We Have Concerns

Cosmologist Fergus Simpson published a new scientific paper in which he suggests that intelligent aliens, if they exist, are likely enormous, weighing at least 650 lbs. Jeff and Anthony are skeptical of Mr, Simpson's mathematical model, but suspect first contact with gigantic aliens might not go smoothly.

Researchers studying the movements of tarantulas in different climates have discovered that at higher temperatures spiders can actually move much faster. This is due to fluid in their joints becoming more viscous in high heat. The trade-off is that they also become more wobbly and out of control. Jeff and Anthony imagine the hydraulic robots that might be created based on this information, and worry about running from them on a warm day.

Historians uncovered an Old English book of Medieval remedies and decided to recreate and test them in modern conditions. Shockingly, one of the potions, made up of garlic, onions, and the bile from a cow's stomach was actually more effective at treating MRSA than modern antibiotics. Jeff and Anthony marvel at the wisdom that can be derived from trial and error, and wonder what other ailments alchemy can treat.

Seattle cancer researchers are hoping that they will be able to use scorpion venom to fight deadly brain cancer through a new product called "Tumor Paint." Jeff and Anthony consider the challenges of attacking cancer in the most sensitive areas of the human body and hope something deadly can combat something deadlier. Also, they remember their short-lived cartoon series, Cancer Killers: Tumor Squad.

Plastic water bottles are a massive global pollution problem, but new biotech aims to replace traditional non-biodegradable containers with a thin, algae membrane. The result is an amorphous spheroid of H2O that is inexpensive to produce and has zero impact on the environment. Anthony and Jeff are ready for the blob water future, and have been working up a series of biohacker adventure novels in anticipation.

Scientists recently discovered a species of sea slug takes genes from the algae it eats, allowing it to photosynthesize like a plant and survive for months at a time on sunlight. Anthony thinks that if we can replicate this process in humans, he might finally be able to shed the need for daily meals, while Jeff wonders if it means he'll end up looking green and needing to be outside much more often.

Anthony and Jeff consider the plight of mice in a cage, given the opportunity to drink clean, natural water, or water laced with illicit drugs. Is their choice dependent on the pure addictive properties of the drugs, each individual mouse's brain chemistry, or a simple lack of other interesting things to do? What does this experiment tell us about how we approach drug use in humans? And why is there always a 7-11 involved?

A group of biohackers in Tehachapi, California have figured out a way to give themselves night vision by squirting a kind of chlorophyll analog called Chlorin e6 directly onto their eyeballs. Anthony is thrilled by this development and cannot wait to try it himself, while Jeff is disturbed by the solid black color the eyes take on, and the complete lack of medical oversight. Would you go full Riddick?

This year the annual haunted house in Waukegan, Illinois provided an extra terror for visitors after an elderly man passed away inside and was mistaken for a prop for nearly 2 weeks. Jeff and Anthony wonder what kind of haunted house is so good a real dead body goes unnoticed, and whether his ghost actually haunts the haunted house.

A dog walker in New York city has turned her apartment into a veterinarian clinic and rehabilitation center for injured squirrels, pigeons, and other overlooked creatures, while keeping it secret from her landlord and local authorities. Anthony and Jeff wonder what that apartment smells like, and consider whether this is a good, generous thing to be doing, or an unsafe headache for her neighbors. Oh, and also Ross Con. There's so much you don't know about Ross Con.

Evidence that a hallucinogenic fungus was readily available to Dinosaurs has some scientists speculating that prehistoric creatures were getting high. This leads Anthony and Jeff to discuss all the various animals that are known to intentionally alter their brain chemistry in nature.

Anthony and Jeff had such high hopes for Mars One - the non-profit offering one-way trips to the red planet to anyone willing to apply. But according to at least one high-ranking applicant, the entire endeavor looks like a scam. A flimsy selection process based on purchases and donations, zero actual training, and no plan in place for the technology required to leave Earth's atmosphere. The guys work through their feeling about being denied the option to die in space.

A scent-trained dog was able to identify the presence or absence of thyroid cancer in human urine more accurately than lab tests, which leads Anthony and Jeff to wonder how much faith they are able to put into "natural" remedies vs scientific ones. Would you be able to trust a canine diagnosis?

So much frozen, un-biodegradeable human waste has been left on Mt Everest by climbers, that it is becoming a problem. In fact, Nepal is now requiring climbers to bring their feces back down the mountain with them. Jeff, Anthony, and special guest Hal Lublin discuss the logistics of conquering the world's toughest mountain, and then bringing your crap home with you.

Scientists from the University of Wollongong in Australia are 3D-printing their own tiny, artificial human brains to study the physical properties of psychological conditions like schizophrenia. Anthony and Jeff ponder the ethical considerations of creating organs that can think from scratch, and wonder why Australia is always such a dangerous place.