother, Aline prioritizes her family and wants to be a good role model. She wants her kids to see that it is important to practice self-care and knows that feeling guilty for doing things that bring her joy does not set a good example. Yet she feels conflicted because she believes she needs to compensate for her changing hormones with an even stricter diet. This dynamic along with a few other subconscious limiting beliefs have left her feeling stuck and unsure how to improve her healthstyle at this stage of life. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

A fundamental principle of being a foodist is that you shouldn't restrict yourself from eating foods that you love. One of the wonderful aspects of eating is that it is pleasurable, and this is an entirely valid reason to choose to eat something. New and aspiring foodists love this idea, but often find it difficult to balance the values of eating for pleasure and eating for health. Exactly how often is it "okay" to choose foods for pleasure? How much of them can you "enjoy"? And how do you stop yourself from overdoing it once you've started? Katie is grappling with these issues, and can't help but feel that she doesn't have enough self-control to stop herself from overeating junk foods, despite her love of healthy foods as well. Together we discuss how she can develop the ability to choose indulgences that are more valuable to her and stop eating when she's truly satisfied, rather than way past that point. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.co

You can probably name several barriers in your life that feel like they are preventing you from getting healthy or achieving your goals, but the biggest ones are always mental. Confidence in particular has an insidious ability to undermine your motivation, making it feel like nothing you can do actually matters since no matter what you try you'll always be stuck in the same place. Logically you may know that if you don't try or do something different it isn't likely things will change, but when all your actions feel futile this knowledge has little power to help. Lack of confidence keeps you feeling stuck and overwhelmed, and it is one of the most common symptoms of someone who has tried for years to lose weight or get healthy without lasting success. It's like a Catch-22, you can't succeed with action. And you can't take action without the confidence that comes from success. Or is that too a limiting belief? In this episode, Leslie tells the story of how several small wins in her life built up trust in her process and confidence in her ability to overcome healthstyle obstacles. This meant shedding several limiting beliefs she had about what it means to feel confident, as well as what success really looks like. Leslie's story covers several decades of obstacles, including both failures and successes, as well as what being healthy means for her today. Her story is wonderful illustration of what it means to build confidence and trust your process when it comes to health. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

Becky is normally a healthy eater and exercises regularly. She isn't overweight, but would love to lose a few pounds. She also knows that if she stopped her periodic binges the weight would likely take care of itself. Becky has also read Foodist and Summer Tomato, and knows that dieting isn't a good strategy and that she has a tendency to moralize her food choices in a way that undermines her efforts. Yet she doesn't know how to stop and continues trying to use willpower to both change her beliefs and stop her bingeing, which clearly is not working. She often finds herself bingeing at night after going out with her husband and friends, consuming thousands of calories at a time and feeling horrible the next day. Knowing that your beliefs are counterproductive isn't enough to change them, and willpower isn't the answer. Reshaping your beliefs is difficult and you can hear in Becky's voice how hard it is for her internalize the idea that pleasure is a valid reason to eat. Her experience to date has only shown her that she loses control around these foods and feels bad afterward, so it is almost impossible for her to see at this stage how a middle ground is possible. In this episode I help Becky recognize the fundamental limitations of her approach and develop a strategy to start to unravel her rigid belief that she should only eat for fuel and nutrition. There are multiple issues she needs to work on, but she'll have a much greater chance at success with this new approach. For complete show notes visit: http://summertomato.com

Sometimes it feels like you have everything figured out except for this one, baffling problem that seems to defy all logic. For Nina, her healthstyle has always been rather straightforward. She enjoys eating healthy, she understands the value of indulgences, and can easily adjust her behavior to align with her values in almost every circumstance. Almost. Nina reached out to me because she can't understand why she binges on junk food during her babysitting job, despite knowing it's a bad decision and not worth it. She has tried a few things to stop, and had a bit of success, but still doesn't feel like she has control over her behavior in this one, specific circumstance. As is often the case when a very specific context becomes a trigger for an intractable habit, Nina can lucidly describe her issue and the circumstances that cause it to arise. She knows she'll regret her actions, she knows Cheetos and Cinnamon Toast Crunch aren't special on a random Thursday afternoon, and she knows it'll impact her ability to enjoy herself after she leaves. What she can't figure out is why she continues to act in a way she doesn't like, despite this self-awareness. For Nina, solving this mystery requires reframing an old habit in a new light. Even though the circumstances have changed for her as an adult, she is acting out an old behavior she developed as a child. As a result, she lacks the perspective necessary to recognize a solution that is right under her nose. Together Nina and I come up with a simple way for her to hit pause on the autopilot caused by the babysitting trigger and pull herself back into the present moment so she can make a more rational and value-based choice in behavior. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

Adrienne has been dieting since she was 18 years old, but it wasn't until she was in her 40s that she got into bodybuilding. Body building is incredibly strict when it comes to food intake, with several months at a time being very intense. For Adrienne this led to an extreme obsession over food. She would spend day and night thinking about the burger she would eat for her weekly cheat meal and was always thinking about the next thing should would be allowed to eat in three hours. As she realized that her hobby was negatively affecting both her mental health and her personal relationships, she decided to stop training. Yet this wasn't enough to completely break her food obsession. In this episode Adrienne shares how she slowly learned to get back in touch with her body and reform her relationship with food. Anyone who has had experience with intense dieting or especially body building will certainly relate. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

Laura works at a hospital and sees people suffering daily from chronic diseases she knows are caused by unhealthy food choices. Diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, and cancer are all fates she'd like to avoid, but still her love of sweets calls to her. In Laura's mind, foods fall into categories of "good" and "bad," "healthy" and "unhealthy." She knows that moralizing her foods this way makes her crave sweets even more, and that when she does give in she experiences the What-the-hell Effect and overeats them. But because of her job, it's hard for her to stop thinking of sweets as "bad" and vegetables as "good." Not moralizing your food is easier said than done. One huge reason for this is that it feels true that veggies are good for you and junk food is bad you. How can you stop thinking this way when you actually believe it? Food moralizing is very common, and undoing it takes more than willpower. In this episode I walk Laura through the steps necessary to get past the moralizing mentality and into one that is more helpful for her long-term health goals. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

Reshanda had a very stressful job that ultimately led her to develop a binge eating habit and gain a significant amount of weight. The weight gain naturally led her to try to correct it with dieting, which instead led instead to more bingeing. In her work to find the solution to her bingeing and weight gain, Reshanda stumbled upon Summer Tomato and started addressing her habits and psychology. As an active part of the community here and on Facebook, I've watched her develop new habits over the years from learning to cook in Foodist Kitchen to mindful eating in the Mindful Meal Challenge. Today Reshanda shares her story of how she overcame bingeing, lost 28 lbs, and more importantly learned how to develop the self-compassion, mindfulness and skill set she needed to live a fulfilling life that isn't dictated by stress and avoidance. Her story is incredibly powerful and full of wisdom and insights into how to develop the psychological tools to build a sustainable and life-affirming healthstyle. It's an incredible story that shows the power of self-reflection to solve even the deepest and most intractable problems. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com

Like many of us, Tara has been struggling to lose weight for over a decade. She'd tried lots of different strategies on and off over the years, and had made progress. But it wasn't until the beginning of this year that two things really clicked into place. First, she started the Mindful Meal Challenge to learn to eat mindfully, which helped her notice she was putting more food on her plate than she needed to feel satisfied. The second is that she started becoming more deliberate in her meal and exercise planning, which she calls her healthstyle planning. Tara has a very busy and erratic schedule. She has an international team and has to attend virtual meetings at odd hours throughout the week. She also travels a lot and has events in the evening that often pull her away from home and out of her kitchen. More often than not these obstacles led her to rely on takeout and other convenience foods that were preventing her from reaching her goals. To get around this, Tara spends a few minutes on Saturday mapping out her week and planning for the times she knows she'll be able to eat at home and exercise. On Sundays she goes grocery shopping and does enough food prep to get her through the week, including some back up meals for the freezer for the inevitable night that gets away from her. Simply cooking at home instead of relying on takeout can result in a huge difference in calorie intake that likely accounts for a large part of Tara successfully losing 12 lbs in two months (most of which, she noted, came off in the first month). Tara and I also discuss how the planning leads to better decisions after dinner as well, specifically regarding alcohol and desserts. Tara has a great system of building healthstyle habits by tracking the way she feels after different behaviors, and letting that be the guide for her future actions. She uses this knowledge to manage her energy levels that she needs to maintain for her busy life, and make sure her treats and social engagements don't undo all her hard work. One of my favorite experiments she did was solve a mysterious headache issue by having a gin and tonic each night for a week. For complete show notes visit http://summertomato.com